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Quoth the raven: "CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW" (Patreon)



When Carrot Top discovers that her coltfriend is cheating on her, her first reaction is to kick him to next Monday. The fact that at the moment her coltfriend is attending Blueblood's birthday party doesn't seem to convince her otherwise.

The good news, her friends are all there to get her out of trouble.

The bad news, her friends are all a bunch of sociopaths.

Proofreading by:

Selbi (Chapter 2 onwards)
Neko Majin C

Chapters (10)
Comments ( 407 )
Comment posted by HeartsWarmth deleted Jan 15th, 2014

I'm not sure what's happening yet, but I feel that I'm going to love this story...


Weeppery wep. You deleted your comment.

Comment posted by HeartsWarmth deleted Jan 15th, 2014

Look, that computer is like the God of Computers. Other machines can remember your name; this one can give you a blowjob if you know how to ask

From now on, I'm using this line to describe every piece of lab equipment I'm working with... :twilightsmile:


For some reason, I've seen that coming... I just know Vinyl too well :rainbowlaugh:

I deleted my own comments as I accidentally posted some spoilers like a tool.

I'm sold just on the description!:pinkiehappy:

EDIT: Haven't laughed that hard in a while! This is freaking awesome!

The author calls him Time Turner, but Derpy calls somepony Doc. Doctor reference...?:trixieshiftright:

Oh boy...well, this could be really good or really bad...

I still have that feeling that we are dealing with a Whovian here. :trixieshiftleft: Great chapter!!:pinkiehappy:

This sounds awesome! I cannot wait for the next chapter.

Comment posted by DavidShyDale deleted Mar 22nd, 2014

now this is pretty awesome :rainbowlaugh:
would you kindly provide us with more of this great material soon? :pinkiehappy:

Everyone thinks tracking your friends' locations at all times by secret tracking devices is wrong, but what happens when you use it to save the day? They still think it's wrong!

You just can't please some ponies.

This is the best thing I've read in a really long time. I love how they are actually all complete sociopaths. I also love how Derpy isn't actually innocent, just incredibly manipulative. DENOUTTADEN.

Wow, these ponies are so hilariously terrible.

I want to read more about them.

“Doc put tracking devices in our food,”

The problem with that is that you have to keep putting tracking devices in the food about every twenty-three hours. It could get expensive real fast.

This seems interesting, and I would like to read more. This is going in my favorites.


Could be a job. Doctorate?
Unless they cling somewhere inside the digestive tracts, or Earth Pony magic locking a trackable "aura" or something.

Lyra was so near him that he could hear her voice both through the communicator and through the air at the same time.

Well, not exactly the same time. There would be a delay through the communicator. He would here her through the air then through the communicator about a second later. Like talking to someone on the telephone when they are in the same room as you.

“But, you see,” she continued, “even if you said you didn’t do that to me, “I don’t have any reason to believe you.”

One too many quotation marks.

“It’s a girl, not a guy. The dolphin is, um, mounting her,”

And that is how sea ponies were made.

It seems that you could not decide whether to make Time Turner number ten or number eleven, so you split the difference.

This story is different from the stuff i usually read. Which is, by no means, a bad thing. I really enjoyed reading it. I laughed all the way through. I look forward to reading more. As Winston Churchill said, "KBO.":twilightsmile:

Wow. These ponies. They're so evil, but so awesome...

I love this story, but can you indicate more often who is talking? It's a little confusing for me.

Bon Bon seems to be incredibly sincere and not sarcastic at all. Lol

What is this? I don't even... That Duck... The Duck exploded my brain.

WANT MORE. This is hilarious. Liked and Faved.

This is just way awesome! Please, i beg you, like my life deppends on it, Do. Not. Stop. Finish this awesomeness sent by the gods :raritystarry:
Up + Fav :ajsmug:

I’m both elegant and incredibly hot.

She ain't wrong...


His name is Time Turner, and he's a doctor. Derpy uses the title because she's the only one who respects him, if only just a little.

It's not as much a reference as it is me playing with the fact that 90% of the fics with Whooves on them use him as the Doctor. Here, he's a normal pony -- a scientist, but that's all. I'm a whovian, yeah, but this is not tagged as [crossover], is it?

3793302 3795716

Thanks! New chapter later today, or tomorrow morning. The whole fic is completed, so I can post whenever I want anyway.

Okay, what the duck is going on here? Seriously! What the hell is this and why am I finding it to be the most entertaining thing I have read in months?
This is ridiculous! And awesome! And other words of praise! And oh my gosh Bon Bon, shut up!

This is one of the funniest stories I've read on this site and I can't wait for more.

You sir, have just taken the top number two spot on my list of "Most Surprising Things to Happen to Me Today." :pinkiehappy:

And in case your wondering, this beat you in the number one spot and it left me completely speechless: The Truth Is...

But yeah, this story is pretty funny, so I will have to give this a thumbs up and a fave. :twilightsmile:

Good so far, and I look forward to future updates. Also, Bon Bon, shut the hell up! :derpytongue2:

~ Super-Brony12

You know what is disturbing.
That fact that we probably wouldn't be shocked if that goose appeared in our mythology. Most of our mythology is exactly like that.

I feel like this is a Movie... If not It should be. :pinkiecrazy:

For some reason, I'm reading Bon Bon's lines with the most over-the-top upper class British accent I can think of. Goes well with the sarcasm. :ajsmug: (also, I'm reading Vinyl's lines with my bad imitation of Scottish accent, but for absolutely no reason).

Also, I have a feeling, that if one burns that red thingy, there will be even more fairies... And probably more shit :rainbowlaugh:


There's a point in which I started writing Bon Bon with a somewhat British accent. "Bloody hell, you wakners" and such. No reason behind it whatsoever.

So, yeah, odd. Maybe the britishness does go well with sarcasm.

“Girls, don’t you think it’s weird? Vinyl hasn’t said a single world in forever.”

I may be wrong, but I think you mean "word."

"...Not asking for me or showing any kind of feelings towards my apparent dead has been one of the most beautiful gestures…”

"Dead" should be "death."

“I would throw all of his food to his neighbor’s door so he’d have to apologize later..."

"At" would probably be better here.

Being you the one who’s saying that, I don’t really know,” answered the stallion.

This sentence is phrased awkwardly.

“Oh, fine then.” The pegasus left out a sigh.

"Left" should be "let." Unless you mean that she was supposed to sigh but decided against it.

"...But why did you said no to Tavi’s offer if you’re so willing to make out with her?”

"Said" should be "say."

So it’s not like her kick killed her. No sire. Bon Bon was perfectly fine.

I am sure you mean, "No siree."

1.)She stood there, rounding the house, looking for an open window to break into that stupid mansion and break shit up. And she was definitely not thinking about where the hell Bon Bon was or why 2.)wasn’t she talking to her.

1.) Which is it? Was she standing there, or rounding the house?
2.) In this case, these words should be switched.

So, she could hear them but she couldn’t see them.

The comma between "so" and "she" is superfluous, and you need a comma between "them" and "but."

Lyra huffed and turned around, going to the southern part of the house, where she had kick Bon Bon.

"Kick" should be "kicked."

That was an interesting chapter. Once again, you presented an interesting twist to the personalities of the characters, making it entirely believable as well. I look forward to the next chapter. KBO.:twilightsmile:

my gawd, that picture... Derpy still looks adorable pissed off.

this story has caught my attention. nicely done.

Comment posted by blank check deleted Jan 16th, 2014


I'm afraid I'm going to delete this comment, sorry : /

Spoilers and stuff. The story will be different, that's all I can say for now~~

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