• Member Since 19th Mar, 2012
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Quoth the raven: "CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW" (Patreon)


You know what would be funny? Robbing a bank. Pinkie's pretty sure of that.

Not like the others have a say in the matter anyway.

Proofread by: Octavia Harmony, Neko Majin C, The Maskedferret, and Abcron.

Special thanks to Selbi and Lucky Roll.

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 421 )

Are we doing an Ocean's Eleven? Cause that. Would. Be. Awesome!

>Chapters marked as being posted over a week ago
>Only pops up as a new story today

Fimfiction... how does it work? ...No seriously, I've never understood how people are able to do that. Though maybe that's just because I write all my chapters in Word documents, copy-paste them into the "new chapter" box, and then immediately publish the new chapter.

Not saying Fluttershy's recruitment wasn't funny, cause it was, but she's this. As much as we all have decided to collectively ignore issues 25&26 of the comics, Fluttershy had probably the funniest moments in it. And it also canonized something we kinda all knew.

Speaking of Fluttershy, anypony else notice how the Mane Six, specifically Rarity, tend to dress her up? Like, a lot?

By the by, had to literally stop reading for ten minutes cause I couldn't stop laughing. People can actually die from excessive laughter, you know? So it's a tad irresponsible to write such a hilarious story to unsuspecting readers.

5554107 I'm fairly sure it's because they create the chapter a week early before it's ready, then once it's all ready and polished they actually publish it.


Aragon, are you ever going to NOT be the funniest author I know?

That aside:

“Yes, but if you want to understand everything, you need to know everything.” Twilight shrugged—or tried to, she was still tied to a chair— and looked at Money Bags. “Otherwise…”

Is Twilight doing what I think she's doing?

“I won’t try to say I understand economics, but if there’s something everypony in Equestria agrees on, is the fact that Money Bags is not a good pony.”

For some reason I keep thinking of Moneybags from the Spyro series. Is that intentional?

5554481 I do believe she is! Grab some popcorn and hold on to your hats folks, we're in for some sarcastically bad-ass Twilight Sparkle!

5554481 Money Bags:"And what exactly is your role, Miss Sparkle?

Twilight: "The distraction."

Reading this gave me very strong Ocean's Eleven vibes.


and I don't have time to read it for at least a few days ;_;

Thank you, Money Bags, for spending all your time with your best guards down in the basement listening to Twilight's no doubt long and extremely-detailed story.
I'm certain there will be no consequences for that whatsoever.

Princess, those seven ponies can break a tree in half with just one kick. On the other hoof, you have wings and a very cute horn.

Money Bags didn't get the memo about alicorns, or about just what Twilight was before ascending, did he?

And I can't help but notice that there was no mention about a magic-suppression ring or anything like it being applied to Twilight.

Did Money Bags capture all the Elements? Because if he caught Fluttershy, I could just see Discord popping in and turning the whole place in to cotton candy and chocolate milk. Maybe summon a couple hydras.

“How did that girl survive high school?” Applejack whispered once they all started following Pinkie towards Ponyville. “Like, at all?”

Fluttershy had all the resistance of a wet tissue paper that's already been torn in half until Iron Will's seminar. Fuck, I never thought about just what that might mean in regards to... well, this. Goddamn.
I think everyone here can think of high school and remember that one (or more) douchebag(s) that you know would be perfectly willing to take advantage of her inability to say "no".

I will say this once.

We need to rob a bank and buy all the caffeine in the world and get YOU, the author, hyped up enough to





Hell. That's a pretty badass line right there.




Nah, the story is already finished. I could update the other eight chapters right now if I wanted. No need to give me coffee. Yet.

Blood, sweat, and tears (mostly the latter) of a year's work. Hahhh... it's like watching a friend's pregnancy progress all the way up to the birth.

5555807 However, this birth takes weeks and months and is completely decided by the mother.

Well, this is an entertaining romp thus far. Though Pinkie's going to need a talk on the distinction between fantasy and reality. Preferably from her purple unicorn friend. In any case, looking forward to more.

“What?!” The arched eyebrow turned into a frown with an amazing speed. He bought a book instead of getting it from me?!”

speed. "He

5555017 Money Bags: What are you DOING?
Twilight: I'm distracting you, you big turd-blossom.

5555237 I have a feeling Discord is the getaway guy, the one in charge of creating the distraction and escape route

couldn't Twilight send a letter to Celestia and ask to "rob" a bank? have fake money they could steal, cop chase and get away? The cop chase and get away and robbery would be enacted as real, but the money could be fake. that way they get the thrill without the crime of a bank robbery? plus im sure Equestria is Communist [which is awesome] because nopony is homeless and there's food aplenty and everyone has a job.

Explain reality? To Pinkie Pie?!? The pony that can pull felt check marks out of her imagination, and defy gravity, science, and any law of physics on a whim?!?

Have fun with that. I'm sure Pinkie will be giggling the whole time.

What's even more disturbing is that Rainbow Dash said she didn't survive. That could mean...well, anything.

This is an awesome start, I love Dashing Mailbox. I do wonder why Mr. Cake didn't get the book from Twilight.

As for Rarity's business, I always figured those gems she digs up, the ones that can be used as currency? They either go to accent the dresses of any orders Rarity gets for the month, or else they go to pay the mortgage and the spa bill, at least in the early years before Rarity becomes Sapphire Shore's designer. Does this make her initial profession "miner?" You decide.

5555595 Oh Hi again, I remember you now.


If you do not update, I WILL HYPE YOU UP ON COFFEE!

You have my interest.

and my attention....


5556594 Maybe she fell to her death because someone asked her to sit on a cloud and wave a flag for a bunch of racers. :fluttercry:

Not another chapter already? But I've just recovered from yesterday's hilarity. Please...I want to live.


Fnah, worry not. I won't be near my computer in a while, so I had to upload this one now.

From now on I'll update every three days or so, I dunno. But I didn't like leaving you guys with nothing but a tease. This is a heist fic--let's see some real action!

Okay, this is just my opinion, and my opinion means jack shit... but i think that this story isn't funny. like, at all. The jokes are either too slow-paced or too fast-paced. The entire premise, while creative, just isn't executed very well - the story keeps jumping around, and i can barely tell what's going on at times despite the copious amounts of description. That's another thing - you keep throwing in metric tonnes of description of things which you think are funny, but which I just don't get. The characters are ooc, and while I know that's the joke, it's still unnerving to see Twilight casually mention her pyromaniacy.

You're a talented writer - much better than I am - but I just can't get into this story.

5557744 Actually, after the Smarty Pants incident and that time she burst into flames trying to figure out pinkie sense I'm not surprised at all that she's a pyromaniac.

:twilightsmile: "I cast magic missile!"
Amulet of Spells +6
Everything dies.

Huh, I was SURE that Soda Guy was going to turn out to be an undercover secret agent working to topple Money Bags's schemes from the inside.

This story is several kinds of ridiculous, and has more running gags than an all-clown marathon...


I also have to say that I really enjoy how you are writing Pinkie Pie :pinkiehappy:

The only one who still had the same colors was Spike, but he was wearing a fake moustache and a sombrero

Should have gone with a fedora.


I...guess? I was leaning more to the "Dark" tag side of things.

My problem is the contradiction of Twilights Alicorn strength. If she could incinerate the bank in a matter of seconds, couldn't she escape Money Bags just as fast? Course, then we'd have no story but, I am still a little weirded out by that

So there they were: Seven hundred thousand million ponies feeling the urge to break things.

That's a lot of ponies!

Twilight needs to give herself and the gang royal pardons. That solves everything.

“Princess, no matter what you say, unless your friends are the size of a small dragon, they are not a threat to my guys.”

"Well, actually..."


Trust the story and keep reading, brah. Also, Twi is exaggerating in that part. But yeah, read and find out.

You know I'm vaguely disappointed that Pinkie didn't say it was a 'lock-kick'.

Other than that, this is utterly hilarious. I'm certainly having fun wit you deconstructing and playing around with heist story tropes. Looking forward to seein the rest of the story.

Love it so far! :pinkiehappy:

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