• Member Since 19th Mar, 2012
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Aragon


Quoth the raven: "CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW"


T
Source

Inkie Pie was, without any kind of doubt, the most influential musician that ever lived. Born on a rock farm, her strange life would serve as both inspiration and cause for her songs.

This is her story.


Featured on Equestria Daily


Now with a fan sidestory! My True Body


Partially inspired by PonykillerX's art. The cover art was made by him.


Proofread by:

Neko Majin C
Octavia Harmony


To Selbi.

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 75 )

It is finally out. Awesome:twilightsmile:

I am as excited as a chipmunk in a pile of nuts. Let's do dis.

The story of Inkie's birth reminds me of Yhwach's birth story from chapter 565 of the Bleach manga.

Well, this is embarrassing...:twilightsheepish:

And when told that she could never work in the farm,...

The "in" here is superfluous. The term is "work the farm." Sorry I missed that.:twilightoops:

Before I started reading I told myself I would write a detailed, well-explained review of this story. However, that has to wait until tomorrow. I can hardly focus on my phone's screen, and not because of tiredness.

My vision is blurry.

This chapter speaks to me a little.
Okay, a lot.

Absolutely gorgeous, this story is.

I followed you so I could see what your next story was right as it came out.
Best decision ever.

This is not quite what I would call a story. This is a commentary on being. This thin plotted masterpiece lacking a fraction of events as many other stories and less characters than some clopfics has succeeded in moving me to tears in ways I never thought before. The best part of this story is for me the line “I am not, however, an expert in anypony else’s life. I only know about mine, because it’s the one that I had to live.” And I have no idea why that jumped out. Congratulations and thank you for such a wonderful read.

"Proodread by:"

Probably the most hilarious spelling mistake one could make, considering the context.

3867546

Fixed!


3868565

...Dammit. Fixed.

I thought I'd only post something under the last chapter.....but I noticed this

and about the sister about the sister that left and the sister that stayed.

:derpytongue2:

Goddamn that's good cover art. I'd ink Inkie pie's pie any time.

My heart, it weeps
My mind, it knows
My feels, I can't hold
So touching, to my soul.

Wonderful. :heart: Makes me feel nostalgic, from a time I used to hear bedtime stories. :twilightblush: This is one of those cases where a good story is told. :raritywink:

Chapter four: Father's Pride:

The day she finally managed to do it, the day she showed that she could manage the entire farm by her own, was the day she earned Igneous’ respect.

"By" should be "on."

Because even though Igneous Rock loved her daughter with all of his heart, he was proud enough to recognize Inkie’s pride and respect it.

"Her" should be "his."

She did not belong in the farm.

"In" should be "on."

This is a very beautiful story. However, all I can see are my failures.

Damn, this chapter was powerful.

Honestly, this has to be one of my favorite stories I've read on this site. Managing to form tears but in a good way.
Bravo sir. Bravo indeed.

Chapter five: Mother's Blessing:

She could not keep her baby inside of her enough time, and Inkie would always suffer because of that.

This should be "long enough."

Quartz is so much like my mother that it is scary.

Chapter six: Dead Bird:

She knew that staying in the farm had never really been an option, but that didn’t mean that she had a place to go in mind.

"In" should be "on."

I imagine this what it was like for Hank Williams when he traveled across America.

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The fic was actually based on Bob Dylan's usual storytelling, actually : P

Also, send me a PM if you see any more mistake, please~~

Woah that was deep. It was a great idea (aka concept). Extremely well planned. Wow is the only word. But you know it doesn't matter.

Metal forever.

This is simple, poignant, and just well-done. Well done. You did well.

3869801 Not your failures. Our failures, or even my failures. I was the last to edit it.

This story is a gem.:raritywink:

-SS

I have good and bad news.

The good news is this.
The bad news is the first dislike. Nuuuuuuu!

Like, favorite, all the good stuff.

Wow...just...wow.

Comment posted by Dark Avenger deleted Feb 1st, 2014

This story left me torn. On one hand, it sets up something absolutely phenomenal. On the other, there are three points in this story where it really lost me:

1)

The fact that one morning, without explaining to anypony why he was doing so, he brought Inkie Pie to the city and into the music store, would remain always as a mystery. What did Igneous see in his daughter to recognize the gift of music in her, nopony ever knew. But he did, and that’s what mattered to Inkie Pie.

I hate to say it, but here's my solution to the "mystery": plot convenience and/or lazy writing. As cliché as it may be, I'd much rather have seen the usual "rebellious kid runs away and buys a guitar" thing...

2) The whole idea that Inkie Pie was this incredibly influential musician that "changed the face of music forever." Okay, it isn't that much of a stretch if I think about someone like Ray Charles, for example (and many elements of Inkie's story aren't very different from his), but even he isn't singled out this way. It's okay if we only go as far as saying she was one-of-a-kind and very influential, but to elevate her to an almost godlike status... it kinda ruins the mood that had been set up along the way.

3) The conversation with Luna. No matter how much Inkie has "learned about life," she isn't well over a thousand years old, so when she starts lecturing a princess who is is the point that this story becomes forced. To put it bluntly: their lines should have been reversed.

That's about it. This story reaches for a magnificent catharsis, but because of the things described above it doesn't quite get there in my opinion. Still, good work! :raritywink:

3876681

Oh, hey! Long comment. I like that. Thanks! :scootangel:

And... well, I guess that the story can't really be perfect for everybody. However, I guess I'll answer to your comment, if only to show that I thought a lot about this story while writing it : P

The first point isn't exactly lazy writing, as in, I didn't just think "yeah, I'm not interested on this part, let's move on" with Igneous' choice to buy Inkie an instrument. This story isn't as much about a musician as it's about a messiah -- not in a literal way, but Inkie is a messianic archetype, and as such, she gets the role of a "chosen one." You can see a lot of paralels between her and Jesus (which in our occidental culture is the go-to messiah literature-wise, although there are more): the guitar is the cross, the Band are the apostles, she has a Last Dinner, etc.

The figure of the father in messianic mythos like this one is usually a very important one, as it plays a main role in the character's childhood -- usually, if the character is the son of a deity, such god is his father 90% of the time, although the mythos varies between cultures. So, for the first part of the story, Igneous is Inkie's God, in the way that A) creates her and B) guides her through her life. Note that is Igneous the one that always stops Inkie when she's trying to work that granite rock, and the one that buys her the guitar.

The God, in a classical messianic story, creates the messiah to share its message. In this case, the "message" that Igneous shares with the world is his pride, more or less -- it's the part from him that Inkie gets when she's young, and a main trait of her songs later.

I played with that central role of the fatherly figure, as well as with the idea that Igneous, proud as Inkie, can understand his daughter better than anypony else, even herself. So, when he buys the guitar, following some kind of hunch that only he can understand, he's fulfilling the role of the God, as well as doing the last thing he'll ever do for Inkie. Note that the guitar represents the cross (or, using terms that don't drink from Catholicism so much, it represents the sacrifice that Inkie will make for the entire world). Igenous creates his daugther when he impregnates Quartz, then guides her through her life ("do not work in the farm; be a musician") and kills her indirectly (he gives her the guitar, which will bring her death).

So, from a symbolic point of view? That part makes sense. From a purely storytelling perspective, though, I can see your concerns. It does look like lazy writing. I can assure you that it isn't, though.


The other two points are more or less the same -- the problem is that I wrote them with this story as a symbolic tale as well as a simple story per se. Inkie fills the role of the messiah, the "chosen one" that reveals the word of God to ponykind. By the time she becomes a musician and goes from "novice" to "legend," Igneous is not anymore her God, as she becomes a messenger of her own faith (the whole deal with her songs, that talk about how to live). As such, she's not a simple musician. That's why I said that she changes the entire world -- it's a (not very) subtle reference to religion. "Inkism," her music, is just another word for [insert religion here], and the way it "touches" whoever listens to it is a paralel with how some people find faith when they discover a particular religion. Inkie creates catharsis whenever she goes.

The Luna part is the same. Also, from a storytelling POV I do believe it makes sense: Luna is way older than Inkie, but she's not wiser. She's been trapped in the moon for one thousand years, after all, and in canon we see that she's still pretty socially awkward. In this fic, she can't forgive herself. I don't think she would hesitate in looking for help in another pony that seems like she can help her, even if that particular pony is not immortal.

So yeah, Inkie is younger, but she's wiser. Again, I wrote her as a messiah -- from a spiritual/mental point of view, she's far beyond a normal pony. Luna just looks for help. I don't see why the princess would know more about life than Inkie Pie.



But, long comments aside, opinions are subjective. I'm sorry if the story didn't get through you for those three points, and I hope I've explained why I chose to write it that way. Cheers!

3877250

I removed my first comment. In retrospect, it's... out of place, to say the least. Then again, for me, it did kinda reflect the mood some of the earlier chapters were setting up. And I liked it... :pinkiecrazy:

Hmm... the "messianic parallel" does indeed offer an interesting perspective on this tale. I just don't think it ever managed to get through to me. Part of the problem may be the fact that the story has a very distinct message to deliver, but does not manage to conceal it well enough. In other words, because of the things that I've mentioned, I can't look at it as "just a story about a filly who becomes a musician," and because the message did not get through, I could not simply overlook these issues and focus on what is behind the story, although that may be attributed to my own lack of attention to detail.

Of course, I must mention that I did not try to look at this story as if it were just a "disguise" for something far greater, and did not spend much time looking for any "greater meaning" to what was happening, because that wasn't what interested me about it. I tried to look at it as just a simple and immersive story, which is what attracted me to it in the first place. It kinda ruins a story for me if I have to attribute something "deep" to it in order to enjoy it. Not to say it's bad, just saying that it's kinda disappointing that you had to explain it to me... :applejackunsure:

As for Inkie being a messiah... well, it just doesn't strike a chord with me. Her being considered the "legend of legends" in music was already a stretch, but now this? :unsuresweetie:

Don't get me wrong, I still think it's a clever idea. I just don't think this was the right way to execute it. If I look at this as a story about a musician, all of these allusions feel a bit too downplayed, perhaps even out of place once I start thinking about them the way you've described them. If I look at it as a metaphor for a messianic figure, then it just doesn't hit me, because the way the story plays out makes it seem more sensible to think of it as the former (I hope that made sense...)

Also, the idea that Luna, an alicorn that has lived for millennia, learns from somepony like Inkie is plausible, but the conversation itself is where it starts to fall apart. It goes so well in the beginning: the two of them exchange brilliant lines, but toward the end it turns into Inkie giving Luna a lecture as if such ideas about life, death, etc. were entirely new to her. If both parties were on an equal level, both learning an equal amount from each other, then it might have been a little better. Life is a learning process that is only interrupted by death, and whenever two people meet, both learn from each other, never just one of the two from the other.

I suppose the point I'm trying to make is that, based on what you've told me, as well as what I've read, the story could have been a little more "down to earth" in order to work as the story of "Inkie Pie the musician." Either that, or you would need to distance it from such humble roots in order to make it a bit more clear that something much greater is being discussed. The best, of course, would be to be able to do both simultaneously... :ajsmug:

Anyway, that's my two cents! :duck:

3877604

Well, everybody has his own tastes, as I said. I wrote the story with the idea of writing about a messiah, and then I saw that picture and I thought "hey, I got it." I guess that if you don't like the idea of her being a legend on her own then the entire fic is just weird, but that was the whole point of the fic: to write about an extraordinaire individual. I chose Inkie as such mostly because A) this was a present for a friend, so it was based on that picture, and B) the story I had imagined fitted Inkie perfectly.

So yeah, you're right: the story could have been a little more down to earth if I wanted to write about "Inkie Pie the musician," the problem here is that my intention was completely different : V


And the fact that I had to explain it to you... Well. I wrote it as something extremely symbolic, and I do believe that every reader has to think about what everything means on his own. So if you read this as a simple story, then read it as a simple story -- that's how books work! I just used your comment as a justification to ramble about some of the symbolism that I had included. I've got ego like that.


I still think that the whole point of the Princess chapter is for Luna to learn from Inkie. Having Inkie learn from Luna would have destroyed the whole archetype thingy D :

(I really wanted to write about a messianic archetype. I guess that I might have been a little overboard. I still love this fanfic with all my heart, though)

3877641

Hey, don't get me wrong, I still liked it... :raritywink:

It's just that I didn't get what must have been the intended message (that's probably my fault), and the parts that were speaking to me are kind of downplayed toward the end. The story felt like it relied so heavily on the metaphor of Inkie being an influential musician that I was led to believe that's what it's about. Then again, in my opinion, a powerfully symbolic story is even more powerful if one could always say "it's just a simple story" as well, since then no one can claim that "it's all just an excuse to force some sort of message," so that shouldn't have been a problem...

Inkie learning from Luna wouldn't necessarily have destroyed the archetype. People tend to overemphasize whatever "divine" qualities have been attributed to messianic figures throughout history, and they forget that they were ordinary human beings, much like ourselves. Their teachings weren't even all that "groundbreaking" once you think about them ("love thy neighbor," etc.) Instead, they were enlightened enough to always tell the people around them what they needed, and not necessarily what they liked, to hear. But even they were fragile mortal beings in the end. Even Jesus, right before his final sufferings, prayed to be able to avoid what he knew would be his inevitable fate ("take this cup away from me...") In other words, the archetype is fine, but after a while it places a little too much emphasis on Inkie being some "divine figure," and perhaps with her being mortal and Luna being immortal, she could have learned something as well.

Of course, at the end of the day it's still your story, so I'm not the one who should tell you how to write it. And think of it this way: you got me interested enough to have me spew out three long comments' worth of nonsense, so I believe you're the winner here... :twilightsmile:

Reading this was like latching on the side of a train filled with pride and pain hurtling through the fire and flames for greatness and glory.
I'm glad I read it.

3879714

latching on the side of a train filled with pride and pain hurtling through the fire and flames for greatness and glory.

That sounds like a DragonForce song.

Now that that's over, I really enjoyed this. Glad I clicked on it.

3869801
Missed one.:trollestia:

The strings were too hard, to thin,

--too hard, too thin

I think the comments have more words than the story...

Well that was one of the best things I've read on this site.

That never earned Igneous’ respect.

Because even though Igneous Rock loved his daughter with all of his heart, he was proud enough to recognize Inkie’s pride and respect it.

Is there some other way to phrase this? You just told us he doesn't respect her (yet), but then you go and use the word again. It's a touch confusing.

3893917

Yeah, I see your point. The meaning there was that Igneous doesn't respect them as individuals, but he respects Inkie's Pride as something that's there and that has to be taken into account.

Still, I'm changing the wording to avoid confusion. Thanks for pointing it out!

An interesting story with a great lesson.
Excellent job :ajsmug:

The wine and bread, very symbolic.

Weird story. Good, but weird. Very different from LSSTWD.

And thus she created equestrian punk rock

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