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There are a lot of roads to be walked. Some are easy. Some are tough. Some are easy to see. And some are not.
That morning, Big Macintosh has to walk. And while doing so, he thinks about his life, about his family... and about his relationship with a certain yellow pegasus. Because sometimes, you need to stop and remember.
A FlutterMac story.
Proofreading by Selbi and Octavia Harmony.
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Very nice. I loved this line at the beginning:
This story has a nice, slow build that takes plenty of time to define and develop the characters, and it does so without seeming heavy-handed or melodramatic. The interactions between the characters feel natural, and the budding romance is very believable as a result.
Nicely done. Looking forward to more.
Thats a really cool Big Mac you have there. I like how thoughtful he is.
I totally loved this line. It was really awesome.
Another good story by you Aragon. And now you can concentrate on TSFS again
I thought it was amazing. I cannot see what is thumbs-down worthy (and without a comment no less!)
so +1 from me!
There are several areas in the story where you refer to Big Mac as her instead of him or his
Ah may not be a smart stallion...but Sh know what love is
Bravo good sir
I find it hard to give reviews so just have the fact that you broke my feel-o-meter with this one. Everything was just right.
This is pretty much how I've always wanted Mac-fics to be. Introspective, full of uncertainty about own emotions, and with characters that have sides to them beyond their usual almost stereotypical selves.
Having the ship slowly build up and not just be 'x always had a crush on y, but...' is a big plus too.
3394254
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I'M AN IDIOT.
FIXED.
THANKS FOR THE HEADS UP.
I haven't found very many stories that so effectively blend past reflections with the present, as well as so succintly showcasing the progression from meeting someone to the point of realizing you're interested in them. Also, haven't found many stories that I would love to see expanded upon, but equally love them the way they are, nothing added or wanting.
I have noticed that trend, recently: quite a few stories have been popping up that really capture my interest, that so effectively embody the 'Slice of Life' and 'Romance' tags.
Suffice to say, this has more than earned its place within my favourites.
3394254
Huh? How did I not notice that during editing?
3398673
Dunno. There are always things that slip by prereading and editing though
3397159
I'm hoping people were making assumptions about the story based off of that, because if not then I'm appalled why this would have a 31/5 rating at the moment. This is an amazing look at big mac and fluttershy's heads, and it's a story that chooses to do one thing well.
Simply wonderful.
I very much enjoyed reading this. It's really neat to see a character's introspection, and the fact that it's FlutterMac makes it that much better.
Not so bye I guest
I always like finding FlutterMac stories and I do like this one. Except for the overuse of "had" during flashback scenes but I guess that has to be overlooked.
i.imgur.com/iZKJjt7.png
We are going to die, Aragon. Look at views and likes/dislikes.
3689315
The same week EQD accepted it.
Witchcraft, I say. WITCHCRAFT.
I love this story. It's just so calm and slow and introspective, which is what I think a good fic with Mac starring should be when he's building towards something. I also like the fact that initially Fluttershy was trying to prove herself to Macintosh and not just had a crush on him. The steadiness of the story was very tranquil, and the emotions were subtle but quite profound. The scene where he's depressed caps it all off as a sweet, natural moment between the two.
3666586
That's how flashback scenes are supposed to be written. That's pretty much what "had" in that particular context is meant for.
3717930 It's distracting and complete bull----. Such scenes are ones that the reader KNOWS is a flashback, we don't need to keep being told that it is.
3718000
No, it's not. It's how those scenes are written according to proper grammar and narrative. And don't abuse the emoticons, it makes you look immature.
3718046 It most definitely is bull---- and complete unnecessary if we already KNOW that it's a flashback AND DON'T NEED TO KEEP BEING TOLD THAT IT'S ONE.
3718060
Don't repeat your argument as if doing so makes it right. The "had" article is there to differentiate between the past-tense narrative that is set in the "present" of the story, while Macintosh is contemplating, and the flashbacks, because using the same tense for a character's reminiscence in the "present" of what he did in the "past" of the story. If they used the same tense, it would make no grammatical sense. It's as different as saying "he ate" and "he had eaten".
I'm not explaining it very well, but I'd recommend looking up pluperfects and reading a little more into English grammar before commenting on what is and isn't unnecessary in writing.
3718121 It's distracting, it's unnecessary (for the simple fact we know what it's meant to be and don't need to keep being told) and yes, oh yes, IT IS BULL----!
That is all there is to it.
And I would recommend learning your lesson and giving the eff up. You will not brainwash me with your prattling and that's the end of it.
3718144
I would like to continue the running joke: the "had" in the flashback scenes is absolutely necessary. Yes, it can get annoying. Being a non-natural English speaker, I struggled against the verbs tense a little too much while writing this. But as the story is told in past sense (as 90% of stories are) and Bic Mac is remembering, the tense had to be changed. It's not exactly the same as a flashback, as there are only two flashbacks in the story (the Applejack scenes). Big Mac is thinking about something that happened to him in the past, and we're being told his "present" in the past tense. So we need to hear about Mac's "past" (his memories) in the past perfect tense. You use past perfect when you're talking about something that happened before somethng else that happened in the past.
You say it's unnecessary, and maybe it is for you. But I'm 100% sure that a lot of readers would have been confused if I suddenly started narrating everything in the past sense, flashbacks and whatnot. I could have turned Mac's thoughts into proper flashbacks, adding an horizontal line to mark the beginning and the end of it (again, like AJ's scene), and that would have solved the problem... But I wanted to mix everything, to only break the story twice: once at the beginning and once at the end, and that's it.
So, at the start, when Mac starts reminiscing for the first time, I had to use the past perfect tense or else not a single reader would have understood what the frick was happening. And then I had to use the same tense again and again, because I can't just change the way the story is told in the middle of it because the word "had" is appearing a little too much. That's how English works.
Here, have a random website that explains this.
TL;DR: You say it's unnecessary because you already knew it was a flashback. I say that you knew it was a flashback because I used the "had" in the first place. I'm not telling you it's a flashback every time I use that word. I'm using the English language to make sure that scene happened in Big Mac's past.
3717930
Hey, thanks for the comment. And for adding the story to your favs in your user page. It means a lot.
3720200 It is not because of "had" I knew it was a flashback, there were/are other things that indicated as such. It does restate it's a flashback each time it occurs; horizontal lines before and after, maybe even italicising the whole thing at the same time, are just far easier to make sense of.
Stuff your website.
3720257
Writing the whole thing in italics would have been far more annoying, at least for my tastes, and I already explained why I didn't want to write horizontal lines.
But you seem to be in a crusade against the past perfect, so hey, no hard feelings.
3720263 Not in a way I can understand if you even did 'explain'.
3718121 was pretty much in a crusade against me, if anything.
Wonderful fic! I always love a good slice of life, and Big Mac alone with his thoughts is as life as slices get. Some FlutterMac is always adorable too!
How is science impractical, praytell?
fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/314/0/f/twilight__s_seal_of_disapproval_by_flizzick-d5kmaze.png
3746310
For Mac, "science" mostly means "doing weird things in a laboratory." He's mostly referring to scientific investigation.
Compared to a poet that's practical, but he's a farmer. For Mac, practical things are the kind of things that A) you do by yourself and B) give you immediate results. Bucking a tree the correct way is a practical thing. Knowing what a comet is isn't a practical thing.
I'm not saying I think like him. I'm just talking like I believe the character would : P
I've just noticed a typo in the description.
An embarrassing one, too.
Also, congrats on 100 likes. I saw it first.
This was a very touching and well-written story; thanks for writing it!
In each instance, "lead" should be "led" to match tense with the rest of the sentence.
"Right in front Fluttershy's door" should probably be "right in front of Fluttershy's door".
"Surprise" should be "surprised" to match tense with the rest of the sentence.
4061143 I'll note that. I'm not sure, but I think that was in the part that Aragon decided to change verb tense, so all of the verbs needed to be changed.
goo.gl/YmLz9c
Beautiful. I have one of your stories in my "must read again"-shelf. From today, I have two. There may be more when I read the rest of your stories.
Oh, and besides. You're answer to the question "how to write" is Pretty similar to ms. Ariadne Olivers. (Get an idea and get the damn thing done).
I hope they hit it off. mac is such a lost, and forlorn character. I find him so admirable, but a somewhat tragic character. he is too solitary, and that is so sad. it seems so unfair to him to have to shoulder the extra work when applejack is off on adventures with the other elements so often. I really feel bad for him when this happens.
For as much as I associate you with comedy, I end up forgetting that you actually write really touching fics like this too. Great work!
Lovely. That Fluttershy and Big Mac started out with a mild professional rivalry is interesting. Very good build-up as well.