• Member Since 11th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 17th, 2018

Esle Ynopemos


Was that me? Or was it... somepony else?

E

A Wendersnaven is a mythical creature. Some say it looks like a bird with two heads and feathers of every color of the rainbow. Others believe it looks like a cat with zebra stripes and sparkling jewels for eyes. There's at least one pony who thinks it looks like a turtle carrying a tiny castle on its back! See, nopony has ever seen a Wendersnaven before, so nopony knows what it looks like.

But with Twilight's help, Fluttershy is going to go find one. Into the rugged Blackhoof Mountains they'll go, in search of the mythical beast. But perhaps they'll find something more among the high rocky peaks.

Many thanks to Loving Tolerance for pre-reading!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 60 )

Sorry, L.T. I know you told me to get rid of the ending, but I was too attached to it. :ajsleepy:

OMG YOUR FIRST PARAGRAPH IS MISSING AN INDENT. :rainbowhuh:

P.S. Review to come. ^_^

Adorable! Fluttershy's growing nervousness is evident throughout. Nicely done.

Wendersnaven? Am I sensing a NWN reference here?
Oh, and it's a fairly good story too :twilightsmile:

This was beautiful, my friend. I don't think I can say much else. And it made me happy (unlike a lot of other twishys out there, seriously too many have too many sad moments). Have a like and favourite and a :yay:

nice sweet story, I think you might want to rework how Twilight ends up going with Fluttershy a bit though.

Spoiler

Since it turns out it was all just to get Twilight alone it seems like Fluttershy doesn't do enough to hint that she wants Twilight to come. Really a simple line saying something about needing help carrying things or asking if Twilight would come would help tighten it up. As it is it seems like Fluttershy is sort of saying shes going to go someplace and then just hoping that Twilight will want to come without any indication that she wants her to.

I Loved the ending, lol. Snipe hunt, hehe. This whole story was great. Very cute and fun.:twilightsmile:

A really sweet twishy and well written. Thank you. :twilightsmile:

2036945 Fluttershy was a bit self-defeating at the beginning. I meant to imply that Pinkie and Rarity had caught wind of her plans and cancelled on Twilight to ensure she would go with Fluttershy, but I seem to have suffered a blockage in the brain that prevented me from thinking of any way to indicate that in the story.

2036640 Loving Tolerance told me that's how I'm supposed to do it. I can't pretend to understand why.

2036795 :pinkiehappy: I'm actually not completely sure where I heard "wendersnaven" first. I think I vaguely remember my grandpa telling me a story about a wendersnaven once. But that questline in NWN definitely played a part in the inspiration for this fic. That crazy, crazy little gnome...

2036936 Thanks! To my mind, Twishy is the very definition of a fluffy romance. I can't imagine them being anything other than completely adorable together. (Although I'm gonna need to try at some point when I write The Needle Skips.)

2037032

(Although I'm gonna need to try at some point when I write The Needle Skips.)

Speaking of which, I WILL make you delete lengths of text if it won't fit. And you will hate it. And you will take that hate, and channel it into even more awesome passages and one day you will see the value in deletion.

Shy needs to do something horrible to Twilight. Something terrible........... :fluttershysad: Just look at that nefarious face.

2037032 I agree there. Want a cute, uncomplicated, romance story, just put Twilight and Fluttershy together. :pinkiehappy:

This was a marvelous read, and definitely made a ship I don't see so well come about naturally and beautifully. I love your take on Twilight, how her meticulous planning and mild neuroses shine through clearly, yet are normalized enough that they blend into who she is as opposed to distracting.

And Fluttershy here is a spot-on case of a nervous, lovesick mare. Fantastically handled. I mean,

“You’re clever, and organized, and good at getting ponies to do what they need to do, and you’re nice to everypony, and you’re pretty—” Her cheeks turned pink and she coughed into her hoof. “—pretty brave when you need to be. You aren’t dense, Twilight.”

I LOVED this part. You humble me, good sir. Thanks for the read.

2037032

Ahh, well them canceling on Twilight didn't really come across at all, having one or both of them watching from the bushes when Fluttershy and Twilight got back would have shown that pretty well. I think just inserting the line "I could use some help carrying supplies.... but if your too busy I understand." would have helped Fluttershy seem more like she wanted Twilight to come and less like happenstance.

TwiShy? Yay! But, I'm in school right now... Reading will have to wait. Looks promising though.

2037065 Thanks! I love writing less-popular ships because they give me the chance to write with a fresh perspective.

And Twilight's neuroses are always fun to write, no matter the context. :twilightsheepish:

2037135 Y'know, you're right, and it isn't too hard to edit that in. Thanks!

its not bad, had its errors, but overall i don't regret reading this, it did a good job entertaining me, and thats what its suposed to do! and it did it very well

and also Twishy is so rare, yet so fun to read (if made properly) that there should be moar ppl writing them !

2038778 :pinkiegasp: Errors? Where are these errors? I must find them, and deal them swift justice! Show them to me!

Alright, got around to reading it.

Fantastic. Very well-written, and adorable as well.

I would say more, but I'm really tired right now, so it's difficult for me to express my thoughts correctly. My apologies.

2038897 No apologies necessary. I'm glad you liked it. Now, get some sleep!

2039058

But it's almost 6... I don't think I need sleep yet.

Whatever it is, I hope it's TASTY!

This idea is brilliant!
I'm reading this as soon as physically possible!

Dan

In the midst of the word she was trying to say,
In the midst of her laughter and glee,
She had softly and suddenly vanished away—
For the Wendersnaven was an Otcax, you see.

upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/98/Lewis_Carroll_-_Henry_Holiday_-_Hunting_of_the_Snark_-_Plate_1.jpg/331px-Lewis_Carroll_-_Henry_Holiday_-_Hunting_of_the_Snark_-_Plate_1.jpg

2036465
Never get too attached to your own work. You're bound to fail sometimes, and must occasionally let go when you do.

2040272 I want to respond to this comment, but I am not certain I can do so without revealing myself as an uneducated rube.

2040540 This is true, and I spent the majority of my latest blog post lamenting the difficulty I have in letting go of my work. Hopefully with the edits I was able to make, the story is acceptably entertaining.

Dan

2040747

Uneducated? Wasted childhood maybe.

One of the finest bits of children's comic poetry the Victorian era produced.

http://ebooks.adelaide.edu.au/c/carroll/lewis/snark/

Dr. Seuss has got nothing on Lewis Carroll's glorious nonsense. Though if it's too long for your attention span (as is so woefully common with kids these days), try Jabberwocky or The Walrus and the Carpenter.

It's worth noting that he was a professor of logic and it's not uncommon for college Discrete Math classes to analyze his writings. Godel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid (which really should be required reading for college entrance, if not highschool graduation) draws on them heavily.

Also HE WAS NOT A PEDOPHILE. I WILL KICK THE FLANK OF ANY WHO SAYS HE WAS.

"I wanted to tell you—to tell you that..."
At the very moment I was reading this line,
"I wanna touch you" turned on the radio.
Oh god, coincidences. XD

Am I so dense I straight-up didn't pick up on Fluttershy's crushing until she out and said it? I mean, I'm not saying it came out of nowhere, but it did for me.
Alla same, pretty good.

Is it actually a honest-to-goodness standard fantasy adventure story? Bookmarked, will check it out later.

2041156 I am an information-hoarder and I relish my twists. If you didn't put it together until the reveal, I feel like I did my job. You are not dense.

I haven't even read this thing but I'm already in love with the picture. I promise to leave a more substantial comment after reading.

Very cute. Perhaps a bit lacking in substance, but the quality of the prose makes up for it.

2045037 I agree, it is a bit insubstantial, but that was rather on purpose. It was intended from the very get-go to be fluffy and light. A palate-cleanser, so to speak, after Stubborn as Ponies and Of Vows Unbroken and Truths Spoken, before I dive into the dense boondoggle that The Needle Skips is going to be.

(Let's see, is it possible to plug any more of my stories in this comment?)

Well that my friend was simply Fantastic. Really. Nine Doctors out of

ts1.mm.bing.net/th?id=H.5005763774645460&pid=1.7

Perfect. An adventure that started and ended with a snipe hunt. :rainbowlaugh:

After the reveal I sorta expected the two headed bird from the cover art to show up at the end, unknown to (or to the complete surprise of) the ponies. Aw well. Still a really cute story. :twilightsmile:

2075244 That's... that's actually a really great idea. Where were you when I was planning this out?

Well played, Fluttershy. Well played. :ajsmug:

The quality of this work made my internal auto-correct sh-t itself. It started blaring the electric mambo at me for not being that good. Well done. Now my word processor core is useless until the next update in three months. Thanks.

Pinkie. Snipe. Never seen before. AJ. Dark. Middle of an orchard. If she's doing what I think she is, then I see where that's going. :3

RUN AJ! RUN! :pinkiecrazy:

2096291 The quality of this work made my internal auto-correct sh-t itself. It started blaring the electric mambo at me for not being that good. Well done. Now my word processor core is useless until the next update in three months. Thanks.

:rainbowhuh: I can't quite figure out if by this you meant the prose was terrible, or good, or if you were talking about something else entirely.

But, uh, I'm glad you liked it, I think?

2098068
My apologies. I seem to have been unclear. That was a very large comment that when simplified, says "You make my work look like a seven year old wrote it. I suck in comparison to you. Kudos."

You genius. Write moar, plawks. I'ma go put a tracking device in your cereal so I can stalk you and your future stories. :pinkiecrazy:

Oh and by the way, I created a fun little writing challenge. If you want to, and aren't busy, perhaps you could take a look at my blog for details, and write something for the challenge? :rainbowkiss: I mean, if that's okay with you. :fluttershysad:

I CHALLENGE THEE!

Daawwwwwwwww :rainbowkiss:

2040272
But it doesn't scan right :raritydespair:

2101113 Aha. Now I can see what you meant there. I blame the class I took on syntax over the fall, breaking down my perception of pronouns and transitive references.

Don't be too hard on your own work. From what every one of my favorite authors that I've been able to ask has said, and what I've found to be true in my own experience as well, there is no such thing as a special talent for writing. All it takes is practice, and life experiences to draw from.

On the subject of the challenge, I'm afraid I'll have to decline for now. I have no shortage of projects to work on, among them running a writing contest myself, spreading word about the new Apple Pie group, and making a convincing argument to KitsuneRisu that collaborating on my next story isn't the same thing as tricking him into writing it for me. Oh, and also squeezing in a collegiate education somewhere into the margins as well. If you're still running it the next time I have a breath to spare, I might consider it, but for now I gotta say no, sorry.

Thank you for reading, and thanks for the follow!

2105243
It really isn't a contest that I'm running, so it'll still be available even a year from now. Kinda like the Thirty Minute Pony challenge that I've seen a bunch of lately. :/

Anyway. I'll be stalking you. :pinkiecrazy: Give me moar fics like this one, and I won't send Painis Cupcake your way. :trollestia:

JAG

Well, there's my day made. Once Bitten, Twice Shy was the first pony shipfic I ever read, back in September 2011, and I haven't found a FlutterTwi I've liked since then. This story changed that. I'll agree that it was possibly a bit insubstantial, and maybe you would've been better off without the ending, but it was so darn cute and generally well-written that I didn't care.

I actually liked that Fluttershy made no indication that she wanted Twilight to go on the trip with her. That's exactly the kind of thing she'd do: go to the trouble of inventing and selling this big story, then shoot herself in the hoof with her own hesitation. If she'd been even slightly pushy about starting the trip, it wouldn't have felt right. But once Twi agreed, she got the confidence boost she needed to forge ahead through the whole plan. So that was all very believable. Same with the characterization throughout the story, both ponies were spot-on the whole time.

I have to compliment your ability to describe everything, too. All the descriptions of the scenery and environments, especially. You perfectly sell the imagery, make it almost visible, but don't let the descriptions run on too long or anything. It kinda made me want to go hiking, actually. Too bad it's winter...

2122243 :twilightsmile: Once Bitten, Twice Shy is pretty much my go-to example when anyone asks for proof that Twi Shy can be a good ship. I'm glad to have brought new life to it for you.

Love a good TwiShy fic and this was wonderful. Good buildup and delivery on the Wendersnaven plot. And the snipe joke at the end was clever, too. Great job all around! :yay:

I'm going to try to be very blunt here, or else this is gonna be a long treatise. I'm bad at being brief, and this kills my ability to leave good comments. Here's me trying my best:

>Twilight blinked. “Are you sure it eats flowers?”
>“Why wouldn't it eat flowers?” Fluttershy said, folding the map and placing it carefully into her saddlebag. “They're pretty, and delicious, and good for you.”

This is where you had me, basically. This is everything I want from a story's mood. This is everything I want from fic. Delightful light-hearted cute kinda-nonsense. I love it.

>Fluttershy smiled gratefully and took a sip of water. The two mares sat together, taking in the view. Every couple of minutes Fluttershy got up to make sure the cloud hadn't blown away in the wind, but otherwise they had a restful time. After ten or fifteen minutes, they were ready to get moving again,

This had me a little disappointed. It's not actually a big problem, because after this point, I felt the story really hits its stride and it doesn't lack for anything: I think dragging things out at this point would've actually been detrimental even if critics might say this is very... tell-y. I disagree, but it still feels a little bit neither here nor there-y. I don't know.

After this point, and given the fic's short length, I realized what this story is. Have you heard the term February fic, or is it just something I've heard in my circles? It usually refers to stories that were released around the first February of the fandom, so February 2011; shipfics back then were basically "Pony A likes Pony B, and then cuteness happened"; no pretense of some grand overarching plot, no reasons for why, no insight into the inner workings, just "and then they were an item."

This sounds like a bad thing, probably. For some, it may be. The fic isn't extremely compact, either; I've seen people get more action out of fewer words despite your efficiency.

It's not a bad thing. Despite this, the story is elegant and does what it tries to do. You have an amazing way with words in describing nature. Perhaps I'm just very sensitive to this because it's something I wish I was better at, but let me just put it this way: when you can make me whip out my sketchpad and sketch up the scene at the chasm with Ponyville in the distance, that probably means you're okay at setting a mood.

And mood. Jeez. I love Fluttershy in this. Not just the end - I like the delivery of the declaration, I really do, but to me, it's the description of an excited Fluttershy and Twi's reaction to that (just after crossing the chasm) that really does it for me. You make Twilight and Fluttershy interact in an adorably delicious manner that has me wanting more.

I'm faving this not because it has some amazing plot. The romance bit itself is fairly, well. I don't want to say unremarkable. There's nothing wrong about it, and the whole Wendersnaven thing was clever and cute, but it's the everything around it that truly shines. Forget that we don't get to see anything of Twi's reasoning or any comment on her acceptance: the wrapping is absolutely lovely. And I've no idea why you'd ever ditch that ending; it fits the lighthearted no-heartache no-stress mood of the fic.

Ps: I failed at not writing an essay again.

2136837 Congratulations, you're the 100th thumb-up! :pinkiehappy:

I haven't been with the fandom for very long compared to some, so this is the first I've heard of a February fic. But it does seem an apt description of the premise here. I just wanted to write something cute and uncomplicated. I can see how, if they became too prevalent, these "February fics" might have earned a derogatory connotation, but it still works as a good base to work from if the intention is to write without a whole lot of pretense. Not the only way do do it, mind you, but a viable option.

It's one thing to get general praise and positive comments from people. Those things make me happy, and I am glad when folks like my story. But when I get a comment that says I hit the mark on just about everything I was aiming for in the story, going so far as to use practically the same wording that I did when I was planning it out... well then I need to come up with a better word for "happy," because that just doesn't cut it anymore. "Delightful light-hearted cute kinda-nonsense," and "lighthearted no-heartache no-stress mood" are phrases that I could almost swear you stole right out of my head when I was deciding what kind of story this should be, and it makes me, let's call this word, "ecstati-yay-woo-hoo-bbergasted," to see that my intention hit true for even one reader.

I've had a few comments now about the nature descriptions, which surprised me a bit because I didn't really notice it a whole lot when I was writing them. But I guess I do spend quite a bit of time around nature (whether I want to or not, sometimes), so maybe writing about mountain valleys and meadows and whatnot comes easily to me? I dunno, maybe now that it's been pointed out to me, the next description of a natural setting that I try to write is going to come out terrible because I'm thinking about it.

At any rate, I would love to see the sketch you drew. As far as I'm aware, I think it qualifies as the first piece of fanart for any of my stories (other than what I draw myself, which doesn't count).

No worries about essay-writing here. I love reading your comments!

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