• Member Since 11th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 17th, 2018

Esle Ynopemos

Was that me? Or was it... somepony else?


Spike, take a note.

Herein is contained a collection of precisely thirty stories, some related, some independent, each taking no more than thirty minutes to write. Their one unifying theme: all of them will be about me, Twilight Sparkle. These stories will cover a broad range of genres and topics, such as comedy, adventure, horror, and yes, even romance. They will be published one per day every day until all thirty stories have been posted. That makes this a month-long endeavor, Spike, so I hope you brought the extra quills.

It is my hope that with this literary experiment, I will be able to prove that... Spike, are you just doodling a picture of yourself wearing armor? Please pay attention, Spike, this is for science!

Part of the Thirty Minute Series. Find Rarity here, Rainbow Dash here, Pinkie Pie here, Fluttershy here and Applejack here.

Chapters (35)
Comments ( 376 )

:twilightoops: But... but... how can you be the Shadow Rulers of the country if you're the ACTUAL Rulers of the country!?

:twilightangry2: This is stupid!

:trollestia: But the doughnuts are really tasty and the robes keep us all toasty warm!

:facehoof: Just... just give me a fucking bavarian creme...


-My username is "Somepony Else," backwards. There, mystery solved. You can stop looking up obscure dead languages and alphabet codes now.

Wait, someone was actually trying to figure that out?

TwiiiiPieeee. Oh man. This ship, man. It's the best.

The life of a princess must be extremely boring without code names and secret societies.

That is genius! Ensure your rule by leading the opposition. And donuts!

3353027 You'd be surprised. I think I've had more questions about the name than any other single topic over the year and a half since I joined.

Also, Bavarian creme. Clever.

3353227 And donuts! Mustn't forget the donuts!

3353477 It's worked for me so far.

:trixieshiftleft: :trixieshiftright: I mean... yeah, that would be a great plan, if someone were to, hypothetically, do it.

3354325 :raritywink: Flattery will get you everywhere, darling.

Doughnuts. Best way to secretly rule your own country.
Speaking of doughnuts, I haven't had any in ages... now I want some.

Hey hey!:pinkiehappy: At my group, were having Twilight month!:twilightblush: Join the group for monthly challenges on ponies!:raritywink:
Your story will join perfectly! :pinkiehappy:( but not fit to the rules for Twicorn:twilightangry2:... but whatever!:rainbowwild: You got Twilight in it so, it will fit!:twilightblush:)

plz come in and join!:fluttershysad: You got some that will fit the months!:pinkiehappy:


And this is great stories about Twi!:twilightsmile:

And just saying 'cause I need friends!:ajsleepy: And stories.:pinkiehappy:

You know Celestia is there, watching from the windows. Or one of her many little screens showing her what Twilight is doing.
:trollestia: : "Touch... touch horns!"

Since the period of time known as "Twilight" happens in both the morning and the evening, shouldn't the title be "Thirty Days, Sixty Twilights"?

Just a passing thought. :twilightsmile: :derpytongue2:

Well, I ate doughnut holes today, so clearly I'm a rebel against this nefarious conspiracy to overthrow the crown! Ha!

3358413 Loyalist dog! The Order knows how to deal with your kind.

...Were they the powdered ones, or the inexplicably sticky sort?

3353215 You have made similar remarks on Raripie and Rainbow Pie stories in the past. I am beginning to suspect you just like Pinkie shipping in general.

Which is, of course, a stance I wholeheartedly agree with. I need to work on finishing my Everypony Loves Pie story, so I can write all the Pinkie ships, ever.


Both, actually. Or at least almost-- some of the powdered sugar type, and some glazed, but the dry sort of glazed instead. Too bad I didn't have some chocolate ones to kinda sorta represent Luna.

3358100 Perhaps, but I like to sleep in, so there's only one twilight per day as far as I'm concerned.

Hahaha. You guessed correctly. Ship ALL the Pinkies.

Are you tryin' to bribe me with overalls?

^This is by far the best thing you have ever written.

Imagine that happening in an episode. Well, without the syrup. Gotta keep it in range of younger viewers. :pinkiecrazy:

3361191 I'm trying hard to picture how this would translate to the content level the show usually has. Life-threatening injuries just don't seem to happen in-show; Twilight went through some stuff that probably should've killed her in Feeling Pinkie Keen, and she shed the bandages from that in the course of an afternoon. Sticking to that tone, I don't know how you would produce the urgency for Pinkie to get her to the hospital, and keep her from drifting into shock.

Basically, the syrup is a critical ingredient to this particular ice-cream sundae.


Oh sweet Celestia...So many faces...

Pinkie's first line here was hilarious. Really good Pie-alogue throughout, really. This one reminds me a lot of the Inappropriate chapter from your Applejack run, and both of them could use a comedy tag, in my opinion, despite the fact that something very serious is going on in both.

I also bet that's not how Twilight's teleportation works, but eh, open to interpretation.

3363551 It is quite similar to Inappropriate, now that you mention it. I didn't notice that at first. I get what you're saying, but I don't really think the [Comedy] tag fits for either of them. Being funny isn't really the point of the jokes here, and I think that difference in intention keeps it from sitting well with the tag.

Also, that's a great word you came up with. Pie-alogue. I'm going to have to find an excuse to use that one in the future. I'm glad the Pie-alogue works for you here.

Yes, I am sure this particular mechanic of the spell is not canon at all. We are most certainly not going to ever see Twilight emerge from a teleport with a lamppost stuck through her leg. Not even for cartoony slapstick fun. Although... I could see the show doing something akin to The Fly, maybe.

This reminds me of the play Noises Off. Is that intonational or no?

3365447 Given that I've never heard of Noises Off, no, not intentional. But communication-failure gags like that have been a comedy staple for a long time, so I'm not surprised there's something similar out there.

Emperors new groove vibe here

:duck: : Twilight, darling, please tell Fluttershy that ---
:fluttershyouch: : Um... could you tell Rarity that--- ---if that's okay with you...
:duck: : Tell Fluttershy ---
:fluttershyouch: : Tell Rarity ---
:twilightangry2: : I'm not your Celestia damned voice mail!


:twilightangry2: Tell it to the Fax Machine!

:moustache: You rang?

Personally, I'd have gone for "I'm not your owl!", but that's fine too.

Oh god I have to rewatch that, like right now.

This one feels like a scene straight out of the show.

"Damn, Twilight, couldn't you have just yanked out some more of my scales instead of my heart?"

Poor Spike. Sparkity works pretty well as a pairing, but it's the cruelest possible one for how it affects Spike.

Anyway, kind of a clever approach to the prompt, distracting us with the minor bit of physical pain before suddenly dropping in the real ouch moment between these two.

3369496 Sparkity. Now there's a variation on the portmanteau that I haven't seen before. More than any other ship, it seems, Twilight x Rarity has the hardest time producing a single agreed-upon portmanteau.

Also, it emotionally destroys Spike, but the portmanteau issue is clearly the bigger drawback.

3371555 I honeslty think the only reason people have trouble with the portmanteau of Twilight x Rarity is that they can't handle Rarity's name being first in it. Cuz RariLight works pretty much perfectly, but some people are oddly resistant to it.

Course I kinda avoid the portmanteaus anyway. I just say Twi x Rarity or something, because it's unambiguous.

3371745 Perhaps the issue with "Rarilight" is that the '-light' part of it isn't immediately clear it refers to Twilight? I mean, lots of ponies have got to have 'light' in their names, right? It could refer to shipping Rarity with... um... okay, Twilight's father, Night Light, is the only example that springs to mind at the moment. :raritydespair:

Probably a good policy, avoiding portmanteaus altogether, but some of them (Apple Pie) are just too darn cute for me to resist.

I think I shall henceforth refer to the pairing of Twilight and Rarity as "Raritwi-spark-lightity."

3371788 Maybe but it strikes me that this seems to be an issue in lots of situations. Like Cheerilee x Twilight. The bigger group? Insists on "Twirilee" which sounds amazingly lame. Cheerilight makes sense, but...

Honestly I really do think it has more to do with "Twilight should be first!" even though I have no evidence other than my gut impression.


Heh, indeed. After years of being stuck behind at the library while the ponies go off on most of their adventures without him, Spike has probably just accepted by now that his concerns are always a step or two down on the priority scale. One more reason to say poor, poor Spike.

So on that note, I actually try to avoid all portmanteaus that put Rarity's name first, even the commonly accepted ones like Rarijack. Personally, I just find "Rari" to be an extremely clumsy and unpleasant half of a word for anything but her actual name, not at all befitting her elegance, so I much prefer to use the "ity" portion, as it makes for words that roll off the tongue so much more pleasantly. Hard to start a word with that, though, so she ends up being the 2nd half every time. Pinkity or Pie-ity, Jackity, and yes, Sparkity, etc, just sound so much nicer. RariLight, RariTwi, RariPie, and so on? Bleh. Well, except perhaps for Rarity x Rainbow Dash, since "Dashity" ends up sounding rather crude, "Bowity" sounds like Rarity as an archer, and "Rainity" is just...weird. Fluttershy x Rarity is a tough call. "Flarity" is slightly iffy, and "RariShy" is better than the other Rari- names, but I still think I prefer to use the "ity" half.

And then for Spike x Rarity, I say "Spikity", because "Sparity" sounds vaguely dismissive, like it's a "spare" pairing that doesn't count as much.

Also, kind of amused by the theory that I'm belittling Rarity's significance, seeing how I have a Rarity avatar and all.

Yeowch. Yeah, Rarilight or whatever we call it now is pretty much one of the hardest things to write because no matter what you do, you end up making Spike miserable, and the little guy has it tough enough as it is.

You can dance if you want to, Twilight.


And that's when Twilight discovered the real reason behind the "Nightmare Moon Incident" was Celestia hogging all of the bavarian creme filled doughnuts.

Because she's a monster.

3374329 You can leave your friends behind. Because your friends don't dance, and if they don't dance, then they're no friends of mine.

Ah, I'd love to see Celestia do The Sparkle. And ironically, it probably takes a pretty skilled dancer to be able to successfully mimic those moves.

Damn it Twilight, that's not how drinks work! They're supposed to make you spill the beans to the nearest patron, not forget them!

:pinkiehappy: : "You got beans?!"
... No, Pinkie. Just... no.

Ow. I think that bar just punched me in the feels. I'm just going to pretend AJ is pragmatic enough to drag Twi home from Canterlot.

I suppose that we've kind of seen this particular scenario in the show, only with fillies passing a beach ball back and forth instead. In the battle to occupy the same space as a teleporting Twilight, the beach ball lost rather decisively (rather than be embedded in her.). So it really is a good thing she didn't teleport directly into a frisbee thrower going by that example.

Still, an excellent use of Pinkie's only seemingly random nature!

3382332 Oh, hey, I forgot about that scene. Although, maybe I just didn't register that as Twilight's standard teleport, but rather her using a slightly different spell to intentionally pop out of the ball because she was quite a bit off her hinges at that point.

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