• Member Since 15th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen Jun 19th, 2021


Reads at the speed of lightning. Writes at the speed of molasses.


Applejack gets an unwelcome visit from the Equestrian Revenue Service. Handed a large tax bill and limited time to pay, Applejack comes up with a creative use of the farm's biggest asset.

No, not the apple trees.

Why Big Macintosh of course.

Can Big Mac save Apple Bloom's college fund?

Read and find out.
Now with dramatic readings!
Reading 1
Reading 2

Featured on Equestria Daily 8-25-2012

Credit for the cover art goes to cassie-chan55

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 218 )

Dude! this is amazing so far! i would have never thought about writing a fic about taxes, that's hilarious. Keep it up.

That was funny.


That was hilarious :rainbowlaugh:

And only one grammatical error! You should do a sequel

I like how you actually explained why Applejacks royal connections could not just make the problem go away.

Meh, really predictable. It was a bit funny, I suppose. The writing didn't kill me.

Things occur more than happen, but it was funny and I liked your characterisations.:pinkiesmile:

This is literally one of the funniest stories Iv'e had the pleasure to read in a long while, very good sir.


Thanks, the section on taxes was my favorite bit when putting the story together. I just think that a lot of humor can be had with bureaucracy and I figured Equestria must have someway of generating revenue.


I felt pointing out why the Princess couldn't just intervene was important. I have a read a number of stories, where I have asked, why didn't they just contact the Princess and have her fix this? Also, the whole land income thing was pulled from something i heard in a history class.


Thank you good sir, your comment is much appreciated. Odd what pops into one's mind in the middle of night. I swear this idea wouldn't leave until I got it written. I must be mad. :pinkiecrazy:

"And Ah don wanna dip into our savings, that’s Applebloom’s college fund right there."

I would have honestly not included this line. It makes all of the drama of the tax issue pointless if AJ has the ability to pay now and owe herself.

That ending...
Karma. Karma, karma, karma.

There were at least five, but I was amused enough to overlook them.

1081306 I personally think that sets a sort of grounds for why Applejack doesn't want to give the money away. But that's just me.

Usually a savings like that is something that has been building for several years with money you had left to spare after the rest of expenses. Meaning that dipping into it it would likely never be as much as it once was or what it could have been.

THis has the best use for Snowflake I have ever seen.

The land Income thing is sort of how the British royalty works.

The crown owns alot of land but they allow that land to be used by the government in return for this the government pays them so much a year.

I see the ERS is not so different from our Eternal Revenue Service.

And oh, what libidos these ponies have! No wonder the Shipping Department is always busy. (Sorry, I'm having too much fun with this story.)

Five+ errors. why?! :raritydespair: I swear I went over the document at least six times, damn it! :flutterrage:
Oh well. :twilightsheepish:

1081558 1081498
You are both correct, Applejack wouldn't want those savings depleted, plus many college funds have penalties for early withdrawal.

Come to think of it, the history lesson may have been on the British, or at least Shakespeare.

Thank you, I have a soft spot for Snowflake and wish he was used more often.

is anyone interested in fics of pony metalheads?

Actually, I have a fic in the planning stages where Macintosh gets his high-school metal band back together. Dunno when it'll start posting, but I'm drafting the first chap now.

Love the story. Congrats on getting in the feature box!

1082085 I'm making a fic dedicated to Led Zeppelin and the people who invented headbanging at one of his concerts.

What is sad is that our own fear of these petty bureaucrats is emulated in this story. Revenue agents are not God, they are not omnipotent, they are not immortal or unstoppable. They are not, in fact, arguably even a legitimate branch of governance--- the IRS has only existed for a short portion of American history, as has the income tax. Both could be abolished tomorrow and replaced with a smaller, more humble system-- one that does not violate our economy, our privacy, or our dignity.

There are certain myths about taxation:

1) Taxation must be ruinous, complicated, and painful
2) The tax agency is all powerful and unstoppable
3) the graduated income tax has always existed, and shall always exist
4) the IRS is untouchable

So long as we propagate those myths in our culture, even in jest, we secure their illegitimate power.

Okay, let's point out one thing.

It's Canon. Caramel is not GAY, and is, in fact, dating a MARE.


As usual, I'll have to agree with you on that. It was simply too predictable, not very amusing, and...well, I have a rule. If you present Equestria as having a ridiculous amount of paperwork/bureaucracy, having a bunch of ruthless secret agents hounding ponies, or Celestia being a total pushover...I call bullshit, and trust me I called bullshit.

Actually, the ponies appear to be on a straight gold standard, as opposed to our own fiat standard, which (If i remember correctly) means that they would be less likely to have developed a dedicated revenue agency in the first place due to simpler economic structure.

This is, quite honestly, refreshingly hilarious. The mane six's reactions were spot on, Pinkie was being Pinkie, and Snowflake was so out of left field he couldn't have been anything but hilarious. When you're like me and spend all day with monsters fighting monsters and ponies burning in the sun, it's really nice to come across a story like this that can just make me laugh and loosen up a bit, and I couldn't stop laughing. Thanks for writing this.

~Signed, InfiniteBrony

I think I just fell in love with you.


Well thank you. It a lot means coming from you, as I am enjoying your Guardian series quite a bit.

Actually I always pictured Mac as an 80's New Wave type of guy.
Hmm... well off to see if someone can draw Mac with a Flock of Seagulls haircut.

You raise an excellent point. Perhaps some contradictory stories would help?

my god. you sir, are BRILLIANT!
I could not stop laughing

I saw Applejack bucking trees today and dang, she sure got a nice backside,” said one.

“Yeah, it’s all that farmwork. Filly’s got a flank that won’t quit. Nice legs too,” agreed another.

“I could watch her work all day,” said the third.

“I would pay good money to see that, I think we all would.” Three heads nodded in agreement.

i want to read this is this out there

First of all, I enjoyed the story, so don't take everything else in this comment as an insult or an attempt to put you down or anything. It's just a thing I do.

“And maybe a few your not,” he mumbled under his breath.
A few YOU'RE not

"They insure all parts of the government are funded."
They ENSURE all parts etc etc

‘Wonder what their all gossipin about’ thought the farm pony.
what THEY'RE all gossipin' etc etc.

"With Applebloom’s help, Applejack setup a series"
SET UP is a verb, SETUP is a noun. You're using the verb form so it should be two words

"workhorse’s gluts as they coiled"
Glutes, not gluts

cannonball like should probably be hyphenated

on looking should be hyphenated or changed to onlooking, either form is acceptable

Is Carmel supposed to be Caramel?


This was great, especially for a first effort. I look forward to more!

....The fuck did I just read?


Corrected good sir. Not sure on the cannonball-like hyphen, so left as is.
Everything else, you mentioned is corrected.

Yeah I wasn't sure on that one either. You ever want me to take a proofreading run through something in the future, give me a holler.


Hey get back to work you! Twisted Tales through Time isn't going to write itself. :trollestia:

I was laughing out loud around the point here Derpy was making Muffin innuendos

BM is gay?
Well, this is going to be funny.
I don't feel sorry for snowflake though. Unless he was already married. Bleh.

Adorable, I really enjoyed this! :pinkiehappy::heart:

If by "gallot" you mean "a clumsy or uncouth person", that word is spelled galoot (or alternately galloot).


This was brilliant, honestly brilliant. Flawless execution of a gender reversal with a hint of beurocratic bitchslapping to boot.

Yes, there were cliches but you subverted them masterfully, or flat out inverted them, namely Dr Snowflake.

Mr Sunshine was a nice touch, as was his reaction to Pinkie, as was Big Mac being gay and not hooking up with Fluttershy...

I completely lost it when Luna boomed she was aroused. That was a hearty doubletake moment indeed. That was masterful introduction; There was no warning, no foreshadowing, just that moment of pure surprise was a punchline in itself and there isn't a single way that could have been executed better.

Now, I may be biased, :twilightsheepish: but if the Apples need money, I recommend operating a bar. :ajsmug:

1082397 so is Tom Cruse OH!! GIGGIDY GIGGIDY :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

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