• Member Since 24th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen Mar 5th, 2021



Life is hard for Applejack, because she's a farm pony, because she's an earth pony, but mostly because her body is composed of enigmatic and mysterious dark matter. Some days in particular are just not good for a super-heavy pony with her own gravitational pull.

(Cover image by KYMSnowman. Based on this video by beatledude64. Some A lot of artistic liberty was taken in the actual physics behind this story for the sake of comedy.)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 25 )

Oh look! You're alive! :pinkiehappy:

This would explain that scene when she sent Dash flying across ponyville with the seesaw.:duck:

...What did I just read :rainbowhuh:

hmmm, I wonder what this means Pinkie Pie is made of, when ya really think about it the pink pony being made of something that follows the rules of quantum mechanics would explain almost everything.

1864217 You saw that video too?:pinkiehappy:

1864436 She is made of Pinkies the most powerful substance and the 119th element.

1864586 Eeyup. :eeyup:

:pinkiehappy: Mayor Mare will be furious.

This could be extended so easily...

:raritydespair:NUU TOWN HALL!
The only way i will accept this is if you write MOAR! :flutterrage:

Mayor Mars


This was pretty funny.
Could have used a bit more closure at the end there.
Also Dash was a bit accusatory. Her aggressiveness was fine but she was a bit overly insecure about AJ's motives. She should have just switched to egging her on about flying instead of pushing the work over friends angle. Besides, AJ needs to support her family.
Also the others surviving terminal velocity is a bit non-canonical. Although Twi and Dash have been shown to easily survive injuries at least as severe.

I think this story deserves a bit more attention.

This was exceptionally strange. If I thought this was in any way a serious attempt at storytelling I'd whip out the science and tell you about dark matter, but it isn't, so I won't.
I think Rainbow was a bit too abrasive and Pinkie eating a cake of "soda, potato chips, earth worms, and tons of lemons" was a bit too random for my tastes.

Strange to say the least, but it made me chuckle! :pinkiehappy:
Could have used some proof-reading though.
For example, I don't think multi-chromatic is a word. You probably mean polychromatic. Also "Mayor Mars" has a very obvious problem.

4/5 moustaches
:moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache:

Chromatic already means "rainboiw colored" so "multi" is redundant.

That was a reference to AJ's baked bads, but yeah, Pinkie will be puking her guts out in an hour.

I noticed that nod to "Applebuck Season", but that's the thing with random: It's only funny once. (Unless you can make it a running gag.)
And unlike in said episode Pinkie knows what kind of ingredients where manhandled into this baked monstrosity, so too much random for me.

Thank you all for the critique. Now that I've been visited by Captain Retrospect, I realize I was way too eager to get this out, and probably should've checked it over a bit more. An edit is probably inbound.

Enjoyably silly, even if you did confuse dark matter and neutronium. Poor Applejack. :fluttercry:

Is Applejack Doctor Manhattan? Is she is she is she?!?!

Well...I'd give this 5 mustaches if she had told her friends and they delt with the problem, but instead you decided to keep it a secret. So you lose two mustaches. Sorry dude.:moustache::moustache::moustache:

This was a good story, EXCEPT dark matter doesn't exist, as well as dark energy and black holes.

This physicist puts forth a pretty good argument against their existence, and provides a much more plausible theory to explain the phenomena that we couldn't explain without making those things up. It's kind of dry, but really cool.

"Chromatic" means "highly colored." "Polychromatic" means "multicolored."

This was delightfully interesting! I wish we got to dive more into how AJ was created and if her friends could help find better mitigators for the gravity of her situation. :twilightsmile:

ah'm sure ah'll he up fer it.

Wow, for a comedy one-off this sure deals with some heavy stuff. :moustache:

I think its safe to say sge understands the 'Gravity' of her situation.

I'll see myself out.

Login or register to comment