• Member Since 16th May, 2013
  • offline last seen 13 minutes ago

PaulAsaran


Technical Writer from the U.S.A.'s Deep South. Writes horsewords and reviews. New reviews posted every Thursday! Writing Motto: "Go Big or Go Home!"

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Source

All his life, Angel Bunny has been plagued by a single question. At long last, he has an answer, and he longs to reveal it. Doing so may be the single most important thing he's ever done, but Angel doesn't know how to deliver the message. After all, rabbits have no need of writing.

Angel needs to learn. Knowing this task is far too important to let his pride get the better of him, Angel does something he never thought he'd do: ask for help. There's only one pony for the job.


One of the most unique fics I have ever read.PresentPerfect

A hugely welcome addition to the small pile of stories that take Angel's character seriously.Louder Yay

The structural gimmick is both well-used and well-explored.Royal Canterlot Library

A deeply emotional tale, told piece-by-piece through the perspective of someone who desperately wants to say something but is unable to say it.Bad_Seed_72

...unique, endearing, heartwarming, cute, and proved to me you can write Angel Bunny in a way that doesn’t make me want to strangle him. That last part alone is enough for me to think this story is a work of genius.Vertigo22


Preread by Dash the Stampede
Edited by Hopeless Appraisal
Cover art used with permission from WhitediamondsLtd (click image for White's DeviantArt page)

3/29/2015: Now featured on Equestria Daily!
11/28/2015: Now featured in the Royal Canterlot Library!

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 92 )

Wonderful to see it released :D

I think Discord's text works about as well as any - completely random, and usually incoherent. I'm glad I got to help out.

I love this concept. This really makes you wonder just what Angel wants to tell Flutters so bad.
On to read the next chapter then.

This was awesome. Very "out of the box" style. While the colored text may be distracting / irritating to some, I certainly understand why it is essential.

I loved the "Flowers to Algernon" kind of journal story as well. Angel is definitely sapient, and I can only imagine how difficult the parts we don't get to read were if he was that bad at the beginning.

Very impactful. I think you did a great job with this. And I say this as someone who hates angel bunny a lot, you managed to really portray him sympathetically.

5677459
It is, isn't it? May we work together again in the future.

5677561
Yeah, I admit that colors aren't always the best way to go, but I can think of no better way to handle a story written in this particular style. Anyway, glad you enjoyed it.

5677570
"I hate Angel Bunny" is the #2 reason I expect this story to either get a lot of hate or just be ignored, the colors being #1. I'm glad that it was able to reach past your disapproval of him in general.

You never cease to amaze me, Paul. While I wish the first chapter had more than dialogue, the exposition in this chapter is just perfect if not a bit cynical. Thanks for getting me through enrichment period today xD

5677877
You are more than welcome. :rainbowdetermined2:

This was such a good read. It was smart, insightful in many ways, and it applied a beautiful character to one who may have even been hated before. I absolutely LOVE it! :pinkiehappy:

Glad you got this through, I'd have no idea how you'd get the same impact without the colours.

5678481
Many thanks! This story was almost more trouble than it was worth, but I'm glad to see it so well received.

5678489
I had an idea, and it may have worked well, but it would have been absolutely nothing like this.

Wow, that was amazing. Fantastic job once again, Paul. You've got a knack for writing characters that are generally disliked (Angel, Lightning Dust) and making them incredibly loveable characters.

First off, I would have really liked to see more interaction between Angel and Spike; their respective dynamics with their respective ponies would have been an interesting thing to compare and contrast, and what little you gave me left me wanting more.

Second off, the lengthy author's note in between the first and second chapter breaks the flow of the story, and kills the momentum. I don't see any reason why you couldn't just put both the notes after the final chapter.

Third off, I didn't care all that much for your portrayal of Discord. To me, it felt like you were writing him as a male version of Pinkie Pie.

That being said, when you hear back from EQD on Foundations, definitely consider sending this in.

I'm really happy with how this turned out. I always try to cut so much stuff out of your stories in editing (and at least one major plot change per story so far I think), but you always spin it back into a great piece of work that gets to me in the end. Again, thanks so much for sharing!

5679856

For the record, I suck at writing Discord.

In case you missed it.

Seeing your point, I went ahead and moved the original Author's Note to the second chapter. Also, I was aware of the potential between Spike and Angel, but I figured that I'd offered enough and didn't want to really stretch things out longer than I already had. Plus, I could see no way to slip in a final interaction without it feeling forced or, worse, spoiling the contents of the letter.

5679318
Those are my favorite challenges, to be honest.

5679877
*hands a tissue* Thanks. :twilightsmile:

5680438
And thank you for the assistance. The first part of this story was in heavy need of modification, and I knew that well before I asked you to take a look.

Your Discord may have been a little weak, but he wasn't the point of this story, Angel was. And Angel was nothing short of amazing.

5680603

I saw it. Just wanted to let you know why I didn't like your Discord. And I was actually a little surprised at my reaction to Spike. Considering he's one of my least favorite characters. I don't know how you did it, but you made me want more Spike.

5681096
On that note, I'm considering adding to my list of potential stories as sequel where Spike decides to follow in angel's footsteps, if you will. Another one of those 'I may never write it, but the idea's there' kind of things.

This made me nearly tear up a bit.
This is a great story that you've shared with us, thank you.

That made me tear up in a good way. Absolutely amazing concept. I think you did Discord just fine, personally.

Great story, Paul. :twilightsmile:

5682562
That's good to know. Yours is an opinion I highly value.

Wow... just wonderful

p.s.;feels!!!:fluttershysad:

Beautiful story, touching. I really liked your portrayal of Angel, giving him depth without being apologetic. This deserves a lot more recognition.

wonderful story. it's very rare to get to look at Angel as something more than a 1-dimensional pet/sidekick

and though its not as uncommon, I enjoyed the writing of Twilight as an encouraging and patient teacher :twilightsmile:

This is pure brilliancy. (If that's even a word.:facehoof:)

I've just never seen anything even close to similar to this. Angel seems like an interesting person, Spike actually has character depth, it's easy to imagine Twilight teaching Angel, and Discord was awesome. Onwards to the next chapter!

Bittersweet. I like that. Again, magnificent idea and wonderful portrayal of the characters.

Yes. Even Discord. He was random and silly, and his interaction with Angel was very realistic. (And we need more Angel and Spike.)

I loved getting into Angel's thoughts here. I loved seeing them through the lessons, and I loved seeing them in the journal entry he finally writes. The descriptions were so very vivid, and they really drew me into the story. Very well done.

I hate them so much. Even at this age, their cold indifference chills me worse than the lingering talons of death. I wish they were in my place so I could ignore them!
They deserve it, the bastards. All of them. Colorful, smiling bastards.
[...] Being alone in a place so full of life is maddening.

Day after God damned day. All it gets is worse.

To anyone who instantly dislikes this story just because Angel, I would urge you to give it another chance.
This fic, while short, is incredibly well written. Above all, it stirred my emotions in a beautiful way. I'm talking of a "My Little Dashie" feel (before the critics ruined it for you).
Seriously; this a an amazing piece of work. Liked and Faved.

Absolutely beautiful.

I like Angel. I always found him funny, and thought he can be mean, I think Opalescence deserves the hate he gets. This story is a true masterpiece. Thank you for writing it.

Dammit, I failed my perception check! Didn't see does damned onion chopping ninjas sneaking up to me! :raritycry:

In a more serious note, that story was just adorable! Thank you for sharing this gem with us!

5800220

Didn't see does damned onion chopping ninjas sneaking up to me!

I knew hiring them would pay dividends! So expensive, but so worth it.

Glad to see this story getting some love. My feed today showed Badseed giving it a big ol' review. Again, nice work, Paul!

5802095
And it was an overwhelmingly positive one, too! It's good to see it doing so well, especially after how doubtful I was when I first started it.

Beautiful, and so sad, in all the right ways.

Thank you. I am better for having read this.

This was lovely. I'm more of an Angel fan than most (which means "any sort of Angel fan at all", I suppose) so I'm always delighted to find a story that takes him seriously. Probably some people will find the last part on the sappy side. Even if it is, it's wonderful at the same time, so I don't care. I'm still not sure about the coloured text: yes, it's clearly fitting for a "journal" story, but your voices are good enough that I barely needed the colours anyway!

The one thing I didn't really enjoy was the stuff involving Discord "speaking" over others. It's perfectly in character, but it was a real chore to decipher, and I dared not skim that in case something vital lurked within. All I felt when it was over was relief, because I could get back to the rest of the fic. That, as I say, was fantastic. A very satisfying and worthwhile Angel story. :yay:

Well, I was due for a good cry, anyway.

5815245
Your comment on the 'voices' in the first chapter has been echoed by more than a few. While it makes me happy, it also makes me question if the whole battle with the mods over it was even necessary. Oh well, it's over and done. I'm just glad people are enjoying it so much.

5822065 I didn't realise you'd had to fight to get it through. Ah well, it worked out in the end, I guess, and the result was a good story, which is the most important thing.

Beautiful. Absolutely nothing short of beautiful.:twilightsmile:

DF

Love the concept of the story. Love the first chapter. The actual message? Eh . . . Kinda predictable. Still worthwhile, but the main draw was and remains the concept.

Damn that brings the feels.

'I wanted somepony to hold me. I amwas so scared.'
Is that an intentional freudian slip? Given that the letter hints at angel's old age few times.
If so it's a very subtle and beautiful touch to the story, you deserve another cookie dear Sir.

6179630
You are correct. I thought about adding more of those, but decided less is more.

6180066
Oh, I am glad you didn't. That would destroy subtly i think.
It's perfect like this.

I wrote a critique/review of this story; it can be found over here.

Wow . . . I am very sad now. :fluttercry:

Good job.

A very, very interesting and unique concept here. Normally I'm not a fan of formatting tricks in storytelling, but this one worked and didn't feel like it got in the way of the story at all. The message at the end was poignant as well. Great job!

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