• Member Since 5th Dec, 2016
  • offline last seen February 18th

Anon A Mous


T

Hearts and Hooves Day. Anon wants a pizza; Cadance wants to find him a marefriend. Only one of them is going to get what they want today.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 76 )

Those puns at the end. *Head on desk* (repeatedly)

“I am here to find you’re mare!”

Found a thing.

Funny stuff, welcome back. :twilightsmile:

>who's thighs
Wrong homophone, that means "who is". For ownership, you want "whose"

Also this Anon is so on point.

Oh this was a barrel of fun with cadenza with a hat.

Cheesus Crust’s,

Our lord and saviour!

Love the Green eggs and ham thing.

ChappedPenguinLips
Story Approver

Hey.

Fuck you.

Oh seriously my review now...
Honestly? I'm jealous... I couldn't write something this funny even if I tried!

“I do not want you to find me a mare.

“I do not want them young or old—I do not want them warm or cold.

“I do not want them with some tuft—I do not want them kinda rough.

“I do not want them big or small—I do not want them short or tall.

“I do not want them in two’s or three’s—I do not want them, can’t you see?

“I do not want to with a fox—I do not want to with some hawks.

“I do not want to with a pug—I do not want to with some thugs.

“I do not want to in your throat—I do not want to make you bloat.

“I do not want to with some hooch—I do not want to get some cooch.

“I do not want to fast and hot—I do not want to in your plot.

“I do not want your help today—so kindly fuck off and go away!”

Somewhere, Dr. Suess is laughing his ass off. He'd be so proud of you.

Bow down to Anon a Mous!
for this story is Fabolous!

Side note this is literally the only Anon Story I've ever read

Loved it. 10/10, would Seuss agin. Well done!

The Chapter name alone got a thumbs up. This is some C O M E D Y G O L D

Is that chapter title....a No More Heroes reference?


I approve.

I half expected that OC Peetzer Pony to pop out of one of the boxes at the end, but that would probably be too obvious... the twist we actually got was even better. Great work!

those… those are fucking edible panties.

Oh, Chesus Crust, I need a full story on this.

I love it!

Doesn't need to be marked as mature though, Teen would suffice...

Everything about this was pure gold. 15/10.

You are Anon.

No, I'm Griseus.

Bug Horse is best waifu

Fun stuff, this.

Have a fave, why don't you?

The seuss is strong with this one lol

The joy quickly turns to horror as you unceremoniously dropkick Fluttershy through the air. She sails off through the air, barely clearing the top of the trees before she disappears from view. Cadance yelps before taking off, hurriedly following after Fluttershy.

Oh no, poor Anon. He's getting so screwed by Discord latter.

That ending though, didn't expect that :rainbowlaugh:

I love fics like this. Whatever has you down stands no chance against the humor.

May your stories find you fame and glory dear author.

I find it funny that she's all about love and wanting to gap that bridge between species yet her husband is a pony, got married in a pony city and did not invite any non-pony guests, and now rules a city populated solely by ponies in an area that is simply too damn cold to get to.

Your house is enchanted so that not even the alicorns can get in without your permission (annoying as she might be, Luna’s still a bro for that).

Another reason Luna is best Alicorn.

Any way you slice it, this was a good story.

Was expecting him to hook up with the pimply pizza mare, but surprise Chrysalis at the end totally worked. Good call on keeping her out of the story tags. It would have spoiled the ending if we'd known she was in it.

9461700
I think it might be a referance to a pic. lemme see if i can find it

I'm dying from laughter, it's so good.

The joy quickly turns to horror as you unceremoniously dropkick Fluttershy through the air. She sails off through the air, barely clearing the top of the trees before she disappears from view. Cadance yelps before taking off, hurriedly following after Fluttershy.

IT'S GOOOOOOOD!!!
Candance is so adorable in this story! At least they both got what they wanted, right? Anyway, you did great!

This was absolutely glorious. Nice going!

Teen Titans did it better :p

Extra Seuss for that loose pony-goose!

9458840
Yeah, proud and ashamed. Was starting to get worried about Anon when he passed on sex with Cadance, but with Chrysalis at home, I now see why! Good man!:moustache:

Another funny and great story!

Simultaneously the best and worst thing I've read all week.

Cadance has the largest shit-eating grin on her face right now. You can see hearts in her eyes, even as she scrunches her face up with joy.

I can see this picture clearly in my head.

I loved this. I loved this more than I can express.

This gave me some weird nostalgia while reading this, huh

I'm not gonna say anything Mous. You know what you did、 and I am willing to keep it between just you and me. And the other 3000+ people who read this. It'll be our little secret.:raritywink:

Comedy Gold, 9/11 👍

Glad it's not some REGR shit. It was fun to read. 👍

Boy. Someone really did not like this story. Not satisfied with just downvoting it, they then went on to downvote everyone saying they liked it. That may just be funnier than the story was, albeit in a much sadder fashion.


9477364
It's not what?

The way Cadence is singing, it's fucking Green Eggs and Ham but Cadenza-fied.

I absolutely love it.

9461400
Pizza in a dash, written on a cardboard box -> my mind jumped to MLD.

9460217
Anon!
Dissy! Whazzup?
What's up? You kicked Fluttershy!
Okay, yeah, that was probably unnecessary. But love horse decided to get her involved in one of her schemes, and she'd already been bothering me for an hour before then. I snapped.
You poor thing.

"Green eggs and ham"? Anyone?

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