I am Crystal Static. I usually read upwards of one-hundred-thousand words a day, and I enjoy a fairly diverse assortment of genres. I experience at least one minor existential dilemma every month or so. My moral alignment is a steady Lawful Evil, I am an asshole, my sense of humor was born in the internet, I talk way too much sometimes, I consider normal to be overrated, I am an existential nihilist, I am also a dedicated humanist, my insomnia keeps me up at night, I figured out the meaning of life at age 14, even I have a hard time comprehending my romantic and sexual preferences, my favorite pony is Twilight Sparkle, Luna is best princess (excluding Twilight of course), changelings are awesome.

I am a practicing chaos sorceror. Yes, magick is real. No I'm not crazy, I've actually gotten results in my practice. No, chaos practitioner of magick doesn't mean like Discord. What makes a chaos practitioner different from other practitioners is the mentality behind their practice. Magick is magick, there are no different types of magick, just different styles and mentalities behind the practice of it. I may be open to teaching - or performing a working for - you, just ask if you are interested.

Honestly, I'm an asshole, but I'm pretty reliable when you need someone to tell it to you straight without any bullshit or attempts to ease the blow as it were. If you're being a fuckup, I'll tell you as such. If you aren't quite sure that those pants make your ass look fat, I'll tell you that those pants make your ass look enormous (or not if they actually are nice).

I am the owner of the group 'Nudists and Nudity', which I was inspired to create after reading It's Just Anatomy by eLLen.

I also am the owner of the group 'Changeling Cuddlers', which I created because I could... I really need to try to bring that group back to life...

Midnight Sonare is my go-to cover art guy, he is awesome and you should check out his DeviantArt page.

10/10/10-5/10/2014 -- Never forget

Updated 6/21/2017