• Member Since 17th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago


Hello, there. Who me? You really think I have something interesting to say? Okay, but I'll have to warn you, things may get a little weird...


I used to be a human, but then I pissed off a wizard. Now I'm stuck in "Ponyville", in a land called "Equestria", and with no apparent way back home. I'm also pretty sure that I've just replaced somepony. I'd rather not have to answer any tricky questions, so I'm better off trying to be this unicorn whose name has been forced onto me.

My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I'm not a pony.

[Rated Teen for extensive use of vulgar language and sexual references.]

[Cover art made by richhap on deviant art. Unamused Twilight, go figure.]

[Brybrythesciguy is working on a cool audiobook of this story right HERE. The characters' voices are even simulated with an AI! I definitely recommend giving it a listen!]

Chapters (50)
Comments ( 3001 )

Looks like you have a subtle divergence fic here. You've avoided the compete asshole protagonist that needs to be redeemed by ponies, but the all-important first encounters are still botched in more indirect ways than simply repulsing the rest of the six. I also really enjoyed the wizard taunting.

5193005 I'm glad you liked it/parts of it. Thanks for the comment!

This goddamn unicorn carried me in her magic all the way to her gaudy house. She couldn't have just let me walk, no. I already hate unicorns, and their freaking magic.

I assume i would feel the same way.

To be honest, i wasn´t sure if i would like it this way, with him being Twilight and wanting to act as Twilight without being known as the Human, but i have to say i really start to like the new Twilight.

I think i would like a romance tag too, just to allow some sort of relationship, but for know i just wait for the next chapter. The story got my interest.:raritystarry:

5196141 Thanks for the comment! I glad you tried out my story, and even happier that you like it enough to continue reading!

About that romance tag: I'm on the fence. For one thing, I don't know how well I could write romance. Mostly though, I have some story reasons why that probably won't happen. You never know, though. Sometimes my characters break free from my creative control and do their own thing, so the coin's in the air, so to speak.

meh, retelling an already weak plot.

sorry i think i forgot my like the last time:scootangel:
I really like him, it would have made my day if he had woke up beside Rainbow Dash or Vinyl Scratch or someone like them, with a heavy hangover. Then Spike comes inside, schocked to see her like this and Vinyl would take it way to easy probably, or awkward moment with Rainbow Dash after she woke up.:pinkiehappy:

I want to be honest, i love him and i like the idea with him and Rainbow Dash becoming best friends if this maybe continue like in this chapter. I mean i liked that she was the only one laughing as Twilight attacked the manticor.

I think he should continue his behavior, i liked Applejack as well in this chapter. I don´t remember right now which personality you gave him (maybe i mix it up with another fanfiction similar to this), but he could start to manipulate in a harmless way. I mean it like this, Fluttershy is very kind and he take light advantage of it. I am not sure about my idea with Fluttershy if i am honest but i iked what you did there.

5202446 wrote : "About that romance tag: I'm on the fence. For one thing, I don't know how well I could write romance."

Forget about romance.

Just have her get laid with some pretty mares.

Oh and see if you can get her some pot and beer too as well.

"Twilight" sure is bad at her job, and it's wonderful. Although notoriously difficult to write, it would be hilarious if she managed to bluff her way through the entire story with nothing but quick-thinking and dollar-store card tricks.

The "I'm a unicorn punchline!?" worked spectacularly well: "Twilight" had been somewhat smug about not needing several hours to notice the body was a mare's yet missed something almost as obvious.

At the same time I have to question the bond between the mane six at this point. I can get how "Twilight" came to admire these mares and want them as friends, but it seems like the reverse would be tempered by "Twilight's" mistakes thus far.

As such, I think it would be a mistake to attempt to retell "Ticketmaster" at this point.

In any case, I can't wait to see the friendship reports from this Twilight.

5218699 You know, when you mentioned the Hangover Scene, I started to plan it out before I realized that I wasn't actually gonna write it. I like your idea, is what I'm getting at.:pinkiehappy:

5221938 :rainbowlaugh: Okay, I'll see what I can do.

5222779 Yeah, I'd like to see a Human in Disguise story where that happens. The only reason I'm not writing that is because that's not the kind of story I'm writing.

As for the Mane 6 not being best friends with "Twilight", well, you're absolutely right. "Twilight" did a few questionable things (the manticore, most notably), so the others aren't exactly all that trusting of him/her just yet. They'll most likely warm up to him as we go along, but for now, "Twilight" is just that crude eccentric with which they saved the world, which is enough of a basis of friendship for them. If it worked for Rarity and Rainbow, it should work here.

What friendship reports?:derpytongue2:

5226410 Sorry buddy, but I've become hot property for employers all of a sudden. I'm not so busy to warrant a hiatus, but I'm gonna miss this week's update.

5229043 Well thank you, i guess i have my moment´s:derpytongue2:
romance or not, i think i would prefer him to have sex with a mare or one of the main six if you plan do to it. Well you have the sex tag, so there are probaby at least hints. I really don´t know why, but suddenly i really like the idea of him having a poison joke accident and having some fun with Zecora.

Actually i didn´t wanted to talk about the sex tag, but i got distracted and just keep saying stuff which could be a good idea or not.
Him having weird sex encounter, where he maybe don´t even remember much could be something like a joke for the whole story, but i don´t know what would be better.


Take your time, i rather read a good chapter than a rushed one.
I hope you don´t change them or at least him to much, i like his personality at the moment and how he reacted to the problems in the last chapter.:pinkiehappy:


What friendship reports?:derpytongue2:

Well, it looks like "Twilight"'s going back to magic kindergarten after all.

I also can't help but picture Celestia breaking down about her favourite student no longer liking her and pestering random nobles with her new-found insecurities.

We also need a better non-canon nickname than "Twilight".

5231810 Hmm... Faux-Light? Guy-Light?

:pinkiegasp: Gasp! I got it!

Tom! :raritydespair:

I like that chapter and i am glad for it, i hope it is a long story, at least not to short.
I just started to read and then i was already done with it.:fluttercry:

I always have to take a minute to remember everythign what happend, in this story and i think i do, but why is Fluttershy scared of him?
Was it the moment he was fighting against the manticore? I think i could at least understand why she would take this as a reason to be scared of her. Fluttershy is probably thinkin that she is a mean pony, because she was hurting an "harmless" Animal, and because of that she is scary.

Applejac really don´t like her/him huh?:trollestia: I like that, i think it would be maybe not that interessting if he would like everyone.
For a minute i thought Rainbow was into Twilight, because she was a bit different, but then i remembered you are still not sure if this should be a romance.

If i am wrong you can tell me, but i think i got at least that right. Well however, i bet Rainbow is a bit mad right now. I like your main six, good work.:heart:

i am loving this story. i am curious do you plan to rewrite all four seasons and both movies with this human trapped in Twilights body? if so i can't wait til your next chapters.

A solid effort. You proved you can write entertaining dialogue.

Someday Rainbow Dash will tell her grandfoals about the moment when she unknowingly turned down rule of Equestria.

I also realized that if the Twilight Clone (nickname pending) keeps up this anti-magic attitude, she may need to lure Trixie into some other competition instead. A hot-dog eating contest? A dance-off? Chess-boxing?

5278224 Well, I already know how far ahead I plan to take the story, even if some of the details are sketchy. All I am at liberty to say is that I don't have the Equestria Girls movies in mind. Maybe I'll have a spin-off sequel with the events of those movies, but I can't promise you that.

"So you're gonna tell us about yourself for real, now?"

Maybe Twilight could reveal that she's a fillyfooler(lesbian) now.

Then Applejack could point her in the way of Lyra and Bon Bon.

Cue a threesome.^_^

You've done a great job incorporating the story's divergences into the plot in a way that preserves its believability as an episode of the show.

*Looks around* Am I in the right comments section?

That was not my favourite episode, but i like what you did with it.
I hope you don´t change Twilight´s personality to much in a different direction.

I can understand Applejack as she talked abot her not talking about herself, in the same times i think it is not as bad that Twilight tricked Rarity into asking Rainbow Dash about the dresses. I am not able to see it this early in the morning, but i don´t get what was so bad at that, i think that is a part of her personality they could live with if they know about it. I guess i just try to make sure that the most part of her personality don´t dissapeared, but i know that would make no sense and she still act how she is acting right now more or less.

5309148 Thanks! And yes, I think you are.
5310599 What I think was bad about that was how Applejack and Rainbow both feel about dresses. They both have more tomboyish interests that have no place for such girly things. Now, Applejack only sees how Twilight made Rarity pester Rainbow about a topic she thinks poorly of. Considering that was a misdirection from one pony to another, Applejack saw it as a cowardly act. That's where the major contention arises, and it doesn't help in the slightest with her perception of Twilight as a liar and a cheat.

5312202 well okay, i understand your point but i still could not be mad with Twilight just because of the dress thing i guess.

I suppose when you just gained a reputation as being the embodiments of friendship, little things like that will seem much worse. It's probably the only reason "Twilight" thought twice about what she did.

5315721 i have to thing about one Piece if i see your Avatar, is it a real character?

It sounds like it could be really the reason, but i really think i could not be mad with her about it, maybe if i would be in Rainbows position.

My avatar and account name are from Kaiji

The creator is known as having one of the ugliest art styles in anime and manga, but it fits since his themes are anything but pretty.

I would be with you if it were Fluttershy or Pinkie Pie giving him a hard time over it, but Applejack was already looking for reasons to dislike "Twilight". I was more surprised "Twilight" herself felt bad about it.

Good chapter again, i only start to wonder, why Spike is still hiding the bowl with his gems, if Twilight didn´t said anything till now.
Well maybe Spike still thinks, that Twilight haven´t noticed till now.

5330057 He'll figure it out. Sometime.

This Twilight is much more interesting. Now she have reason to learn pony`s martial arts.

Twilight vs Gilda round 1 fight

wrestling, calling her a bitch, physical duel, magic duel but proceed to wtf pwn trixie.

Why do I have a feeling pinkie knows?

Why do unicorns forget they can just use telekinesis? Could've used it on gilda to make her not able to move then POW.

nice chapter, i am glad to see that she isn´t going to be the nice lady just because He/her had a talk with Applejack.
At first i wanted to ask why no one wanted to know why she was fighting suddenly, but i remember they don´t know how she usually would be.
I know that doesn´t have to mean that he is returning into his own Body, but if you really want to do ths, maybe the magic he is starting to learn would give him an own Body in the end if the spell goes wrong or something like that. That would maybe allow a romance sequel or something like that, because if i remember it right, you didn´t wanted him to have a romance partner yet.
Just a suggestion because i don´t like it if friends have to leave forever in animes, i mean if they discover a different world and at the end they don´t even remember the other world or something like that. I just like them to be able to meet each other, but then i got a different idea here.

5358229 I actually somehow liked it that she didn´t actually tried to win with Magic.

5361416 Don't worry too much about it. This is neither a tragedy or a sad fic; this is a comedy. I might add a Dark tag, but never will I add the sad tag. One way or another, everyone will be smiling in the end. :pinkiehappy:

This is a realistic issue with a male human in Equestria: it'd take a prey animal like Gilda to rival our penchant for violence.

This could also apply to the incident in the Everfree. The ponies were all for teaming up to protecting themselves, but only "Twilight" responded, "Enemy! Kill it!"

How you handle the issue of what happened to the real Twilight could make or break this story. It's always the elephant in the room with these types of stories. Unless you avoid it altogether with a twist that makes him the real Twilight all along.

Even if you think that idea ridiculous, you probably shouldn't deny and declaw our expectations of one of the lesser used twists. After all, there aren't a lot of outcomes with these types of stories: you pretty much have body-swap with Twilight, possession of Twilight, death of the original Twilight and there never was a real Twilight.

5368073 Male.

Ahaha... in all seriousness, I doubt it. That sex tag is just kind of there for a masturbation joke I already used. Though, since it's there... :trollestia:

Twilight you might need anger management training and probably sword wielding practice (also good chapter so far)

This will be entertaining as how this guy does and does not botched things up.

As I fell to my death, I made sure to keep myself as dignified as possible. My friends would remember me as the one who fell to her death with the strength of character to take it in stride.

I most certainly did not scream "OH SHIIIIIIIIIT!" as I fell. No sir.


Don't worry dude, your man card is still safe. :derpytongue2:

I'm waiting on Pinkie, that 4th wall breaking mare will find out at some point

To answer the A/N question. BOTH! :trollestia:

But is Twiliclone writing the friendship reports.

5358212 because it's PINKIE :pinkiecrazy:

And seriously, why relate the Power Ponies to the Power Rangers. they don't use HUGE mechs. the Power Ponies are the Justice League.

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