• Member Since 4th May, 2017
  • offline last seen 7 minutes ago

Cackling Moron


"Fluff" in the same way what collects under the sofa is fluff.

T

Starlight is out for a walk, and while out for a walk comes across the local human, who had recently gone missing. He's picked up at least one bad habit.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 39 )

Is this fic somehow related to your previous ones?

Now, I'm really curious as to how long can they keep Twilight from finding out he's there. :rainbowlaugh:

9462170

Now, I'm really curious as to how long can they keep Twilight from finding out he's there. :rainbowlaugh:

With apologies to Jack Prelutsky, whose poem, An Elephant is Hard to Hide, I have shamelessly nicked adapted:

A human being is hard to hide,
he's rather tall, and fairly wide,
he occupies a lot of space,
you can't just hide him anyplace.

It's quite an unrewarding chore
to try and cram him in a drawer,
a closet's somewhat better, but
you're apt to find the door won't shut.

A human being beneath your bed
will manifest both foot and head,
and in the tub, there's little doubt
that he will soon be singled out.

A human being won't simply sit,
he tends to move about a bit,
This trait, when coupled with his size
makes him a nightmare to disguise.

A human being, if kept around
Is almost certain to be found,
the Princess may suspect one's near
when pastries start to disappear.

A human being is hard to hide,
I know it's so, because I've tried,
Twilight should detect mine soon...
I brought him home this afternoon.
:moustache:

Andy couldn’t argue with that, so waited.

So he waited

How’s my oozing gash looking?

I like where this is going.

Can I say it? I'll say it.

DAAAAAwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.......*wheeze*gasp*hack*cough*

“I do not think it means what you think it means,” Andy said, in a voice that was entirely unlike his normal one. Starlight blinked.

He finished the reference! HA!

Starlight: "Twilight, a stray animal followed me home. Can I keep it?"

9462451 What? What was that a reference to?

Usually I’m not a fan of the HiE genre, but I like how Starlight was portrayed. Thanks!

9462654
Its in reference to "The Princess Bride". Good movie, lots of adventure, swashbuckling, villainy. All that good stuff. You can skip the mushy stuff if you like.

Thanks a lot for getting Phil Collins stuck in my head.

I would very much like more of this.

9462802
Though my heart might tell me so

This actually confused me. I thought it was the beefy boi story at first,

9463472
I know, right? I got a couple things I incorporate into this stuff and I'm like a dog with a fucking bone - I ain't letting go!

The ones with Jack the unusually naked guy are, uh, gestating. Like the Heart of Darkness.

He was either deliberately missing the point or was just generally dense.

Yes. His self-righteous posturing about being so near help and refusing it made him an annoying character I wish had actually been eaten by the wolves, especially for use in a one-shot story that spends so long just getting the human to follow Starlight. It does not feel complete, more like an in media res introduction to a larger story. Also is he really going to go more nights with an open wound after dumpster diving without even a bandage...?

I'm interested in a continuation should you decide to. :twilightsmile:

God-damn you for giving me the narrative equivalent of blue balls.
;)
"Story Complete", my ass.

This was a successful elevator pitch, not a story.

9463530
He's actually dying of septicemia the whole time. Which wouldn't be a surprise...

9462090

Some people just enjoy writing the same exact concept six times.

9464539
Or sixteen-odd times, either way.

9462802
I mean seriously, I'd really like it to stop now.

9464284

Luckily for him the continued opportunities to thwart senseless acts of kindness in regards to himself are keeping him healthy enough to live on. Besides, tis' but a scratch. He's had worse.

...although, if the doctor tempts him with a nice lolly, he's doomed! :pinkiegasp:

Great read! Would like to see more! :twilightsmile:

You made me like Starlight, this is unforgivable.

As recompense I demand moar :raritywink:

I think it's great how a former creepy cult leader is now the most adorable thing.

9463530

self-righteous posturing about being so near help and refusing it

This is a fairly common 'trait' of the many random people that get dumped into horsland. And it makes no sense to me whatsoever.

9468277
I always pictured it as a blend of being overwhelmed at having been dumped in such an odd place crossing with the inescapable impression that they've become a burden and all the cheerful locals are helping only on sufferance, but I'd likely be biased.

He is a bit of a prick, to be fair.

9468288
Tbh, if I ended up somewhere weird where nothing was familiar to the point it was overwhelming, and folk there were willing to spend the time and effort to not only set me up with somewhere to live, but teach me what I needed to get by, I'd be over the moon.
Having someone throw all that back in the faces of those offering help, is honestly beyond rude.

He is a bit of a prick, to be fair.

That is more-or-less the conclusion I draw from this behaviour, whether the author intends it or not.

but I'd likely be biased

Maybe we're all biased by our respective cultures and/or values?

I saw it as he simply cracked, and his brain went FWEEEEP.

Nicely done.
I'll keep an eye on this one.

9468334
Urgh... thing is, I can completely understand his reaction. The absolute level of soul-crushing guilt and anxiety that I'd be feeling in such a situation would just be eating me inside-out. I couldn't accept anything like this just out of hand, I'd need to do things to make up for it, or I'd be falling apart all over the place and feeling utterly, abysmally awful.

9494271
I'd feel the exact same way. Even more so if I'm told that I don't need to repay them for their help and kindness. I'd feel like my soul and physical being were being crushed and torn and would be almost close to feeling depressed if I was unable to repay them. Any form of help to them would give me peace of mind.

better rested, better fed, lesser men fleeing.

Greater men?

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