Featured In9

  • ...

Anon's dead, apparently, and Death has come to claim his soul. There's just one problem: he doesn't want to go. And there's nothing Death can do to make him.

First Published
8th Dec 2016
Last Modified
8th Dec 2016
#1 · 19w, 6d ago · 39 · · ...But I Hide ·

Dog-gamn it, Priest! Do you see what you're encouraging?

"Can I reap her?"

I died a bit at that part...still no death pony

hmm Anon and Death, working together the awesome dream team no one asked for!

#3 · 19w, 6d ago · 60 · · ...But I Hide ·

After all, you’ve never ridden bareback on a hearse before.

Oh, you fucking Monster.

Ha ha ha:rainbowlaugh: im laughing my ass of this was great.

That fucking pun...

#6 · 19w, 6d ago · 14 · · ...But I Hide ·

This was hilarious.

Why tho, did he STICK HIS HAND IN HER-

Technical difficulties, please stand by.

#7 · 19w, 6d ago · 24 · · ...But I Hide ·

“Here it is,” she says suddenly, tapping the entry. “Anon A. Mous. Died today at eight-thirty in the morning.” She pauses, any eyebrow raising. “Slipped on your own semen after masturbating and hit your head on the tub?”

Sounds about right :rainbowlaugh:

AND HOLY CHRIST! I am crying right now this was hilarious, my stomach hurts and I think I woke up my family laughing XD

Please... oh please let there be an adventures of Anon and Death, that would be hilarious.

I love it!

#8 · 19w, 6d ago · 14 · · ...But I Hide ·

Welcome to Fimfiction Anon.

#9 · 19w, 6d ago · 40 · · ...But I Hide ·

Member Since 5th Dec, 2016

After all, you’ve never ridden bareback on a hearse before

Seriously, I bet you wrote this and registered on FIMfiction just to publish that pun! :pinkiehappy:

Great fun story! Also, impressive to get featured on your first story!

>>7779425 Well it is a good pun.

#11 · 19w, 6d ago · 71 · · ...But I Hide ·

I kind of want them to become begrudging friends.  Death does the reaping and straight mare while Anon tells her where notable landmarks are at and does jokes.  Of course, eventually they would of course grow into more after weeks of being stuck with each other.  Then after a month or two, Death could propose an idea.  Anon distracts them, maybe makes them laugh, then Death swings.  Of course, she will also be trying to reap him every time, but it's the thing she does.  After a few centuries they could make it official practice, and boom, buddy cop romance story.

#12 · 19w, 6d ago · 13 · · ...But I Hide ·

Aw its over.

#13 · 19w, 6d ago · 9 · · ...But I Hide ·

This was the best kind of stupid, thanks for that :rainbowlaugh:

#14 · 19w, 6d ago · 13 · · ...But I Hide ·

Best Fic: 2016, right here.

So thanks for that.

#15 · 19w, 6d ago · 25 · 2 · ...But I Hide ·

i suggest a continuation of this where it becomes a chapter story wear  death starts  falls for anon  would be hilarious especially if eventually it becomes mutual

#16 · 19w, 6d ago · 30 · · ...But I Hide ·

Can you possibly, maybe, hopefully write more?

#17 · 19w, 6d ago · 5 · · ...But I Hide ·

That cover is so cute :heart: And that ending, though. :rainbowlaugh:

#18 · 19w, 6d ago · 12 · · ...But I Hide ·

Please continue this, please, oh please. Your writing style is so fluent and I just had this dumb smile on my face the whole time while reading this; it was great. :rainbowwild: :pinkiehappy:

#19 · 19w, 6d ago · 15 · · ...But I Hide ·


#20 · 19w, 6d ago · 7 · · ...But I Hide ·

I agree with the over all sentiment that there needs to be more to this story. A sequel at least. :D

#21 · 19w, 6d ago · 11 · · ...But I Hide ·

This, I must say, is one of my favorite Anon in Equestria fics ever, and I've been here for awhile. Here's to hoping this gets a sequel. And that she has an annoying younger sibling brother named Life who is convinced that the reason she didn't kill Anon was because she's a tsundere and likes him. "Admit it, sis. You LOVE that he willingly rides you."

It's an old idea, but a fun one.

Oh, and here's the perfect theme for this fic:

#22 · 19w, 6d ago · 18 · · ...But I Hide ·

This is cute and funny, please make sequels.

#23 · 19w, 6d ago · 7 · · ...But I Hide ·

“Now do you know who I am?” she asks.

My first guess was batmare. My second was Darkwing Duck.

I'll admit, I liked this a lot more than more Random Anon story. A lot more characterization and natural humour more than just a collection of jokes forced into one story. I do wonder how this is gonna end though. Since he's technically dead (if unreaped), will he still need to eat? If not, he could cling to her forever!

#24 · 19w, 6d ago · 46 · · ...But I Hide ·

A...a hearse.

Just... just die.

Go to the lowest point in the Marianas Trench, dig deeper, and die there.



#25 · 19w, 6d ago · 13 · · ...But I Hide ·

A follow up is needed for this story, damn :pinkiegasp:

#26 · 19w, 6d ago · 27 · · ...But I Hide ·

So, is he keeping his arm in her so she can't teleport away? If he stays stuck on/in her all this time his arm's gonna get all... pruny.

>>7779440 No argument, there!

#28 · 19w, 6d ago · 2 · · ...But I Hide ·

>>7779549 Considering how lonely a profession Death Pony might be, it is quite possible. Flutters is not gonna like it though, I bet she's gonna try to come between them :flutterrage:. Hilariousness would ensue. :pinkiehappy:

#29 · 19w, 6d ago · 5 · · ...But I Hide ·

After all, you’ve never ridden bareback on a hearse before.


#30 · 19w, 6d ago · 2 · · ...But I Hide ·

Not bad! But I did notice a typo:

“Still your tongue, naive,”

I think you mean "knave", not "naive". Similar pronunciation, very different meanings.

This is AWESOME you need to write more.

Not necessarily on this story but in general.

#32 · 19w, 6d ago · 30 · · ...But I Hide ·

“Ha! You’re talking to the guy that’s been systematically going through Twilight’s entire library collection and whiting-out the words of her books, one page a day. I’ve completely erased nearly forty books and she hasn’t noticed yet.”

Anon is going to wish for Death to save him when Twilight finds out.

And Death will look down and whisper,


#33 · 19w, 6d ago · 6 · · ...But I Hide ·

awww, its a shame the reaper mare didn't get a good groping by Anon while he was in there..:heart::trollestia:

Comment posted by Echos of a Dream deleted at 7:31pm on the 8th of December, 2016
#35 · 19w, 6d ago · 1 · 4 · ...But I Hide ·

Nice greentext rip m8

#36 · 19w, 6d ago · 8 · · ...But I Hide ·

“Still your tongue, naive,”

It's, "knave."

“Look, I’ll cut you a deal,” you say. “You see, there are these three fillies that—”

That made me smile way more than I should have. Classic anon to try to bargain off the lives of children for his own survival.

This was a REALLY good one shot and is certainly worthy of the featured box. This is much better then many of those EqG stories that over-saturate it. Sunset Shimmer is a decent character but my god.

Story Approver
#38 · 19w, 6d ago · 31 · · ...But I Hide ·

Did you set this whole thing up for that line?


This is the best possible idea for a sequel. But Anon clearly needs a pun of equal value to the hearse in order for him to have the proper motivation.

#41 · 19w, 6d ago · 1 · · ...But I Hide ·

>>7780435 First copy the address to the video you want to show. Then press the button right above where you write your comment that has the youtube logo. Paste the address into the URL bar it provides, and then hit add video.

Comment posted by Advent Link deleted at 8:23pm on the 8th of December, 2016

>>7780430 I got nothing.  Drat.

#44 · 19w, 6d ago · 2 · 1 · ...But I Hide ·

>>7780391 Actually, if you look at the pastebin account associated with this account, you'll see the original greentext was his/her's.

#45 · 19w, 6d ago · 3 · · ...But I Hide ·

>>7780451 I can think of plenty of innuendos. Knockin' on heaven's door, rolling in the grave, bone rattling, but puns I haven't...wait...Carcass. There you go.

>>7780465 thanks for the help.:twilightsmile:

#47 · 19w, 6d ago · 1 · · ...But I Hide ·

>>7780356 Well, no.

Knave is pronounced "neigh-v"

Naive is pronounced  "n-eye-eve"

kek im a grammar nazi

#48 · 19w, 6d ago · 1 · · ...But I Hide ·


#49 · 19w, 6d ago · 1 · · ...But I Hide ·

I cried tears of joy.

>>7780674 Wouldn't you be a pronunciation nazi?

Login or register to comment