• Member Since 14th Aug, 2014
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

CategoricalGrant


The undisputed master of pony snuggles, political satire and generalized self-loathing.


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The Princesses have invited you to Canterlot to spend some time with them before the big holiday of Hearth's Warming Eve. You have enjoyed your time, but it really is time to be getting back to Ponyville. Then again, what sort of hosts would Celestia and Luna be if they let you, the only human in Equestria, just LEAVE in this cold weather!?

The first story of my December Christmas Carol writing project: this fanfiction is based off of the carol 'Baby, it's Cold Outside!'

Cover art by Probablydnon.

EDIT: Featured 12/4/17!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 50 )

Nice little fic, I quite enjoyed it. You stayed well tuned to the story, though after the drug, shouldn't he(I) have a bit more adverse reaction to it? The thing is literally made to put people to sleep, and the character just brushes it off. A small thing that bugs me, but it does deserve to be mentioned. Otherwise, excellently well written.

8590133
She doesn’t actually drug you- it was a joke I made about the creepy line in the song :P

8590141
It's not a creepy line, and you don't understand the song at all. It was written in the '40s. "What's in this drink?" is an excuse to use the alcohol for staying. See this and this and this

8590129
No clue why this comment got downvoted. That was pretty funny.

I would have stayed whether I would've missed the train or not! :pinkiesmile:

Also, that pic is both adorable and scary.:pinkiegasp:

You take a hearty swig of the drink Celestia poured for you, ignoring her entreaty; it tastes excellent but the flavor is overpowering. Intoxicating, even. “Say, what’s in this drink?”

*Checks the link*
:pinkiegasp: No! Bad Celestia! Bad!

This was funny

D'aww, that was actually adorable, drink line or not. Love how you stuck to the song lyrics and everything. And princess cuddles are best cuddles! :heart:

Man that song is all I could think about when reading this. It really is catchy.

when cuddly princesses become your waifu. WHY CANT THEY BE REAL

8591227

WHY CANT THEY BE REAL

This quote screeches through my brain at all times

8591242
Being a Brony! It's the life I want to live! Watch soft pink ponies and read about shipping this is the life for meeeeee!

*Song ends* Well... I just broke into song!

8590129

This song joke was one of my favorite Key and Peele skits, too.

ironically, it really is cold here right now. And, not a bad idea,

Yeah, merry Christmas to you too:facehoof:

8591227
WHY CANT THEY BE REAL!!

That's me with POkemon, Naruto, and MLP. Especially MLP.

Flunitrazepam...Celestia knows her chems I'll give her that...but she should try Ketamine mixed with Diazepam for a faster result.

OH for lordy be sake! The Lyrics about the drink isn't about date rape. Back then it was a major joke about how the drinks had either drugs or a shit ton of alcohol in it. She's not worried about the guy raping her, she's more worried about the rumor mill after the one night stand.


But was an amazing read.

8592046
I know, I know! It was some humor about an (somewhat) innocent line that sounds bad to modern audiences. :P

Uh, yeah, I would have stayed the night in the magnificent marble palace of soft giant beds and really expensive free drinks, actually.

8592094
Excuse me sir, this is a W H O L E S O M E pony fic
:scootangel:

8592059
Ahhh Okay couldn't tell haha.

Mildly interesting factoid
When I was a kid, (1950s & 60s) my mother was a big Nat King Cole fan. She had some version of this song that she played all the time & I'd have sworn it was him. Apparently not. :applecry:

However, he does have an especially annoying version of "Frosty of the Snowman"
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=nat+king+cole+songs+frosty++the+snowman&&view=detail&mid=3DB341A1C792BADE33993DB341A1C792BADE3399&FORM=VRDGAR :pinkiesick:

I was humming the song the entire time. Wonderful story! ♥

This story warms my cold mechanical heart that I never asked for.

8592473
It's a quarter to midnight, my nose is bleeding, and this is the first comment I see when I scroll down. I wasn't prepared for this.

You know, this reminds me of a dream I had a while back. I don't remember all the specifics, but I remember I was somewhere and, for some reason, there were two former classmates there(I'd say it was because of recently being at a class reunion). But, I was walking and seen a Christmas-themed, decent-sized(you could use it like a small pillow) Celestia plushie. I waved my hand at it and said, "Meh." A little ways later, there was a Luna plushie, similar size and same theme. I screamed, "Princess Lulu!"(I think) I then leapt at it and snuggled it, rubbing my head against the cutie mark. After just a short time, a voice sad, "How would you like the real one?"(or at least something to that effect). I look, and there is Luna, wearing socks and smiling at me. The dream ended with me and Luna snuggling.
what makes that dream strange is that I had always admired Celestia more and had always thought that, if I ended up in Equestria and started dating one of the princesses, it would be Twilight. Then Celestia was the second most likely of the princesses.

8593047
Lulu is everypony's favorite pony to snuggle...even if they don't know it o.O

Reminds me of a certain episode of southpark...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4yD13EV3Wc

Was listening to that song recently and for the first time I actually considered the lyrics... who thought that song was a good idea?

8593441
Actually I thought of that whilst reading it, was hoping someone else would reference. I feel less old now.

I kept trying to make the conversation sing song in my head, to the tune of the song. Funny little fic, all in all.

I'm relived the comments aren't cluttered with arguments over the meaning and lyrics of this song. I've gotten pretty tired of that recently, so I'm just glad this fic makes me smile with the warm and playful nature of it.

Their just too damn cute!
Good story and a early Christmas.:trollestia:

BUT CELESTIA!!!!!! ITS SNOWING!!! YOU GOTTA GO AND PLAY OUT IN THE SNOW!

Where it lands in the fire and promptly ignites.

I'm a TF2 nerd, and lemme tell you, this line really hurt.

We still wholeheartedly reject germ theory!

Fuckin LOL :rainbowlaugh:

but you jump on the opportunity to extinguish their joy.

And ours too, hot damn.

They really should send a letter to Twilight...

This was adorable and creepy. You should probably switch the drink to be a warm glass of milk instead of roofieing Anon, that might've been a bit much... (Edit: nvmind, I forgot that this was related to the song. Still creepy ;_;)

8593542
Thanks for that! I spent all yesterday dealing with salty commenters and it’s really draining... :pinkiesad2:

This story is hilarious, I love it!

cute~!:yay:

How cozy.

8593547
screw that, its cold outside..... :trollestia:

I don't know what his problem is, I'd let the princesses cuddle me. IT beats being out in the cold and besides I'd get to snuggle with best Princess Luna

“Don’t we get kisses too?” Celestia asks, frowning as if she was hurt.

"I thought you'd never ask!"
Oh, wait, my character's not supposed to be into that.

although you can’t keep the edges of a smile from creeping across your face.

...or, is he?

It's the 350# pound thing that got me, and the possibility that Twilight is watching.

Lazydrill #49 · Monday · · ·

Reading this actually got me chilled. Time to get warm and fuzzy!

Okay, this is just insidiously cute.

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