• Member Since 10th Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen Yesterday


Just a nice, polite Canadian.


Years following his explosive demise, King Sombra has remained as mysterious a figure as ever.

Up until Twilight Sparkle's discovery of a diary thought lost and forgotten, that is.

Sex tag required only for one particular part.

Artwork by Joey-Darkmeat. Colored by Mynder.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 53 )

And so it was that nopony suspected Sombra of writing out a false diary for the pure pleasure of perfectly destroying somepony’s expectations! Honestly now, the real diary is held beneath the ninth sub-basement of the palace. Complete with a series of fun and varied obstacles promoting a healthy life of exercise and scholastics! And bubbling purple goo that makes googly eyes at you as it pours from the cracks in the dungeon walls.

Ah Sombra, never change.

I like to imagine that they had to hire Daring Do to go through an elaborate temple to find the dark tome of Sombra. And temple had traps, spikes and giant boulders definitely! And many ponies had lost their lives in that adventure. All so Twilight could read this most sacred piece of Crystal Empire literature and find the treasure of the Dark King. Which contains *spoilers*.

Also Sombra is a true Spartan. He understands war.

8212790 Sombra is best troll :D

So close Twilight, so close.

This diary doesn’t contain enough Steve.


I love the blue color, makes it so manly!:rainbowlaugh:

Oh! By the way, thumbs up! :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:


That’s amazing! I loved that ending! Though with the “Regarding my Sex Life,” i was expecting... something else xD

Also isnt this the diary that was sold across equestria in Sombra wants back in his empire?

sombra knew people would read this thats why he made it so boring xD

10/10 would not recommend to book worm friend in fear of a harsh backlash from her :3

I stole someone’s hat.

As an avid TF2 player, I can easily confirm that this is the most nefarious of all crimes.

Yottall Ton Ciddors

I don't get it. This is the most that Google could help. Does it mean written by a fake author? Edit: nvmind, found the author's note.

Good story. Pretty funny. 9/10 needs more Jims.

King’s never retreat. King’s never surrender.

Get rid of the apostrophes

and laugh it their

*at their

The diary was less disappointing than Twilight’s sense of humor. But I still enjoyed the story <3

It’s soooooo blue :twilightangry2:

You. are. evil. Besides that. This was enjoyable.

It’d e better if it was something that actually went with the dark grey background, like a light red or something, but no. People chose blue. Hopefully there’ll be a setting soon that can get each of us a personal border.

Something bad is coming down. Have you heard the news?

I don’t like the cosmetic changes either :applejackunsure:
Is C.U.T.E. coming back anytime soon? ...Please?

I foolishly opened myself up today, left myself bare for all to see, and in return I was gutted with a knife so sharp that God himself would bleed from it should it be tossed his way.

I told a joke at work today and nopony laughed.

Not even a snicker or a smile.

A classic joke, if I do say so myself.

Q: How many slaves does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Depends on how you stack the bodies.

I’m going to Tartarus for chuckling at this.

Don’t worry. I’ll join you for the same reason.

What kind of chapter title is Woofles? I don’t get it.

But the real question is... Did the dragon have red eyes?

We will go together! Then we’ll BREAK OUT AND EXACT OUR MOST DIABOLICAL REVENGE!!! Now hoof me some crayons! Tartarus is getting some classy graffiti by the time we get out!

“But… my lord…” my advisory squeaks out. “This was clearly the work of children!”
I settle down for a moment. “Fine. You speak the truth, servant. Children would be much too small to cut into four. Cut them in half instead.”

Finally someone with the right answer to all that, ’What about the children?’ crap!

I wouldn't worry; the guy running the joint’s bound to be thrilled that someone laughed at his joke.


After consulting with my board of advisors, I have decided upon waffles to accompany my diced ham and pepper omelette. The waffles will be cut into wolf shapes for my pleasure.


Let it be known here, first, that I am the most cleverest of all ponies in the land.

Give that baby dragon a thousand years and it'll become a 2400/2000 beatstick.

Gonna have to make some room in that basket, friend :moustache:

I laughed at the slavery joke.

Comment posted by rikithemonk deleted Jun 8th, 2017


Oh... Oh! I get it!

SOm-bra? And you worry about puns in MY story?!?!:facehoof:


Why don't you ever source the pictures you use for coverart?

8221774 Because I'm not a good person. And most of the pictures that I use, I have saved on my computer without the artist's name in the corner. But that's no excuse. I'll start adding the artist's names to my stories. Hopefully including my back catalogue, as well.

Cold cereal was clearly off the table. What was I? A colt with a blanket cape?

I see what you did there :ajsmug:

Btw, what the hell happened to this site? It's all blue and different. It's new, so I automatically hate it. Just like my newborn. Stupid blue baby.

Yeah, the new site design is weird. They got rid of the astetically pleasing Luna background! :twilightangry2:

Love the story.

It's new, so I automatically hate it. Just like my newborn. Stupid blue baby

If you remove the duct tape from the face, it'll stop being blue and return to a pink/peach color. But then you'll have to put up with the noise again...:raritycry:

I laughed at the slave joke.....I'm sorry :ajsleepy:

THATS why you read a book from the beginning to the end, TWILIGHT!

What? A Sombra story in the feature box? This site update really broke everything, didn’t it?

Sick burn, bruh. Sick burn.

Ehh... I once read a story about Sombra's tax return. I might be able to get you a link.

My imagination has never been the same since I accidentally murdered it in a dream I had.

You deserve something wonderful for this line.

A lovely pile of ridiculosity. Thank you for it.

Yottall Ton Ciddors

Totally Not Discord. Of course.

it would be funny if it tared out that the if the book was enchanted like if any Pony were to look into the book they will read fake stories instead of are kings true thoughts and experience?

Kings never retreat. Kings never surrender. When my attackers sentence me to whatever judgment they deem fair, I will spit and laugh at their faces and tell them to get on with it already; I got a new job as ruler of Tartarus to get to.

Geeez... Leonidas would Love this guy.


You mean like the book in that one Fairy Tail episode?

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