• Member Since 14th Aug, 2014
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

CategoricalGrant


I write stories about cuddling ponies because when I try to cuddle people they scream and run away

T

When some of Ponyville's pegasi begin uploading distasteful videos of their private activities onto the internet, Ponvyille has a series of increasingly useless town meetings to debate the problem.

Teen for implied (but not actual) lewdness.

"This is how you do random comedy correctly." -stupidhand14
"This is neither clickbait, nor trash. It was glorious." -Radbunny

EDIT: Featured at #2 5/15/18!
EDIT: Featured #1 same day! Thank you all, I'm glad you enjoyed!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 104 )

GAY!

But I love you anyway. This story is good people. Real good people.

Oddly this is how people acted back in the 90's kind of sad really.

SmithSmith #3 · May 15th · · 2 ·

8926175
You think it stopped in the 90s? Still plenty of this going on, only now people build careers fanning the flames.

so moral of the story it's okay to preen

8926196

That's the thing i laugh at people who act like this now. They go think of the children!! then why are movies so awful and all the stuff that is on the net? What about books are we going to stop them from reading because some have cussing and some words in them? Like in a Gumball episode they started burning books because they didn't want to teach they just wanted to get the easy way out.

8926198
Finally somepony gets it

Just wait until videos of unicorns polishing their horns start getting posted.

Thanks for the fun satire.

:rainbowlaugh: this story was beyond Extra, :pinkiecrazy: i love it

Vesperia #9 · May 15th · · 1 ·

Top Kek 10/10

You're welcome.

Alright, I'm gonna say this now...

This is how you do random comedy correctly. It's random, yes, but it's not jumping from joke to joke, making references, and not sticking to coherency. There's deliberate logic, and a narrative that flows. It works very well, unlike most Random Comedy stories.

Good job author. And Curse you. I'd almost given up entirely on comedy random stories, now I can't. Thanks a lot.

8926220
Thank you SO much for the kind words! Can I quote you in the story description?

8926203

But yes loved the story very funny.

After hearing the local tard sperg out across the street, this truly hit the spot. 10/10.

clickbait trash

Welllllp. :rainbowwild:

No, in all seriousness, I think it was really Applejack’s “Y’all” moment that made this. There’s some high-quality crack here, but it’s also mixed in with a real point that isn’t strictly on the axis of, “lol morals dumb.” So like... it’s a messagefic that doesn’t take a flying leap at either of the obvious extremes you’d expect to find.

It’s kind of a tightrope act to write something like that. Fortunately the story did a good job of using its wings to help balance it on that tightrope. Y’know, because they were so very well-preened. :trollestia:

I wonder what'll happen if these ponies ever discover OUR internet. ::rainbowlaugh:

*waiting for clop*

8926311
No clop, smol Luna. This is no place for you! I must shield your pure eyes!

8926319
but i am the luna from your pfp...i was planning on something lewd to that pony

Delicious random fun stuff good

bh18 #23 · May 15th · · ·

I'm gonna post a few quotes and place my reactions below them. Only way I feel can express my opinion of this piece.
Ah-hem.

Now, I enjoy reductionist celebrity witch hunts as much as the next pony

Well, there's a phrase I never conceived of. Bravo Starlight.

MY EYES!

Spongebob did it!

...But I want a solutionnow!

Ladies and gentlemen the American electorate! *Ducks inevitable bricks*

I hope that we’ve arrived at a conspicuously convenient time

Celestia you troll!

Everypony, get your mob weapons

Because of course, Ponyville has mob weapon stashes for mob emergencies.

BIG MAC! GET THE SHOTGUN!

Because Rednecks!

100 year cuddle dungeon with the feathered cacti!

Lil' Filly Flier Nibs her Nubs While Cooking Spaghetti

H2GO #26 · May 15th · · ·

I completely lost it after the first 10 lines. :rainbowlaugh:

This is stupid and amazing and I love it.

8926341 *points to Venezuela* Dude, there are far worse people than the American electorate. I can point to almost any country's history and say, "Oh yeah, well look what YOU voted for!"

Right, Germany? :trixieshiftright:

And then somepony starts uploading vore with the hydra demonstrating all the things it can do with four heads and a willing perverted pony participant.

"Isn't nature wonderful?" :yay:

:trollestia:

This is wonderful.

Changes of morality follow changes of circumstances. Changes of circumstances follow changes in technology. If you want to make people think differently, invent something awesome.

This is neither clickbait, nor trash. It was glorious. Well done!

8927082
Thanks a bunch! :D Can I quote you on that in the description?

This... this is a exemplary fic of the ideas that random comedy strives for. To make sense yet be nonsense at the same time. To make people enjoy themselves so much that they don't question it, because it's good.

Grant.....










That was gold! :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Just some good old fashioned bat-shit insane comedic political commentary!

8927120

8927124
Thanks for the support, guys!

8927091
Go for it! =)

What the hay?

Fake. Those two aren't really sisters.

“Oh, shit, Dash has a preening video on the internet? I gotta find that!” a pony called.

That would be my reaction.

I just did a few minutes on a camera for one pony! [...] I didn’t know he’d record it and put it on the internet!

:ajbemused:: "Seriously: Why else did you think he was holding a camera?"

“No!” the pegasus Cloudchaser retorted, flying up to the stage. “Pegasi have been ashamed of their bodies for too long! Free the wing!” With that, she lifted a wing and began gently readjusting the feathers with her teeth.

You just have to wing it!

“And how in the hay do you know that!?” Applejack demanded.
The pony blushed and scratched the back of his head. “I was doing, uh, research! Yes, to combat this absolutely terrible epidemic of immorality!”

"Research" is always a good answer to questions like this one.


8926304

I wonder what'll happen if these ponies ever discover OUR internet. ::rainbowlaugh:

Something like this:

Absolutely god tier fic, 100/10

“I learned that while it’s excellent and laudable to be committed to a cause you believe in, it’s also vital to respect others’ values and opinions while you promote your own ideals,” Cloudchaser tacked on. "Such is the basis of mutual respect in society."

So many people seem to forget this part. So, so many people....

Thank you for reading this blatant piece of clickbait trash

read it while taking a shit, so it’s perfect fit!


:trollestia::derpytongue2:

Now watch as somebody actually makes this a thing.

Damn, that was good. I didn't lol, but I did exhale loudly through my nose. Enjoyable read. 👍

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