• Member Since 11th Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen Nov 19th, 2020


Just a nice, polite Canadian.



When a colt named "Bad Dude" storms into Celestia's personal study and declares himself as her latest arch enemy, the Princess can't help but nearly gush from the sight. As perhaps the cutest villain Celestia has ever encountered, she hurriedly calls for Luna to meet him as well.

But is there more to "Bad Dude" than his cute exterior would suggest?

No. No there is not.

Now with a youtube reading! HERE!

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 467 )

I'm still smiling all the way. That was just adorable.

That the Princesses are alive after Bad Dude's heartattacking powers is a true testament to their strength.

I love how nobody even questions the secret soup phone.

Seriously, what is up with that?

thank you for making my evening better. :rainbowkiss:

This story is suspicious.

No sudden, neck breaking dark twist?

And shouldn't Bad Dude be saving the princesses after they've been kidnapped by ninjas?

Clearly he wasn't Bad Enough for that.

Secret soup phones are now my headcanon for the Princess's

6731366 As they should be... :ajsmug:

6731272 Sorry. I only save that for longer stories, when the audience is invested and I can cause maximum pain by twisting things around and by hurting those they love. :pinkiecrazy: There's a science to it, didn't you know?

6731270 Glad I could help. :twilightsmile:

6731237 To any enemy of Equestria, it looks like just an ordinary empty can of soup. But to Celestia, it's an empty can of soup... tied to a string! :trollestia:

6731206 :moustache:

6731181 Sadly, nothing could prevent the diabetes that would soon claim both Princesses. Too many sugary sweets, their doctor said. :facehoof:

6731109 Thanks! :pinkiehappy: Glad you gave it a read!

Well that explains the 'secret' and the 'soup,' but where does the 'phone' come from?


Have you guys never made String Phones?

Deprived childhoods I say.

You take 2 cans, poke a hole in the bottom of each can, tie a bit of string between them, make sure it's nice & taut, and when you speak into the can the string vibrates, and carries the sound. Yeah the fidelity is crap, but that's what magic is for in this case.

Saxophone has existed as an English word since at least the mid‐1800s, so the suffix ‐phone probably exists in even the Equestrias that are explicitly stated to have a tech. level equivalent to the 1600s spare a spattering of the 1800s so as to allow trains.

As to why the tin can telephone didn’t raise any reader’s eyebrows? Presumably because this is a comedy short and nobody else is anal retentive enough to give a shit. :ajsmug:

Yeah, well, congrats for killing that joke dead, dude. :ajbemused:

6731761 Thank you for saying so! :pinkiehappy:

6731509 I'm glad someone knows of these things. :applejackconfused: Seriously, I thought they were as popular as kick the can back in the day.


I never actually made one, I'm just a shut-in nerd who to loves physics.

the beautiful sun over Ponyville properly raised to its correct height.

Ha! Proof that Equestria is a flat plane within a virtual reality! Everyone knows that each zone has its own skybox!

The two dislike are from citizens who naturally hate living in Potatoville
OMG this was so good
i love how it was all inncoent and cute
and the end
death by potato
completely unxpected

Potatoville... "again"? I want to know what happened last time! Also, Discord is really something else.

The proof is in the pudding:

Princesses love bad colts.

6732462 Thank you! :pinkiehappy:

6732424 As long as they only act bad and don't actually do anything bad. I think. :trollestia:

6732225 Turn your back for one second and zap!... potato. :fluttershbad: And, yes, dislikes from everyone watching their carb intake before Christmas. :rainbowkiss:

Celestia murmured, “ORIGIN: Squirrel”,

*Alondro nods sagely* I totally understand... I became evil as I attempted to rid my garden and attic of those bushy-tailed rats. Now I seek to dominate the cosmos. A perfectly legitimate escalation, you see? :pinkiecrazy:


I dunno, man. Three cookies is pretty heinous.

When there's evil villain battles to be won, to be won,
A Princess's life is not a happy one.
(Happy one.)

Not bad for a first time villain. By the time Celestia returned to her study and looked out her window again, Discord had already unveiled a brand new gravy-themed water park right in the heart of Potatoville: Gravy Falls.

am i the ony one who read that as Gravity falls at first

“I wasn’t crying. That didn’t even hurt… much. I was just… letting out some pure nastiness through my eyes. You can’t let pure nastiness buildup for too long otherwise it gives you a tummy ache. Every villain knows that!”

OH MY GOD. :rainbowlaugh:

If stories were desserts, this one would be an enormous hot fudge sundae with all of the toppings you'd expect, plus a huge helping of whipped cream. :yay:

Way too cute, and way too funny.


Their trick to surviving eons of cuteness is truckloads of (cute) blackmail pictures that they collect for later "use". They get the daww now, then they get the priceless embarrassed faces later.

Also.. soup phone. No one would expect that from a princess. Hell, maybe they can tap into the whole "can with strings" network. Imagine the kind of random gossip they could get from that.

Soup phone? This story merely confirms my suspicions. Twilight is the only princess who uses actual projectors for her slide shows. The rest use View Masters.

When no one was looking, Bad Dude took three cookies. Bad Dude took 3 cookies. That's as many as three ones. And that's terrible.

Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the princess?:rainbowdetermined2:

“I liked King Sombra the best.”

Of course you did, Bad Dude.

Why do I have a mental image of lil tater tots making a mashed potato snowman and chasing around their little dog 'Spuds" McKenzie... :pinkiehappy:

Okay, so I could not stop grinning and giggling like a madman throughout this story. You have my upvote!

And a moustache~! :moustache:


Are you a bad enough dude to KIDNAP both Princesses?

I'm not giggling. It's an over-abundance of evil causing me to make strange noises, like steam escaping a tea-kettle.


I thought it was a brilliant joke...

...And I wanna taste check out those Gravy Falls too! Mmmmm!

Ok, can we seriously get one of the mods for Fimfiction up in here? Seriously, I can't find the damn Squee!!! Button anywhere!

Celestia interacting with foals is always adorable. Good show!

Comment posted by resonance deleted Dec 15th, 2015

Personally, I'm not all that big into potatoes. I think I would enjoy touring French Fried Acres, though, that's for sure. Man, now I want some Belgian fries.

(earth apples, geddit? heh)

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