• Member Since 11th Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen Yesterday

naturalbornderpy


Just a nice, polite Canadian.

T

There's a bug under my bed. Or at least I think it's a bug.

It says it needs to stay under there to hide.

I just hope it leaves soon. And doesn't eat me before then.

Artwork by sweetsing.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 90 )

I love it! It works better to give me goosebumps than Goosebumps ever did. Not dark enough to really need the Dark tag, no need to really make it longer to qualify for a thriller or a mystery, Teen rating works well, I almost want to recommend Slice of Life but that probably would not float here.

Random will have to do for now. Unless you add more spooky chapters of foals coming across The Bed Bug!

That was a very satisfying story. I liked how you made Chrysalis creepy yet caring and kinda motherly at the same time. I would've went a somewhat different direction with your ending but it was great nevertheless.

Unexpected. Interesting. Intriguing.
Can we have more?

Huh. Not really sure what to say, other than the fact that I like it. :twilightsmile:

And, after discovering what changelings are, I can see this particular colt spending a good chunk of his life studying them.

I quite enjoyed this little fluffy bit of story. Have a like and a fav!:moustache:

Theres a like. Nice idea! Really intriguing.

8184821

:| ... *pushes "X" to Doubt* :|

Good lord, the cover art matches the title too well :twilightoops:

I'll give it a go later

Heh, this was cute, I liked it. Also faved.

We need more Chrysalis fics

I very much enjoyed the way you portrayed Chrysalis.

We Don't get enough creepy Chrysalis fics.

Now, that, good sir, was very well done! It was short, simple and enjoyable to read... all the parts of a good and pleasant little story. Keep up the good work, and have my like and fav! :twilightsmile:

Chrysalis: "I used to be the conqueror of Equestria, then I took some love in the knee. And the rest of my body. Now I'm demoted to a bed bug..."

8184408
Exactly! Creepy mother-of-monsters Chrysalis is cool. (Except when she's lurking beneath your bed...)

8185328 8185656
Yes! We need more Creepylis!

I haven't read it yet but that cover picture is definitely spawned by the devil.
Now that I have read it my opinion of the picture has not changed, however, I do think that it ENTIRELY appropriate.

8185656
Hmm... Chrysalis as Aglæcwif, and interesting idea!

*Alondro peers under his bed* Chernglerng... *sprays it with his trusty can of DDT illegally acquired from China* :trixieshiftright:

You can bite me all you want, Chryssie:moustache:

This feels reasonably "in-character" for Chrysalis. She's a cunning, manipulative, schemer who very well might convince a child to keep her a secret. If he feels the need to hide the money, he'll hide it's source as well.

They're climbing in your windows - snatching your people up!

That was a tasty read. :pinkiehappy:

You know you could do a whole Chrissy origin story around that idea, where her species found out it was better to eat love than fear, or how some of them branched off and still feast on fear, while Chrissy's clan eats love.

On another note, is that an extra book under my bed? It doesn't look familia-

Hey derp, nice to see you at it again. That was a very enjoyable mix of funny and creepy there. The kind of thing I really could imagine as a Grimm's fairy tale of sorts. Liked it.

Your father and I will be at a friends’ house just up the street.

Swinger's evening out?

“A little harmless fun,” the colt’s father would tell him later, with the mother safely in another room.

Uh ... maybe I shouldn't be reading this fic with where my mind is at.

“Ow!” said his bed suddenly,

Not sure if shoddy construction, or really bouncing hard enough to bend the frame that far.

No terrifying monster lay in wait for him. No ruby red lips

... Yeah. *zips mouth closed*

“Do not be afraid, young one,”

I'm pretty sure that's never, ever worked.

“Walk up bright in the morning light…

Shouldn't that be Wake up bright?

Among the dust bunnies and all the things lost and forgotten.

That actually sounds like the opening for a really cool super hero origin story. Which this sadly isn't.

When it finds you wide awake and instead bouncing atop its head?

Cancellation of swinger's night at the neighbors? :derpytongue2:

The Bed Bug then carefully planted a single kiss atop his head

Awww. :scootangel:

If I were him, the rest of my life would be filled with nightmares. Fantastic story!

And thus we see the TRUE power of the Changeling Queens!

Money.

Nice! Oh I liked this one!:rainbowdetermined2:

It was well written, only a few spelling errors ( I can't really pick at those cause I suck at spelling) Chrysalis was well within her character. all in all it was an enjoyable, fun, creepy story that I wouldn't mind reading a gain for fun. Jolly Good job sir! Jolly Good!

Hitting some hard times after getting dethroned, huh Chryssie? :rainbowlaugh:

She just wants to be loved.

that was beautifully written, and yet it was both adorable and creepy as hell....o.O....I like it. and want a sequel....

This was good.

This would have made an amazing horror story.

He thought two was too little. Four was too much.

Dear God I love you! No homo.
It's me! THREE DOG!

This is fucking great

That was slightly horrifying.

8188444 That's what I was aiming for. Slightly unnerving. Or just weird. :applejackconfused:

8188416 Thank you! :twilightsmile:

8187157 Updated child labor laws really took their toll on poor ol' Chrissi. :unsuresweetie:

8186705 Oh my god! It's will-i-am! No, wait... I remember you! :moustache: I was going for more "storybook" style. Like really vague and simple. "The colt's dad said... the colt's mom said..."

8186390 Ain't nopony got time for that! :flutterrage:

8186023 Oh, you. :trollestia:

8185766 I spent a long time searching for that cover art. That was the "less" dark one. :scootangel:

8185337 Thanks! :pinkiehappy: I had four hours to write a story. Four-and-a-half hours later, this is what came out. (I was late for an event. :derpyderp2:) No time to question yourself if you don't got the time!

8185265 No. We need more Sombra fics. :twilightangry2:

8184554 That sounds awesome. And would he search out Chrysalis after figuring out she's a Queen and not a bed bug?

8184408 The ending changed at the last minute. As did the middle. I sort of just ran out of time and went with whatever seemed easier. How would you have ended it, if I may ask?

8184395 I wish there was a "STRANGE" or "WEIRD" tag. RANDOM also works, but it's mostly connected with comedy stories. And a sequel? How would that work? More kids to tell to get back in bed?

And everyone realizes Chrysalis stole some of Celestia's bits, right? And was hiding out in a kid's bedroom until the guards screwed off, right? And was having some fun in the meantime? Right? Right, right?

8189322
Well, if you were to do a sequel... Children gossip, tell stories, and now a little colt has some bits to back up the existence of 'The Bed Bug'. The last bed bug... What a sad story right? I mean, being the LAST implies that at one time there were more. What happened to the other bed bugs? Were they once called bedtime bugs but then as more naughty children kept staying up past their bedtime that they simply became bed bugs known for their bite? Is there somepony who HUNTS down these bed bugs and is now looking for THE Bed Bug?

Can the collective tales and nightmares of little foals create another Bed Bug out of dreamstuff? Just barely slipping past Luna as the princess comforts another foal? Imagine a pony-like bug made up of pure darkness with the exception of it's eyes and teeth, struggling to get out from beneath a child's bed, with a distinct clicking buzz she cricks her neck just so and examines the shivering foal on the bed. "Oh? A blanket not tucked quite tight enough? Here, let me get that for you. Sleep nice and snuggly warm..." Another sickening crack and she's traveled from one foal's bed to another's. That's how she gets around you know. The shadows beneath the bed are her little portals. She goes around checking for naughty foals to chastise, and perhaps for something more...

What sort of critter goes around checking beds for naughty foals? Well... She is the LAST bed bug. And if she's not there to devour you... Well maybe your parents will wake up to find something else in bed. Somepony who behaves more, and is desperate for their parent's love. Yes, what a good little foal that does not stay up past their bed time... While the Bed Bug works on her latest addition to her brood.

8189322 Unfortunately I have the literary ability of a drunken emu or I would attempt to write an Adventure/Mystery out of it.

Also, regarding the cover picture, I gave this mental image of a Jolly Rancher floating just off screen to Chysalis' right. And it makes me giggle.

8189307 What was the other one?!

I would've went something like when he's laying in bed, Chrysalis comes in disguised as his mom and she gives him a cookie and says the whole goodnight and sleep tight deal before letting her disguise flicker letting him know who she really is then she says the don't give me a reason to return part and walks out. But like I said, your version is great the way it is.

Methinks Chryssy might be a bit lonely and misses being a hive mother.

8189307
8189434
I find myself in agreement, just what was the other one?

>Chrysalis implying that her biting you is a bad thing

:moustache:

8189681 I find myself strangely agreeing with that

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