• Member Since 10th Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago


Just a nice, polite Canadian.


Perhaps there's more to immortality than we first thought. Perhaps it's not about living forever, but merely escaping Death's icy cold hooves.

And by staying one step ahead of him at all times.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 77 )

As the immortal words of the mad Arab go something like:
"That is not dead which can run away and with strange eons even death may retire."

This makes so much sense and really you have to feel sorry for the old guy. He was just doing his job.

Sweet, so Rainbow is the new Death, unless she doesn't take up the title of "Death Dealer" for Equestria, this way she is free to be herself while the Princesses are all free of Death and him trying to case them.

“I’m not Discord! I’m Dat Chord! Totally different! Get your facts straight, bud!”

Drat! Dat Chord is even worse than Discord!

Nicely done. Ending feels a bit off because it's just Dash repeating the same action from earlier, but that may be deliberate. Either way, great fun n_n

Loved the story. Also it is worth the wait. I have been playing for a week and still haven't finished it. And I used to do Zelda speed runs

That's one hell of a reaper.

Love death humor

"Soooo... got any urges to go skydiving lately?"
"Base jumping? Lion Taming? Sailing in uncharted waters? Criticizing your meal at a griffon restaurant?"
"Hey, bet you can't walk down those stairs with your eyes closed."
"For the last time, Rainbow Dash, I'm not going to be reckless just so you can finish your list! And put the grease away!"
"Oh come on, I only got two more days to beat that record and you're the last pony on my list!"
"You offed 99 ponies in a month?"
"Hey, at least eighty of those were totally not my fault."

(Also, what happens to the Death Dealer who had the new Death Dealer on their list? Do they get to just cross them off for free?)


Haha, i love this story! And the ending!

I half expected mirror clones...

Was supposed to be playing the new Zelda this weekend, but it's late in the mail.

Actually, I stole it. It's mine now

Hey man, chillax. At least you get to play the new Zelda; some of us are stuck waiting indefinitely until our financial situations improve... Let us know how it goes, tho; after all the hype, I hope it's as good as it sounds!

Anywho, ur story was kinda cute, guy. I liked it! I'm sorry I don't have anything useful to say about it, though.

Seems legit. I mean, hey, why suffer a slow agonizing demise when Rainbow Death can take you in 10 seconds flat?

That was hilarious, as (almost) always. Honestly, beyond that, I have nothing to say, so I guess I will just say that I have nothing to say, but then I am saying something, so do I have nothing to say, or does saying I have nothing to say count as saying something meaning I really do have something to say? Maybe I both do and don't have anything to say, what do you think? Do I, or do I not have something to say if saying I have nothing to say may, or may not mean I have something to say? Then again, if saying that I have nothing to say counts as having something to say, then it would be a lie to say that I have nothing to say, meaning I might as well not say anything, but that would mean I have nothing to say if I don't say anything meaning I probably should say that I have nothing to say. So the question is, do I, or do I not have something to say? I will wait, hopefully a random NSA guy will see this and have something to say...

Most amusing.

Not quite as effective as the Baron Von Munchausen method of making up your life as you go along, but running away a lot seem to work too: look at Rincewind the Wizzard.

Rainbow Dash, Grim Reaper. Now, that's a title!

That scythe would be neat...

I can see why this story is on the front page. Nice story with what looks like a continuation point. Oh, and much congrats on a successful and well written 55th story.

As for this reaper, I have to wonder what prevented him from just crossing those names off and going about with his own retirement. I doubt anypony would have noticed if his own supervisor was gone and this death was not given another. For that matter, I now wonder if he had some reaper waiting for him to die. This is kinda like the "If a postman delivers mail" paradox. XD

trust me it is worth the wait its a very fun game and it was extremely satisfying to kill ganon while naked (im not joking i actually did this while somehow managed to take less damage like that then i did in full ancient armor and i do have photographic proof of this fact)

As always your stories are always so fun to read. :yay:

After Death left Twilight turned around to the three immortals and asked, 'so, theoretically, how would six mares and a dragon go about avoid their respective death dealers? You know. As a purely hypothetical example.'
'Five mares and a dragon.' Discord stated.
'Excuse me?'
'Rainbow is now a death dealer apparently so she can just avoid striking off the last pony on her list.'
'Neat!' Rainbow nodded in approval while attempting to twirl her scythe in a badass way.
'Ok. Five mares and a dragon.'
The three immortals who had just cheated death grinned to each other. 'Allow us to teach you.'

"I can kill a hundred ponies in 10 seconds flat!"

I can totally imagine this.

8013983 though that might be a curse in the end. If there isn't a Death for them what happens if something happen that should kill them? Is their names put on a new list or do they linger unable to die?

Ten seconds later...

"Alright Fluttershy!" Rainbow Dash crowed. "You're a Death Dealer now, have fun!"

8013980 Well, they were talking about Kenny... I mean, 'Mysterion'.


fourteen accidental beheadings;

This is the guy who splits himself down the middle. Somehow, I'm not sure a behaeding would mean anything to him. :trollestia:

Okay, that was kinda fun and...

Hey, wait a second! If no one is immortal unless they avoid Death and death has been around for thousands of years... does that mean he was on somepony's list and just managed to avoid them? Although, that pony would also have to be around for thousands of years trying to catch him, which means somepony would have them on their death list and around and around we go!

8016846 Well changelings have holes, right? So they should be fine if I shove a spear through them, right?

8016982 If you shove a spear right through the hole, they'll be just fine. :trollestia:

Slightly more seriously, with Discord, who knows. He seems to treat magical attacks as a plausible threat...sometimes...but at the same time he's more like a DS9 changeling or q in terms of how absurdly flexible his physiology is. (existing as a stained glass window or a puddle, for instance).

That record is going to get buttraped. I guarantee You guys that Rainbow will be able to cut the record,in 1/18 of the record time. There's already a few targets near Her... though I am surprised that Rainbow didn't question,why She became a death dealer. She took so much damage to Her body in the past episodes,She was supposed to be dead long ago.

Rainbow Dash as the new Death?

This needs a sequel.
It's too hilarious not to receive one.

I was legitimately giggling by the end of the last scene.

8018666 About Death or about Death Dealer Rainbow Dash? :rainbowdetermined2:

8017828 Makes sense to me. :moustache:

8015414 :rainbowlaugh: These are both great.

8015280 Glad to hear! :twilightsmile: Thanks for coming back for more.

8015053 Played a few hours today. Did the first four shrines and (somewhat) figured out how to battle the cold. It's fun. Different. Sort of like Skyrim meets Zelda. Again, I've only just started, so we'll see how I feel about it later. I do like completing Zelda games fully. Sadly. :ajsleepy:

I don't know why but this brings this game to mind

8014787 I agree. :rainbowkiss:

8014604 "Hear about that crazy accident at the Wonderbolts' show?"

"No. What happened?"

"Exactly 100 ponies died from a sonic rainboom!"

... :rainbowwild:

8014377 I'm not that rich. I don't even live in a house! Bought it on the WiiU, too. Because the Switch has so many other games to play... :twilightoops:

8014342 Damn it! :flutterrage: Why can't there be more than four people in Canada!?

8014097 That's a good question. Also... :rainbowlaugh:

8013985 The only reason for this story is the first scene. Death trying to poke Discord down from the ceiling with a broom. Anything else is just... filler.

8013984 Dat Chord. Spirit of Organization and Time Management. :eeyup:

8013980 I feel bad for Death. He's so old and tired. But determined! :ajsmug: Oddly cute when he falls asleep and talks about his dead kids.

8019047 No one likes Dat Chord

8019047 I support this idea.

8016882 According to a paperback novel I read a few years ago, the traditional way to become the new avatar of Death is to kill the previous one when it comes to take you.

8019023 Death Dealer RD, though I wouldn't mind checking in on retired Death every so often.

Obligatory 10 seconds joke.

Reminds me of Dead Like Me lol

8019023 good on yah also if you don't mind a couple of little spoilers then hears some tips don't bother trying to get the master sword unless you have 13+ hearts because you will die and if you see a centaur thing don't fight it unless you have a lot of armor and heath as well as plenty of healing items


I do like completing Zelda games fully. Sadly.

And then we never heard from NBD again.

That poor unfortunate soul.

Ok, this was hilarious XD
And I think you have inspired me to write something about a Death in Equestria. Thanks!

Here comes dat chord!

oh shit waddup!

Needs a sequel. Urgently. Because LOL :rainbowlaugh:

About Death Dealer Dash, that is. And the others' shenanigans to avoid their deaths. Because they'll also be awesome :pinkiehappy:

Definitely deserves a sequel, this was great XD Just the right amount of lol. :D

Lot of bronies really like that Death dude. Wonder if I should write a fic about him.

Death is like "@#$% it" I'm retiring. Though I think it was a big mistake to give that scythe to Rainbow Dash. She's too reckless and will accidentally send several undeserving ponies to the afterlife.

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