1. Member Since 7th Mar, 2013
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I write things. Sometimes they make sense.

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Being an immortal Alicorn sucks when you have nopony to share it with. Fortunately Twilight finds a neat spell that'll ensure her friends live forever! All they have to do is die!

First Published
16th Mar 2017
Last Modified
16th Mar 2017
#1 · 1w, 1d ago · 5 · ·

XD That was surprisingly funny!

#2 · 1w, 1d ago · 8 · ·

Oddly enough, I can see this being cannon. Now I need to go apologize to my neighbors for laughing so loudly. :pinkiehappy:

#3 · 1w, 1d ago · 16 · ·

You got me with the bear costume Twilight poisioning Fluttershy's tea

#4 · 1w, 1d ago · 6 · ·

“Um… if it’s not too much trouble… could somepony maybe… get me out of this coffin… please?”

Fluttershy is so polite, and cute :yay:

#5 · 1w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

but Spike had been using it to even out a table leg for months.

oh spike

#6 · 1w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

“Twilight snuck into my bedroom and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Twice.”

this is one of the main reasons Twilight shouldn't have wings (or just be an alicorn, she could have wings, but i'd like it to be an anomaly)

#7 · 1w, 1d ago · · ·

Why do they assume zombies instead of true resurrection? And what did they leave behind that would have led everypony else to believe they were dead?

#8 · 1w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

I had a huge grin plastered on my face the entire time I was reading this.

Masterfully done, man!

#9 · 1w, 1d ago · 2 · ·

“I uh,” Twilight rubbed the back of her head in embarrassment, “I may have killed you.”

:rainbowhuh:: “YOU WHAT?”

“Don’t take it personally,” Rarity sighed. “She killed us all.”

:rainbowderp:: "Oh, that excuses everything."

:twilightsheepish:: "Really? Good."

:rainbowwild:: "Of course not!"

Good story.

Might there be a sequel where they have to deal with their decaying bodies?

But are you sure this can be rated "everyone"? I would use "teen", since it contains death-related themes.

#10 · 1w, 1d ago · 12 · 1 ·

What she with all these stories of Twilight killing everyone? I feel like it's becoming a genre unto itself.

Good story, though. Made me chuckle.

#11 · 1w, 1d ago · 5 · 1 ·

Dear Princess Twilight:

I knew you would do this Twilight. That is why I replaced all your friends with Changelings then froze them in their new bodies. Your real friends are safe and sound in Canterlot.:trollestia:

#12 · 1w, 1d ago · · ·

So who reanimated Twilight?

#13 · 1w, 1d ago · 7 · 2 ·

:moustache: Where'd everybody go?

:derpytongue2: Somepony get a Doctor!

:ajbemused: dead drunk

:fluttercry: dead eye

:rainbowhuh: dead on my hooves

:duck: dead wrong

:pinkiehappy: dead as a door knob

:trollestia: dead center

:moustache: dead inside

:facehoof: just dead

#14 · 1w, 1d ago · · ·

>>8027150 shes immortal

#15 · 1w, 1d ago · · ·

>>8027178

A nice refreshing after-chuckle chuckle! GG

#16 · 1w, 1d ago · · ·

Sequel, please?

#17 · 1w, 1d ago · 3 · ·

Yet another reason Twilight isn't immortal in my headcanon, because I can sincerely see her doing this!

#18 · 1w, 1d ago · · ·

>>8027257

I thought she died to that right-hook....

Lemme reread real quick.

#19 · 1w, 1d ago · · ·

>>8027257

Twilight sat with an ice pack pressed against her cheek. Turns out dying via ‘very powerful right-hook’ left its mark even beyond the grave.

#20 · 1w, 23h ago · 4 · ·

Liches get stitches, Twilight. Shoulda seen that right hook coming

#21 · 1w, 23h ago · · ·

uuuhhh wut

#22 · 1w, 22h ago · · ·

>>8026180

Really?  This is one of the reasons I think she should be one myself.  Fun stuff like this happening.

#23 · 1w, 21h ago · 4 · ·

YOU SHALL NEVER KATCH PINKIE PIE! yes.

#24 · 1w, 21h ago · · ·

>>8027680 immortality can come various ways god status in which only some pony else taking over there Jo or god weapons can kill the killable but come back necromancy way like her friends/pinkie being pinkie elven which wont get sick or age but can die in battle should I go on

#25 · 1w, 18h ago · · ·

>>8028270

I don't even know what you're saying. Are you alright? Did you have too much coffee?

#26 · 1w, 16h ago · 7 · ·

I don't know why there's all these stories lately about Twilight killing everyone and it being absolutely hilarious but please by all means keep them coming.

#27 · 1w, 16h ago · · ·

>>8027178 lol

such comparison :rainbowlaugh:

#28 · 1w, 16h ago · · ·

>>8028001 i know

but it ruins the show...

but its still fun to make stuff like this, it gives more opportunity :twilightsheepish:

#29 · 1w, 16h ago · · ·

>>8028901 :rainbowlaugh: I'm dying of laughter :twilightsmile:

#30 · 1w, 16h ago · 1 · ·

To be honest, I gave a thumbs-up for the Author's Note alone.

#32 · 1w, 12h ago · · ·

*Looks at title*

How do you 'Sort-of' kill your friends?!

*Reads*

Oh, that's how... Neat.

#33 · 1w, 10h ago · · ·

Nah, we know elements can't die from old age.

#34 · 1w, 6h ago · 2 · ·

And somewhere Spike shuddered, for he was finally right and it was zombies.

#35 · 1w, 6h ago · · ·

>>8028670 its common immortal lore

#36 · 6d, 22h ago · 5 · ·

KILL ALL YOUR​ FRIENDS.

Hmm, are you sure?

YES.

Well, I'm convinced.

#37 · 6d, 22h ago · 7 · 2 ·

you know what IS worth murdering over? the font on that gravestone.

#38 · 6d, 20h ago · 2 · ·

The author's note got me before I even started

#39 · 6d, 19h ago · · ·

*applause*

#40 · 6d, 19h ago · 1 · ·

I can make super dark. Watch me.

Turns out Twilight is actually immortal, and her friends all died of old age. After everyone she knew and loved (besides the other princesses) died, she sequestered herself into isolation to grieve. While she was grieving, she became a somewhat unhinged and tried to conjure her friends' and family's souls to implant into some form of homunculus to bring them back. The experiment failed, destroying the souls of her loved ones, and in that moment of failure, her perception of the world shattered and she is now living in a delusion created from her newfound madness and grief, which is this story.

~Crystalline Electrostatic~

22:44_3/17/2017

#41 · 6d, 18h ago · 8 · ·

Rainbow shot into the air, waving her hooves. “You killed Fluttershy in a bear costume?”

Twilight shrugged. “It was the easiest way to kill her. She wouldn’t expect a friendly bear to poison her tea.”

This alone made this fic worth reading.

#42 · 6d, 14h ago · 1 · ·

>>8031057 lol she won't trust a bear anymore

imagine if that's how the bears n our world killed people

#44 · 6d, 12h ago · 1 · ·

>>8031007 dark dark darkidy dark

that first part of that mini story you wrote there is kinda how i see it, she lives while her friends die of old age :trollestia:

#45 · 6d, 9h ago · 5 · ·

If this is what you write on your meds, I think you need something stronger.  Whatever you're on clearly isn't cutting it.  :rainbowlaugh:

#46 · 6d, 7h ago · 2 · ·

why have there been so many X kills their friends/Ponyville stories lately

#47 · 6d, 1h ago · 3 · ·

“And we all know you complain like it’s the end of the world when you have one,” Twilight shot back. “In fact, the last time you had a cold your exact words were ‘leave me alone to die!”

“That did not give you permission to break into my home and kill me with a baseball bat!”

“I saw it as an open invitation!”

Okay I am done. This part here killed me. :rainbowlaugh:

Does that mean I am immortal now? :trollestia:

#48 · 6d, 13m ago · 2 · ·

:raritydespair: WHY DID YOU KILL ME?

:facehoof: BECAUSE I WANT MY FRIENDS TO BE IMMORTAL OF COURSE

:unsuresweetie: So, I'm not your friend then?

:facehoof: Uh...

:raritycry: YOU FORGOT SWEETIE BELLE!

:eeyup: Eeyup.

:facehoof: *groans*

#49 · 6d, 13m ago · · ·

10/10, Would Recommend.

#50 · 6d, 10m ago · · ·

>>8031559

Twilight: But I knew that you would do that because I cast a spell on them just to make sure and I double checked all the math, and made my 'friends' in Canterlot the changelings instead!

:trollestia: Clever Girl...

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