I'm prone to so-called "Blue Periods", times in which I'm just positively miserable for no particular reason. Nothing feels like fun, everything sucks, and all I wanna do is curl up in a hole and die. I've been in one of those Blue Periods as of late and, thanks to years of research and careful study, I've concluded that there is one no-fail solution to getting my spirits raised.

A good, large, greasy cheeseburger. And I'm not talking about that pussy shit you get from McDonald's. I mean a real burger, as big as your head, so large that you have to unhinge your jaw to take a bite of the damned thing.

I like mine with mozzarella and thousand island dressing. Yum.