• Member Since 3rd Feb, 2023
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

AnRin05


I love writing in my spare time ⁠(⁠*⁠´⁠︶⁠`⁠*⁠)

T

She was just someone normal, wanting to fill the void with something when her favorite show ended years ago.
 
Until an app was suddenly downloaded unknowingly on her phone, that is.

Suddenly opening the mysterious app out of curiosity, multiple texts appeared in the blackness of her screen, explaining that this was a game, an AU based on the start of the show of MLP, and how the main story had gotten out of wack and needed her help to fix it.
 
She, despite all the red flags, somehow chose to continue by pressing the button that suddenly popped up with the words [I'll help!].
 
 
Big Mistake.

_____________________

I just like Twivine, though I didn't design the character. So if you wanna know about the creator just click the link: The Link

Oh and I created the cover, if you wanna know.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 102 )

I like it so far, the system is something am curious about, but i guess we will get more info on it in later chapters

Sound very interesting. Definitely looking foward to reading more of this story! :twilightsmile:

0.o with no one else but Twilight and Spike being able to see her, it most be a little weird for Celestia and Twilights mother...

and also be pretty weird walking into the bedroom with 2 beds only one of them is used, and then half of the room super tidy and the other half super messy :rainbowderp::rainbowlaugh:


like the story so far looking forward to more chapters

Hopefully this will stay alive

Interesting. Fave'd, this will be interesting to watch :)

So, our resident human is pretending to be something she isn't. Or at the very least, had some kind of information beamed into her... Brain? Interesting. Definitely leaves lots of questions to answer later :twilightsmile:

Wait, did you create the cover? Well, you got me hooked, I've seen covers and I've seen covers, you're second

This was a good story I liked it

I'm looking forward to seeing how this goes!

I already read the chapter, interesting, but I felt that there were extra blank spaces and in the part of choosing the alternative personality it was a bit poorly explained

Una
Una #10 · Feb 6th, 2023 · · · Start ·

Interesting. The only thing I can really say is that I wish you would go into a little more more detail about the characters and surroundings to help the reader visualize your story more.

This is I think the third Twivine story I've seen, but unlike those other two, this one is well written and good. There's even some original ideas that set it apart from a lot of other stories. I look forward to the next chapter.

hopefullý third time is the charm

11499620
I think I know which two your talking about unless I missed some stories. Hopefully this one isn't DOA it is really good

good prologue

Much improvement there has been.

I can't wait to see what the alteration that Twivine needs to watch out for is. I'm guessing a more insane Nightmare Moon. Girl did just spend 1000 years in essentially solitary confinement (unless Nightmare developed into a separate personality/entity then Luna):trixieshiftright:

Twilight there is more then the moon. Jus tlook at your nations flag its was TWO count them TWO alicorns on the flag and one pf then night themed.


To tje author what exactly is Twivine in this is they a game or what. Her nature is kind of confusing.

Failing a MAIN MISSION will not only lead to the one called Twivine being obliterated on the spot

Way to mount the pressure lol! Who would add this kind of effect to the system... Is it even on the 'good side'?

Also... A "secret task"? Interesting. The plot thickens!

Why would you reveal that to her in public, Twivine? Anything that enthralling is just gonna make her look crazy :twilightblush:

is twivine using dark magic or just and umbrum magic in this AU?

Comment posted by AnRin05 deleted Feb 11th, 2023

11503522
Hmmm... I say, 50% using the magic that brought her to Equestria (since she is nothing but an apparition made by that magic)

30% Dark magic and 20% regular magic of Equestria.

Overall, yep. Dark magic.

11503188

Well, to put it simply, Twivine's like an avatar for the system. She helps and guides Twilight to complete her destiny with the system's given task, whether it be emotionally or physically.
 
And why drag Twivine into all this?

The answer is because, in the first place, systems do not sympathize or feel emotions. So putting in a cold-hearted machine, a thing that, so long as the requirements are met, wouldn't care who's going to get hurt or how much damage it may cause so long as it does what it's required to, would actually make everything worse for Twilight's future.
 
Imagine pairing a ruthless logic-driven machine with Twilight, who's still a filly and highly impressionable.
 
Definitely going to ruin everything that its supposed to maintain. 

(..... I somehow don't know how reply in this website.. am I doing this right? I just pointed the 2 arrows)

I love this story! :twilightsmile: Cant wait for the next chapter! :pinkiehappy:

11503550
so is Twilight real or a part of a program?

I still have a lot of questions

11503549
then you have to define why is it was dark magic. what made it bad.
it's definitely not about mind manipulation because cadence's love magic is good and twilight's want it needs it and reformation spell doesn't warrant any kind of inquisitor.

Honestly I would be more worried about Twilight then Nightmare moon possibly being an actual threat. She thinks Vine just died in front of her, that is going to have a major impact on her and Vine isn’t allowed to correct that assumption until after nightmare is dealt with.

Huh I find the premise of this story really interesting! Tracking! The last story I found with such an interesting premise that had them starting out with Twilight aside from just being the twin sibling was when the OC was made into a changeling as Twilight's familiar... Spike replaced though...

Neat, a new game system story! Hmm... I wonder if there were any errors I missed...

Doctor Bright Hooves was actually afraid that his patient would protest and leave, yet again. So, as soon as Twilight was in the room, the doctor immediately shut the door with a loud bang, not really afraid that the princess might get angry at him. His patient comes first. That's his motto in life.

No need to have an attitude

"But... It's her destiny to fulfill. I couldn't simply intervene yet..." Slightly furrowing her brows, she summoned her own quill before taking another breath. "I'm sorry.. Twilight, but.. I should let you go.. for my selfish desire... And for your future."

But, why are you trying to make it her destiny?
Whats the purpose of the goal?

Una

I love that you describe details that normal writers fail to include. Just small things make a difference.

whoever made the system is an asshole.

11524743
While I certainly agree I wonder what types of punishments she experienced.

Poor Celly :pinkiesad2: All well be well soon! :twilightsmile:

Nice, quick thinking with that excuse! hopefully the magic flare won't interfere with Twilight's final confrontation with Nightmare...

I guess we'#re gonna see our villains soon, if Twi's arriving in Ponyville. SOMETHING has to make Twivine's presence necessary... This should be interesting!

11551729
I forgot them because the last chapter was from THE 5TH OF MARCH

nice story cant wait for more to come out soon

Login or register to comment