• Member Since 5th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen 12 hours ago

Dat Merc


Amatuer-tier fanfic writer trying to take his shots at writing...

T
Source

Edward Elric's fate has been altered. Little did he know that his decision is just the beginning of another chapter in his life.


WARNING:
- May include or remove tags if necessary.


FEATURED (Many thanks!!) (Dates are based on US CST) :
10/15/2020 (at least for a brief amount of time)
11/13/2020 (Friday the 13th!! :pinkiegasp: )
12/05/2020
3/27/2021
8/15/2021
10/16/2021
3/5/2022
5/22/2022
6/25/2022
6/26/2022 (It's past midnight when I noticed this! :pinkiecrazy:)

Chapters (10)
Comments ( 91 )

This fic has lots of potential.

A proper crossover and not a Displaced? Color me interested.

Happy Fullmetal Alchemist Day too!

This reminds me of a fanfic where at the end of FMA03, Ed gets sent to episode 3 of Brotherhood instead of the real world. In fact, the short description made me assume this was based on ‘03 at first.

Nitpicks:

  • Why are the numbers in the description spoiler-tagged?
  • Shouldn’t this be tagged as alternate universe?
  • Most of the readers already know who these characters are.
  • The prose occasionally lapses into present-tense.

My biggest problem with this fanfic is the narration, and it first caught my attention with this paragraph:

However, something was on her mind... That menacing voice right before waking up. Something about it was making her feel uneasy. At the same time, she couldn't shake that unpleasant feeling that something terrible has happened. Where was that coming from? It didn't felt like it was happening here in Equestria or anywhere here at all.

This reminds me of how I used to write. The rhetorical question is pointless, because the readers already know where the voice came from. The first four sentences also describe the same thing; you only need to describe how Celestia is feeling once.

Keep wrighting guy interested to see where this goes

10463388
I'm glad my story caught your interest. And yes, I noticed a number of displaced stories here. Somehow, they don't spark my interest. :applejackconfused:

10463337
I'm glad you like it, even though it's only one chapter so far... I assure you that there will be more. Obviously not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon.

10463424
- Looking at the spoiler tags now, I was not thinking clearly whether to add them or not. I know not everyone on Earth hasn't seen nor finished watching Brotherhood or reading the manga, but still.
- I'm a bit conflicted to add "Alternate Universe" tag or not. I've been tearing my brain apart like a piece of paper over it.
- Been in the habit of frequently mentioning big and small details every few seconds.

As for the paragraph you pointed out...

Again, a habit of mentioning details every few seconds. In addition to the rhetorical, I also have a habit of overthinking and overanalyzing my own work at times.

10464457
It may be just one chapter, but I'm glad you're enjoying it. It's already far too late for my previous story, but I do need all encouragement and motivation I can get for this one.

yes a Fullmetal Alchemist crossover

Where FMA Brotherhood and manga

Aren't those the same thing?

hmmm never thought I needed FMA and pony. Now I'm sure I want more.

10483968
An unexpected need, but a welcoming need.

holy shit... i never thought i would see the day an FMA story would appear without horrendous grammar and over the top fan service right from the get go... i eagerly await more of this magnificent opportunity!

holy shit !!! I love this fic !!! please!!! I beg!!! give me more chapters !!! (drug !!!) I need more !!!

This is awesome! I can't wait to see how Ed and Twilight meet. Once this crisis has been dealt with and the two of them become friends. I foresee them constantly butting heads and bickering like an old married couple.

I'm also curious to see which pony is going to be the first one to make a comment about Ed's height.

a mashup of the endings from both FMA animes
Huh...

yay new chapter!! also, nice to see some self control in twilight-not immediately hounding him with questions about what he saw

Good chapter. However, it struck me that none of the ponies asked whether he was a minotaur or not.

Excellent chapter!

I definitely wasn't expecting Discord to be the first one to trigger Ed about his height.:rainbowlaugh:

10530707
Well kind of makes sense Discord is the first creature he's met who's taller than him.

I look forward to wat you do with the "training wheels" cast off now. Inserting Ed made no major changes thus far, but fo the beginning that's fine,

Color me intrigued. Some minor typos/grammatical problems here and there but perfectly serviceable and I look forward to seeing where it goes.

Well, this story has my attention. It hasn't convinced me to be good, but it has my attention.

Let's see if you manage to improve the story as it progresses, it has potential to be very good.

10530413
Well, finding the Tree of Harmony and the Princesses were the biggest priorities at the time. I had to make her hold back questions for Ed for a while longer.
10530707
Discord seems to be the most suitable FiM character to comment on Ed's height. I actually overlooked the fact that he was taller than anypony else. :derpyderp2:

Not bad, characters are well written, pacing is alright, good chapter over all.
One little quip I've got is that ed's arm isn't just carbon fiber, or atleast, not completely. A quick check of the wiki says it's a stainless steel (steel with chrome alloying) tempered with aluminum and carbon fiber.
This brings up an interesting question, is he going to make some new parts out of new magical materials in the future?
Regardless, I look forward to seeing where we go from here.

10531669
I appreciate your interest. I assure you that there's more in the works.

10532512
I'm glad it caught your interest. :pinkiehappy:

10534117
I looked up the wiki myself as I typed this. You were right about Ed's lightweight automail limbs. They're carbon fiber, but only a high percentage of it.

The bare minimum for Ed's automail situation that I have for him is looking for somepony willing to provide maintenance, repairs, and tune-ups when needed. I'm also trying to figure out whether or not to make him modify his limbs to be somewhat resistant to magical attacks while still retaining its original properties.

10535132

Well, considering I'm also writing a FMA fic, I had to give it a read. I've seen worse so your is already starting on a good place.

If interested, here's my fic:

EThe Redemption of a Never Ending Ambition
One day, Twilight found a new type of gem that she has never seen before and brought it to her library. Spike is a dragon that eats gems and the gem Twilight brought has awoken feelings that he haven't felt in a while.
Time Reaper · 79k words  ·  74  5 · 2.5k views

Clever to focus it on Edward, that way, so it's not a simple retelling. Good.

This has been very interesting so far. Im curious to see what happens next.

Edward looked back at his friends with even more confusion, "Did I miss something while I was gone?"

Believe me, you rather be glad to have miss it.

10568107
Shenanigans happened to the Mane 6, Spike, and Angel while his back is turned. :rainbowlaugh:

10584331
From Edward's POV, the ponies are mostly childish despite around the same age as he. Mostly because he has a hash life than most ponies so he is very mature compare to them.

10584418
To be fair, Ed does act childish on an occasional basis if you think about it. I.E, When someone mentions his short height, his stubborn refusal to drink milk, and (from FMA 03, not sure if it happened in the manga...) his fear of medical shots.

I can only imagine Twilight and/or any of her friends trick him into drinking milk like this:

In the end, Edward ultimately conceited.

Do you mean conceded? Conceited means something entirely different.

10613615
Thanks for the heads up!! Somehow I knew there was something a bit off with that word. I just couldn't put a finger on it.

10584598
Actually that didn't happen in the manga, and while Ed can act childish, he does not have a fear of needles that is the 03 series only. To be an Alchemist in the world of Fullmetal Alchemist you need the scientific knowledge of a trained chemist and a physics university major from 1910's Europe rolled into one. Edward as an Alchemist and one that has expertise in Mineral Alchemy and Bio-Medical Alchemy would actually the sort of person that a Laboratory would go to to create vaccines and medicine that might need to be injected. And he went through the surgery for his prosthetic limbs with very little anesthesia, the fact that those things connect directly to his central nervous system means he cannot be too drugged or unconscious while they are being attached and it is painful as all hell. Edward has already gone through more than enough physical and phycological misery by the time he turns ten that needles would be something he wouldn't pay attention to. Again, the kind of person that would and can actually make vaccines and and injectable medicine, he has the education and pedigree to do so.

He maybe just 18 by the end of the manga and here in this story, but he is someone that probably sports around a 180-ish IQ and has had his whole childhood learning Alchemy from his fathers books. He didn't go to university despite those existing in his world, being from a world from Early 20th Century Europe but back in his time aprentiship, taking the necessary academic tests, and government certification was all he needed to be a Licensed Alchemist.

So Edward gave up everything instead of his own doorway to the truth.

Hold up, if Truth could send Edward to Equestria... does this mean the ponies or creatures can use alchemy as well? That would be amusing watching Pinkie use alchemy all around the town.

Discord: That dang upstart. Now I don't think I can do anything more in this town. To Manehattan, I guess.

I know it's Edward's trauma talking when he mentions that he left a long sting of broken promises when he sacrificed himself to restore Alphonse. But I think in the end if the Battle of Central was still won everyone would mourn and miss him more than anything.

I can imagine how Mustang his pseudo mentor in a way would be drinking a whole wine bottle without bothering for even a glass on his desk alongside Riza lamenting that Edward ended up being just another young man dead in a battlefield due to the decisions of selfish adults.

Winry Rockbell and Pinako Rockbell would still be saddened by his loss, and Alphonse would probably be staying with the Armstrong Family being looked over by doctors wherever they are until he fully recovers, devastated by Edwards loss.

10742217
For now, I made Ed speculate on the possibility of whether or not that Truth threw him into Equestria or some other force did that. It's 50/50 in that matter. Considering some dark secrets he discovered about Amestrian alchemy during the events of Brotherhood (or depending on anyone's personal preferences, the manga.), he may be hesitant to actually introduce and teach it to Equestria.

10743132
Even I imagine similar situations for those Ed left behind. The outcome is occurring differently for them since his sacrifice. To them, Edward passed away. Little do they know he is still alive and well in a totally different plane of existence. He will have to come to terms with his demons and mistakes so he won't repeat them again in Equestria. He will also have to stay strong for his new friends as he did for Alphonse. The Main 6 don't see it but he's mentally suffering over his separation from his old life and the choice he made which caused the separation.

10743598
Even then though... We know Edward Eric. He figured out a way out of the the dimensional rift that is Gluttony. I hate to break it to you but resignation is not in his character. At some point somepony (Maybe a shrink, he needs one, and those exist in Armestis but much like the real world 1910's they probably have cocaine as a prescription.) will convince him that his family and friends do not recent him and he will try Scientifically to get his ass back home. As a prosthetics user he needs a mechanic. His Alchemy can only do so much. I can already imagine him sorrounded by books, and paper and chalk boards filled with Math trying to figure out the physics behind his dimentional displacement.

I must say, not many can do FMAB justice and you have outdone yourself. The Administration expects great things from your tale. Carry on.

10916264
I appreciate you enjoying the story so far. The FMA series as a whole is quite complex... Mostly because of the concept of alchemy than everything else (Character development, geopolitics, war, etc.) combined. Because of that complexity in question, I'm taking my time with upcoming chapters.

And don't worry. The next chapter is still in the works and yes, I'm taking my time with it.

“The Crimson… Star? What kind of name is that? And what is it exactly…?” She scratched her cheek in confusion as she wrote more information in her notes.

Uh oh.

Curious to see the result if Ed try to teach Alchemy to ponies here.

In this story, Twilight performs forbidden alchemy to splice Spike with a dog.

:trollestia:

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