Chapter 4: An Alchemist's Uncertainty
Twilight led her friends towards the castle's library. While on the way, she explained that she and Spike arrived at the ruins at the suggestion of Princess Celestia with hopes they may find answers to the Tree of Harmony’s mystery chest. They both discovered a hidden chamber behind a bookcase where the Princesses' journal was found. According to the journal, the trapdoors and slides were built for the Sisters' entertainment.
In the case of Applejack and Rainbow Dash, there was a competition between the two for 'Most Daring Pony.' In fact, this little competition has been going on for quite a while already and they agreed to go here in an attempt to settle the score. In the end, Pinkie Pie claimed that the two competitors were tied. In a way, this reminded Edward of the sparring matches he and Alphonse used to have since his rehabilitation from automail surgery. Every single match they had, he lost to his younger brother. That was until they both had a match together in Central City Hospital where he finally beat Alphonse after a heated dispute. After a moment of reminiscence, he sat on the recliner as he skimmed through the pages of the mystery book he picked up earlier. The foreign text still had him in a state of confusion.
As he made another attempt to decipher any of the text, Twilight talked with her friends about writing a journal of their own the same way Celestia and Luna did when they both lived in this castle long ago. Hopefully, they can publish their journal in the future so other ponies can learn from their experience. The rest of her friends mutually agreed with smiles on their faces. When the conversation was done, she walked over to the human and sat next to him.
"By the way, where did you find that?"
"There was a passageway leading down to a small room underneath the old throne room. I saw a mural of some sort and this book down there. I don't even know what the title of the book is nor its author. Its front hardcover has since been missing."
"Yeah, I noticed the damage," She lightly frowned looking at the current condition of the reading material on the human's lap. A new idea then entered her mind and she smiled with anticipation, "Ed, if you don't mind, I like to know more about your alchemy."
"Of course, I don't mind at all," The young alchemist answered as he closed the book and watched the lavender alicorn levitate a quill and a piece of paper in front of her. Her friends gathered around them as they were just as curious.
"Ready when you are."
"Alchemy is based on understanding, deconstructing, and reconstructing matter. You can't create anything out of nothing. You can't gain anything unless you give something up in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That's alchemy's Law of Equivalent Exchange."
"Hm… Lose something to gain something if I’m readin' you correctly," Applejack scratched her chin.
Edward nodded his head in confirmation before he continued, "In order to perform alchemy, a transmutation circle is required, which is the basis of alchemy. It can be drawn on the spot with any writing utensil and even with blood or simply draw on the dirt or sand. It can also be drawn at any time beforehand which depends on the situation you might find yourself in," He paused and looked over at Twilight as she wrote down notes.
"Go on," She begged with a smile.
He stood up from the recliner and noticed some loose rocks that dotted the room. He picked up the nearest one and picked it up before he used it as a makeshift utensil to draw on the floor. Twilight and her friend watched him with puzzled looks on their faces. Edward finished and showed them his drawing in question. It was a circular drawing with an inner circle containing a triangle. Each side of the triangle contained another drawn triangle.
"This is an example of a transmutation circle," The young alchemist introduced to his friends. He then placed his left hand on it as it glowed with light blue sparks. A few seconds later, a small figurine version of Twilight appeared where the circle used to be, "In fact, this was my transmutation circle when I first started using alchemy when I was younger."
Angel hopped over to the freshly transmuted figurine and looked at it with curiosity.
Although they were already aware during their search for the Princesses and the Tree of Harmony, Twilight and her friends were still impressed with the human's alchemic abilities. Like the time when his red coat was fixed, it seemed like alchemy can be used for practical purposes, not just for fighting as they had already witnessed.
The lavender alicorn continued to jot down more notes on the subject. Her face was filled with nothing but enthusiasm and determination to learn more, "I can't believe I'm getting first-hoof information on alchemy, Ed. I have a feeling I might end up publishing more than one book involving all this!"
Edward turned his head toward Twilight to see an ecstatic expression on her face. It reminded him of how he felt when he and his brother were taken in to study alchemy under their teacher's tutelage long ago. It felt as though it was only yesterday that the brothers spent an entire month on that one, particular island...
"I just realized something..." Twilight paused from writing down her notes and looked up at the human, "Those few times we saw you use alchemy, including just now. I noticed there was a gaping hole on the ground. Why is that?"
"Yeah, what gives?" Asked Rainbow Dash.
"That's because Equivalent Exchange came into play," Edward answered.
Twilight and her friends raised their eyebrows as they attempted to grasp the vague answer given to them.
"As I mentioned earlier, you can't gain anything out of nothing. Think about the time I transmuted that earthen column as a demonstration of alchemy to the Princesses. How about when we had to deal with that cragadile and those plants? Just think back to the condition of the ground again."
The ponies, including Spike, thought back to the events mentioned as they tried to remember every bit of information possible. Something did happen to the ground during Edward's alchemic transmutations.
"Now that you mentioned it, dear," Rarity spoke. "Twilight was right. When you performed alchemy those times, it looked like the ground was suddenly caving in."
Edward smiled hearing the fashionista mare's observation and nodded his head in affirmation, "Exactly. The ground below me had to give some of itself up for me to transmute that column. That's Alchemy's Law of Equivalent Exchange at work."
"Ed," Twilight gasped as she remembered another memory, "I still remember when you fixed your red coat. You said its fabric thinned out a little to replace the sleeve that was previously torn apart. I say that's another example of Equivalent Exchange, isn't it?"
"You got that one right, Twilight."
The lavender alicorn smiled with glee as she wrote down more information in her notes. She still had a hard time believing she was learning about a subject that almost looked like Equestrian magic, but it was not. She knew the Princesses were just curious about alchemy as anypony else, she was looking forward to eventually sending them a letter about her findings in the subject at hoof. She was a little disappointed that she was unable to find anything in the castle that had anything to do with the chest from the Tree of Harmony or the six keys needed for it.
It felt as though time flew by quickly and everypony lost track of it while being inside the Castle of the Two Sisters. It was already the middle of the night as they walked out of the ruins. It might have taken them around twenty to thirty minutes to return to Ponyville. Most stores were already closed or at least ready to close for the night. Eventually, they were at the front door of the Golden Oak Library.
"Boy, wasn't our time at the old castle an experience or what?" Asked Rainbow Dash.
"I have a feeling we might go back over yonder one of these days," Applejack answered as she raised an eyebrow toward the cyan pegasus.
Pinkie Pie giggled with excitement, "It was a blast!"
"I thought I would lose Angel over there the whole time," Fluttershy added with a light chuckle.
"I said once and I'll say it again," Rarity had a roll of tapestry hovering over her head with her horn, "I will return this piece right where I found it as soon as I restore it to its former glory."
"I'm glad everypony enjoyed it there." Twilight nodded in agreement before nudging Spike, "Especially with scary stories involved."
"Oh don't rub it in, Twilight," The purple dragon lightly blushed and rolled his eyes in embarrassment.
Edward listened to the conversation while he remained silent the whole time. They sounded lively and enthusiastic about what they have already done. In fact, that was something he noticed not too long ago. It felt different from Amestris. It may take some time for him to get used to if he really was stuck in Equestria. Still, why was he here instead of being trapped in the Portal of Truth for life? It looked like there was more to that void than he experienced. Was the Portal connected to other dimensions and realities? Then again, he, along with Ling and Envy, was able to escape Gluttony's stomach through the Portal. Still, there had to be a reason behind his presence in Equestria. Did Truth take pity on him and threw him here or… Did he end up in this reality at random…?
"Edward..."
A small voice called out to the alchemic prodigy from his train of thought. It was the yellow pegasus mare with her pet bunny on her back. Rarity was also beside them.
"Rarity and I are still sorry for not being able to find you until you found all of us with Pinkie playing the organ."
"She's right, dear. I can't imagine how you were feeling when you were separated from us."
Edward rubbed his forehead for a moment before he spoke, "Girls, I told you already. It's not a big deal. I've been through much worse situations than simply being lost in thousand-year-old ruins."
"Still," the fashionista unicorn spoke again, "Considering that you're fairly new here in Equestria, Fluttershy and I can't help but think we failed to be responsible for your safety. You could have gotten injured or knocked unconscious from falling debris anywhere in the castle after we accidentally separated."
"Or worse, one of your prosthetic limbs could have fallen apart on you all of a sudden," The yellow pegasus added.
The blonde human heaved an annoyed sigh before he kneeled in front of the two mares, "Listen, don't dwell on any of it. I made it out perfectly fine, didn't I? As a matter of fact, everything that happened the whole time we were all at the Castle of the Two Sisters turned out fine for all of us."
The concerned expressions on the two ponies were replaced with relief and enthusiasm. Without warning, they threw themselves onto Edward in a group hug, which knocked him backward onto the ground much to his annoyance. He could have sworn he heard Angel snickering.
"What's with these ponies and their hugs? Is this a norm for Equestria or something...?"
Everypony else stood nearby and lightly laughed at Edward's reaction to the hug he received from Fluttershy and Rarity. Soon, both mares released themselves from the hug, allowing him to return to his feet and dusted himself off, and picked up his recently acquired book.
"Anyway, whatever next adventure we'll all have together, I hope it doesn't involve another castle that's long since abandoned."
"You and me both, Ed," Spike agreed with a chuckle.
"Edward, I nearly forgot to mention earlier," Rarity called out, acquiring the human's attention. "I happen to be working on another outfit for you. Now with your updated measurements, it will be dramatically improved."
"Really? Thanks, Rarity. I know I told you I needed just simple clothes. Nothing too flashy or anything, but you didn't have to go that far to make me another outfit besides the one I'm wearing now."
"Trust me, darling. It's really nothing. Since you're a newcomer in Equestria, I personally want to make sure you look your best."
The fashionista unicorn's justification left the human alchemic prodigy speechless. He did not know what else to say as he scratched his cheek. Despite the questionable glares from almost everypony he came across so far, Twilight and her friends, including the Princesses, were the only ones who accepted him for who he was. Roseluck may more than likely be on the same boat as them since he helped her with her damaged carriage on the way to the Boutique earlier today.
"It's getting late, everypony," Twilight said as she unlocked the door to the library and opened it, "I'm sure the rest of you are tired also, right?"
"No need to tell me twice, Twilight. I'm heading home now. See ya later," Rainbow Dash yawned before she flew off.
"Night, Rainbow Dash! Night, everypony else!" Pinkie Pie was next to leave the group as she waved farewell before hopping away towards the direction of Sugar Cube Corner.
Applejack was about to leave for the night, but a certain thought stopped her from moving any further. "Now hang on a sec... I just noticed something about your alchemy, Ed."
The blonde human was already in front of the doorway until his name was mentioned by the farm mare.
"You said you need a transmutation circle doohickey for it. If so, then how in tarnation were you able to use alchemy without it?"
The remaining ponies brought their attention to Edward upon realization of the question she asked. It was a certain detail none of them noticed until now. He hung his head a bit as his bangs blocked his vision which helped avoid eye contact with any of them.
"I guess you can say it's something you learn when you see the truth."
"Dammit, this can't be happening!! It can't be..."
“No, dammit... You won’t take him too...”
“Just give him back. He’s my little brother! He’s all I have left!!”
"I take that back... For your sake, it's best you never see it at all," He answered as he walked inside.
With that conclusion, Twilight and her friends watched Edward walk through the doorway into Golden Oak Library. They then turned around and looked at Applejack with confused looks.
"Uh... With that look on his face, I think I accidentally opened an old wound..."
"Now that you mentioned it," Rarity responded to the farm mare's comment and motioned everypony, to come close to her, "There's something I have to tell you about Edward, but quietly. I hope he doesn't overhear us."
"I'm pretty sure he's about to hit the hay real soon," Spike assured his friends as he looked up at one of the windows of the library. There were no lights coming from any of them. The blonde human was probably in the shower or something...
"Yes, Twilight did mention that it's getting late after all," The fashionista brought herself back on topic. "Anyway, while I was remeasuring him earlier back at the Boutique, I can't help but notice something... Something dreaded."
"Wait, what happened?" Twilight asked.
"Nothing bad happened between us if that’s what you’re worried about… It's not that at all, it’s his body… It’s filled with a myriad of scars. There's one that looked like he was slashed on his left shoulder. A similar one on the left side of his abdomen, but that's not the only one in that particular area... There's one more that looked like something went right through his body."
Twilight, Applejack, and Spike gasped in shock from this revelation. However, Fluttershy stood beside them quietly.
"Um... I saw those too, Rarity." The yellow pegasus mare softly spoke out, "Remember when you were making an outfit for Edward hours before we headed to Canterlot for the Summer Sun Celebration? I was tending to his wounds when I saw the scars. Personally, I don't think it was the best idea to ask him about them."
"Thank you for your input, Fluttershy. Beside his prosthetic limbs and the surgical scars that came with them, I can't imagine what Edward has been through until he arrived here."
"He did say he's been through much worse if that's any hint. Those scars and limbs do give us some hints for it."
Little did any of them knew, Edward was looking down at them from the guest room window. He used the darkness of the room to keep himself hidden. He was not sure what Twilight and her friends were talking about, but it appeared to be a last-minute conversation before they called it in for the night.
He walked away from the window and sat on the bed. He had since settled down as he wore a simple white, sleeveless shirt and a pair of boxer shorts. The young alchemist thought about everything that had already happened since the moment he woke up in the Castle of the Two Sisters. Being thrown in another dimension was one thing, but the last thing he expected was to become friends with a group of talking, technicolor ponies who happen to be known as heroes of this land and wielded legendary gems. In fact, nearly everyone he met so far was ponies. Twilight did mention there were other non-ponies who lived here as well. There were, but not limited to, dragons, griffins, changelings, zebras, and yaks. Ponyville, the Everfree Forest, and Canterlot were scratches on the surface. There were a lot of things and places Equestria had to offer which he had yet had the chance to experience.
And then there was that old book and the mural he found. The latter had an almost striking resemblance to the mural from Xerxes Ruins and the nationwide transmutation circle around Amestris. It just happened to have a symbol similar to Twilight’s cutie mark and six gems with the same color scheme as the Elements of Harmony. Magic was the norm for Equestria, right…? Then why were there contents in the book similar to Amestrian alchemy? Edward lightly jabbed the side of his head in frustration in an attempt to connect the dots.
“I guess I can talk to Twilight about this tomorrow if she’s not too busy trying to figure out that chest from the Tree of Harmony…”
Edward quietly sighed and laid down on the bed. As he made himself comfortable, he stared at the ceiling. He began to think about his past… The old life he irreversibly left behind…
Alphonse…
Winry…
“If you believe the possibility exists in getting your bodies back, you should seek it out. Keep moving. Whatever it takes, even if the way ahead lies in a river of blood.”
“Survival is the only way, Ed. Live on. Learn more about alchemy. You can find a way to get our bodies back and help people like Nina. You can’t do that by dying!”
"You boys have to keep moving forward, anyway you can."
“The next time I make you cry, I hope it will be tears of joy, and Al and I will be back in our normal bodies. I'll make you cry out of sheer happiness! That’s a promise!!”
"You've got people you love waiting for you, don't you? So just make it back alive..."
“You need to look after your brother, Ed. You need to get your bodies back. You better get to it. You got plenty of people waiting for that day.”
The blonde human covered his eyes with his mismatched hands in painful frustration. He was frustrated over the bitter fact that he let so many people he knew down. He may have brought his younger brother back in the flesh and blood, but at what cost? Edward gave up his own body and soul. Was that too much? What could he have done differently that time? The more he dwelled on it, the heavier his eyes became. Eventually, he found himself asleep.
Nothing… There was nothing but a black void around him. Edward walked forward as he attempted to make sense of it all. Something felt odd here but the empty void was not the only thing that concerned him somehow. He then froze in place and immediately turned around. Something or better yet, someone was indeed here with him. The figure sitting on the floor in front of him appeared malnourished… Nothing but skin and bones. Pale skin, long, ungroomed blonde hair, and golden eyes. Edward couldn't help but gasp in shock and disbelief at who it was.
“Al…?”
The alchemic prodigy extended his left arm toward his younger brother as they exchanged eye contact. At the moment his hand touched his right shoulder, Alphonse turned into nothing but dust which caught him by surprise.
Then, another figure stood in front of him. He had long, blonde hair, pale skin, and a lean and fit body with a cloth wrapped around his waist.
“No… It can’t be!” Edward gasped in horror when recognized the figure. The mastermind who was responsible for the destruction of Xerxes… Along with the creation of Amestris’ nationwide transmutation circle and the bloodshed that occurred throughout the nation’s history. It was Father.
Another thing caught his eye. There were bodies… Blood-soaked human bodies lie lifelessly not only by his feet but the Homunculus' as well. Even worse, he recognized a decent number of them.
“What’s going on here…?”
Colonel Mustang…. Lieutenant Hawkeye… Major Armstrong... Zampano... Mister Gorilla... Teacher… Ling… Lan Fan… Mei… Hohenheim… Scar… Granny… Winry!? What just happened?
Father glared at him with a malicious smirk and lifted his right arm forward with his palm facing upward. Red sparks flared from it.
Edward started gasping for air as the red sparks surrounded him. His soul was being harvested to create a Philosopher's Stone. Did he not beat the Homunculus and saved Amestris not long ago…? Why was he back? This can’t be real… None of this should!
Just when he was about to blackout while he saw Father’s smirk become wider with anticipation, a dark-blue aura suddenly hit the Homunculus which freed Edward from his life-taking grasp. As the human alchemist regained his ability to breathe again, the bodies faded and the surrounding dark void turned into a white counterpart similar to the Portal of Truth. He looked around wondering what just happened while he sat there in further confusion.
“The nightmare has ceased. There is nothing for you to be afraid of now, Edward Elric.”
A familiar, feminine voice rang from nowhere. A moment later, a dark blue alicorn with a wavy, transparent light blue mane and tail materialized in front of him as it walked towards him.
“P-Princess Luna...?”
“I see you still remembered me.”
“It wasn’t too long ago when I met you and your sister at the Tree of Harmony after Twilight and her friends freed you both. Also later during the Summer Sun Celebration in Canterlot... But what are you doing here? And didn’t you just say this was a nightmare?”
“Indeed I already said this was a nightmare you were experiencing. Since I am in charge of the night sky over Equestria, I can enter anypony’s dreams at any time during the night,” The Princess of the Moon answered. “I just happened to come across your dream. Judging what I have witnessed, this was by far the darkest and most horrifying one yet.”
“Yeah… It’s not all happy and full of cheer as you’re probably used to,” Edward scratched his head before he heaved a sigh. He then noticed the Princess gave him a skeptical gaze. That was when he realized one certain detail, “Then again, Twilight told me you were banished to the Moon for a thousand years. You returned some time ago. That must have been rough.”
“Yes, it was. Although I am grateful that Twilight and her friends rid me of Nightmare Moon, a part of me still regrets letting that monster take control of me. My jealousy over my sister paved the way for my banishment….”
Despite having already been told of the story of Luna’s banishment and return by the lavender-coated alicorn, hearing the story from the Princess of the Night herself felt surprisingly refreshing for the prodigal alchemist.
“Alas, the past cannot be undone. I must learn from my horrible mistakes for a better future. I expect you to do the same, Edward Elric.”
Edward’s eyes widened with shock from the Princess’s last sentence. What could she possibly be getting at? “What do you mean?”
Her teal blue eyes looked back at his golden eyes as she glared sternly. Her glare eventually softened and stayed quiet for a moment before she spoke, “Your eyes… I can tell they’re filled with pain, remorse, and anguish.”
The blonde human stood quietly as she continued to explain herself.
“Those eyes of yours indicated that you endured a harsh life, especially for somepony as young as you.”
Their surroundings began to materialize in reflection of events from Edward’s memories.
“My brother and I committed an alchemic taboo several years ago. Our mother passed away and we attempted to resurrect her. In the end, we both paid a terrible price for it. I lost my left leg while my brother lost his entire body. I immediately became desperate to save him, so I placed his disembodied soul into a suit of armor at the cost of my right arm.”
Luna did nothing but allow the visions of the human’s past to unfold in front of them, “Hm…That explains your metal appendages and alchemy seems to have some unpleasant secrets of its own,” she stated as visions of his memories also contained the darkest moments of his life. “But what about your father? Don’t you have one?”
He winced in constraint at the mention of Hohenheim and looked away from the alicorn princess, “He left us long before our mother passed away. If he never left, he would have been there for her.”
She sensed a hint of anger in his voice when he answered, “Perhaps there was a justification for him to leave you?”
“Yes, there was. But that’s another story… After numerous chains of events, I was able to bring Al back to normal. It came with a price for me. Now I feel as though it was a foolish choice for me to do so.”
“And why is that, Edward?”
“I made the decision to give up my own body and soul to bring him back. The next thing I knew, I woke up here in Equestria at the ancient castle you and your sister used to live in. Since then, I can’t help but dwell on the possibility that my brother resents me for my choice after all we’ve been through together. All I did, in the end, was break one too many promises to too many people, and now… Now I have no way to make amends with all of them.”
Luna’s thoughts on Edward’s remorse and anguish had been confirmed. He may be around the same age as Twilight Sparkle and her friends and had a set of skills that were totally foreign to Equestria but unlike them, he endured a soul-crushing, harsh life where at one point or two, he could have died. Now he was cut off from everypony he knew with no way to reach out to them and potential resentment from the only family he had left weighed him down further.
Seeing his head hanging downward, she placed her forehoof under his chin and lifted his head up. A calm and comforting expression dawned on her face as the two made eye contact.
“Listen to me, Edward Elric. I told you already that the past cannot be undone. You may no longer have the chance to reconcile with your friends, especially your brother. Even I cannot do the same with my own friends who have since passed on after my sister banished me. Even after my banishment, ponies were still afraid of me because I was once Nightmare Moon. But Twilight Sparkle and her friends helped me become a better pony and I was once again accepted by everypony else because of them. I’m absolutely certain they’re doing the same thing with you as they did me.”
He hung his mouth in awe from the Moon Princess’ story. In the case of Twilight and her friends, she was right. Each and every one of them accepted him because he helped them by saving the lavender alicorn twice and finding the Tree of Harmony. The six mares, including Spike, were his friends now. Even Rarity trusted him enough to be able to make a new wardrobe for him, including letting him join her and Fluttershy in helping her find ancient tapestries from the Castle of the Two Sisters.
“Do not let the burdens of your past hold you down while it takes control of your future. Twilight and her friends are there for you when you feel the need to talk to them, Edward. It is obvious they already accepted you as their friend.”
The boy nodded his head in affirmation, “You’re right. I can’t just wallow in self-pity behind their backs. It’s time I make new promises now. I managed to make a new group of friends here in Equestria already. I should make and keep promises for them. Honestly, I don’t know what promises I would have but I’m sure I’ll make one along the way. Hell, I’ll make something out of myself here in Equestria as well.”
“A wise decision,” Luna smiled with approval, “I knew you would agree with me in this matter. Also, I do hope your adjustment to life in Equestria is going smoothly. So far, I believe very few of my subjects do not mind your unusual presence while many are still unsure about you or have yet to be aware of you. In due time, the rest will be bound to treat you as one of their own.”
“Yeah, still a bit tough for the time being. I still get weird looks everywhere. Well… At least around Ponyville.”
“Things will change for the better. I’m sure of it. Even my sister believes so,” She placed her forehoof on his shoulder in assurance and smiled. She then took a few steps away and took flight, “I shall leave you be, Edward Elric. Let us see each other again next time. It’s almost time for my sister to raise the Sun."
As the Princess of the Night flew further, a blinding light showered the former State Alchemist’s surroundings…
Edward quickly opened his eyes and found himself staring at the ceiling from his bed. He sat up and noticed that it was daytime from the window. He then checked the time on his pocket watch on top of the nightstand. It was a little past eight in the morning. The blonde human sat quietly as another thought entered his mind.
“That dream… It went from a nightmare to a weird dream so quickly…”
Was Princess Luna a fabricated figure of his imagination or was she really there with him? Her words of advice sounded genuine coming from a dream. Then again, this was Equestria. Things were different here than back in his original reality. Clearly, there were a lot of things he had yet to discover in this new world. This included the mystery book he found back at the Castle of the Two Sisters.
“Almost forgot about that! I should talk to Twilight about it. The chest from the Tree of Harmony may still be a priority for her, but I’m sure she would like to see the book I found.”
With that plan in mind, Edward stepped out of bed and prepared for the day ahead of him.