Hello, my name is Sam. I was in an accident and wake up in the hospital thinking i was very lucky to survive. But life has other plan, now i am a pony, atleast i am a magical unicorn and the twin sister of Twilight Sparkle. Hmmm, why does that sound familiar to me? Nevermind, let's my new life begin.
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Please... please get an editor. There are a lot of grammer errors and it hurts to read sometimes. Otherwise it is a good story idea and I hope midnight sparkle becomes evil.
That's hilarious! I love it.
You need me to learn how to do English better. It just takes practice bud, keep trying!
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Thank, I will keep trying. Some words are from Google translate.
Ah, trusty truck-kun. He always there to help you get to the other side.
Feels a bit rushed, but not bad. Now you only need desire to keep going and a plan. Hope you have one.
Good story can't wait for the next chapter
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I will try. I have the idea but don't have the time. I am still in school. Today is a holiday in my country so i am writing chapter 2 right now.
11208771
I see that you are a pony of culture.
ih1.redbubble.net/image.761262054.2536/flat,750x,075,f-pad,750x1000,f8f8f8.jpg
this is a story about twilight loving her self https://www.fimfiction.net/story/continue/9562
i will gently leave it here.... for reference.
The chapters good but I did see some little grammar here and there but nothing that can't be fixed and since you said English isn't your first language it's understandable but still keep up the good work
I wonder what will happen next
Great chapter keep up the good work
please keep nightmare moon. it's going to be fun to see her react to celestia's mismanagements.
Well, this is going to make things more complex later.
I have to say, you're doing a fantastic job especially if English is not your first language. Mostly what can be improved are small quality of life things; for example, ("Well, that explain(s) something.") We need an 'S' on the verb Explain because the identifier "that" is singular. There were several examples of this.
Another would be verb tenses, which are a pain in the ass even for me, "I honestly just meet(Met) you." Meet is present tense Met is past tense. There were a couple others like this.
Possessives, while basic, can become confusing if left out in certain circumstances so just keep an eye out for those, "Celestia('s) understanding of dark magic is very poor." The apostrophe (') is key in that.
Do be very careful with possessives vs plurals 's', however, and just be deliberate when you include either.
But all that to say, none of these errors kept me from understanding the story, so excellent job so far. So, do what you can, improve where possible, and keep up the good work.
I liked this chapter keep up the good work can't wait to see what happens next
Yes, please keep nightmare moon, btw i’m pun…if u know what i mean 🥹
I think ponyville will be good for both of them. It's plain that midnight due to her past life which she remembers has little social experience and between her magic and her looks nobody really trust her outside the family. Plus twilight has no friends her own age outside the family. And personally if shining can't offer a better way to solve the problem then he should shut his mouth.
I really do Like this story.
Too much jumping around that first part. Suggest redoing that part
Neednto add in some words like minutes. It sounds like Twilights parents just left the room and decided at that point to adopt. Pacing needs work.
Loving so far. A bit short in the chapters but over all loving it
I liked this chapter keep up the good work I can already see that the story has a bright future of course that's my own personal thoughts
I think I would suggest that spellcheck would help you. Most of the errors are small, and a program like Microsoft Word or Google Documents could easily help fix them. You're doing a good job for having English as a second language.
Added to my read list.
Lots of grammar mistakes but there is a lotta soul here.
Was hoping shining got pulled in the dance
is this dead?
Any hope?
Weak story for me, very weak. "We're...Twins...yes...twins..." By Questionable Brony, will be much more interesting to read.
I wonder when the next chapter will come
Author, we are still waiting next chapter
So, green is smugness.
Like if you get that reference.
Rats! Now the reference doesn't work anymore.
Better than Fen.
Like if you get that reference.
We all fear something, Twilight.
There's a lot of love in this story but it's too rushed and there are too many spelling and grammar errors for me to want to continue. I wish you the best of luck, Gogonic.
Hope you keep going on this
This is literally one of my favorite stories! PLEASE I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!!
hay update it
