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Justice3442


Horrifically Fun

T
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Twilight Sparkle has cast loose the magic of Equestria and has been corrupted into a being that craves knowledge, no matter the cost. So, it’s up to Sunset Shimmer to save the day, right?

Yeah, about that…

Thanks to Tired Old Man, Nova Quill/Firimil, and
Steel Resolvefor their edits and suggestions!

Wonderful cover art by shonuff44!

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 214 )

One of the BEST stories on fimfiction!

Shining Armor removed his hands and waved one about dismissively. “You know what? I’m sure you got it handled.”

“I’ve barely had a handle on anything literally all day,” Daydream admitted dryly.

"That's barely more of a handle than anyone in our family has."

I'd hoped someone would write a story based on that image. I should've known it'd be you, and I mean that in the best way. Brilliant logic with making Sunny Flare the responsible Shadowbolt. Eagerly looking forward to more. Here's hoping that space-time rift doesn't grow out of control during the playdate.

Comment posted by gchamp89 deleted January 14th

What the hell did I just read. There. Now that I've fulfilled an apparent contractual obligation, this was a hilarious read! :pinkiecrazy:

This chapter was hilarious.

I was actually thinking of writing a story about this. Beat me to it.

9403336
Nova posted the image on Skype, I think I was writing this within the hour.

I have no idea what the actual hay I just read, but I absolutely LOVE IT!!! And it's marked incomplete! MORE!!!

Now we need a unnecessary continuation of this...

“You’ll have a whole new world to explore and defile as you see fit!” Her grin grew wider. “I’m not even going to bring any plastic bags! Muhahahaha!”

How evil.

“You seem to be dealing with a lot of pent up emotions over there!”

“What in the ASS, Twilight Sparkle?!” a woman’s voice called out.

She's mad.

No sooner was the courtyard clear of waves of pure magical energy than a woman’s call of “Gosh darn it! She made me say the ‘A’ word!” could be heard above the din.

Daydream gave Midnight a sideways look as she too lowered herself to the ground. “Did… did you just invoke the demon king of math?!”

That's a THING?

“Hey! You transform into a demon, you’ve got some questions!” Daydream quipped. “Books seemed to have a lot more answers than priests and they’re far less likely to douse you in holy water!”

You make a valid point.

“Spike, Mom throws you out when you bark at her when she’s upset with me. What do you think is going to happen if you actually back-sass her?”

Spike frowned heavily as his ears dropped around his head. “I’m going to see if any squirrels are getting too close to the car!” Spike announced before he began trotting away.

That is a very valid decision.

Pinkie gasped. “That sounds at least 10 times worse than a murder!”

It's infinitely worse. Quite literally. So, you are technically correct. The best kind of correct.

Twilight Velvet cleared the distance between Midnight and Daydream in a second and glared up at the seven-foot-tall, floating angelic figure of a woman. “Are you suggesting there’s something wrong with my daughter?!”

She tried to commit Omnicide.

Twilight Velvet considered this for a moment then took a few steps forward and extended her hand. “It’s alright, you have an honest face.”

That's, a new one.

“Oh… uh… Thanks!” Daydream replied she craned her way one way than the other, examining her own attire. “I think it’s made out of magic and sunlight?”

Despite it being currently being overcast.

“Ow! Ow! OW! But I was going to mold reality into my plaything and rule the multiverse!” Whined Midnight Sparkle as she flailed impotently against her mother’s grasp.

Technically, I think you were going to go around destroying dimension after dimension for knowledge.

“That is not an acceptable activity for a woman your age to engage in!”

Is it ever an acceptable activity for ANYONE of ANY age?

A light-purple pony with a burnt-orange mane tied into one massive braid took one look on the people on the other side of the portal and let out a shriek. She immediately dove to the other side of a large metal counter and began to rant to herself, “I haven’t done any studies on this! I haven’t done any studies on this, at all!”

I don't know who you are.

Daydream’s forehead tightened. “Okay, but how is anyone supposed to show you it’s not 100% bad if you don’t—”

Don't bother.

“Kinda a big deal?!” Lemon Zest replied in disbelief. “Duuuude, I got a front row seat to a near apocalypse! This was the most metal, and therefore BEST, day of my life!”

You are insane.

Midnight’s eyes narrowed. “Well, you can ask Principal Cinch about that. Shiny and Cadance, while you’re at it, too!”

Oh boy!

“But it was important!” Principal Cinch insisted, a look of genuine fear on her face. “The Pride of Crystal Prep was at stake!”

NOBODY CARES, WOMAN! It's a SPORTS COMPETITION BETWEEN HIGH SCHOOLERS!

“Ow!” Principal Cinch exclaimed as she rushed a palm to her struck cheek. “Dean Cadance! What is the meaning of this?!”

Go fuck yourself, that's the meaning of it.

“Oh, please,” Cadance said with a Cheshire grin. “You really think the board is going to let you stay on after multiple students and members of staff come forward to explain you pressured a student into dangerous actions that might have destroyed the entire planet? Go ahead, plead your case before you resign. I dare you. I double dare you, motherfucker!”

Plead your case even one goddamn time!

“File that under ‘first thing I fix when I’m Principal’,” she muttered to herself.

Why DO women's clothings never have pockets? It feels like a serious design oversight.

“DEAN CADANCE!” Principal Cinch yelled. “This behavior is inexcusable.”

How's the view from your GLASS HOUSE?

“It was love at first sight,” Sugarcoat insisted. “But also death at first ride,” she lamented.

... You worry me.

Celestia thought for a moment. “Also, by all accounts, it was a student at Crystal Prep who is the cause of this mess and, specifically, your daughter.”

That was a VERY poor choice of words.

“I-you-fucking-Cunt-whore-SHIT!” Twilight Velvet yelled angrily as she stamped a foot down on the ground.

I rest my case.

Daydream frowned heavily to herself. “I’ve had better days… I mean… much worse, too… but… loads of better ones.”

That is not hard.

Principal Cinch glared through her spectacles at Celestia. “Your students likewise displayed magical abilities! How is this all to be laid at my feet?!”

Because SHE didn't pressure a student into nearly comitting OMNICIDE.

Cinch simply nodded. “And yet your school still lingers in performance behind Crystal Prep. It’s clear your students are not pushing themselves to their full potential and that the staff, specifically the Principal of this school is to blame.”

I don't say this often, but you're a stupid fucking cunt.

Cinch couldn’t help but smirk. “Well, I just know if someone more qualified was guiding these children, they’d be able to explore their abilities without the concerns of their staff dropping the ball and allowing such disasters to happen.”

And who'd that be, YOU?

Cinch scoffed. “As if you have the clout to—”

‘SLAM!’

There was the slight sound of something crunching as Celestia’s fist hit open jaw.

She absolutely does.

“Well, now that THAT barbarism is out of the wa—”

‘POW!’

Hey, don't you insult Barbarians!

“Take a hit,” Celestia said with a smile that was making violent promises. “Be somebody, baby.”

Ooh! I'm putting 5€ on Celestia!

“How should I know?!” Daydream snapped back. “Twilight’s mom said ‘magic time out’! Remember? Just… put a blanket over it, or something!”

She's not here right now.

Rarity looked to the tear in reality, which clearly lead to a curious shot that was equal parts lab equipment and carpets. “You want us to just… ‘cover up’ the extra-dimensional hole in existence… with a blanket?” she asked indignantly.

Apparently.

Daydream cringed. “That is such a ‘you’ answer that it hurts my magically imbued soul, AJ,” Daydream said before an all-too-familiar line hit her ears.

HAH!

“Probably?!” the pony shot back. “There is at least one pet bear in town and a bunch of bears in the magical forest of DEATH this village is set next to! Statistically, my chances of bear-related death go up significantly if I go outside! Now, THIS I’ve done studies on!”

That's technically correct.

“Dude, can that happen?!” Lemon Zest exclaimed excitedly. “Are their MORE science-magic compacts?! Asking for a friend.”

No.

“You’re the least tropey of the bunch!” Daydream called out. “And, therefore, the most sane and likely to step in before they do something totally banana-shoes. So hop-to and do some damage control!”

She has a point.

“Because I proved my academic intelligence over you AND am clearly physically more apt currently due to magic, by Crystal Prep rules, you have no choice.”

She has you there.

Daydream motioned in the direction of the parking lot. “Applejack, she saw everything! EV-ER-Y-THING! And that crazy bitch STILL dragged a magically charged Twilight Sparkle off to the parking lot to have a WORD with her instead of letting someone who CLEARLY has a lot more magical know-how fix this situation.” Daydream let out another sigh. “The stupid idiot...”

Yeah.

Twilight Velvet just smiled. “It’s fine… really…”

I disagree QUITE strongly.

“Okay! How about… nowish?!” Twilight Velvet asked, unable to hide her giddy excitement. “Does nowish work for you?!”

I'm, all for shipping but, what?

“What do you think I was doing!” Daydream said. “But that’s a concept, not a plan! We can’t just apply friendship liberally to the problem area and hope it goes away!”

Tell that to to Princess Twilight.

“So… if you’re saying if I just make friends I’ll stop having an unquenchable desire to control my surroundings and force people to conform to my ideals?!” Starlight Glimmer asked, hope permeating through her tone.

Kinda.

“When we’re one event from winning I am!” Rainbow replied.

For fuck's sake!

“Yay!” Shining Armor called out as he came bounding up to the group. He took a moment to stare at the towering amazon of a woman in front of him, place his arms on her shoulders, and give her a very serious look. “You take good care of my sister, alright?”

Is this really the time?

“I’ve barely had a handle on anything literally all day,” Daydream admitted dryly.

That, yes.

“When you gotta go, you gotta go.”

A fair point.

“T-that’s okay!” Twilight Velvet said hastily. “You two can’t help who you are!”

You scare me.

“Mom, we’re both imbued with magical energies that have basically turned us into demigods! I’m reasonably certain that in the event of a crash this car will break before us, assuming I don’t have time to open a portal in front of us to avoid it to begin with.” Midnight asserted in an irritated tone.

She has a point.

“Do you girls need more space back there?!” Night Light asked.

YES.

“Well, too bad,” Night Light replied, grumbling something about “Shoulda given me a ride, then…” under his breath. With that, he shifted the car into drive and drove it towards destiny.

Destiny huh?

(Y'know, if this was 1 word longer, it'd be an even 7K.)

I call a vote on making Justice3442 pay a dollar into the Saidisms jar every time he uses 'quipped' in a sentence. All in favor?

...I think this is one of the more crack-ier fics you've written. And the Season 7 finale story in the MADverse got pretty cracky.

I absolutely NEED to see how far down this rabbit-hole goes

Its about to get interesting! Lolol

I don't know what I just read, but I highly approve of all of it.

So Sunset's transformation won't die down until the "friendship problem" is dealt with in an appropriately cinematic fashion? 'twould be amusing if she's just stuck like that due to missing her dramatic cue.

9403367
Whatchu talkin' 'bout? A continuation is ABSOLUTELY necessary!

9403399
It's likely reacting as a balance to Twilight's negative transformation. Which in turn was prompted by Twilight's negative emotions. Given that she is probably expressing pent up nerd rage from years of bullying and not having friends around to relate to her, I can see that lasting a good while.

Yet ANOTHER story where Twilight Velvet is THE heavy hitter

Also;

“Hey! You transform into a demon, you’ve got some questions!” Daydream quipped. “Books seemed to have a lot more answers than priests

usually will

This was absolutely hilarious and so well-written!:rainbowlaugh:

Who was the panicking pony???

9403409

If Midnight remains in the state for too long, she will achieve a limited apotheosis by fiat. At the moment, she is empowered by a random assortment of foreign magics stolen from others. But if her body is given time to adjust, and be adjusted in the way magic usually does, this will become her new "normal". Then she will be stuck, as there will be nothing for the elements, or Sunset, to purify.

And if Sunset's transformation is indeed in reaction to Midnight's, well then she'll have the same problem. Only much quicker, as this power is earned instead of stolen, and thus can be said to rightfully belong to her.

That would be something to see, Sunset and Twilight trying to go through school in a normal fashion, while stuck radiating deific levels of raw magic. That scene at the end of the movie would be hilarious, with Princess Twilight meeting two supremely irritated teenage demigods.

"Oh great, you're here. Do you have any idea how to fix this?"

"It's not a phase, mom!"
Wow, this feels more fitting than usual...

“Oh, sweet Beleth, no,” Midnight murmured as she gently floated back to the ground.

Daydream gave Midnight a sideways look as she too lowered herself to the ground. “Did… did you just invoke the demon king of math?!”

Y'know, it makes entirely too much sense there'd be a demon king of math.

Wasn’t expecting the sketch I commissioned to start a story. Gonna track this for now

Now I’m following this. Great work

9403434
Well... Twilight does have wings when she ponies up...

“How about the S.S. Friendship?” Pinkie offered. “ I mean… it seemed to do the trick all the other times… even if it was friendship violently pointed and shot at someone else those other times!”

“What do you think I was doing!” Daydream said. “But that’s a concept, not a plan! We can’t just apply friendship liberally to the problem area and hope it goes away!”

FriendOn! Apply directly to the forehead!
FriendOn! Apply directly to the forehead!
FriendOn! Apply directly to the forehead!

BTW, it was a pennant they're looking for, not a pendant. As in a flag. :scootangel:

Daydream glanced up. “Uh… we’re kinda destroying the top of the car from the inside back here…”

“T-that’s okay!” Twilight Velvet said hastily. “You two can’t help who you are!”

“...Wow…” Daydream replied. “There’s a lot to unpack from that sentence.”

*spittake*

Brilliantly insane as usual, looking forward to more. XD

9403475
Oh, dude, demons love math. Especially if they can finagle it into their contracts. After all, you can make numbers mean anything if you work at it hard enough.

9403513
Nah, they also wanted a pendant, for superpowers. Pinkie is completely right.

A light-purple pony with a burnt-orange mane tied into one massive braid took one look on the people on the other side of the portal and let out a shriek. She immediately dove to the other side of a large metal counter and began to rant to herself, “I haven’t done any studies on this! I haven’t done any studies on this, at all!”

Is that Panic Station?

9403368
That character is Panic Station, as mentioned here. 9403542. I remember reading a story with her in it, but neither the title nor the author come to mind. The main idea, however, was kind of what you see here. She was so afraid of everything and paranoid, that she rarely ever left the house, and seemed to expect the worst to happen any second.

Oh god, this is going to be gold.

9403475
I just had to look up Beleth and found that he co-authored a math text with Noah’s son. Why does that seem so mundanly weird to me.

Nightlight with the burn at the end

9403357 blinks owlishly a few times you have impressed me so much please write more of this.:fluttershysad::heart:

9403687
I can't speak to when the next chapter will be out exactly, but there's already quite a bit of it written.

“T-that’s okay!” Twilight Velvet said hastily. “You two can’t help who you are!”

“...Wow…” Daydream replied. “There’s a lot to unpack from that sentence.”

pbs.twimg.com/media/DvPLXeVUYAIuNZR.jpg

At this point I'm pretty much reading your work just 'cause you keep writing hilarious stuff. :pinkiehappy:

This is absolutely GLORIOUS :pinkiecrazy:

Sees title.
"Meh"

Reads short description.
"This seems interesting... maybe"

Notices author.
"Oh Hell Yes!" *Bookmarked*

--Spade

9403513
Whoops! Fixed! Thanks! :twilightsmile: Glad you're having a good time!

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why you NEVER fuck with mothers.

This was absolutely brilliant. I really hope to see more of this.

Justice, you just keep knocking them out of the ballpark.

Now we need one with somepony else’s mother.

“If only another pony will accept friendship as well.”  Celestia’s tall form strode across the broken rubble of the ancient castle, stopping in front of a huddled dark pony. “Princess Luna!  It has been a thousand years since I have seen you like this. Time to put our differences behind us. We were meant to rule together, little sister.  Will you accept my friendship?”

Ignoring the astonished gasps from Twilight Sparkle and her friends, the smaller alicorn looked up with tears pouring down her cheeks.  “I’m sorry. I missed you so much, big sister!”

“I've missed you, too,” said Celestia, leaning down to nuzzle a damp cheek against her little sister.

“And you think that’s good enough?”  Twilight turned her head to see a crack open up in reality itself, a blinding gap of pure light that a bipedal figure strode out of.  The creature’s body seemed made out of the cosmic fabric of space itself, embedded with the swirl of stars and distant planets, while her mane flowed down from the top of a very tall head, across her back, and almost to her knees.  She walked with long, slow strides of her two legs, poised and graceful despite the obvious issues of balance, and drew up to a stop in front of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, slowly tapping one bare foot while the two royal alicorns cringed down.

“Mom!” said Celestia with a note of unexpected panic in her voice.  “You said dad wanted to take a vacation of a few thousand years, and that we’d have to—”

“I know what I said,” thundered the heavenly maternal voice.  “Can’t a mother come back home for a few minutes without being questioned?  Particularly since my daughters seem to have messed things up so badly in our absence.”

“I’m sorry,” said Luna, cringing even lower than Celestia, only to let out a yelp of pain when the creature reached down with one hand even faster than Twilight’s eye could see to grab the smaller alicorn by one ear.

“Sorry isn’t good enough,” she snapped.  “Plunging the world into darkness! Fighting with your sister!  We leave behind a perfectly balanced world to find this when we come back!  Your father wants to have some words with you!”

Celestia, taking advantage of her mother’s back being turned in her direction, stuck out her tongue at Luna.  The childish gesture did not go unnoticed, as the creature’s second hand darted out and grasped Princess Celestia, the ruler of Equestria, and Twilight’s treasured teacher just as firmly by the ear and twisted.

“And you, young lady!” she thundered.  “You were supposed to listen to your little sister just as much as your subjects!  She’s your sister, after all. I can’t believe I carried such a disobedient creature in my belly for so long just to have her turn out this way!  Your father will want a word with you too, and I doubt if you’ll be able to sit down for a week! Now come on! Let’s get this over with. And don’t fight it!” she added as the creature stood up and began walking back to the glowing gap in reality with the two struggling alicorns being towed along by their ears.  “Act like adults for a change.”

“She started it!” called out Celestia.

“And I’m finishing it!” snapped the creature.  “Until you get back, and if you get back, I’m going to need somepony else to rule over the ponies for a while.  Like that one, she looks reliable.”

Twilight Sparkle straightened her back and lifted her head as the creature plucked the crown from on top of Celestia’s head and gave it a toss.  “Thank you, Ma’am. I’ll… wait a minute.” She barely noticed as Celestia and Luna, complaining all the way, were hefted through the gap in reality, which closed behind the three of them.  She was too busy looking with wide eyes at where the crown had landed. And which one of her other friends it had landed on.

9403842
Pinkie paused and then shook her head and lifted the crown off her head "Uh Uh, nope, Not gonna do it. If I did, I'd NEVER have any time for parties" she stated before placing the crown on Twilight's head. "Here YOU rule instead, besides you were Celestia's student so you have to know how stuff all works already"

The other mares nodded in agreement to Pinkie's words leaving Twilight to stare "B-b-but...."

Celestia inhaled sharply. “Right, so I’ve decided it’d be much faster and satisfying to punch you in the face then explain the exact nature of what’s transpired here the last two times this happened, so you might want to clench your teeth.”

Cinch scoffed. “As if you have the clout to—”

‘SLAM!’

I didn't even watch this movie and that was satisfying.

9403863

Applejack walked up to Twilight and placed a hoof on her shoulder. “You’re the best one for the job, Twilight.” she said with an earnest voice. “Besides, do y’all really want someone like Pinkie or, Celestia forbid, Rainbow Dash to be in charge of all of Equestria.”

Everyone shuddered at the thought of Rainbow Dash being the ruler of Equestria, while the mare in question managed to look highly offended.

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