• Member Since 11th Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen July 25th


Horrifically Fun



Apple Bloom wants to see her parents, the Cutie Mark Crusaders want their cutie marks, so they do the the only logical thing and try to raise the dead.

Can these three amateur necromancers pull it off without bringing back something twisted and wrong or a horde of the undead?

Tagged 'Sex' for a bumper crop of farm innuendos.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 200 )

Because screw logic.

That is all.


Wow. I was expecting the usual horrible spamfic, not something worth reading from beginning to end... well done!


Thanks you! :twilightsmile:

Yeah, 'cute, innocent characters are violent and kill ponies because lol' is not really my style.


This is my cutie mark, girls! :D

"Realy?" :scootangel:

"Yes." ;)

"Yeah!" :scootangel:


3916047 i love how the comment matches your profile pic :derpytongue2:

This was crazy! My sides!

A wonderful moral, truly relevant to our everyday lives.:trollestia:

First, props on all the Army of Darkness references. Before they really took off I was wondering if it was that or a Lovecraftian Necronomicon. At least button had the sense to forestall the first Deadite horde by not being retarded.

Besides that, I noticed it was only earth ponies actually doing necromancy. Imma call it a racial trait nopony like to talk about.:pinkiecrazy:

I have no idea where you got Button's Mom's name (fuck grammar) but upon the discovery that it was "Love Tap" I can only thing of how often she gets "I'd like to hit that".

And if you think about it, there is a small, but real chance that whatever ponies do to make the rocks grow messes with the soil chemistry to make explosions.

You know, I don't think that AJ is ususally wrong, per say, so much as she's a reasonable pony in what is ultimately an unreasonable world. If she lived anywhere but Ponyville, she'd have no problems. Although I will grant she go pretty militant about the Buffalo, but farmers tend to take property laws hella seriously.

Though now that I think about it, what exactly are the laws for settling in Equestria, assuming they have at least nominal control over the territory due to the fractious tribal state of the Buffalo, then the bovines are probably citizens of some status or technically a protectorate, which raises serious questions about the justification and lack of preemptive surveying of Appoloosa. And I've given this way too much thought. Fanfiction and comparative history have ruined me for everything.:applejackunsure::facehoof::twistnerd:

Finally, I know exactly where Button got stuck. I never got past it. Also, who did his mom sacrifice to raise him?:rainbowhuh:

“Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon,” Button Mash informed.
“…Those two fillies who would bully the four of you non-stop?” Love Tap asked.
Button Mash nodded, “Yep!”
Love Tap smiled and held out a forehoof, “Awesome! Good choice!”

Aaaand that was the point where my brain crawled out of my ear to take a breather. :pinkiecrazy:
Very good story!


I was wondering if I'd get that question. :twilightblush:

Probably just someone she didn't like. :derpytongue2:

There's a couple of popular names circulating for Button's Mom. "Love Tap" kinda works with the video game theme, so I went with it.

So...raising the dead seems to be taken well here.


Also,the Carnival level had my brother and I frustrated for quite some time. I actually Goggled it to remind myself what the platforms looked like, and there was someone from 2009 complaining about being stuck. :twilightblush:

“Speaking of garbage, I’m gonna root through the cans by Rainbow Dash’s house and see if she’s discarded any more loose hair.”

:rainbowhuh: WAT!
:scootangel: nothing

Cutest little necromancers and best raising of the dead ever. :scootangel: But what did Scootaloo want with Rainbow's hair?? :rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh:

3916779 Honestly I was hoping for cloning experiments, because the best competition for Rainbow Dash is herself:rainbowderp::rainbowkiss::rainbowdetermined2:. And can you imagine two simultaneous Sonic Rainbooms???:pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy:

Well, that was fun.

I have no goddamn clue what I just read and I don't really care, either.

Approved for Twilight's Library due to extreme enjoyment.

~Skeeter The Lurker

This was far more entertaining than it had any right to be. Great job, dude. :ajsmug:

So..The morale of this fanfic..is that raising the dead.. has no consequences what so ever? AWESOME! Now, where, perchance, can I find a bonesaber? :pinkiecrazy:

This was Awesome! :pinkiehappy: I love black humor and twisting and turning stories.

HAH! Pinkie sacrificed a Mary Sue God-Mode OC! I LOVE it!

This wins so hard, I can't even

We need more authors like you.

3917652 Awww, shucks! :twilightblush: Thank you!

“… ’Taint natural!”

Neither is ponies controling the weather, the sun, the moon, the animals, nature, the stars, ext, ext.

Reasons I love this story.

1. You sacrificed Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.

2. You sacrificed Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.

3 You sacrificed Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.

4. It was hilarious.

This is over, isn't it? I made it through? ...Huh...That was...oddly upbeat...

lol. I want to be a part of this story.

LOL! I love it.

That... that was beautiful.
It brought tears to my eyes. Of course, those might be because I'm laughing so hard.


And the best part was that they made the horrible, demon-infested underworld a worse place by being there.


IS Pinkie the new Ash?
Does AJ have a Boomstick?
Is Rarity going to cry cause the hairbrushes keep disappearing?

So much funny packed into one grave. Well, two.

Huh, looks like it went better for the crusaders to bring back people from the dead, than the Elric brothers :rainbowlaugh:
Very well done, good sir. :twilightsmile:

I'm sorry, but I have to pop back in to comment on the absolute best part of this fic: that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were sent to Hell to be tortured by demons for all eternity... and actually maintained there snobbish attitudes. Hell, they made Hell worse than it was. They out-evilled the evil!

I usually would end this by asking for more, but... it ended perfect. It kept on going for the near-exact amount of time needed. Any less would have felt unfulfilled. Any more would have been overkill. For real, dude, this was a great read.

Potential sequel:


This is one of the more twistedly hilarious stories I've ever read and it even managed to employ several references to Army of Darkness without them being intrusive. I would like to personally thank you for writing this as it has managed to make me giggle like a school girl several times in the past few minutes.

This fic is great. Weird, sure, but awesomely weird.

3916102 -Err... It was AWESOME! One of the BEST fics around here!
-Oooh... Nice! Favorites! Right now!
-Care for making it a book on the Shivering Isles?
-Bloody brilliant!
-So, it's awesome. First i thought it will have bad grammar, but it was a lie. You are cool. if I could ive you a lot of likes...

dude, this could be a freaking universe! a story all of it's own! i'm actually super sad that it's only a one-shot.

This.... I don't know why it's so funny, but it is. I haven't laughed this hard in months. :rainbowlaugh:

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