• Member Since 16th Mar, 2019
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

Lucar


A French brony who loves to read and write. My English is not perfect, but I will do my best!

Sequels1

T
Source

A long time ago, a whole manor, and everypony inside it, mysteriously disappeared without leaving any trace.

But it reappeared at the edge of the Everfree Forest, and Twilight decided to go investigate followed by her friends, only to not come back. Worried, and not wanting to miss an occasion to get their Cutie Masks, the Cutie Mark Crusaders entered the manor at the start of the night, only for two of them to be foalnapped by ghosts, and for the third to barely escape with the help of an old stallion.

Now armed with the Poltergust, a powerful tool to capture ghosts, Apple Bloom returns in the manor, ready to save everypony, even if she has to fight every ghosts in this manor.

A long night of terror starts for her.


Happens between season 2 and season 3. Also possesses some Dark and Drama

Chapters (7)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 155 )

Oddly enough, I was just thinking about Luigi's Mansion a few minutes before seeing this fic

Gasp. Astory thats not Sweetie in Dreamland? OH boy i cannot to see the whole Gooigi thing.... GoobleBloom?

This will be good. I loved that game!

So after this and sweetie belle, what is scootalo’s adventure going to be?

9866755
Probably because Luigi's Mansion 3 is about to come. You can be sure that I will play it!

9866860
The Gooigi, right. I will have to find something if I decide to do the other games.

9866907
Me too! One of my favorites! I finished it at least ten times! I know it almost by heart!

9867045
Good question. I don't have a Scootaloo story in mind right now, but I will find something once this one is finished.

9867138
Scootaloo and Metroid with Samus or Zelda or Pokémon or Pokémon Mystery Dungeon or Earthbound or Advanced Wars or Rune Factory or Inazuma Eleven or Mario and Luigi Super Star Saga or Disgaea or Wario World or The Legend of Zelda.

Woops. Two Zelda's

9867149
Yes, so much possibilities. :unsuresweetie:

Well, this makes a Luigi's Mansion story for each of the three original Cutie Mark Crusaders. Congratulations!:pinkiehappy:

Yes, this was the rest of the family. The pregnant mare was Golden Hair, Diamond's wife, the green old nag was Emerald, his mother, the cyan stallion was Lapis Lazuli, one of his cousins, and the other old nag was Crystal Ball, Lapis' mother and sister of Ruby, making her his aunt.

Beside them, in the room, were also Diamond's twin sons, Ruby and Sapphire, a red pegasus and a blue earth pony; Golden Shoes, Golden Hair's big brother, his wife Silver Shoes, and their daughter, Platinum Shoes, which was playing with her cousins, all earth ponies; Jump Scare, Golden Hair's other older brother, also an earth pony; Pyrite's other cousins, a white unicorn stallion named Zircon, his twin brother, the obese, also white unicorn stallion Pearl currently busy disgustingly stuffing himself, and the younger fake twins Opal Note, an orange unicorn mare, and Topaz, an orange muscled unicorn stallion; finally, there's Pear's wife, a dark pink chubby unicorn mare named Swift Wave.

This will be a lot of characters for me to remember, though.:applejackconfused:

9867194
Since they are all named after gems or precious minerals, excepted Pearl's wife and Jump Scare, I don't think it should be a problem in the long term. Here are also some tricks to remember some of the names: Ruby and Sapphire for the twins, because they are red and blue, like in the game. Pearl, because he's as round as a pearl. Crystal Ball, because she's a medium. Golden and Silver Shoes, because they're dancers. Zircon, because he's as white as snow. Jump Scare because he likes doing "Bouh!"

Most of the names have been chosen to reflect a particularity of the equivalent portrait ghost those characters are inspired from. Others however, like Emerald or Lapis Lazuli have been chosen because I didn't have better in mind excepted random colors.

Beside them, in the room, were also Diamond's twin sons, Ruby and Sapphire, a red pegasus and a blue earth pony; Golden Shoes, Golden Hair's big brother, his wife Silver Shoes, and their daughter, Platinum Shoes, which was playing with her cousins, all earth ponies; Jump Scare, Golden Hair's other older brother, also an earth pony; Pyrite's other cousins, a white unicorn stallion named Zircon, his twin brother, the obese, also white unicorn stallion Pearl currently busy disgustingly stuffing himself, and the younger fake twins Opal Note, an orange unicorn mare, and Topaz, an orange muscled unicorn stallion; finally, there's Pear*'s wife, a dark pink chubby unicorn mare named Swift Wave.

Who’s Pear? Did you forget an l?

9867402
Yep, corrected. Thank you.

There is a "Take" near the end that I believe should be tap. I'd put the section in one of those grey boxes but I no idea how to.

9869662
I found it, thank you. To quote a passage of the story, left click on it and a black bar with "Read", "Bookmark", and "Quote" should appear. Click on "Quote", and the passage will be put in quote in your message. Like that:

"This is to put on your hear like that." Smart Spirit demonstrated by putting one of the gadgets on his head, one of the crystals in front of the hole of the ear while another one is beside his mouth. "They are communicators. Tap two times on the crystal at the middle, then talk at the crystal beside your mouth, and I will hear your voice coming from the crystal beside my hear. I can do the same so i can talk to you even if I'm not here. I propose that we activate them as soon as we enter the manor, even if we are beside each other, just in case."

Slowly, she stepped back, and closed the door.

I'd do the same thing. That ghost looked pretty casual... too casual.

The mare spotted her approaching with it, and suddenly turned her head, roaring at Apple Bloom as her manes separated into several locks of hair serpenting toward the filly with a clear purpose.

When I read this part, I expected Golden Hair to pull a Medusa on Apple Bloom and turn her to stone or something.:rainbowlaugh:

She waited a little more before deciding that she waited enough. Laughing, she said "Seems like Ah won!" only to find out that the door of the closet wasn't opening anymore! "What?" She pushed it, then started using more strenght, but the door refused to move. "Hey! I'm in there! Open the door!"

So, that's why children are especially creepy in horror movies; they're deviously playful. Also, you misspelled strength.

Chapter Name: Act 1

Smart Spirit chuckled. "You don't need to be so tense. Just keep your eyes and ears wide open, and if you feel your fur suddenly stend on end, turn around and push the button without asking question. It stopped a ghost from attacking me more than once in my long life."

Just keep your eyes and ears wide open, and if you feel your fur suddenly stand on end, turn around and push the button without asking questions.
Other than that, I didn't find any other errors.

"I don't know. Nopony who studied it could find out its origins, or anything. We don't even know if it was even alive at one point! All I know is this: It's a very powerful ghost, and it's the responsible of what happened to the manor and everypony in it. The Gem family, who was secretly a family of ghost hunters, was able to capture it and seal it in a room in the basement. But somehow, it escaped, probably with the help of a traitor, and plunged the whole manor in a horrible curse, transporting it to the spiritual world. The pony-eating books, the self-strangling mane, the twins who died trapped in their boxes as they played hide and seek... Their ghosts losing mind! All of this is its fault! Capture Bogmire, and this curse ends! So, despite all this, do you still want to continue?"

So I take it Bogmire isn't the Area 2 boss? Okay, but here's an interesting plot twist I came up with.... Actually I probably shouldn't say it, because then it wouldn't be a plot twist if you decided to use it.
I like this story so far and I can't wait to see more of it.

Hey, this story will continue after the manor right?

9869945

I'd do the same thing. That ghost looked pretty casual... too casual.

And don't forget about all the blood.

When I read this part, I expected Golden Hair to pull a Medusa on Apple Bloom and turn her to stone or something.

I also had it in mind when I wrote this. :rainbowlaugh: But now, thankfully, she didn't gain the power to turn ponies into stone when dying.

When I read this part, I expected Golden Hair to pull a Medusa on Apple Bloom and turn her to stone or something.

Yeah. You can't trust children in horror movies. They act all innocent, and before you know it... ☠ Thankfully, those ones simply tried to sufocate Apple Bloom by trapping her in the closet. And they really had good intentions in mind, even if it was twisted by the curse.
Also, corrected. Thank you.

9870060

Chapter Name: Act 1

Just keep your eyes and ears wide open, and if you feel your fur suddenly stand on end, turn around and push the button without asking questions.

Corrected, thanks.

So I take it Bogmire isn't the Area 2 boss? Okay, but here's an interesting plot twist I came up with.... Actually I probably shouldn't say it, because then it wouldn't be a plot twist if you decided to use it.

For Bogmire, I won't confirm or deny anything. As for your plot twist idea, you can always put it in spoilers, and like with Bogmire, I won't confirm or deny if it will be that or not.

Also, thank you. I'm glad you like it. :twilightsmile:

9870386
Well, at first, I thought to only do the first game, but deep down, I also wanted to adapt Dark Moon, but I'm not sure yet how. But yes, I want to continue writing Apple Bloom's adventures as a ghost hunter after this manor.

I am so excited I think my head might... (BOOM!!) Man thats the tenth head I blown up... this week, oh well there not hard for me to grow back anyway great story so far and I see you decided to leave out the boos and king boo.

9870477
Probably. But I don't know if it will be an original story, or an adaptation of Dark Moon with a different plot like this one.

9870524
Thank you! Yeah, no Boos, King Boo, and Boolossus. No, the third boss will be worse (I don't mean more annoying like it was to capture that last bucking Boo, but I mean more dangerous. After all, we are in the MLP, what kind of ghost could do a perfect boss? :raritywink:), and the final boss will be more epic.

9870547
Will there be dark magic Wraiths?

9870548
Maybe in the last few rooms, one or two will decide to haunt the manor.

9870553
Blood magic, Chaos magic, Etc...

9870554
I don't think so.

9870562
Yeah. And I don't think there are much ghosts using chaos magic. For the blood magic, it wouldn't be useful because as a manor full of ghosts, there aren't much blood, and the blood left from the bodies of the Gem Family isn't fresh at all.

9870547
Well there are many kinds of ghosts like animators and possessors or even poltergeists you know what I mean.

9870574
Yep. But I was talking about ghosts of species of the MLP world. We already got earth ponies, pegasi, unicorns, griffons, donkeys, mice, bats, and you can guess that there will be some zebras.

9870568
Necrotic or eldritch? Or is the big bad this?

9870580
Nope and nope.

9870577
Well how about dragons or changelings.

9870610
Well, remember that most of the ghosts in the original Luigi's Mansion are painted by Van Gore. And in this story, you understood that Pyrite was playing his role. However, one thousand years ago, changelings weren't known, so no painted ghost changelings. After, yes, there may be some real ghost changeling poping here and there. As for dragons... Well... You will see... *smirks evilly*

9870584
Elemental Specters?

9870620
Hippogriff, Siren, or alicorn Ghosts?

9870644
Yes.

9870646
Probably, maybe, and... you will see.

9870655
Fire, Ice, Water, Earth, Air, Lightning, Plant, Acid, FrostFire, Etc...
Also Pheonix Ghosts?

9870685
The most basics, so already the three we see in Luigi's Mansion, as well as lightning. Maybe more later.
As for phoenix ghosts, I didn't think of them, but I don't think they would be hostile ghosts. But Pyrite may paint a few ones toward the end.

9870459
Okay if you insist. Here it is:
After Apple Bloom captures Bogmire at the end of Area-2, the curse isn't lifted. And it won't be lifted until she finds and defeats the traitor who wished for all this in the first place.
Well for Dark Moon, King Boo was the one who broke the Dark Moon but he doesn't exist in this universe so... maybe Pyrite can take his place? As for the boos in that game, I have no idea. Maybe you could have him find an unknown, undiscovered ghostly species in Equestria and they could take the Boos place for Dark Moon.
As for how you'd set yourself up for it, I have an idea. Like I said earlier, Pyrite can take King Boo's place. I'm not sure what you have planned for this story, but I think the traitor's best saved for the final boss. In my eyes, it's the perfect climax. Apple Bloom captures Bogmire but it isn't enough to break the curse so Smart Spirit determines they have to find and defeat the one who freed Bogmire and made the wish. And at the end when Luigi/Apple Bloom confronts King Boo/Pyrite, Apple Bloom learns just how depraved and selfish a pony can get. And after the adventure is over and her friends and sister are safe, though they try to set Pyrite's spirit free, It doesn't work. He's to corrupt to even want to move on. And that is what I think would be able to pave the way for your Dark Moon Sequel plan.
I hope all this helps you and I am looking forward to area 2.:pinkiehappy:

9870620
And this makes another idea I just had very valid and doable.
So you said Pyrite is taking Van Gore's place as the one making the ghosts in the mansion. Well what if he manages to get away and goes to the Secret Alter, he'd still drop the key to the room.
Sorry if I'm inputting to many Ideas here. My brain is just teeming with ideas for how this story could go.

9870689
I have never played Luigi’s mansion.

9870689
Fake timberwolves, bone Hydras?

9870727
And they are interresting theories! But there's already one thing that I can confirm to you: Pyrite will not be the final boss. Like in the game, he will be the penultimate boss. But I have something special prepared for him. As for who will be the real final boss, they are the one who talk at the end of the preview.

9870731
None of them are planned.

9870732
Well that's fine, it's your story, but what I've suggested still helps give you ideas for an adaptation of Dark Moon, right?
Also, are you excited for Luigi's Mansion 3? Because I am, and I don't even have a Switch.

9870759
Yep, it gave me ideas. So, thank you! :pinkiehappy:

And yes, I'm exited for Luigi's Mansion 3. I can't wait to play it. Especially with the return of "human ghosts" that were really missing in Dark Moon.

9870763
Well, I know why this isn’t a sequel to a sweetie dreamland.

9867157
Maybe you could toss Scootaloo into the Paper Mario or Mario Galaxy series?

Just a thought :scootangel:

Is this in any way based off of Sweetie's Mansion?

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!