Twilight Sparkle has cast loose the magic of Equestria and has been corrupted into a being that craves knowledge, no matter the cost. So, it’s up to Sunset Shimmer to save the day, right? Yeah, about that…
Twilight Sparkle has cast loose the magic of Equestria and has been corrupted into a being that craves knowledge, no matter the cost. So, it’s up to Sunset Shimmer to save the day, right?
Canterlot High trembled under the might of two beams of pure energy colliding above the courtyard. Scattered amongst the grounds, students of the school and their rivals from Crystal Prep looked up, a mixture of awe and terror on their faces. The converging rays emanated from the hands of two girls - though still human in appearance - the energies they wielded had seemingly turned them into something quite unworldly.
The Crystal Prep student known as Twilight Sparkle had unleashed unknown magics upon herself. The result was truly terrifying to behold. A pair of massive black wings had sprouted from her back and her hair stood straight up like dark violet and magenta fire. Bright blue energy danced around her eyes and at the soles of her feet, as a blazing blue beam shot from her palms which matched the twisted foot-long horn which jutted upwards from her forehead. Her purple dress, which shifted about her tall and slender frame from the conflicting forces, completed the look of a fallen angel that had been reshaped by pure nightmare.
Similarly, Sunset Shimmer, former villain now hero and unicorn from another dimension, had harnessed the elements of harmony from her friends, giving herself an angelic form and surrounding her with a glow that was warm and powerful as the sun itself. This energy not only flowed freely from her hands but extended from her back into wing shapes as her already fiery-colored hair stood straight and swayed gently despite the maelstrom of power in front of her. Like Twilight, or Midnight Sparkle, Sunset’s new form also had a horn. However, Daydream Shimmer’s horn shot up straight like a beam of light which ended in a point, easily twice the length of Midnight’s. Her pink and white dress likewise billowed as the energies tore at the air between her and her opponent.
For a moment, Daydream’s explosive ray of light pressed closer to Midnight, but only for a moment. With a determined look on her face, Midnight thrust her arms forward. And with that, more crackling blue magic cascaded out her palms, pushing back the warm glow of Daydream Shimmer’s counter-attack, threatening to consume the woman whole. Midnight laughed maniacally. Victory would be hers and she’d unlock the secrets of magic and that other world, and no one would pressure, bully, or belittle her ever again!
Daydream struggled under the oncoming force.
The students below looked up in dread.
A small purple dog leapt out of the arms of one of the students and rushed towards the fight. “Twilight!” it called out in a pleading tone.
‘Twilight’ paused for a moment to look down at her pet, this being only the third instance of a talking animal at Canterlot High and the second of said talking animals which just-so-happened to look identical to and have the same name as the first. However, Midnight’s focus was only pulled away from the fight for a second. “I’m a little busy here, Spike!” she called out. “We’ll go ‘walkies’ later after I lay waste to my enemies and tear open my portals once more!” She grinned wickedly as she heard the straining grunts from her opponent. “You’ll have a whole new world to explore and defile as you see fit!” Her grin grew wider. “I’m not even going to bring any plastic bags! Muhahahaha!”
“Twilight, stop!” Spike pleaded once more. “This isn’t you!”
Midnight grit her teeth and glared down at the pup as her attack continued unabated. “Oh? And who gets to decide what is me and what isn’t?! Principal Cinch who threatened to deny my application to the Everton Independent Study Program?! The other students of Crystal Prep who only care if I can help them win?!”
“You seem to be dealing with a lot of pent up emotions over there!” Daydream shouted over the din of the beam collusion. “Want me to help?”
“No! I want you to DIE!” Midnight snarled.
“Story of my life…” Daydream lamented.
“Twilight! You’ve got to stop!” Spike cried.
“I’ll ask you again, Spike! Who gets to decide what ‘is’ and ‘isn’t’ me?! The people who’ve tried to use me?! Society?! Who?!”
“It’s your mom!” Spike called out.
“… What?!” Midnight replied in a truly perplexed tone as her beam began to falter just a bit.
“Your mom has been glaring at you the entire time since you transformed!” Spike called out. “I think she’s mad!”
“What in the ASS, Twilight Sparkle?!” a woman’s voice called out.
Daydream cocked her head towards the voice, the force of her own counter-attack fading. “Okay. Just. What?”
Midnight Sparkle made a full stop as an expression of pure dread washed over her. “Truce! Truce!” she called out to Daydream in a near panic.
Daydream gave Midnight an unsure look, but slowly lowered her own magic’s intensity as Midnight did the same. No sooner was the courtyard clear of waves of pure magical energy than a woman’s call of “Gosh darn it! She made me say the ‘A’ word!” could be heard above the din.
Sighing loudly, a white-skinned woman with purple and white striped hair in the stands picked up her purse, rummaged through it briefly, then pulled out a dollar which she handed to a blue-skinned man sitting next to her. This man with a coif of dark blue hair received the dollar and placed it into the left pocket of his black cargo shorts, which had a purple t-shirt tucked into them. Said shirt sported a golden Crystal Prep logo and wording which was left exposed under an unbuttoned black shirt. The woman was wearing a similar t-shirt, though one that fit her shapely form tightly along with blue jeans that hugged her hips. Her black jacket wafted from the slight breeze of her own resolute march down to the courtyard.
“Oh, sweet Beleth, no,” Midnight murmured as she gently floated back to the ground.
Daydream gave Midnight a sideways look as she too lowered herself to the ground. “Did… did you just invoke the demon king of math?!”
“Jus’ what do you know about demons, Sunset?!” Applejack cried from the sidelines of people getting their wits together.
“Hey! You transform into a demon, you’ve got some questions!” Daydream quipped. “Books seemed to have a lot more answers than priests and they’re far less likely to douse you in holy water!” Daydream glanced at Midnight. “Speaking of which, does anyone have any holy water?!”
“Oh, I’m in for a baptism of fire as it is…” Midnight muttered, gulping as the woman from the stands stormed into lecturing range.
“It’s okay, Twilight!” Spike said. “I’m right there with you! 100%!”
“Spike, Mom throws you out when you bark at her when she’s upset with me. What do you think is going to happen if you actually back-sass her?”
Spike frowned heavily as his ears dropped around his head. “I’m going to see if any squirrels are getting too close to the car!” Spike announced before he began trotting away.
Midnight just sighed as she watched her mother approach. “Yeah, you do that….”
“Twilight Sparkle, you stop this nonsense at once! I’m all for you exploring your identity, but what kind of mother would I be if I just stood by and let you commit murder!”
“Omnicide,” Daydream corrected. “Your daughter’s actions were probably going to result in omnicide!”
Pinkie gasped. “That sounds at least 10 times worse than a murder!”
“What’s an omni?” Rainbow Dash asked. “And how do you kill it?”
Sugarcoat folded her arms across her chest. “How did we struggle in the academic portions of the competition against these girls, again?” she posed to anyone in earshot.
Sour Sweet smiled widely. “Oh, I’m sure their talents lie elsewhere… or at least they have GREAT personalities.”
“All of you shush while I’m talking to my daughter!” the woman cried. She took a moment to lean past Midnight’s currently substantially taller figure to glare at Daydream. “You! You were going to blast my poor Twily!”
“S-She started it!” Daydream stuttered, leveling a shaking finger at Twilight. “I was just trying to fix her!”
Twilight Velvet cleared the distance between Midnight and Daydream in a second and glared up at the seven-foot-tall, floating angelic figure of a woman. “Are you suggesting there’s something wrong with my daughter?!”
Daydream swallowed. “No.” She squeaked out. “I mean… What I was firing was basically a beam of pure focused positive energy! I was just going to disarm and make friends with your daughter! I swear!”
The woman gave Daydream a disbelieving glare.
“Look! I said some unkind things to her earlier, and I felt really bad about that…” Daydream went on in desperation, beginning to visibly sweat under the gaze of this tiny, angry little woman. She hadn’t felt this nervous since she’d first seen Principal Celestia and assumed it was the Princess coming to drag her home. “That is, before she got high on magic and almost destroyed the school, but like… been there, almost did that. I thought if I got her to stop tearing opening portals left and right and trying to kill me, we could talk it out! Please, believe me!”
Twilight Velvet considered this for a moment then took a few steps forward and extended her hand. “It’s alright, you have an honest face.”
“Uh… thanks?” Daydream said as she reached down to shake the woman’s hand.
“Twilight Velvet! Twilight’s mom!” Twilight Velvet proffered by way of introduction.
“Er… Sunset Shimmer,” Daydream replied. “Most the time, that is…”
“I saw!” Twilight Velvet said. “You have a cool jacket! Though that dress you have on right now is quite attractive.”
“Oh… uh… Thanks!” Daydream replied she craned her way one way than the other, examining her own attire. “I think it’s made out of magic and sunlight?”
Twilight Velvet tittered. “Oh, you girls and your ever-changing fashions! Still, it looks much better than the bell-bottoms and turtleneck sweaters we wore when I was your age.”
“Mom!” Midnight Sparkle called out. “Stop making friends with my arch-nemesis!”
Twilight Velvet wheeled around on her heels and stormed right up to her magically charged daughter. Without hesitation, she reached past the glowing horn of energy to grab her daughter’s ear and drag her head downwards as she began to march her away. “You do NOT talk to your mother like that! Now, we’re going home where we will have a frank discussion about this behavior of yours!”
“Ow! Ow! OW! But I was going to mold reality into my plaything and rule the multiverse!” Whined Midnight Sparkle as she flailed impotently against her mother’s grasp.
“That is not an acceptable activity for a woman your age to engage in!”
“Listen to your mother, Twilight!” said the man who had collected the dollar from Twilight Velvet. Daydream felt safe in assuming that he might be Twilight’s father.
Midnight swatted her mom’s hand away and glared up at the man. “Don’t give me that, Dad! I know you’ve experimented too! Remember the basement fire?!”
“Hey!” the man called back. “That was just a harmless hobby that got a little out of hand. Besides, it was just a little distiller explosion! Mostly harmless!”
“Well, my PORTALS are mostly harmless, too!” Midnight insisted. “LOOK!” Without warning, Midnight extended a hand where a bright blue bolt arched out a few meters away and ripped yet another tear in the fabric of reality.
A light-purple pony with a burnt-orange mane tied into one massive braid took one look on the people on the other side of the portal and let out a shriek. She immediately dove to the other side of a large metal counter and began to rant to herself, “I haven’t done any studies on this! I haven’t done any studies on this, at all!”
Daydream sighed and raised her own hand. “Here… let me…”
Twilight Velvet swatted at the hand. “No! No more magic tonight! Everyone is on a magic time-out!”
Daydream frowned. “But—”
“No butts!” Twilight Velvet said. “I don’t understand it, but I know magic got my daughter into this mess, so, for the time being, I’m going to assume it’s 100% bad until I see otherwise.”
Daydream’s forehead tightened. “Okay, but how is anyone supposed to show you it’s not 100% bad if you don’t—”
“I said, ‘no magic!’” Twilight Velvet asserted in a maternal tone.
“Alright, alright! No magic!” Daydream replied as she held up her hands defensively in front of her.
“Now where was I…” Twilight Velvet wondered out loud.
“Omnicide!” Lemon Zest called out excitedly as she threw up her left fist, her pinkie and index fingers extended. “Yeah!”
Sunny Flare swatted at the horns Lemon Zest had thrown. “Put that away! Don’t know if you’ve heard anything through those headphones except for the words that interest you, but this is kinda a big deal.”
“Kinda a big deal?!” Lemon Zest replied in disbelief. “Duuuude, I got a front row seat to a near apocalypse! This was the most metal, and therefore BEST, day of my life!”
“You girls shush!” Twilight Velvet commanded. “I’m still sorting this all out!”
Midnight let out an exasperated sigh. “I can’t believe you came all the way down here…” she moaned.
“Like I’d miss my daughter’s big day!” Twilight Velvet said as she reached up and pinched Midnight Sparkle’s cheeks.
“Not what I meant!” Midnight snapped. “Also, you’re embarrassing me!”
“You’re embarrassing you with this tantrum you’re throwing!” She tut-tutted with the click of her tongue. She shook her head. “Though I am surprised you even agreed to the games. I thought you hated competitions.”
Midnight’s eyes narrowed. “Well, you can ask Principal Cinch about that. Shiny and Cadance, while you’re at it, too!”
Standing a few meters away, Cadance visibly cringed as a look of dread cross her face. However, as if sensing her input was needed to sooth a situation, Principal Cinch stepped forward from the crowd. “I’m sorry for Twilight’s outburst, Mrs. Velvet,” Principal Cinch said. “I’ll have a talk with her.”
Twilight Velvet grimaced. “You stay the HEL—” Twilight Velvet took a deep breath and reached for an invisible purse at her side. Finding said purse was ethereal as well, she pursed her lip into a small frown and continued. –“Heckies away from my Twilight!” She leveled an angry index finger and placed it right under Principal Cinch’s chin like a loaded gun ready to go off. “I saw everything! The tears in reality, the dark transformation, and especially the impressively improvised song number that pressured my daughter into doing those things!” Twilight Velvet paused and thought for a moment. “That the entirety of the Crystal Prep bleachers got involved in including myself, husband, son, but that’s beside the point.” Twilight Velvet leveled a glare that seemed like it could level a building at the Principal. “How. Could. You?!”
“But it was important!” Principal Cinch insisted, a look of genuine fear on her face. “The Pride of Crystal Prep was at stake!”
“WHAT?! No one really cares about a stupid contest between high schoolers! Sure, we all want to see our kids perform to the best of their abilities, but not at the cost at anyone’s wellbeing! This is my daughter’s life we’re talking here, you sick bi—” Twilight Velvet grit her teeth and began to shake in place. “Night Light, honey! I left my purse in the bleachers when I got up to get Twilight! Swear for me!”
“You sick bitch!” Night Light yelled out as he pulled out his wallet from his right front pocket, took a dollar from it, then stuck the dollar in his left cargo pocket.
“Thanks, sweetie!” She turned back to Principal Cinch, finger at the ready. “You’re just lucky you’re my son’s fiancée’s beloved boss or I’d give you such a slap!”
“Oh, I don’t actually like her,” Cadance called gleefully as she stood a few meters away in the crowd. “Also, after this debacle, me becoming the new Principal of Crystal Prep is all but guaranteed!”
‘SMACK!’
“Ow!” Principal Cinch exclaimed as she rushed a palm to her struck cheek. “Dean Cadance! What is the meaning of this?!”
“You deserve a lot more than the slap, believe me,” Cadance deadpanned.
“No! What is this nonsense about becoming the new Principal?!”
“Oh, please,” Cadance said with a Cheshire grin. “You really think the board is going to let you stay on after multiple students and members of staff come forward to explain you pressured a student into dangerous actions that might have destroyed the entire planet? Go ahead, plead your case before you resign. I dare you. I double dare you, motherfucker!”
“Cady!” Twilight Velvet hissed. “In front of the children, no less!”
Cadance sighed heavily and trudged off toward the Crystal Prep stands.
Daydream took a moment to glare at the pink woman, “Cadance?! Why aren’t you helping with the whole ‘Evil Twilight’ thing?’”
The dean turned her head to answer, “All the magic stuff here looks a bit beyond my paygrade!” she quipped. “Also… who are you?” she asked earnestly as she patted her teal skirt and navy blue jacket. Frowning, she stopped and turned back towards the bleachers. “Shineeeey! Give your dad a fiver! I forgot the women’s Crystal Prep uniform doesn’t have any pockets…” Her face tightened. “File that under ‘first thing I fix when I’m Principal’,” she muttered to herself.
“I only have a tenner!” Shining Armor called back.
“Just give it to him!” Cadence called up. “I’m sure he’ll get enough money for change from your mom or I’ll fuck up bad enough he’ll get to keep it.”
“CADY!” Twilight Velvet shrilled.
“See?”
“DEAN CADANCE!” Principal Cinch yelled. “This behavior is inexcusable.”
Daydream gave Cinch a look of pure, undiluted incredulity. “Like pressuring a teenager to use magic they don’t understand? Which is a thing by all accounts you probably didn’t believe in until, like, an hour ago? Yeah, you’re in a greeeeaaaat position to judge,” she said, letting sarcasm soak every syllable of the last sentence.
Cadance took a moment to catch Twilight Velvet’s eye and mouthed a quick, ‘I like her.’
Twilight Velvet mouthed ‘I like her, too,’ back.
Standing amongst the students, Principal Celestia snickered. “Someone’s going to get it.”
Clearly earning the ire of the mama bear on deck, Twilight Velvet wheeled on her heels to face the Principal of Canterlot High. “Oh, like you’re any better!“ She rolled her eyes. “‘Oops! I guess some deadly plants are on the loose?! Whatayagonna do?! Guess we’ll just keep playing our silly games and hope no one is horribly mangled and killed by scientifically impossible flora!”
“Someone got killed,” Sugarcoat asserted. “My motocross bike…” She took a deep breath then let it out. “I loved that bike.”
Indigo Zap turned palm upwards as her forehead tightened. “You didn’t even know we were having a motocross race! That was the first time you saw that bike, let alone rode it!”
“It was love at first sight,” Sugarcoat insisted. “But also death at first ride,” she lamented.
Indigo Zap thought for a moment. “Yeah, okay… I can see that.”
Principal Celestia held her hands up in front of her defensively. “Look, I was willing to call off the games and call it a tie for the sake of the students, but Principal Cinch wouldn’t have it!” Celestia thought for a moment. “Also, by all accounts, it was a student at Crystal Prep who is the cause of this mess and, specifically, your daughter.”
“I-you-fucking-Cunt-whore-SHIT!” Twilight Velvet yelled angrily as she stamped a foot down on the ground.
“Honey, this is getting expensive!” Night Light called from the stands as he emptied a bunch of cash from his wallet and shoved it into the ‘swear pocket’.”
“I DON’T GIVE A FUCK! IT’S FOR TWILY’S FUTURE!” Twilight Velvet screamed.
Midnight Sparkle gave Twilight Velvet a shadowy smile. “There is no future except for what I decide there to be, mother.”
Twilight Velvet just shot her daughter a dirty look then grabbed her ear again. “We’re going to the car, NOW, to TALK about this new attitude of yours, young lady!”
“Ow, ow, ow, OW!” Midnight Sparkle cried as her mother dragged her away. “Okay! I can FLY to the car myself!”
“No magic!” Twilight Velvet replied firmly.
“These wings are natural!” Midnight Sparkle insisted.
“Oh… Then I want a ride!” Twilight Velvet said, a sudden look of surprise and delight coming over her.
“What!? But, MoooOOOooom!”
“You heard me!” Twilight Velvet said.
With a roll of her eyes, Midnight Sparkle grabbed hold of her mom and ascended into the sky, quietly grumbling about feeling demeaned.
“Okay… that was weird…” Daydream mused.
Night Light trudged past Daydream, holding his wife’s purse. “No, it’s okay!” he called out in a mildly vexed tone. “I wanted to walk!”
Right behind him, Shining Armor chimed in with a quick, “I can carry you!”
“It’s not the saaaaaaaame!” Night Light lamented. He glanced back at Daydream.
“So, uh, you gonna start flying around soon?”
“Yeah, probably.”
“Then, uh, can I—“
“No,” Daydream said sternly.
Night Light kicked at the ground and continued walking, Shining Armor following behind him.
Daydream frowned heavily to herself. “I’ve had better days… I mean… much worse, too… but… loads of better ones.”
Celestia took a moment to turn towards Principal Cinch and give her a smug look. “So… do you think your firing will be completely open to the public, or will they be selling tickets?”
Principal Cinch glared through her spectacles at Celestia. “Your students likewise displayed magical abilities! How is this all to be laid at my feet?!”
“Your student CAUSED this entire mess!” Celestia insisted. “AFTER you goaded her into using things she didn’t understand.” She shook her head. “You being mad at me is like being mad at a zoo for having lions when you brought your pet lion to the zoo and let it loose on everyone!”
Cinch folded her arms across her chest. “Well, at least my students are out there discovering things instead of idly living a life of mediocrity.”
“YOU SAW THAT ONE OF MY STUDENTS FLIES AND THE OTHER TRANSFORMED JUST TO STOP YOUR STUDENT!” Celestia cried as she motioned to Rainbow Dash and Daydream Shimmer in turn.
Cinch simply nodded. “And yet your school still lingers in performance behind Crystal Prep. It’s clear your students are not pushing themselves to their full potential and that the staff, specifically the Principal of this school is to blame.”
Something seemed to snap behind Principal Celestia’s eyes. “I’ve dealt with two near world ending experiences on school grounds and now a THIRD, all because previously unheard of magic making its way over to my school! And you want to claim I’m not running my school correctly because I’m not treating it like some sort of school for magically gifted youngsters?!”
“Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh!” Rainbow Dash called out. “That would be so RAD!”
“Yeah, sign me up,” Indigo Zap chimed in.
“Hell, yeah!” Lemon Zest shouted. “Let's get some crazy magical powers up in this bitch!”
“Right, because what could possibly go wrong?!” Sour Sweet posed cheerily. “It’s not like there were loads and loads of proof that that is a terrible idea we witnessed, or anything!” she added in an irritated tone.
Cinch couldn’t help but smirk. “Well, I just know if someone more qualified was guiding these children, they’d be able to explore their abilities without the concerns of their staff dropping the ball and allowing such disasters to happen.”
Celestia inhaled sharply. “Right, so I’ve decided it’d be much faster and satisfying to punch you in the face then explain the exact nature of what’s transpired here the last two times this happened, so you might want to clench your teeth.”
Cinch scoffed. “As if you have the clout to—”
‘SLAM!’
There was the slight sound of something crunching as Celestia’s fist hit open jaw. Dazed, Cinch quickly grasped at her injured face and cradled it for a moment before she regained her trademark composure. “Well, now that THAT barbarism is out of the wa—”
‘POW!’
Cinch’s glasses topped to the ground has her head reeled back. She slowly turned it to face Celestia with a determined glare.
“Take a hit,” Celestia said with a smile that was making violent promises. “Be somebody, baby.”
With a feral growl, Cinch leapt atop the other principal and brought her to the ground where both women began to roll, punch, scratch, and do anything and everything they could to harm the other.
Daydream simply stared down at the scuffle below her and sighed as Dean Cadance and Luna seemed to watch with detached amusement.
“Ten bucks says my sister breaks at least two of Cinch’s ribs.” Luna quipped.
“Twenty says double the ribs, and Tia breaks a finger,” Cadance said with a smirk.
“Oh, you’re so on!”
Applejack stepped up to Daydream. “So, ummmm… What exactly are we going to do about this hole thingy”
“How should I know?!” Daydream snapped back. “Twilight’s mom said ‘magic time out’! Remember? Just… put a blanket over it, or something!”
Rarity looked to the tear in reality, which clearly lead to a curious shot that was equal parts lab equipment and carpets. “You want us to just… ‘cover up’ the extra-dimensional hole in existence… with a blanket?” she asked indignantly.
Rarity clenched her fist tightly. “I shall get to work constructing the finest curtains these school grounds have ever seen!” Tittering to herself, Rarity was gone in an instant.
Applejack frowned heavily. “Though, I reckoned we’d need more than some fancy drapes, too…”
“Well what do YOU suggest?!” Daydream asked.
Applejack shrugged. “We get everyone together and build a barn around it?”
Daydream cringed. “That is such a ‘you’ answer that it hurts my magically imbued soul, AJ,” Daydream said before an all-too-familiar line hit her ears.
“Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie and I want to be your bestest best friend!”
“KEEP YOUR SQUID MIXED WITH SAUSAGE APPENDAGES AWAY FROM ME, PLEASE!” The pony shrieked. “I DON’T WANT YOUR ALIEN PROBES OR DISEASES!”
“Pinkie, stop trying to make friends with the Equestrian!” Daydream shouted. “She’s clearly freaked out!”
“I’m making first-er-make that THIRD contact!” Pinkie shouted back. “It’s important, probably!”
“It’s okay now,” Fluttershy soothed as she stood next to Pinkie Pie and leaned over the counter. “Maybe I can get you a nice carrot or apple!”
“You keep your alien produce far away from here! Do you want to completely contaminate the planet with foreign plant life, or WORSE? A foodborne parasite could ruin the ecosystem and eventually kill us all!”
“Gee…” Fluttershy said in a concerned tone. “I guess I never thought of that!”
“Fluttershy, stop trying to reassure the pony on the other side of the portal! Again! I think you’re making things worse.”
“But she’s so scared!” Fluttershy replied. “She needs a little reassurance right now!”
“What I need is a panic room!” the pony replied. “Which is literally EVERY room in this home and many, MANY under it! Except your stupid portal opened up in between me and the buttons I need to ACTIVATE my 70% Ponyville Disaster-proof shutters!”
Rainbow Dash’s face tightened and she looked into the portal past the counter. “Can’t you just go outside?!”
“WHAT?!” shrieked the pony. “I’m not going outside! There are BEARS outside! Are you crazy?!”
Indigo Zap walked up closer to Rainbow Dash and mirrored her expression. “Like… bears waiting to snack on you bears?!”
“Probably?!” the pony shot back. “There is at least one pet bear in town and a bunch of bears in the magical forest of DEATH this village is set next to! Statistically, my chances of bear-related death go up significantly if I go outside! Now, THIS I’ve done studies on!”
Applejack shook her head and turned back towards Daydream. “Well… we should at least try to find Princess Twilight.”
Daydream rolled a palm upwards to match the rolling of her eyes. “Look! If she wasn’t here before and she isn’t here now after our worlds had many convenient express ways into the middle of the sky for a good minute there. I’m guessing she’s indisposed with her own crisis! Besides, if this world is going to be continuously hit with weird magic stuff, we need to step up our game!”
“Easy for you to say, Miss sudden-growth-spurt and flying!” Rainbow Dash called out.
“Hey! Next time you can throw the weird science-magic compact at your feet and hope for superpowers instead of having your molecules exploded across the multiverse!”
“Dude, can that happen?!” Lemon Zest exclaimed excitedly. “Are their MORE science-magic compacts?! Asking for a friend.”
Daydream groaned and scanned the crowd. “You! Yeah! The Shadowbolt with the short purple hair and cool-looking sun hair clip! Try to keep your crazier students in check!”
Sunny Flare glared at Daydream. “What makes you think that’s my job?!”
“You’re the least tropey of the bunch!” Daydream called out. “And, therefore, the most sane and likely to step in before they do something totally banana-shoes. So hop-to and do some damage control!”
Sunny Flare grit her teeth. “And why should I listen to you?”
“Because I proved my academic intelligence over you AND am clearly physically more apt currently due to magic, by Crystal Prep rules, you have no choice.”
Sunny Flare shook a fist into the air. “Dangit! She’s read the bylaws! Fine!” she snarled. “I’ll try to keep the girls from doing anything too stupid, but for the record, the bar is really frickin’ low here!”
“Noted,” Daydream replied.
Applejack tossed a wayward glance and sideways frown in the direction of Rarity as the girl giddily jogged back to the group with arms full of different colored fabrics. Fabrics she began to compare to the color of the edge of the portal and metal counter inside which the pony was still hiding behind as Pinkie and Fluttershy tried to coax her out. “Okay, well, maybe you should at least talk to Twilight? Get her to.. you know… not be a magical crazy, knowledge-hungry, psycho?!”
Daydream’s lips twisted on her face. “I can maybe deal with the MAGICAL part of that sentence, but her mom’s there and it’s not like I can just walk over to the car and be like, ‘Hey! Sorry! I think we got off on the wrong foot when your daughter absorbed too many magical energies and tried to kill me while threatening the safety of TWO worlds!”
Applejack shrugged. “I’m sure her mom will at least let you explain things.”
Daydream motioned in the direction of the parking lot. “Applejack, she saw everything! EV-ER-Y-THING! And that crazy bitch STILL dragged a magically charged Twilight Sparkle off to the parking lot to have a WORD with her instead of letting someone who CLEARLY has a lot more magical know-how fix this situation.” Daydream let out another sigh. “The stupid idiot...”
Applejack cringed hard.
Daydream frowned. “She’s right behind me, isn’t she?”
Applejack nodded. “She is, but she looks a lot less mad fer someone who was just called a crazy ‘b-word’ and idiot. A stupid one, no less.”
Daydream turned and sighed down at the woman who was, in fact, standing about a meter away. “Look, I think my wallet is currently in another dimension,” she said as she patted at her dress helplessly. “So I’m going to have to contribute to the ‘swear pocket’ later.”
Twilight Velvet just smiled. “It’s fine… really…”
Daydream gave Twilight Velvet a wan smile. “Well, there’s a hole in reality, and both Twilight and I are some kind of avatars of good and evil, so...literally nothing is fine right now, but go on.”
Twilight Velvet chuckled to herself. “Sunset, I know it’s been quite the day for everyone, but I think Twily could really use a friend right now, and it seemed like you might have wanted to connect with her before I interrupted…”
“After dinner!” Twilight Velvet said quickly. “We’ll come right back, I promise!”
"Yeah! Portals can wait!” Night Light shouted from the rolled-down, driver’s side window of a silver sedan. “Our daughter needs friends that aren’t four-legged!"
“HONEY!” Twilight Velvet hissed. “Don’t say stuff like that out loud! We TALKED about this!”
“We did!” Night Light confirmed. “I just didn’t agree to anything.”
“Hey! At least I can talk now!” Spike cried indignantly.
“That’s the spirit!” Night Light replied. “Never give up! Also… What?!”
Daydream's forehead tightened. “Why is it always the talking dog that gets people?” She looked down at Twilight Velvet. "Also, technically I'm a pony."
Midnight Velvet just smiled. "That's fine! You seem nice, is all that matters. Whatever you self-identified as now isn't really an issue."
"What?! No, I'm not like... an otherkin, or anything. I mean, I'm literally a pony from another dimension!" Sunset frowned. "I suppose that explanation doesn't really help my case."
A shriek pierced the air, followed by, "How many times do I have to tell you! Who knows what crazy mutations I'll suffer if I eat your other-worldly oats!"
"Oh, uh... but they're organic!" Fluttershy insisted to the pony that was stroking her large braid like a comfort blanket and huddled in the corner of her shop next to the door.
"Wait... You guys have oats there that AREN'T naturally occurring?! Now I definitely don't want anything to do with your food!"
Daydream snapped her fingers. "I'm like that pony there, except with a horn... Also not quite that neurotic—" Daydream paused to dwell on past tantrums and even somewhat recent panicked responses in the face of a trio of singing Sirens turned humans "—anymore," she qualified.
"Uh..." Daydream rubbed the back of her head. "Well, that's certainly something I could stand to be called more often."
"Hey, is the problem that I'm a dog?!" Spike called out. "I mean, I don't have to be! I can self-identify as a dragon!"
"A dragon that needs to be taken out for walkies and have his food dish refilled daily?" Night Light asked.
"Fuck you, I'm a dragon!" Spike exclaimed.
Daydream pursed her lips for a moment. "That's surprisingly hard to argue with, all things considered."
"Spike!" Twilight Velvet called out. "If you're going to talk, you're going to pay the price for swearing as part of this family! That'll be five dollars!"
"... I don't have any money..."
Twilight Velvet narrowed her eyes in the direction of the car. "I'll start a tab," she said in a threatening tone.
Midnight let out a very audible growl. "See! I can socialize with Spike, he may still be a dog, physically and, uh, dragon in his erm.. heart, but his intelligence has clearly increased and technically—"
"Technically, your father is still right.” Twilight Velvet cried. “Get in the car!"
“Yes! Sweet validation!” Night Light exclaimed.
“But, mom! I can just fly or maybe rip open a portal to our living room-”
Twilight Velvet grit her teeth. “Get. In. The. CAR! NOW!”
Midnight flinched. "Yes'm,” she answered as she opened one of the back doors. “Move over, Spike… I’ve got a lot of feathers composed out of sheer anguish to get back there…”
Twilight Velvet turned back and gave Daydream a nervous smile. “Sorry you had to see that… Are you still up for dinner now?”
“Of course!” Daydream replied cheerfully. “I’d love to!” Daydream answered before turning to Applejack and giving her a double-thumbs up.
Twilight Velvet giggled to herself and practically began to skip back to the car. “She said she’d love to…”
Applejack shook her head. “So, this is your plan?!” she cried as she motioned towards Rarity attempting to take the length of one of the rips in space/time with measuring tape. “Drapes an’ dinner?!”
“Well, do you have a better idea?!” Daydream snapped.
Applejack opened her mouth to speak.
“A non-BARN related plan?!” Daydream snapped.
Applejack frowned heavily and looked around. “Pinkie! Fluttershy! Help me come up with a fool-proof plan to deal with this Twilight situation!”
“Hey! What about me?!” Rainbow Dash protested as Pinkie and Fluttershy came walking up.
“You don’t have any ideas!” Applejack exclaimed. “I know that already.”
Rainbow Dash shot Applejack a dirty look. “Yeah, but still!” She thought for a moment. “Hey! What about Rar—”
“Busy, darlings!” Rarity called out gleefully as she continued to flitter about the portal.
“Knew that, too!” Applejack said. She turned. “Pinkie?”
“How about the S.S. Friendship?” Pinkie offered. “ I mean… it seemed to do the trick all the other times… even if it was friendship violently pointed and shot at someone else those other times!”
“What do you think I was doing!” Daydream said. “But that’s a concept, not a plan! We can’t just apply friendship liberally to the problem area and hope it goes away!”
-o~Across Space and REALLY across time.~o-
“So… if you’re saying if I just make friends I’ll stop having an unquenchable desire to control my surroundings and force people to conform to my ideals?!” Starlight Glimmer asked, hope permeating through her tone.
The left side of Applejack’s mouth twisted into a frown. “Fluttershy?”
“I, er…” Fluttershy tapped her index fingers together as she avoided eye contact with Applejack. “…I want the portal to stay open so I can make friends with real-life talking animals…”
Daydream groaned. “Look, just don’t give the poor girl a heart attack. She seems easier to spook than you, Fluttershy.”
“Don’t worry!” Fluttershy said with a warm smile. “Getting animals to trust me is my specialty!” she asserted as she walked back over to the portal.
“You’re invading my personal bubble!” the pony shrieked. “Personal bubble compromised! Oh, Celestia, why do I have to be on THIS side of the counter where I can’t get to my REAL personal bubble!”
Daydream shook her head. “Well… at least she’s not likely to open her door anytime soon…”
“Uhhhh, think we’re losing sight of what’s really important here!” Rainbow Dash called out.
“More important than the world possibly ending?” Daydream replied.
Rainbow Dash nodded. “We can save the world anytime. What really matters is finding that pennant and beating Crystal Prep!”
Daydream looked at Rainbow Dash in disbelief. “You’re seriously concerned with the competition still?”
“When we’re one event from winning I am!” Rainbow replied.
Applejack gave Rainbow Dash a serious look. “Rainbow, I’m all fer a good competition, but we got more pressin’ things to deal with right now.”
“Hah!” Indigo Zap called out. “Spoken like someone who knows they’re going to lose!”
“Not calling that one out!” Sunny Flare chimed in. “Because I agree!”
Applejack snorted. “Ah take it back… Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie…” she raised a fist to the sky and slowly brought it down. “Let’s get it on.”
Daydream watched with a look of resignation as three of her friends scattered along with the five other Crystal Prep students. This was on top of her principal tussling violently on the ground with another principal all while two other members of the two school’s faculty watched, one of her friends was in visual range (but technically in another dimension) trying to make friends with a xenophobic pony who refused to stop screaming, and a third was busily sewing yellow-orange tassels to a similarly colored curtain in the works.
Vice-Principal Luna looked down at the two principals kicking, scratching, and biting each other on the ground then turned to Dean Cadance. “Okay, this is taking forever. Do you want to get ‘student-faculty’ wasted with me at a dive bar?”
Dean Cadance turned to Luna with stars in her eyes. “More than anything!” she turned and shouted towards the parking lot. “Sweetie! You’re designated driving tonight!”
Shining Armor immediately pumped his fist. “Yessss! All I can drink Shirley Temples and endless chicken strips, here I come!” A frown immediately crossed his face. “But I’m supposed to have dinner with my family!”
“It’s okay, Shiney!” Twilight Velvet called out from the car. “Twily has a friend coming over so we could use the room in the car anyway! You go have fun with Cady!”
“Yay!” Shining Armor called out as he came bounding up to the group. He took a moment to stare at the towering amazon of a woman in front of him, place his arms on her shoulders, and give her a very serious look. “You take good care of my sister, alright?”
“Again! Okay. Just. What?!” Daydream replied.
Shining Armor removed his hands and waved one about dismissively. “You know what? I’m sure you got it handled.”
“I’ve barely had a handle on anything literally all day,” Daydream admitted dryly.
A girl’s voice suddenly pierced the night air.
“Case in point,” Daydream added.
“It’s not in the girl's bathroom!” Pinkie called out.
“Excuse me, but do you bloody mind?!” A woman who owned the scream snapped.
“Only if you have a pennant, inexplicably English accented cello player!” Pinkie replied
Another, much girlier scream rang out.
“It’s not in the boy’s bathroom either!” Rainbow Dash’s voice called out. “Also, sorry, Flash.”
“It’s cool.”
“Why are you on the can while there’s like… a portal to another world outside and your ex and human version of Twilight are sexy magic girls right now?”
“When you gotta go, you gotta go.”
“I’m sure there’s a correct thing to do here,” Daydream mused to the cosmos as she tossed her hands up. “I just can’t be arsed to figure out what it is.”
“Do you need a moment?!” Twilight Velvet called out.
“No!” Daydream called back as she took flight. “In fact, the sooner we leave the better!”
“Great!” Twilight Velvet called from the passenger side of a silver sedan. “Well, please pile in the back with Twilight!”
“Oh, sorry, honey! Please pile back with Midnight!” Twilight Velvet gave Daylight a sheepish look as the girl once again touched terra firma. “Sorry if it smells like dog.”
“I can’t help how I smell, mom!” Spike griped from the center seat.
“Also, the dog talks, now…” Twilight Velvet said with a somewhat worried look on her face as if the two-meter tall woman with magical energy wings might bolt at a moment’s notice.
“I’m used to THAT at least!” Daydream said as she opened the car door and was greeted by a hunched over Midnight glaring at her as the nightmare incarnate horn smoldered against the roof of the car. Sighing to herself, Daydream managed to cram all two meters of herself inside as she retracted her energy wings, though her horn was quite another story. Not being used to accounting for its placement, she managed to burn a trail along the headliner as she sat down, and noted with alarm that she was melting a hole through the roof. Meanwhile, Midnight’s wings remained quite tangible and seemed to occupy almost all available space. With an annoyed grunt, she ruffled them slightly before retracting them to herself as best she could, barely leaving Daydream with enough seat to sit on without placing her posterior on ebony wings.
Perhaps feeling cramped, Spike wordlessly clambered onto MIdnight’s lap who began idly stroking him as she shared a glare with Daydream.
Daydream glanced up. “Uh… we’re kinda destroying the top of the car from the inside back here…”
“T-that’s okay!” Twilight Velvet said hastily. “You two can’t help who you are!”
“...Wow…” Daydream replied. “There’s a lot to unpack from that sentence.”
“Now buckle up, you two!” Twilight Velvet added sweetly.
“Mom, we’re both imbued with magical energies that have basically turned us into demigods! I’m reasonably certain that in the event of a crash this car will break before us, assuming I don’t have time to open a portal in front of us to avoid it to begin with.” Midnight asserted in an irritated tone.
“I said buckle up, young lady! It’s only safe!” Twilight Velvet fired back.
The girls took a break from shooting glares at each other to awkwardly struggle with the seatbelts of the car and strap themselves in. Daydream managed to click her belt into place first and give Midnight a smug look as the dark girl pulled her belt past the dog on her lap and finally got it to click.
Perhaps unaware of the atmosphere behind her, Twilight Velvet clenched her hands in excitement. “Oh, this is so exciting! Twily—Midnight’s first friend over!”
Night Light backed the car out of the spot quickly enough that the two much-taller-than-usual women in the back found themselves lurching forward against their restraints and bumping into the back of car seats with twin grunts.
“Do you girls need more space back there?!” Night Light asked.
“Yes,” both girls replied in unison.
“Well, too bad,” Night Light replied, grumbling something about “Shoulda given me a ride, then…” under his breath. With that, he shifted the car into drive and drove it towards destiny.
Rainbow Dash threw her arms into the air and looked up at the heavens as if it might provide an answer to her current predicament. “This is ridiculous!” she shouted at the night sky as she stood in the courtyard of Canterlot high.
“Which part?” Sunny Flare asked as she idly poked at the buttons on her left electronic arm bracer. “The fact that two of our classmates turned into otherworldly beings that have me seriously reconsidering my personal beliefs on religion, that there’s some sort of horse portal your friend is covering up with a fancy drape that she’s figuring out what color to embroider, or the fact that your pink haired friend has created and printed up ‘Have you seen me?’ fliers for your school’s pennants and has begun posting them?!”
“The last one!” Rainbow Dash griped. “You’d think with the fliers we’d have found it by now!”
“Right,” Sunny Flare replied as she switched to looking at her left bracer and pressing buttons on it. “I see why Sunset Shimmer put me in charge.”
“You’re not doing a very good job of being in charge,” Sugarcoat said flatly as she stood idly by and simply observed the overabundance of shenanigans. Standing next to the white-haired source of dry lines was Sour Sweet who smirked at Sugarcoat’s comment.
Sunny Flare sneered at the unwanted and unsolicited opinion. “How about you try herding a bunch of lunatics and sarcastic assholes?”
“Love you, too, Sunny!” Sour Sweet said in a saccharine tone. “You stick-up your ass reprobate!” she added with a glare.
“Yeah, this is exactly what I’m talking about,” griped Sunny Flare. “I’ve got you two milling around doing your version of the bit with the two old Muppets in the balcony and then I have”—
A manhole cover was suddenly moved from below and clearly terribly vexed Indigo Zap emerged from the dark and dank hole. “Your sewers are filthy!” she griped, as she got back to her feet and brushed muck and grime from her body.
—“That! One of you doing stuff like that!” Sunny Flare said. “And Lemon Zest is too busy in Lemon Zest land listening to like… I don’t know… Misfits or the Dead Kennedys or something.?
“Your references are pretty dated,” Sugarcoat pointed out to Sunny Flare. “You should try watching some shows and listening to some bands that came out in the last couple decades.”
Before Sunny Flare’s words could catch up with her glare, Sour Sweet gasped and once again began to speak in a tone that was so sincere it looped around into the realm of sarcasm. “Oh, wonderful idea, Sugarcoat! Maybe we can all get together and binge some movies, shows, and listen to some albums!”
“Fuck, yeah! Rocking slumber party!” Lemon Zest announced as she seemingly appeared out of nowhere.
Sour Sweet groaned. “Lemon Zest, I was doing my thing, okay? There’s no way we’re all going to get together like a bunch of Canterlot High losers and—”
Lemon Zest dashed up next to Sour Sweet and laid her arm across her shoulders as she held a smartphone in front of her fellow Crystal Prep student and began enthusiastically finger scrolling. “I’ve got like a huuuuuge list of really cool movies and shows we should watch together! Oh man! And my album collection is totally killer!”
“Did you hear what I said?!”
“No! I can’t hear anything you say over my tunes!”
“Right, well I was being sarc…Wait, if you can’t hear anything, how’d you even know what we were talking about getting together?”
“I know! I’m stoked too! It’s going to be so rad just hanging out!”
Sour Sweet sighed and shook her head. “This is just a bonkers amount of fun, you know that?”
“Right?!” Lemon Zest said without a hint of disingenuity.
“Protip,” Sugarcoat said, “I think Lemon Zest only hears what she wants to hear. She’s going to force this slumber party thing until she just gets us all in a room together. Best just lie back and think of Crystal Pep.”
“I heard that!” Lemon Zap said as she thrust her fists into the air. And walked off chanting, “Slumber-par-TAY! Slumber-par-TAY!”
“No, it’s fine girls!” Indigo Zap called out as she whipped her hands on her uniform jacket. “I’ll just stand here literally covered in shit while you bicker about nothing at all!”
“Here and see you, Zap!” Sunny Flare called out. “Your literal situation just seems like such a metaphor for my life that I figured I’d let you experience what it’s like to be surrounded by assholes and dealing with the stuff they produce all the time!”
“Yeah, well…” Zap thought for a second and pointed at Rainbow Dash who had been observing with somewhat detached amusement. “Their sewers are still way grosser than ours!”
Sunny Flare’s forehead crinkled. “Okay, but what does that have to do with me calling you an ass” —
“Wait, time out.” Rainbow Dash said as she formed a ‘T’ with her hands in front of her chest. “Are your sewers are sparkly clean?”
—“Oh, thank God. Finally a break from talking to them all.”
“Well, obviously,” Indigo Zap said. “Everything at Crystal Prep is objectively better than what you guys here have at this garbage school for garbage people.”
Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes. “Says the girl who literally just crawled out of a shit hole.” Rainbow Dash smirked internally. Nice work, brain!
“Fuck yes!” Lemon Zest shouted as the rocker girl appeared almost out of nowhere and dumped a cooler of ice-cold water all over Indigo Zap, effectively rinsing the girl who only flinched slightly as she was completely drenched with water.
“Does she… does she just keep a cooler and ice on hand in case someone says that?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Yes,” Sugarcoat replied simply.
“Oh my, probably very real from all the evidence I’ve collected today, GOD, Zap!” Sunny Flare interrupted. “Why would you think the pennants are hidden in their sewers, anyhow?!”
“They’re filthy mud students!” Indigo Zap countered as she motioned to Rainbow Dash. “Who knows what they’re willing to do to win?!” She glanced about. “They’re probably figuring out some underhanded way to win this entire thing as the loud one distracts us with her inanity.”
“Hey, that’s completely unfair!” Rainbow Dash countered. “Pinkie’s not even here!”
“The pennants are totally not in the gutters which reeeeaaaallly should be cleaned!”
Everyone looked up and took note of the pink-haired high schooler as she scooped up handful after handful of oddly colorful grime.
“But to be fair, they’re filled with like… fifty percent deflated balloon and confetti, so a lot of it is likely my fault.”
“Oh wait, there she is!” Rainbow Dash said.
“Hah!” Indigo Zap exclaimed. “Our gutters are spotless! One more thing we have that’s simply better than your rink-a-dink school for uh… future retail workers.”
Rainbow Dash smirked. “Did you hurt yourself coming up with that one.”
“Shut up!”
Rainbow Dash’s smile grew. “Also, there’s one thing we have that your school doesn’t.”
“A herpes outbreak?” Sunny Flare suggested.
“Hah! Oh shit, burn!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed.
Sugarcoat and Sour Sweet exchanged glances.
“That was a pretty good one,” Sugarcoat admitted.
“Right?” Sour Sweet agreed, earnestly. “I wish I could have come up with something even half as good.”
“She got us good! Nice!” Rainbow Dash said as she offered Sunny Flare a thumbs up.
“Huh?” Sunny Flare replied in a confused tone. “Okay, but why are you happy given I just slammed your school—”
“Your school doesn’t have a portal to another dimension!” Rainbow Dash interrupted.
“Or a good exterior decorator~!” Rarity chimed in as she continued to cover the tear in reality with chique, purple curtains.
“I… DANGIT!” Indigo Zap exclaimed. She turned to Sunny Flare. “We need to find Twilight so she can go back to our school and give us a BETTER portal! Also, you should take up exterior decorating.”
“Going to just ignore that last one, but seriously. The portal that might destroy our entire plane of existence? You want Twilight, who has literally turned into a monster mad with power, to open up a portal on Crystal Prep’s campus?” Sunny Flair asked.
“Yes! Absolutely! But bigger!”
“Juuust checking,” Sunny said dryly.
“You’re doing great keeping everything in order, Sunny!” Sour Sweet called out.
“I don’t think she’s doing well at all,” Sugarcoat added.
Sour Sweet rolled her eyes. “Thanks, Sugarcoat! Your ability to state the obvious remains unparalleled.”
“I don’t see you two helping!” Sunny Flare countered.
“Us?” Sour Sweet said while putting on a hurt expression. “We’re here for moral support!”
Sugarcoat chimed in. “I actually stopped caring around the time I thought we were all going to die.” She paused and added. “In fact, we still might. There are still two girls with suped up powers just running around as far as we all know.”
Indigo Zap glared at her schoolmates. “Well, while you stand around and do nothing, the rest of the Canterlot High team is closing on the pennants for sure!”
Sunny Flare looked around. “Well, the angel chick went to dinner, the pink haired one is cleaning the gutters, the purple haired one is figuring out what trim best matches a tear in the fabric in reality”
—“I’m thinking a light-turquoise~!”
“The rainbow-haired loudmouth is here!”
“Wow, rude!” Rainbow Dash said. “Celestia is still whomping on your principal.”
“Oh, and the country girl is taking bets on which Principal is going to win!
“It’s still anyone’s match here, folks!” Applejack announced from near the center of a group that had gathered to watch the two principals exchange blows with each other on the hard concrete of Canterlot High. Or rather, watch as Principal Celestia straddled the much older Principal Cinch and rained blow after blow on the seemingly helpless Crystal Prep official. “Principal Cinch seems only mildly concussed as she continues her cunning plan of luring Principal Celestia into a false sense of security and merely pretends to swat feebly as Celestia rains blow after blow on her face!”
“O-okay…” Cinch said woozily as Celestia sent another first downwards.
‘Pow!’
“Urrggrlle… I’m wi-willing to accept a partial vict-victory! How’s s-silver medalist and a half sound?”
‘Bam!’
“NOT NEARLY AS SATISFYING AS ME PUMMELING YOUR FACE, YOU STUBBORN OLD BAT!”
“GHHcccchhhh… S-silver medalist and th-th-three quarters!”
‘Smack!’
Applejack continued, “Now taking bets for Cinch at 10 to 1 odds! Come on! Don’t be shy! If the cops were gonna stop any of this they’d have shown up when girls started growin’ wings and shootin’ magic lasers at each other an hour, a few weeks, or even a few months ago!”
Sunny Flare shook her head and looked about her immediate surroundings. “Wait… where’s that other friend of yours, the quiet one?”
“Well, not helping me cover up this eye-sore in space and time!” griped Rarity.
Sunny Flare frowned and looked over her shoulder. “Okay, but she’s not going to sneak up on me and slit my throat, right?”
“Fluttershy?” Rainbow Dash replied in disbelief in a tone suggesting she was also answering the question.
Rarity ceased working on the stitch-work of the drape long enough to raise an eyebrow in Sunny Flare’s direction. “Fluttershy,” she stressed, “you’re worried that Fluttershy might sneak up and kill you.”
Sunny Flare shrugged. “It’s always the quiet ones, you know?”
“I really don’t,” Rarity replied.
“Erm, Sorry, girls!” a timid voice called up.
Sunny Flare covered her neck with her hands as Fluttershy walked up and continued to speak, “I can’t find the pennants anywhere! I checked all classroom pet terrariums, the nearby doghouses of the neighboring houses, and even the pet store downtown! They’re simply nowhere I care about to be found!”
Sunny Flare pursed her lips and thought for a moment. “You know what? I’ll take it.” She said as she lowered her hands. “That’s the kind of crazy that doesn’t require any energy from me.”
“This is… boring as hell and all,” Indigo Zap is, “but we stilll haven’t located either pennant!”
“Whew!” Pinkie said as she wiped sweat from her brow and walked over to join the group. “Cleaned up the gutters and the sewers! I bet we have the cleanest sewers in the entire city now.”
Indigo Zap sighed. “Dang It! Now I need to clean and wax the sewers at school, again!”
Rainbow Dash smirked. “So that’s what that burning smell was.”
“So that’s what that bur—DANG IT!” Indigo Zap cried.
Pinkie giggle snorted at Dash. “Good one! But I’ve been handing out these Pennants and posting them for like two whole hours and I’m beginning to think this whole exercise is kinda on the ridiculous side.”
“I’d call it completely ludicrous,” Sunny Flare quipped.
Pinkie grinned wide as she sauntered up well beyond an arms-length to Sunny flare, leaned under the Canterlot Prep student and craned her neck upwards. “Well, thank you for the compliment.”
Sunny Flare took a few steps backward. “It wasn’t intended as one,” she stated.
Undeterred, Pinkie continued to smile, “Well, sometimes those are the best compliments of all! Anyways!” Pinkie placed her hands on her chest and smiled warmly to herself. “Maybe we’re going about this all wrong! Maybe the pennants aren’t about finding a tiny flag and stick just lying around our school… Maybe, they’re like… a feeling deep inside us.”
Sunny Flare groaned and slapped a palm against her face. “You’re being stupid. Stop being stupid!”
Pinkie grinned widely. “How’s this for stupid?”
—“You’re going to do the exact opposite of what I requested aren’t you?”—
“What if the pennants are really just deep in our hearts!”
—“Yep.”
There was a brief moment where Rainbow Dash and Indigo Zap exchanged looks. “Well… we’ve looked everywhere else…” Rainbow Dash said with a shrug.
A split second later, Rainbow Dash and Indigo Zap had begun their own frantic tussle on the ground as each one attempted to navigate the tangle of limbs to claw at the other’s chest.
“Rainbow Dash, no!” Fluttershy cried.
“Rainbow Dash, yes!” Rainbow replied
Lemon Zest through a fist into the air and smiled gleefully at the scuffle below. “Yeeeeeaaah! Tear her fucking heart out!”
“Because, of COURSE the pennant would be inside one of our bodies,” Sour Sweet said in a rather unconvincingly sweet tone. “That just makesoodles of sense!”
Lemon Zest removed her left headphone from her ear. “Pennant?”
“To be perfectly honest,” Sugarcoat began, “these Friendship Games have been a lot more fun than I figured they’d be.”
“How nice for you,” Sunny Flare said sarcastically.
Sugarcoat glared at Sunny Flare. “You’re not Sour Sweet.”
“She doesn’t have a monopoly on sarcasm, Sugarcoat!” Sunny Flare sighed and shook her head as she brought one of her wrist bands up to her face. “That’s it! I’m going to text Cadence. I’m not getting paid enough for this shit.”
“I don’t think you’re getting paid at all,” Sugarcoat said.
“Wow, you figure that one out on your own?” Sunny Flare replied. “What a clever girl you are. Your parents must be so proud.”
“…Okay, yeah, she’s pretty good,” Sugarcoat admitted to Sour Sweet.
“I know! I wanted to fire back, but I’m not sure I’m prepared for the blistering waves of ‘Fuck you’ that are going to follow.”
“You’re both such delights,” Sunny Flare said as she tapped on a bracer. “Let’s see if we can get someone who should be responsible for this to clean up the mess.”
-~0~Meanwhile, in a large dive bar~0~-
Shining Armor, eyes closed, face locked in a massive smile, held onto a microphone and belted out with all his might, “Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want!”
Sitting in a nearby booth, already littered with shot glasses and still half-full cocktail glasses and beer mugs, Cadance cupped her hands over her mouth and replied, “So tell me what you want, what you really really want!”
Luna also joined in the revels, “Yeah! Sing it, girls!”
Cadance jumped slightly and looked downward as Shining dove directly into the rest of the song, the adult man singing each line as if he was put on the planet just to do so. Reaching towards her jacket pocket, Cadance produced a phone, tapped the screen a few times then chortled. “Oh man, everyone is losing their shit back at Canterlot High right now!”
Luna let out a guffaw. “Wow! I wouldn’t want to be a high-ranking member of their faculty right about now.”
“Hah! Tell me about…” Cadence’s head wrinkled in confusion. “Wait, you’re the Vice-”
Luna cut Cadance off by holding up a single finger as she began draining a beer mug roughly the size of her head. Within seconds it was empty and placed back on the table. “Excuse me! I need, like, THREE more of these here at the table!”
“Three?!” Cadance replied in confusion. “Luna, Shining needs to drive!”
“Right! Sorry! FOUR more and a Shirley Temple!”
Cadance nodded satisfactorily. “That’s better!”
“Hey!” A dark blue-skinned bartender with blue-rimmed glasses, a black beard, and long black hair replied. “I can’t just bring over that many drinks! Legally you have to finish your current drink.”
Cadence pursed her lips. “If I flash you my boobs right now will you just bring over what we ordered? That’s saving time for everyone involved.”
Luna swatted at her compatriots’ shoulder. “Hey!”
“What?” Cadance protested. “It’s pretty much guaranteed I’m going to end up topless in public at some point tonight.”
“Okay, but I have boobs, too, you know?!”
“Oh, right…” Cadance turned back to the bartender. “How about it?! Two sets of jubilees for just bringing our drink order all at once! That’s a boob per alcoholic beverage. Tit-for-tankard! Plus, I’m sure my husband will flash his dick for that Shirley Temple if I ask nicely… Hell, not even that nicely.”
“Taking is too easy, but that’s the way it iiiIIIiiiis!~”
Cadance rotated her left hand and finger-gunned in the direction of the singing Shining. “See?”
“Wow!” The bartender said, his tone still indignant. “You three totally have a deal.”
Cadence and Luna exchanged a quick glance then nodded.
“Alright,” Luna said as the two faculty members curled their fingers down around the button of their shirts and jackets. “On three! One-two-”
“-Three national awards for scientific achievement from a grade schooler!” Twilight Velvet beamed as she motioned to three gold-plated, palm-sized disks lovingly framed and hung up on the wall of her home that also looked like something of a shrine to her children’s accomplishments - academic, athletic, or otherwise - as there was no shortage of Shining Armor and Cadence smiling at the camera or exchanging loving glances.
Daydream Shimmer, her horn inches away from piercing the ceiling, just chuckled. “Yes, I gathered that Twilight is a huge nerd. It’s praiseworthy for sure.”
Twilight Velvet’s face lit up. “Right? Right?”
Midnight Sparkle, her horn likewise a few inches from causing some constant property damage, just stood there with her face buried in her hands. “Mom! She transformed into some being of magical divine purity specifically to oppose me! I don’t think she wants to be my friend.”
Daydream smirked. “Would you believe that’s exactly why I transformed into a being of magical divine purity?”
Twilight Velvet let out a short high-pitched squeal of maternal delight.
Midnight Sparkle simply sneered at Daydream. “Well, maybe I don’t need a friend.”
“As someone who’s been there before, and I mean pretty much EXACTLY there, you need a friend more than ever at this somewhat critical juncture! There’s a body count associated with you going it alone.” Daydream’s gaze hardened. “Hopefully of just ‘one’ if I can help it.”
Twilight Velvet put on a nervous grin as her eyes darted between the two Amazonian-sized entities in front of her. The mood had gone from simply ‘mildly tense’ to ‘mildly deadly’ in a brief few seconds.
“Oh, girls?” Spike, in all his talking dog glory, called out from below. “Could we maybe table the destruction until after dinner?”
Twilight Velvet tried to force a sense of calm onto her face. It didn’t take. “Right! Right! You’ll both feel better with some food in your bellies, you’ll see!”
“Dinner can’t feed the hunger I feel deep inside, Mom!” Midnight countered with a sneer.
Daydream couldn’t help but giggle snort. “Alright, ‘My Chemical Romance’, maybe take it down a notch.”
Spike chuckled to himself. “Good one…”
Daydream tossed a small smile down at the small dog. “Thanks.”
Midnight turned on her heels and shot a look devoid of mercy at Daydream. “I think I’m handling myself pretty well, considering. Less than an hour ago I was a perfectly normal high school student.”
Daydream smirked. “Who was investigating mysterious cases of magic showing up at a high school.”
Midnight’s face tightened. “Regardless, look at me now! Magic changed me into a walking-talking desire to control-and-consume-everything-on-every-world-I-can-get-my-hands-on despite my best intentions!”
“Yes, that’s definitely the road to hellish energies that transforms one into a demon!”
Midnight grit her teeth. “What ‘Slayer’ song did you rip that off from?”
“Ooooh, burn!” Spike chirped.
Midnight wordlessly shot Spike a smug smirk while her mother looked between the girls like a nervous version of a cat clock mounted on the wall behind her. “Uh… I’m just going to check on dinner while you girls sort this out.” She said, sensing her presence wasn’t really helping much of anything. She turned to leave and took a few steps before a thought occurred to her and she turned around. “And remember! No magic!”
“We won’t…” The girls said out in unison.
Twilight Velvet nodded. “Good! I’d hate to get out the fire extinguisher.”
Daydream winced. “Alright, I doubt that would do much, but it’d certainly be added to the list of things I could have done without happening to me today.”
Seemingly satisfied, Twilight Velvet nodded to herself with a smile, turned, and resumed walking towards the kitchen, muttering worries about whether she should have made a vegetarian dish for the unicorn.
“Sooo…” Midnight began, “Do you have any other band references you’d like to belittle my experience with?”
Daydream sighed. “Hypocrisy of both parties aside, again... I’ve been where you are in a very literal sense. I pretty much was you. Except, you know, I was a unicorn, adopted by an immortal alicorn princess... But the same basic thing. I studied hard, had lots of pressure put on me, was told I had an amazing future ahead of me.”
Midnight was silent, just listening intently, which Daylight took to be encouraging. She scratched the back of her head sheepishly. “I kinda went down my own dark path towards power because I felt like I deserved it. I mean, like it was my destiny, right? I used people, betrayed friends... I was a giant b—” She stopped herself, mindful of the swear jar. “—An awful person. Then one day the opportunity came to claim what was ‘rightfully mine’. I used a magic portal between our worlds to nab a magic crown from a pony princess from the other world, thinking I could use it to turn myself into a Princess, and yeah… that went a bit ‘Slayer’ on me.”
Midnight’s expression was the kind you would expect to see from a small child being taught some new fascinating thing. “What was the Princess’s name?” she asked, breathlessly.
Daydream grimaced. “Princess Not-relevant-to-this-conversation!” she said hastily. “The point is, I have a pretty good idea of what you’re going through, and I want to help you!”
Midnight’s brow furrowed. “How? By blasting me into a crater?”
Daydream winced.
“What?”
“Nothing… just… nostalgia. Funny how you think you hit rock bottom then someone blasts the ground out from under you...” she muttered to herself. Snapping her fingers, she turned towards Spike. “Spike who shot at whom with dangerous magical beams first?”
“Oh, that’s easy!” Spike pointed a paw at Midnight.
“Spike! You traitor!” Midnight hissed.
“What? You did!”
Midnight threw her hands into the air. “Okay, okay! So, I went a little power drunk!”
Daydream raised an eyebrow. “You know the healing process can’t begin until you admit what happened back there.”
“Alright! A lot of power drunk!”
“Midnight, you tried to tear the viel of reality between two dimensions to shreds so hard that they might have needed a team of dimensional wizard seamstresses to put them back together! That was a dimensional black-out bender! There should be a twelve-step program invented just for how overkill you went!”
Midnight’s already sour expression wrinkled all the further as she glared death rays at Daydream. Yet, somehow her eyelids wrinkled even further, and Daydream swore could see the first hints of a cry-fest coming on.
“Hey!” a paternal masculine voice called out as its owner entered the room.
Both girls instinctively jumped at the tone, their horns scorching the ceiling just slightly.
Night Light spared the faintest of glances towards the new marks then continued addressing the two beings wrapped in extraordinary magical power in front of him. “You two are being awfully rude!”
“She started it!” Daydream said as she pointed a finger at Midnight.
Midnight just sighed. “Dad, we were just talking!”
“Yeah! Talking while your old man waits for you to sit at the table and your mom pleads for things to go well with the mash potatoes! Stop making us wait!”
Daydream tossed a hand up into the air. “How were we supposed to know dinner was ready! You never told us!”
“I did! Just now!” Night Light insisted. “This is me telling you all that dinner is ready!” he stated as Spike zipped on by his legs.
Daydream’s face contorted in frustration and a few errant sounds that weren’t remotely close to words came out. She turned to Midnight. “Midnight, why is your dad… such a freakin’ dad?!”
Midnight sighed. “I know, right? He thinks he’s so cute.”
Without missing a beat, Night Light replied. “Bitch, I’m adorable!”
“Honey!” Twilight Velvet’s voice chastised from the kitchen. “That’s a fiver for calling one of the children a bad word!”
Night Light’s hand was in and out of his front pocket holding a five-dollar bill all before one could say “Worth it!” which is exactly what Night Light said. He turned and walked back the way he came. “Okay! Dinner time! Sit down already! You girls are standing around acting like youhaven’t had a busy day of solving math problems, riding motorcycles, doing archery, and completely transforming your bodies!”
Daydream and Midnight simply watched Night Light leave for a second, their expressions still smoldering, but markedly less angry than before.
“Your father is exhausting,” Daydream said, “and also right.”
Midnight let out what sounded like a well-rehearsed exasperated gasp as she followed her father. “Now imagine he’s just like that all the time.”
Daydream cringed and fell in step behind Midnight, muttering to herself, “You lucky bitch…”
“I heard the b-word!” Spike called out.
“Ghah! Frickin’ dog ears!” Daydream exclaimed out.
“That’s a dollar!” Spike added.
“I WAS GIFTED A DRESS BY THE INFINITELY UNKNOWABLE POWERS OF THE UNIVERSE TO PERFECTLY COMPLIMENT MY NEW HYPER FEMININE AND ANGELIC FORM!” Daydream shouted. “So, of COURSE, that means no pockets!”
“Wow, rip off!” Spike called out.
“Right?!” Daydream agreed. She shook her head. “I really hope the contents of my pockets come back when this is over. If the infinitely unknowable powers of the universe have stolen my wallet I will be very upset."
Midnight grimaced, feeling around at where her jacket (with its many useful little pockets) had been before her transformation, and noting that her rather large wings were in the place her own backpack had once been. "I suppose that's my fault, too," she said with a sniff.
Daydream punched Midnight lightly in the upper forearm. "Only indirectly, and if you keep me company while I stand in the DMV line to replace my license, all is forgiven."
Midnight stopped for a moment, staring at Daydream as she passed. “Just like that?” she asked, in disbelief.
“I’ve been forgiven for worse, so yeah,” Daydream said with a little smile as she looked over her shoulder. “C’mon, your dad’s food will get cold.”
Despite all that had transpired, Midnight couldn’t help but feel a small smile spread across her own face. Perhaps Daydream’s intentions were simply to forgive and forget after all.
And not a moment later, Daydream clamped her hand around the corner of the dining room entryway so hard that it splintered wood and sent up a fine cloud of drywall as she let out a despairing wail.
Spike let out a started bark.
Twilight Velvet replied with an alarmed “Daydream, honey!”
Night Light replied with an annoyed. “That’s okay. I was going to replace that entire entry-way frame anyhow.
Midnight wheeled on her, her eyes wide with sudden concern. “What’s wrong?” she asked with no trace of sarcasm.
“My phone was in the other pocket!” Daydream all but screamed.
The deep purple of midnight’s face suddenly drained to the point she looked more her former self. “My phone was in my pocket, too!”
Daydreams former happy-go-lucky expression suddenly turned wrathful. “You did this!”
“Hey! I’m just as upset about this as you!” Midnight claimed. “But if we both remain calm, I’m sure we’ll find—”
“Bitch, not only did you suck the magic from all my friends now my phone is God knows where, in a probably literal sense, just because you had a fucking lady-boner for trying to understand everything!”
From the other room Night Light uttered paternal sigh of stern disapproval. “So, this is going to escalate…”
“Girls, calm down!” Twilight Velvet order. “And Sunset, I know you’re a guest, but don’t make me start charging you—”
“Run your tongue across my entire angelic TAINT!” Daydream shouted back.
“Uhh… No thank you?” Twilight Velvet replied in a flustered tone.
“Don’t talk to my mom like that!” Midnight shouted. “Can we PLEASE just calm down and figure this out?”
Daydream’s face hardened. “Better idea. How about I slap your shit until we either get our phones back or I feel a lot better?”
Twilight Velvet. “Erm… a little help here?” she pleaded to anyone in the immediate vicinity.
“I’m doing the puppy dog face as hard as I can!” Shouted Spike. “It’s not working, and I’m an actual puppy dog!”
A mixture of anger and hurt suddenly took control of Midnight’s features. “You’re… you’re serious?”
Daydream raised her right fist in front of her face where it began to glow with fiery red energy that caused all to see it to feel a deep pit open up somewhere inside them. “Serious as the reckoning! I take the loss of something as important as my phone deathly serious. Do you know how long it took me to get that phone just the way I like it?! Oh! And I had to have that titanium case with my personal emblem special made! They don’t just sell those at mall kiosks! Not to mention pictures and videos of my friends lost forever.”
Midnight scoffed. “Like tears in the rain?”
“I was going to say, ‘like wanna-be wizard high-schoolers steppin’ up to be blasted to straight to whatever dark palace coughed up that dresstrosity’.”
“Dear, now would be good!” Twilight Velvet cried, noting her husband was now suddenly absent from what would seemingly be something he really should be backing her up on.
“Hey, maybe if you just took the time to back-up your phone like a reasonably smart person, you wouldn’t be in this mess! You’d still be in that pink eye-sore of an outfit, though.”
“EAT MY DIVINE ASS, MIDNIGHT SPARKLE!”
A maniacal smile suddenly broke through the torment of Midnight’s features. “How about instead I go back to killing you and tearing through reality itself until there’s not a single iota of mystery shrouded from my sight,” Midnight said as she held her hands straight at her sides and dark, flaming energy sprung down from her wrist like blades made out of deep-purple fire. “Don’t worry! I’m sure wherever your phone is, I’ll be sending you to it, very soon.”
“Bring it, tall dark and broody!” Daydream said, adopting a basic defensive stance, her own hands blazing with white hot energy. “I’ve been itchin' to kick someone’s ass that looked just like you for a while now!”
“Is… is it too much to ask you not to do this in the house?” Twilight Velvet asked meekly.
-~o~-Back at Canterlot School-~o~-
Through the haze of rocking tunes and deep bass that permeated her entire body starting at her headphones, Lemon Zest felt a tap on her shoulder. Turning, she saw a pink face framed by curly pink hair smiling at her. She took off her headphones. “‘Sup, party pink gal?”
“Oh, I was just thinking… if someone was telling a story and wanted to build dramatic tension, they should break right here.”
Lemon Zest’s eyes let up and she leveled an index finger at Pinkie Pie. “Holy shit! I was just thinking the same thing! The tension built is going to be off the fucking chain!”
“Right!” Pinkie said as she held up a palm.
The two girls shared a high five than began an intricate hand dance of sliding, finger waggling, and palm tickling as if they had practiced the move hundreds of times as opposed to meeting each other for the first time in their lives.
Applejack looked up from the fat stacks of bills she was counting in her hands and the Rainbow Dash and Indigo Zap still trying to claw out each other’s hearts on the ground. “What in tarnation are those two on about?”
Sunny Flare stared at Lemon Zest for a second, then she slowly turned to stare at Pinkie as the two high schoolers shared a glance as if they knew some sort of deep, unspoken secret no one else did.
Sunny Flare took a deep breath. “Nooooooooope!” she declared as she threw her hands in the air, did an about face, and walked off.
Anxiety ridden, Twilight Velvet watched as her daughter and their family’s dinner guest squared up against each other in their living room. In this case, ‘squared up’ meant charging their hands with magical energies that they planned to fire while standing a few feet away from each other.
What had begun as an exciting day of everyone getting to watch her daughter Twilight Sparkle participate in the friendship game had developed into a magically supercharged duel between the now Midnight Sparkle and one of the rival kids Sunset Shimmer.
Twilight Velvet, being the attentive mother that she was, had defused that situation, or at least she thought she had. Now things had kicked up again because apparently cell phones weren’t built to survive magical transformations! Twilight Velvet herself, her husband, and their, as of this evening, talking dog were in danger! Her house might get destroyed and her daughter magically blasted all because a phone had been lost!
She sighed internally. Teenagers…
Twilight Velvet considered yelling at her daughter to stop, since that had worked before, but now it was The transformed Sunset Shimmer instigating, so interfering might be tantamount to asking her daughter to be blasted a few times and just so maybe things calm down afterwards. Not a very appealing option. Still, something had to be done. The temperature was rising, and she didn’t want to lose her family, house, the contents of it, just because someone’s phone was currently MIA…
Unable to come up with a plan to save life and the living room herself, Twilight Velvet called for her husband. “Dear… A little help?”Come on, Night Light… I could REALLY use some parental support right now. Twilight Velvet looked about and realized her husband was notably not present. “DEAR!” she said more forcefully.
Daydream Shimmer chuckled with a smile unbefitting of someone with an angelic look to them, a smirk seemingly having burned its way onto her face. “What’s he going to do? Dad pun us until we st—”
A blast of freezing atmosphere suddenly shot into the living room and Twilight Velvet flinched at the unexpected noise coming from her left. She looked, and there her husband was, heroically caring a fire extinguisher and shooting both girls center mass with its pressurized contents. Twilight Velvet made a mental note to rewardher husband behind closed doors for his bravery.
The girls shifted tactics from getting ready to blast each other to coughing and waving the gas away from their faces.
Night Light glared at them both. “You girls can light up after dinner, also, no smoking inside the house!”
Twilight Velvet cringed and wondered if her husband had taken so much time simply because he was trying to craft the perfect one-liner to say before dousing the girls. Oh well, he still saved the house. Twilight Velvet thought with a smile.
“Also,” Night Light held up a flat, rectangular item, “Sunset, your phone was in the car.”
“You could have led with that!” Twilight Velvet exclaimed.
Night Light expression turned nervous for a moment. “Also, dinner’s ready,” he added.
For a moment, no one said or did anything. Midnight Sparkle and Daydream Shimmer had switched from glaring at each other with murderous intent to both giving Night Light sour looks, Daydream’s expression softening once she got her phone. Midnight adapted a worn expression, her emotions blown out.
A glowing smile once again spread across Daydream’s face before she broke into a fit of laughter. Laughter that seemingly rolled out of her and into the living room encouraging Twilight Velvet and Night Light to join.
Midnight, for her part, held on to her grumpy countenance and marched past her parents.
Everyone else still followed with her mother and father taking up their usual spots next to each other leaving an empty chair for Daydream to sit right next to her.
Just… fantastic… she thought with a small smile.
-ooo-
“Do you cook at all, Sunset?” Twilight Velvet asked sweetly.
Daydream thought for a moment. “Does thinking really hard about baking the raw cookie dough you get from stores instead of slowly eating it over the course of a few days count?”
Twilight Velvet rose a hand in front of her mouth and suppressed a laugh. “Not as much, no.”
Night Light poured himself a glass of red wine prompting Daydream to fully take in her dinnerware set. She glanced at an empty goblet-shaped wine glass at her setting and sighed. Apparently, whoever set the table was a fan of aesthetics at dinner and mocking teenagers.
“Would you like some wine, Sunset?” Night Light asked.
Daydream’s fingers instantly wrapped around the stem of her glass. “Yes, please!” she said as she held the bowl-shaped glass out.
“Honey! She’s in high school!” Twilight Velvet scolded.
His face barely moving a muscle, Night Light responded, “Sorry, I’ll go get my funnel for the next glass.”
Daydream snort-laughed but managed to keep her glass steady enough for Night Light to pour her a generous serving of wine. “That seems… extreme.”
Twilight Velvet nodded in agreement while Midnight leaned forward slightly to serve herself some food, though she was finding her improved reach was quite useful. She quickly scooped herself out some beef, carrot, and potato stew and snagged a roll while barely having to move more than her arm.
Likewise, soon everyone had dished up their own serving and were quietly eating in between small talk mostly made by Night Light.
“So, Sunset Shimmer… What is it you… do…?” Night Light asked.
Daydream felt an eyebrow instinctively lift upwards as if it was trying to ascend to the heavens. “I’m a magical pony from another dimension who is currently imbued with magic from the combined elements of harmony as they’ve chosen to manifest on my best friends, also, a high school student.”
Night Light nodded. “I’ve recently got into amateur photography!”
—"You clearly asked me that question just so you could talk about your hobby, but okay—"
“Got a DSLR camera at a great price on Black Friday! And I only had to punch two people and wrestle it away from an old lady to get it!”
Midnight smacked a palm against her face.
Twilight Velvet took a large gulp of her own wine. “Dear, I don’t think Sunset needs to know about the violent aspects of how you acquired your goods.”
Daydream glanced at the other two women at the table, then looked at Night Light and simply nodded. “Word. I remember getting quite the deal on my PS4. I had to suplex some dude with crutches to get it.”
Midnight looked at Daydream in shock. “You suplexed an injured person?”
“He wasn’t injured until I supplexed him,” Daylight countered. “I think he had cerebral palsy.”
Midnight’s mouth hung open while her parents continued to politely eat their food and Spike shoved as much of his face into his food dish as possible and an effort to maximize kibble ingested per bite.
Daydream, suddenly realizing she was being too nonchalant, shrugged as her expression turned worried. “If it makes you feel better, those crutches seemed like more of a weapon than a hindrance at the time.”
“You attacked a crippled person!” Midnight shouted. “How the Hell”—
Twilight Velvet narrowed her eyes. “Language, young la—”
“I FEEL THE WORD IS VERY APPROPRIATE IN THIS CASE!” Midnight snapped.
“Fine!” Twilight Velvet growled out. “But keep your voice down.”
Midnight took a deep breath and turned back to Daydream. She motioned to all the literal angelic perfection Daydream was. “How the literal Hell did you end up in that form if you’re willing to lay the smack down on the differently-abled?!”
Night Light piped up, “Hey, all is fair in love and war, and not only is Black Friday retail war, who doesn’t love a good deal?”
Midnight groaned and buried her face into her hands. “I’m so fed up with this…”
“Hi, ‘Fed up with this,’” Night Light said in a paternal tone, “I’m—”
“I’m preemptively rolling my eyes as hard as I can against you,” Midnight informed.
“Same!” Spike called out as patrolled the outskirts of the table for fallen morsels and scraps.
“Look!” Daydream began. “Black Friday practically operates off the Purge rules. The guy’s dad snuck up on me and tried to crush my leg with his foot and said he’d turn his considerable influence as a ‘completely legit carwash owner’ to make sure ‘there was no body to find’. In hindsight, he seemed pretty serious, and I felt bad for attacking his son so we joined forces and laid the smackdown on some old lady to get what we wanted.”
Midnight took a deep breath and let it out. “Let me get this straight… feeling bad about attacking someone with cerebral palsy and perhaps fearing a mob attack from a carwash owner…”
Daydream nodded, “Perhaps,” she parroted.
“… you then formed some sort of savage savings alliance with this man…”
“And his son!” Daydream qualified.
Midnight’s frown deepened. “… you three formed an alliance and trounced an old lady to get a game station…”
“Well, it wasn’t JUST the game station or the old lady! The three of us all had lists and there was other competition.” Daydream flipped a palm upwards and shrugged. “The important thing is everyone who was me got what they wanted! OH! Also, I got laid.”
Twilight Velvet, who was already smiling politely with an ‘Oh, God. Please let it stop’ expression, cleared her throat. “Maybe this isn’t the best dinner conversation.”
Night Light shrugged, “I can stand to hear a little more…”
Midnight stood up and slammed her palms on the table causing all the plates and bowls of food to shake and rattle. “You fucked” —
Twilight Velvet sighed, “Why do we even have a swear jar…”
—“the carwash owner?!”
“What? No!” Daydream replied. “He was married! I fucked the dude with the crutches, his son. Kinda figured I owed him one and he was a surprisingly fun lay… pretty sure I popped his cherry! OH, get this. The next day end up with a mysterious bag of some light blue crystal looking stuff.” Sunset began gathering food on a fork. “Felt like part, ‘hey, thanks!’ part ‘I know where you live!’ but either way I think I scored some meth.” Daydream's expression turned slightly wistful. "That was definitely some crazy Black Friday Buzz I was riding."
Twilight Velvet could feel the veneer of her smile begin to crack but before she could chime in Midnight made an exaggerated collapse back into her chair. “And you were granted… a DIVINE transformation for your troubles,” Midnight said dryly.
Daydream devoured the food at the end of her fork and pointed at Midnight with it. “Weren’t you listening?! I felt bad and SLEPT with… one of the people I physically assaulted! I’d call that a ‘net good deed’! Just, you know… not one covered by any book espousing correct behavior! Plus, I’m pretty sure this form is to guide you through your trying time and make sure you don’t destroy a world or two… That’s a completely separate issue.”
“Hey!” Twilight Velvet said with a bit more force than her other protests.
Daydream turned to face the irritated mother. “Sorry, that was graphic, but your husband’s right about love, war, and black Friday.”
“Not that!” Twilight Velvet exclaimed. “Please don’t call what my daughter is going through an ‘issue’.”
Daydream’s forehead tightened and she took a good, hard look at Midnight who was several feet taller, partially made out of the infinite, uncaring void, near as Sunset could tell, and also sporting a very long, demonstrably dangerous horn from her forehead. “Right. Sorry Twilight, that was rude of me.”
Midnight grunted in displeasure. “It’s Midnight,” she corrected.
Daydream visible winced. “Again, sorry, Midnight. I’m not trying to be disrespectful.”
Midnight smirked. “Oh, that’s just how you normally are.”
“Midnight!” Twilight Velvet exclaimed in a shocked tone.
“Midnight,” Daydream began in a dry tone as she leaned back in her chair, “your mom is being amazingly patient with you. You might want to chill before your dad helps in that regard and we all get blasted again.”
Midnight took a few deep breaths and looked at Daydream. “Okay… I just…I don’t want this to end.”
Daydream’s expression tightened. “What part?”
“Uh… the magic?” Midnight’s expression suddenly became very, very Twilight Sparkle as her eyes began to tear up. “Ever. I’ve wanted this my entire life.”
A sad look crossed Daydream’s for a moment and then she smiled. “It doesn’t. You erm… just don’t…” Daydream looked her up and down. “It doesn’t need to be THIS messed up.”
Twilight Velvet and Night Light exchanged winces, Twilight Velvet was the first to speak up. “Dear, we love you but…” she looked at the condition of the house. “We probably can’t do this every day…”
Midnight took a moment to look over the dining room. Still foggy and cold from her father defusing the situation. Her parents were both smiling at her but… but something was off.
Twilight Velvet’s smile softened a bit. “Maybe you should take your friend up to your room, sweetie!”
Midnight flinched. “Uh… sure… I’ll just…” she looked over at Daydream Shimmer. “…do that…”
Daydream seemed to consider this for a second as an unsure expression danced across her face. “Can I get another glass of wine?”
