• Member Since 13th Apr, 2015
  • offline last seen Sunday

TheSillyDuck


I am not a clever pony.

E

A young, ten-year-old Twilight Sparkle spots a little boy playing all by himself in the morning. She’s seen this boy before, but this is the first time she’s truly noticed him. Unable to place her curious nature to the side, she proceeds to learn things about him that will break her heart.

However, at ten years old, what can she really do about it? What will her family do when she comes to them with questions that belie her age?

Co-wrote with Moonlit Sparkle :twilightsmile:

Sequel found here: A Spike of Remorse Written entirely by Moonlit and TwiDashForever.

Proof read/edited by: Twidashforever and Lunatone Thanks guys!

Featured the day it went up, 12/21! Thank you so all so much for everything. Moonlit and I were absolutely shocked!

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 109 )
IMN

As close to perfection as it could possibly get.

OH THE FEELS!!! SO. MUCH. FEELS!!!:pinkiesad2:

I Loved this story! Very Heart warming!:heart::pinkiesmile::raritystarry::heart:

Omgg... godd work god awesome

Gonna be honest, I love this story. The way you set the story up from start to finish is outstanding. Not to mention the feels are so intense and heartwarming.

Definitely a favourite :twilightsmile::heart:

~Lunatone

Cry like a baby now:fluttercry:

This is really enjoyable. It saddens me how this has so little views.

I'm glad you're getting so much good feedback, though, and I shall follow you.

All of my Yes. All of my Yesses(esses). Every last one. I'm certainly adding this to as many groups as I can.

This story is the drill that will pierce the feature box heavens.

Everyone, thank you so much for all the positive support. I'm going to be honest, this story means a lot to me. I cried, I got frustrated, I even got to the point where I was terrified for Dd to even post (and i almost quit) it but I'm so glad he did.(Which is why it was late being posted) This was an amazing project to work on and I couldn't have asked for better friends to go along for the ride.
But all credit goes to Deputy cause he's one awesome Duck, and totally 20% cooler than me.

6754370

This was such a fun ride to help you with. I was proud to lend a hand, but you shortchange yourself far to much.

Great job, Moonlight Sparkle. This story would not have even been conceived of without you! You should be proud of this.

Relentless dadjokes Night Light is my new favorite Night Light.

6754339 It already has been featured! Huzzah! :pinkiehappy:

I've re-read this about three times tonight. This is the most deserving thing to hit the Featured Box in weeks... and the first story that I've enjoyed this much in a year at least. Everything is pitch-on—even Night Light's Dad Jokes. Though I did notice one line very near the end of Velvet's that was not in quotes... see if you can find it.:raritywink:

All in all, amazing. Well done writers, editor, and pre-reader. Congratulations all around.:twilightblush:

I love Twilight in this story. I love this story.


10/10

6754615
The herbivore joke was pretty good.

6754732
Found it and fixed it! Thank you so much! Hearing this sort of feedback from you, along with everyone else is just... mind blowing. I can't believe the support this story is getting! It means so much, thank you! :twilightsmile:

6754615
Yasssssssssss, Night Light was my favorite! I spent wayyyyy too long trying to come up with the right "Dad Jokes" but it was totally worth it. :pinkiehappy:

6754370
Moonlit, I should be thanking you. This was our colab but if you hadn't found the art and helped get this started I'm not sure it ever would've happened. You kept us on track (mostly anyways :rainbowwild: ) and so many of the scenes that gave me adorabetus were all you. Thank you. The credit is yours. :raritywink:

6753682
Thank you so much! Seeing that said, especially as the FIRST reaction we got to the story? Best. Thing. Ever!!! :pinkiehappy:

6754898 this is beautiful the feels are going to overload my computer boom well I managed to avoid the overload but I think I'm going to need a new pride it gave out from the feels

Just simply amazing. Made my day.

This gets all of my feels. :)

Is it weird I started going all Spike when someone talks about geology?

Wow. This is... Really good! I'm not sure what else to say, other than good job!

Ummmmm... Excuse me? Can you please stop cramming the feels down into my throat?

100th like! This story really deserves it. Nice job! :moustache:

What a dad. They're so cute, all of them, too!:derpytongue2: It seems there is something magical afoot. What is this alternate universe, then?

Might day grant you strength, slumber as you do this night. / Another dawn shall rise to ring in / the sound of joy, each heart basked in warmth.
Awaiting further releases.:fluttershysad:

My heart hurts. This story brought me to happy tears. As someone who has watched the foster care system in Canada fail many families (I'm not a foster kid, but it's failed a few of my former friends) and it breaks my heart every time. This had me crying because the system worked well in this story.

Thanks for making me cry. Thank you.

IMN

6754898

I spotted the mistake the Descendent pointed out later, though I was too overwhelmed to actually mention it.

Haven't read it yet but its probably about the kid being gay and so everyone feels sorry for him and now he gets free cash.

Wow! What more can I say but that this was extremely well written, well paced, and super super cute and feel inducing. Just amazing. Not overly dramatic, angsty, or cute for cutes sake, juuuust right. The best short story I've read in a long time!

6754898
I'm glad to help. Also check for the one time that you didn't capitalize "Sparkle" as a family name in second chapter.:raritywink:

Seriously love this story.

Also, this story is just dad. Very dad.

Okay, only a short way in, and I noticed a few interrobangs. I'm not sure if using those is a good idea, because they're very rare (I've never seen them actually used in a text before), and thus draw attention to themselves, which isn't good for immersion.

6756363 Night Light is dad-as-buck.

A few minor spelling errors here and there. Also sometimes the dialogue/inner monologues seemed somewhat weirdly structured for Twi and Spike, like they weren't how you'd expect a ten or sub-ten-year-old to speak.

Other than those minor gripes, I liked it. Thumbs up from me. :trollestia:

I AM LOOKING UPON THE TALE. IS IT ADEQUATE? MAYBE. AM LOOKING GOOD FOR THE PART OF IT.

That was simply wonderful.

Very good story, and thanks to TD for the heads up about it.

6756198

Sir, that is just uncalled for. Unless you have positive critique or valid criticism, don't make ludicrous claims on a story you haven't read.

Be nice.

~Lunatone

Mah feels. ;.;

10/10 would shed liquid pride again.:fluttercry:

Sir, that was beautiful. Hit me right in the feels hard. Truly a worthy read.

Not one for the human alts. but this one certainly touched my heart.

Well Done :pinkiehappy:

Almost made me tear up towards the end there, well done! I love this story!

AMAZING! :pinkiehappy: this story conveys emotion so strongly, I had to stop myself from shedding a few tears at work. (I will let them loose later as this story is added to my mental catalog of stories I can't forget.):twilightsmile:

This is an amazingly written story. It's fairly believable. Honestly, the only thing that gave me pause (and this is a slight one) was how adult Twilight and Spike sounded in their thoughts. I mean, I could see Twilight, maybe, especially just having her super smart family to talk to and books to read, but with Spike in Kindergarten I find his level of eloquence a small strech, even if he was the smartest kindergartner ever.

However, that isn't that bad of a thing, and this story sparkles with emotions and is so captivating. It's certainly one of my favorites that I have ever read, from any fandom. You've caught everyone's personalities and voice really well. You both deserve, at the very least, a blue ribbon of achievement.

So, yeah. Keep writing. You're super good.

TS

My heart.....

Great story. Definitely a different take on the family dynamic.

6755184
knowledge of geology makes for a well grounded person. and I'm not talking a lot of schist here.

Excellent story, a joy to read.

The Descendant sent me here. This is all quite lovely so far. Extraordinarily minor note:

Her BBBFF was always adapt at cheering her up

Adept, perhaps?

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