• Member Since 29th Jan, 2015
  • offline last seen February 23rd

Moonlit Sparkle


Every adventure requires a first step. Trite, but true, even here.

T

This story is a sequel to A Sparkle of Hope


This story is going to be heavily revised and edited. There will be an announcement for re-release. Please stand by.

Five years have past since Twilight and the Sparkle’s welcomed Spike with open arms into their home. Starting middle school should be easy for the young boy, right? If only things were so simple.

The reality is anything but. For once in his life Spike Sparkle wants someone to notice his pain, something he fought so hard to keep concealed in the past. But when the people you trust the most are too busy dealing with their own lives, sometimes you end up falling through the cracks. A lesson the little boy had learned all too well growing up, before and after meeting Twilight Sparkle.

Since moving in with the Sparkles, Spike never felt more alone in a house full of people. So when his family expects everything to be fine, how long can he keep up the charade?

The truth is never hidden for long, it wants to be told. When it finally is, and the young boy is pushed to the breaking point, it will change everything for him; and for the girl that changed his life.


Cowrote with Twidashforever

Chapters (15)
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Comments ( 61 )

Life is perceptions. The perception of self, the perception of others, and the lies we tell the world. It's always important to keep in mind that just because you think someone is happy doesn't make it so. Only they know if they're happy. And honestly, it's rare for people to know even that.

I wonder what is the problem with Spike. He seems like he's mostly unhappy that he thinks his uniform looks dorky, and he's anxious about new school. The first of which is a rather small problem, and the second could just be nerves instead of a real problem.

... What's that Romance tag here for?

Oh yes. This needed a sequel. *squee*

A lovely story, but advanced physics? For sixth graders? :applejackconfused:

6928825
Maybe it's advanced for sixth graders...

Or maybe he's in advanced classes with older students (which is, if true, something we'll probably find out next update.)

Middle school is the time I remember the sciences no longer being "general science" and splitting out the subjects by years.

Something that amuses me is that... Spike is terrified of what is probably 8th graders. Because when you're in 6th grade... two years older than you is so much older. They're a whole different class of people! Except... they aren't. Not really.

6928988

Flaws in the education system aside, it just reminded me of the scene from men in blackwhere J is being tested.

You ended this chapter on the cliffhangeriest of all cliffhangers, can't wait!

6938582 uh... I guess I'll go check over the next chapter so I can post it this morning instead of almost forgetting like I did yesterday...

You seriously gonna pull out the Adults Are Useless card? Like every damn high school drama under the sun? :ajbemused:

6939308 Nope. not pulling that card. It's of my own experience of needing a teacher to assist me and them refusing because they don't want to get involved. Sad, but it happens. It happened to me, I've seen it happen to others. Most teachers I've had were there only for a paycheck. They aren't useless in this story, they have just not gotten involved because they didn't feel the need to nor felt the need to embarrass a student by intervening.

“I remember him, he’s the one with the three hot girls hanging off him. Tell me, how’d a total wuss like you get three girls to hang off your every word?” Strife asked, his arm slinging around the small boy’s shoulder as he smirked.

“Oh yeah, those are some nice examples of the female form,” Bask said with a chuckle.
“Hell, even the farmer’s daughter was fucking hot,” the black-haired boy said.

“Oh, and don’t worry about those cute girlfriends of yours. They got some new friends to hang out with.” Buck added with a kick to the little boy’s limp foot.

Of course something like this was bound to happen.

6940553 Well then. Just know that there are teachers in the world that care enough that they can go to lengths such as pay gangs, no strings attached, to do a little facial readjustment on bullies. AKA beat the everliving tar out of the fuckers.

sinistergrinpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/LordNetsua-300x199.jpg

6942373 Oh I know there are xD the point of expressing it in the story was to show that there is bad though. Between Turner and Pastel, he did more than she did. She just didn't want to deal with it. For the story though, it's expressed that she just walked away.

Great. It's the bullies students teacher.

What's that? The student is emotionally distressed and has outbursts? Time to punish him and treat him like garbage!

If you really aren't gonna make adults all useless, this has to have some SERIOUS consequences on whoever this musclehead shitbag is, gladly given off by the Sparkles via judicial system. This asshole belongs to a penitentiary's courtyard, better go find a job there instead of a school.

Oh, it's Soarin. Figures he would be a single-issue wonker. Still deserves some administrative action; he's a teacher and a coach, not a sergeant in his barracks.

Poor Celly... why do the kids we care about have to hide these things from us? He'd have a much easier time telling them about it, instead of blindly trusting his testosterone. But teens are teens and will be teens unless traumatized into adulthood, it's a fact of life. Hopefully someone finds out and shoves their hand into that rotten pie. Celly's calls seem promising in that regard. Who knows, maybe we'll get to witness the Sparkles' mettle.

Now, some corrections:

Without you I would of never become friends with Twilight Sparkle.

"would've" or "would have"

Spike, if you ever need anything, you can come see me. Any time, any reason, once so ever.

"whatsoever"

Can I use your phone, I have a few calls to make.

The first clause is a question. It warrants a question mark. Like this: "Can I use your phone? I have a few calls to make."

Aha. The teacher has a softer side indeed. Ssssorta.

It is true that he appears to ignore the older boys' infractions in favor of punishing Spike, though...

Starting to get a decent picture of what's going on with Spike, though. Kinda breaks my heart that he still clams up around Celestia, though...

6949821 Sorry for the missteps. I didn't want to forget to update today so I went ahead and posted from my phone. When everything is said and done I'll go back and recheck every thing. Thank you for your help. :)
Note to self. Autocorrect is not my friend. It hates the word done, it always types down.

Soarin's character design is actually based off an experience that happened to me. Before class one day in middle school(which has been years ago) I had my shirt untucked and a teacher flipped out on me. I was sent to the office and screamed at by an administrator. My mother dealt with the situation but it still left a mark on my mind. (Yeah... I still remember it... bleh.)

Big brother Shining to the rescue!

Anyone else feel a sense of pride in spike?

Huh, that didn't go too excessively bad. I wished on the inside that Shining would come up delivering a lariat, but then I remembered that you can't cut a butterfly out of its cocoon if you want it to have good wings. You only get stronger if you overcome the misery, which Spike did admirably well.

Now Shiny has to give Spike a lesson or two on how to throw a good punch. Preferably hidden from the female Sparkles. And if Bask's crew decide to up the ante, he's gonna have to get involved. Spike's already learned his lesson on bully fighting resolve, it's all a matter of power from here.

Also, I forgot to mention before... how strange it is to see Spike as a junior to the Crusaders for once. He's almost always older than them, at least mentally.

Big Brother AF Shining Armor!

Shoot, Spike. I'm angry at Velvet too for instantly blaming you like that, but getting angry at the world to the point where you slug a mirror? Our boy may need a bit of counseling. Let's hope Night Light doesn't glaze over it with misplaced humor.

... this kid's got issues. Like, Evangelion-level issues.

From now on, we are gonna need some serious focus on the past, to prove how right or wrong he is, and where the Sparkles failed or succeeded.

6959682 Unfortunately my only intention for this story was a 24 hour look into Spike's life. I might write another story with some back story but I'm not sure if I will. I just wanted to write a piece that would show the world that just because you have everything you could want; A family, home, a higher education, etc. it doesn't mean you are happy. And as A Sparkle of Hope ended I realized how much I had emphasized a family would make him happy, but that isn't true. Having a family and being part of a family is two very different things. Which is why his relationship with Twilight Sparkle is different than his relationship with Shining, Night Light, or Twilight Velvet. But we will get to that. :) Thanks for sticking with it for this long.

6959714 While I sincerely appreciate you and your work, Moonlit, I'm gonna say with all words that you better write this sequel. Because while I'm very antipathetic towards Velvet and have no respect whatsoever for Night "joke of a dad" Light, I liked Twilight in the original (though I'm so far neutral since she didn't do anything significant in this fic) and Shining in this one, and really none of them really deserved the sheer virulence in Spike's shrapnel. Leaving them with no way to make their rebuttals is just not fair.

I'm not demanding you go write it as soon as this is over, just don't leave it hanging like that. I hate Khaled Hosseini because he doesn't give his readers closure, please don't follow the same path.

Now, if I am to say one thing Spike doesn't have that he could possibly want, is trust and friendship from his foster family. From the way Night Light and Twilight Velvet behave, they're just absentmindedly being parents instead of trying to bond for real, and there's no way a stunted-in-that-regard preteen that barely knows his own feelings is gonna try approaching first. Hell, it sounds like they never so much as sat and talked things in these five years.

Jeezus why did Velvet... get uppity about this? What the heck. That's not how you act about your normal child who had a day full of bullying and stress and misery, much less a child you've adopted.

6960250
Yeah... definitely not impressed by Night Light's behavior during Velvet's outburst. He seems like a protective dad, looking out for his foster son but... as soon as his wife gets overtly way too angry he does nothing. I get they need to have a unified front and all that so undermining his wife in front of his son is bad but... he needs to be able to stand up to his wife. So far it's seemed that he basically just... doesn't.

Velvet's behavior is the only one that I "get" that Spike feels neglected about. While he's having trouble connecting with Shining and Night Light... it just seems to be just that. He's having trouble connecting with them. Velvet seems like she is actually all the things Spike says his family is: more concerned with dictating his life than learning about him.

6960250 We got about three more chapters to go, and tomorrow's is my absolute favorite. I actually skipped a bunch when I wrote this fic, just so I could write the chapter and get it off my heart. So, hopefully you enjoy the conclusion of the story, and I might write another. It depends where my life takes me at the moment.

6959714

“Yeah, I don’t think anyone could be. I remember the day Shining got into his first fight.”
“There’s a difference,” Spike said as he walked past him.
“Yeah, what's that?”
“He won.”

While this little exchange is understandable, as it shows Spike's lack of self-esteem, he (nor you) have described the details of Shining Armor's first fight.

1. How many people did Shining fight against? One? Three? Five?
2 What kind of people were they? Jocks? Normal people? Skinny creeps that can be downed with a single, good punch?
3. Was Shining prepared beforehand? Being an expert MMA fighter means nothing if your enemies take you completely by surprise.
4. How did the fight end? Did Shining's opponents gave up and ran away, or did he drilled the message into each and every single one of them until they were black and blue, or did a reasonable authority figure help break it up?

Because from what I've seen, it's a tad unreasonable for Spike to compare his first fight to that of Shining's.

Did Shining Armor fight off three, muscular, determined would-be sexual harassers two years his senior and won, despite him not being muscular and being more of a nerd at the age of twelve?

No? Huh. Then maybe Spike should pull his head out of his ass and stop comparing his own experiences to that of others. None of the bad things that had happened in this chapter would've happened if Spike had taken a moment to calm down and think things through.

6961764 You are 100% right. He should of taken the time to look at everything, but instead he let his anger get the best of him. Shining Armor didn't step in to fight the bullies, he came up to make sure his brother was okay. Spike's anger isn't justifiable, that's true, but a lot of anger isn't. A lot of the time we get angry because we feel helpless, so we start grabbing at straws. Night Light tried to comfort Spike and Spike took the first thing he could get, attacking the comment about Shining Armor. Which is why Night Light let it go. He knew he wasn't going to get the chance to talk to Spike, so he just let him go.

Today's chapter(13) doesn't assist much with understanding the anger, but it does reach a turning point. One of which I hope is received in a way that people can relate to. Of course if they can't, I hope they at least enjoy the moments of tension release between the characters.

6961764
You know he's 11 right?

Not the best age for logical arguments or mental reasoning. While he's book smart, that doesn't mean he's mature enough to face such a traumatic event from a logical perspective. Also the story is a slice of his life, literally one day. Events have happened in their past that will have left a lasting impression but they wouldn't discuss because they all already know about them.

6962946 I dispute this. I was very logical at the age of 11, and I had a family since birth. Spike was left to his own thoughts most of his life so he probobly trained himself to be logical faster then any of us.

6963084
6962946

I agree and disagree with both you. Devils advocate here.

While he is young and probably doesn't process things in the terms an adult processes things, he still has the ability to process as a logical thinker would. He's spent his life watching others, seeing how they react to things. When he became a Sparkle he still watched but was also part of a situation where he didn't even get to make the choices for his own life. He fully recognizes that but didn't want to have to face the possibility that if he spoke up would they abandon him. Eventually it all boiled over and he was forced to speak up by a unfortunate human quality;Stress. So I agree with the statement; he's too young to deal with it properly because of his age, because he's never had to deal with the actions of others in the situation he is in now. But I also agree that he has the ability to think logically because he has done it all his life. It's what kept him from ending up in bad situations. It also ended him up in school. He didn't run away from Celestia. He took her offer because he knew he wouldn't get anywhere without her. As well as with Twilight. He accepted her friendship because he knew he didn't want to be alone anymore.

Comment posted by Jack Kellar deleted May 24th, 2016
Comment posted by Moonlit Sparkle deleted May 24th, 2016
Comment posted by Jack Kellar deleted May 24th, 2016
Comment posted by Moonlit Sparkle deleted May 24th, 2016

This chapter feels like its just here to advertise a squeal rather than give a ending to the story.

6969137 the purpose of it was to express Twilight's feelings. Spike already declared all of his issues and Twilight is now having to come to terms with it. My issue is that I've had people come to me about the shipping of which before I was even done with the story I decided to go a different way with the story. Sorry if you feel that way. I am just done with Spike's side of the story.

6969423
Thats cool and all but why not then just use this as an opening or closing chapter for the twilight and rainbow dash story? It shows Spike moving on from what's happened here, gives a picture of what twi feels and how her and dash are doing and how they act when together and if your story is about them before these events it could of been away to book end both stories.
Also side note I guess, I don't care for any of the ships in the story they aren't the reason I read this. But end of the day it's still your story and it's a great story man really great just if I reread it someway down the line i'm just gone end on "Confession" it feels more complete that way, at least to me.

6969625 That's cool. I never intended it to have shipping anyways, it kind of just happened along the way. My only intention was to give a 24 hour look at Spike's life after the events of Sparkle of Hope. Honestly, the only reason why this story happened is because I was angry at the way I made everything seem happy and good at the end, so this was born. I wanted to show that everything wasn't okay just because he had a home now.

There's a huge possibility I might write another short story on the development change for Spike, but this in general was just me releasing some anger and the shipping was the moments reprieve. The entire reason I'm writing the TwiDash companion is just for me to recover from this explosive journey xD

So, yeah. The last chapter is just simple to state that Twilight sees things differently than she did before, just as Spike does now, and it might not balance out the entire story, but the last line means more than anything to me.

Thanks for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

Comment posted by Jtyler12 deleted May 23rd, 2016

Oh my God.

This story beautifully captures all of the elements that come together to form that pit-of-your-stomach feeling on the first day of school. Middle school is an especially hard time, due to the fact that kids are hitting puberty and starting to realize the sexual appeal of others, and this story delivered that perfectly.

You, my good friend, have written a story that has not only made it onto my favorites list, but also made it into the exclusive list of 4 (now 5) stories that have made me cry. Congratulations!

Have a mustache. :moustache:

so how much longer until that sequel?

7240610
I actually haven't started it because I wasn't sure anyone wanted it. My computer is actually broken right now but when I get it back I guess I can start on it. I got to find a better direction for the story because I sort of lost the drive recently. But I will start on it asap. :)

Wy is every fing deleted?

7514164 I havent touched this story since I posted it. I was able to pull the chapters up on fimfiction mobile. Maybe something happened on your device and it didnt bring it up.

Does Spike have depression or angers issues I can't tell

7727995

Probably both. This story didn't come out like I wanted to but my cowriter felt it was perfect so I left it alone.

Sorry :twilightoops:

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