• Member Since 25th Jun, 2018
  • offline last seen 14 minutes ago

Lets Do This


We're going to build an exact copy of Ponyville... right over there! We've got less than a minute!

E

Twilight realizes she's lost track of a book. But it's not just any book... it's that book: the first one she recalls being read to her...

A collaborative work, by the main characters in the story itself. You'll see what I mean...

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 16 )

I'm still not 100% sure who the narrator is supposed to be...

oh noooo, the tale of Nyx? how could she lose that?

9497103
There are four actually, as the point of view changes, although Twilight is the ultimate instigator of all this, as the ending indicates.

When I started writing this story, I found myself writing it as if she was writing it... and I decided to see if I could keep doing that each time the story "changed hooves", so to speak...

9497136
That was sort of what I thought, but then it seemed strange to have it go back to Twilight at the end. Or maybe it wasn't--after all, she's the center of the story. But the slight confusion didn't keep me from enjoying a sweet, heartwarming tale.

This was a really nice story to read. It brought back memories of being a kid and the books that my parents either read to me (I still have my dad's old collection of The Prydain Chronicles that he would read to me) or gave me. The ending in particular then, really moved me. I - and Twilight, and, I suspect, a fair bunch of others - owe our literary tastes to those family members who cared enough to indulge and nurture it. :twilightsmile:

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I've been seeing a few new stories lately with changing viewpoints. They've always made a point for it to be clear whose perspective we're seeing. LDT, I'd recommend doing what you can to add those into this story.

I'll give this a read once you have, so please be sure to let me know.

Zuabug #7 · 1 week ago · · ·

Not my preferred style of writing, but it tugs on the heartstrings for me all the same <3

This was a sweet little story. Figured that Twilight wouldn't be satisfied with fairy tales or standard kids book stuff. :twilightsmile:

axxuy #9 · 1 week ago · · ·

That's adorable, and so very Twilight. I love it.

Chief among these was a very important rule: if a certain lavender alicorn should appear out of nowhere and demand to search your library's holdings, get out of her way and don't ask silly questions. And then alert Princess Cadance as soon as possible.

A wise and necessary precaution.

Very sweet story, that.
Spike breaking narration was a bit odd the first couple of times, sorta feels more suited to a radio play. But it was a fun inclusion nonetheless.

But yeah, great story about nostalgia and parents there.

Absolutely aww-inducing.

Sorry to be the first down-vote, but the switch between first and third person voice was just confusing to me. I'm still not sure if it was Velvet, Twilight, or Cadance narrating.

I'm not a huge fan of first-person narrative in general, so seeing the narrators constantly switch between first and third person felt a bit like someone wrapping you in a warm blanket only to snatch it away just before you start to feel comfortable. However, that's just a matter of personal preference.

I still really like this story. The comedic parts were hilarious - I loved Spike's reaction to the sound of a dropped book, Twilight's exasperation at having to maintain a façade of calm in the Archives, and Cadance's "lavender alicorn" rule. The best part of the story, though, was the flashback to when Twilight Velvet read to her daughter. That part left me in a puddle of emotion.

Have a well-deserved upvote.

9499569
Thanks so much for your feedback! It helps immensely to hear what works and what doesn't for readers. I've been working on making the characters in my stories more motivated and relatable, so it's encouraging to hear that the humor (which in this story mainly comes from the characters commenting in character) works so well for you.

On the overall format of the story (since many have commented on this): the switching between "authorial" and "in-character" voice is intentional (and intentionally jarring). Rather than being a standard third-person narrative, this is four characters trying to collaboratively write a third-person narrative (i.e. by dictation to Spike or someone else) and, as will happen, finding themselves distracted by their own memories and going off on personal tangents. My thinking here was that Twilight, in editing the story at the end, decided to leave in the little asides and diversions, since they reflect the individual personalities and reactions of her friends.

Sure, it's how the story is received that matters, the proof of the pudding is in the eating after all, so it's great to hear different readers' take on this style, both positive and negative. Maybe I'd need to work on the signalling of characters switching into monologue voice to help make this work for more folks (though I really wanted to keep it light, so it wouldn't derail things too much). So this is just by way of explaining what I was going for here, in case it helps.

And oh yeah... filly Twilight is basically weaponized adorkability. Growing up nerdy myself, a lot of the sentiment in the scenes with Velvet comes straight from the heart. So it's wonderful to hear it comes across so well. Thanks again!
:twilightsmile:

Point of order: the Princess of Impending Disaster is clearly Flurry Heart.

In any case, a lovely tribute to the little things in our last with monumental sentimental value. And the Latin Smile Song was a very nice touch. My only issue is that I couldn't tell who the narrator of the first section was. That "uh, no relation" seems to invalidate all of the candidates unless Twilight's human counterpart contributed to the story.

Aside from that, a most touching read. Thank you for it.

9508982
Thanks much for your kind feedback! I was looking for a subject that would let me write about something Twilight really cared about, and found two: books, and her parents. So I put them together, and it worked surprisingly well.

And thanks for calling out the Smile Song reference! I was hoping someone would get it. That was totally an in-joke, though it had some narrative purpose: it was a tongue-in-cheek way of suggesting Velvet's "bouncy, smily" reading of the spell, as opposed to Twilight's "authoritative" version that follows.

Point of order: the Princess of Impending Disaster is clearly Flurry Heart.

I'll let Cadance speak to that:
💕 "Oh absolutely, point taken... Flurry Heart is a sweetie, but we've actually taken to calling her the Princess of Immanent Disaster, since it's essential never to take your eyes off her. We call Twilight the Princess of Impending Disaster because if you get in her way, you run the risk of being trampled by whatever force of darkness is currently chasing her. I know... it's easy to get the two confused!"

My only issue is that I couldn't tell who the narrator of the first section was. That "uh, no relation" seems to invalidate all of the candidates...

It is intended to be Twilight, as the "Princessy stuff" line hints. Twilight isn't a writer of fiction by trade like her mother, so the intent of that aside was to show her jokingly reminding herself to stick to the third-person authorial voice. The whole slipping-out-of-author-voice thing was just something experimental I decided to run with for this story, to make writing it even more fun.

Though I will admit, the first and last sections were the easiest to write. Twilight is my avatar, after all...
:twilightsmile:

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