French by birth, Soldier par choise and brony by the grace of Luna !
Imprisoned in a life marked by solitude and monotony, he sees his existence shift into a surreal strangeness. A new opportunity to become someone better and happier ? Or should he let his new Changeling nature and his new mother guide his life for better or for worse?
Be kind, I'm just starting... No, I'm kidding, be tough, that's how I learn !
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Interesting start. Look forward to more.
So, another broodmate of Thorax it seems
It’s strange that during his lifetime this character was not fired from his job for drinking alcohol before going to work.
Did I understand correctly? Did this character commit suicide before being reborn as a changeling?
It would be better if he died from overwork. (Unfortunately, this happens too often due to the fact that life circumstances force us to work three jobs almost without a break.)
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Speaking from experience (a colleague), if you don't work in an environment requiring contact with people and the work is done, they don't see anything.
Did this character commit suicide before being reborn as a changeling ?
Yes, I found dying overwork was less despairing. And above all, it is an element that will play a big role in these actions.
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nevertheless, in my opinion, suicide is the path of spineless weaklings who choose the easy path.
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This is why they have become a creature who steals love from others in a society based on violence and discretion.
If he had died from overworking, I would probably have reincarnated him as a noble living in Canterlot.
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a nobleman living in Canterlot? Why such luxury? Is this rebirth based on karma that improves your future life for suffering in this one?
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Everything depends on the reasons, in our time it is hard to judge someone.
Pretty good start.
Definitely would like more.
Definitely established for a payoff soon.
Thank you for the update!!
This isn't Thorax, is it? XD
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Nope
What will you do, Thunder?
I think this chapter works well enough to portray the events unfolding and the reason behind them. There isn't a point I think to myself 'Why exactly is this/did that/come to this' as the chapters behind this one answer those questions, and in this chapter, the key points of this scene are portrayed to convince the reader that this is plausible.
I feel like a lot of people connect 'a lot of text' with slow or decent pacing, with 'fewer words' with the opposite, but that is not the case here, it may only indulge in a few paragraphs for each key moment, but the sentences are more justifying their existence and relay all crucial information needed. In other words, it gets to the point.
Yes, this chapter did meet my expectations :)
I think it’s pretty good.👍
👍
I hope Mommy is proud of you, Thunder. You turncoat.
Ooh, I thought he might have tried to leave an olive branch’ with the Guard or Diarchs. But this could be quite a bit more adventurous.
Can’t guess what’s next.
This is an awesome story
Passive feeding hasn’t been discovered or isn’t a viable alternative? That does add a challenge and some risk. I like it.
Sometimes the changeling hive is depicted in the Badlands. Is MC from a different location or does he even know where the hive was? Does he have a food source for his adventures? The Badlands are rather sparse in population.
Hoping the story can truly start soon. All the story so far feels like an extended prologue to set the stage.
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Passive feeding hasn’t been discovered or isn’t a viable alternative?
Compared to Thorax, he is still too ingrained in the predator mentality and falsehood to be capable of effectively feeding passively.
But
Is MC from a different location or does he even know where the hive was?
Yes, he knows the location of the hive which personally, I have always placed in the Undiscovered West
Does he have a food source for his adventures?
That's the whole idea 😉
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He undergoes his third abrupt life change (from human to Changeling, and now to a solitary wanderer). I'm trying to ensure that he follows a progression that feels the most natural. So yes it takes time 😅 sorry
Good job descripting how a facehugger likely felt when it was hatching.
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That's cool and all but where's the human tag?
Speed run childhood. Wee!
Yeet the changelings! Yeeeet!
No yeet for thunder... I see.
Settled on the town at the base of the invaded capital. What could go wrong
If he can overcome this challenge, he might become like a shaolin monk changeling master.
“Look at what has become of you: a rat in the desert.”
“Look at what I have risen above.”
-D. Maul and Obi-wan.
Something like that?
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A little more vampire in critical need of blood, who learns to force himself to feed on animals rather than ponies.
media.tenor.com/eWqoFqIhQ5kAAAAC/sucker-vampire.gif
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Thanks I guess 😅
Magical and crystal... Crystal Heart and the tree of harmony? Was this place part of the crystal empire before it shrunk down to a single city and seal off? You know? Like how British empire collapsed into a wet little island.
Giant bird! What's this? Final Fantasy? He should make a chicken curry out off that bird.
Don't know if it better or worse in the long run but black changelings are cooler than pastel colored changelings. Those guys look like they were designed to turned into toys.
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"Those guys look like they were designed to be turned in toys"
Almost like somebody from a toy company came up with all this stuff.
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Magical and crystal... Crystal Heart and the tree of harmony?
Nothing too crazy, don't worry
Giant bird! What's this? Final Fantasy?
No that the nest of a Roc
Don't know if it better or worse in the long run but black changelings ?
He will always be in disguise in the cities, But maybe one day ....
I wonder how long he can hold this double life.
Both from the Equestrians and Changings
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How long can a man lie?
So I just have to ask. Why did he go to the desertn Like was it to hide out or what?
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to prove that he was capable of controlling his hunger and indirectly hiding from the queen's spies.
And now the story of the solitary traveler stands ... until somepony delve into his past😉
I got a feeling he’s going to catch someone’s attention with that weird crystals of his.
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I don't see what could go wrong, they're just crystals found in a desert where ponies haven't been for a long time ....😁
Not much to say here
Didn't like much, everything is too fast, no depth whatsoever, the reader doesn't have time to care about anything we don't even know the MC properly.
That’s a line with some real grit.
Good luck on your mission, agent Leonedavis, you're going to need it. Make your country proud.
Have a safe journey.
Seems a bit of amourous mood is in the air
I just noticed the romance tag.
Hmmmm🤔
Getting very hooked thank you :)
Good luck on youre mission :)