• Member Since 3rd Oct, 2021
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

Hazmat Man

Trying to write a bio is pain for me.


On the wrong side of bars is the place one doesn't tend to want to find themselves in. Allowed out quick, sure. But with a punishment.

I have found out that I am bad at titles. Making good titles that represent the story is not within my capabilities. Really, how do you expect little old me to pump out a word or two representing an entire story?

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 44 )

What a stupid punishment system. They would defect to enermie's side the moment they can.

Carrot and stick much work together for such an oppressive system to work. Taliban promised 72 virgins in heaven. Communist promised freedom from oppression of ruling class. Capitalism only strong when social mobility still possible.
It doesn't have to be true. Only needed to be percieved as true.


Well the whole idea is that one doesn't remember why whoever it was did it. Of course that would have said offender panic, be angry, and plot revenge.

Panic part? Magic mind tricks. Anger part? Only of what could have been. Revenge? Offender is carefully watched, and has a metaphorical gun stuck to the head. Though he doesn't fully realize that.

Of course, the entire system is based on how prisoners work but at the same time don't have freedom. Just with magic nonsense (Which I will admit is very thickly spread everywhere.) and a bit more "freedom." Its like house arrest, but the prison guards live with you carefully taking shifts watching you.

A penal drone would constantly work, then work, and work some more. Never be outside.

A penal warrior would never be sent to fight a sentient creature that said warrior can join. And have lots of others watch. Penal warriors would also be sent first, what with being valued less.

A penal caretaker would be more dangerous, but it is hard for a caretaker to commit crimes in the medium of penal and most laws in the fictional age I made in my mind probably weren't made with the ones trusted with babies in mind.

Penal guards were a complex idea, but it ultimately ended similar to warriors: Sentient creatures aren't supposed to even get to the hive, not without defeating warriors and deeply rooted infiltrators. Random "animals" are what mainly guards exist to fight, sentient creatures are when all else fails. Penal guards aren't supposed to be exposed to another side and the moment they try to cause trouble (Quite likely to happen) they tend to be dead. It is hard for a penal guard/warrior to join another side when that side is both incredibly stupid and hungry.

Penal infiltrators however, don't exist. They just can't. Their entire role has them go to the other side. A infiltrator with that level of crime is just dead.

Besides, being called a traitor, they weren't thinking he betrayed them to the other side, but to himself. Cowardice/desertion is what they thought to happen. Betraying them to the other side for sure would have rarely got you to get a penal role, instead more likely to get buried six feet under.

Penal ‘lings are prisoners, not pardoned members of society.

Again, quite likely for there to be more holes in my thoughts, but one could theoretically cover them up with ever reliable magic nonsense. Perhaps I will change some things (You have no idea the mass of things I forgot to include and small pacing errors I still find.) but thanks for the feedback nonetheless my friend.

My god, this is quit long.


Also I love the diction and the comedy and the characters and all, but what's the plot of this fic?

Honestly, I look at fic.

I think, human being in magical equine land, I think be changeling.

Strength in Human to magical standard creature thing is the differences between both existences. Characters think is normal guy, guy come from 'nother dimension.

Is slow, yes, but there is beauty in turtle race. And not too slow. I have no plan involving disappearing off of universe only to return later with small amount of words.

Plot? Confusion. Confusion of character to guy who look normal. Shame guy is not normal, eh? At least not in place he is in...

Perhaps plot get better. Who knows? Perhaps get "fleshed" out. Who knows?

I hope it gets better and fleshed out.

I thank you for your comment.

I happy now.

Poor pigeon, treated like garbage for a crime he can’t remember…

I think you are quite literally the only one who thinks that.

Most people, I suspect, feels he got off easy and is being gently petted and given utmost love.

Of course, that is only a suspicion, nothing more.

I am, however, happy that what I am trying to portray hit somebody.

Good day to you my friend.

What exactly did happen to pigeon?

I can’t tell if he is human or what, guess more will be revealed later.

...I thought it was obvious. Perhaps I, knowing the plot well, thought everyone would know it well.

I'm sure you can figure it out, though.


my guess is that he definitely is. small world, bullets, summoning a gun... all human stuff.

Overall really like the story! But I am a little confused, are Phar and Ocellus not the same as they are in canon? Cause canon Celly has Blue eyes which would make her a Drone, and Pharynx has purple eyes which would make him a Caretaker, right?

I needed a clear defining factor for one to know the "subspecies" or "class" of a changeling, so I created a whole entire system based on eye colour (Ridiculous, yes, but it works.), checked the colour of the eyes of Thorax, nodded to myself proudly, realized the fact that every other canon changeling form had rebelled against my head cannon, shrugged, said "Oh, well, that alternate universe tag isn't going to disappear any time soon." and simply adapted.

Also good ol' Phary being a caretaker.. that was a good, chuckle-inducing thing to imagine. Someone should make a story based on that, what with how often he is displayed as tough big bro.

Thank you.

Ah, okay. And yeah, that would be a really funny scenario for him to find himself in. Thanks for answering!

Why don't you like the title of this story?

Simply felt that it didn't embody the story.

Only loosely associated, at most, is what I think of it.

You might want to change/update your synopsis if that's the case. The reader (such as myself) would like to know what I'm reading before I get to start. Nothing too detailed, just a general summary of the plot.

Thank you.

" Shut. Up. "

Every sleepover ever

Thanks for your advice.

I have started to form a cohesive plot, believe it or not. I just need to execute it.

Awww, Pigeon is gonna stay with the bugbros now, yayyy! To bad they're all squished. Maybe Pigeon will take it upon himself to try and create more sleeping space?


the bugbros

My god, you're a genius! That is what they should always be referred to as, anyone thinking otherwise clearly no longer possesses a heart of any kind.

As for sleeping space, I have already partially decided.

Pigeon, as a sentient being, likely will try to find a way to circumvent the squishy problem. Preferably one that doesn't end up with returning to the previous sleeping arrangements. How it would be done is the question.

He might not even have enough time to solve it.

And situations change. They change quickly.

You could say that times are a change(l)ing. (No one had better have taken that joke. I made it up in my mind and if someone managed to get there before me I will be very cross.)

Many people refer to them as the bugbros in fact. There is quite the community of us on NavelColt's Discord server (the blog he gives the link in I can provide if you like). As for the foreshadowing...well, I cannot wait to see what happens

I never knew. I feel as though my brain grew.

(That was completely accidental, trust me.)

I think I will pass on the discord invite, thank you.

Perhaps I bump into you in random other discord server, who knows.

Alright then! Looking forward to the next chapter!

Heh, double whammy on that mind wipe.

Interesting, is Pharynx planning an insurrection? Might not realize it yet though...
Very curious as to how literally all of the guard caste was wiped out.

Questioning the system is a sign of future rebellion.
It does seem like an unorthodox punishment. Perhaps these lings don't have a rebirth/recycle process? But even then, continued punishment post rehabilitation is frankly absurd and wasteful. Change is in the air...

It's the vomit pit!
Yay roomates!

Well, if you had any doubt leftover about whether or not the hive gossips about Pigeon..

I made sure to vanquish it.

Is that why there's no Rainbow Dash tag?

Oh no, what's going on?!


It should be unsurprising people would see loyalty as the title and think rainbow hair.

She'll appear later on, but how large of a role is a question that will likely have the answer of a very small one. Unless something changes in my plan, but that is unlikely.

I hope Thorax and Pharynx made it out safe too...

Silly Queen, we hardly knew you.
Whelp, tutorial has ended, time to adventure properly!

Question: is this some sort of alternate universe where in the night princess believes in killing her enemies instead of sparing them?

I made a whole personality for Luna. A sort of I'm gonna protect friendship with violence if necessary, though it's not so much her as it is her subjects whom have been living on the moon, and were near angry corrupted (and perhaps bloodthirsty) princess. I haven't wrote anything for quite some time due to external circumstances, but I'll probably start again soon and expand the lore so confusion is more minimal.

I can tell you I didn't think much on what Luna would actually do in canon, but I didn't try to purposefully divert from canon either.

thanks for the chapter wonder what these new changelings will be like

From desert to tundra, lings just don't settle in the nice areas, eh?
Interesting how he's retained some survivalist knowledge. Wonder what else is there, waiting to be passively recovered...

I don't mind the wait, was worth it! I wonder what's in store for them next. Also, Gnat seems nice, hi Gnat

Excellent chapter, it was totally worth the wait, personally I think your story has a lot of potential and should be better known, now we just have to wait for the next chapter to see who survived and how the conflict between Changelings and ponies will develop.

It's no problem.
All the nice areas have been taken, sadly.
That's kind of you to say. Still, I'll try to not delay.
Thanks for the motivation. Made me happy.

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