• Member Since 26th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Lapis-Lazuli and Stitch

Profile of Retired Writer, Lapis-Lazuli, and his editor, Stitch / Inky. Thanks for the memories, FiMFiction.



This story is a sequel to Twilight Verbs Article Nouns

Having defeated the scourge of news stories about her banal personal life, Twilight must now face a far greater and more embarrassing threat:

News stories speculating about her nonexistent love life.

She's beginning to get a little annoyed.

Not a one shot anymore, because reasons.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 249 )

I find you posting this disturbingly co-incidental, as I finally find the free time to go back to editing BTM. Are you spying on me, or something, guys?

EDIT: To the read later list, sounds interesting.


Twilight is the Leon Trotsky of Equestria. It makes sense.

Well. Since everyone knew about the operation ahead of time... this can all be easily worked out if everyone just sits down around the table to talk and LOOK OVER THERE WHAT IS THAT?!

:twilightoops: - leaps out of the opposite window.

I loved this and all the little special moments between Twilight and everyone. It was all very in character.

Go to Celestia, she has cake.

5139401 But Luna has the Cheese (The Moon). And Pinkie has Cookies (The Dark Side). Applejack has Pie (:pinkiehappy:). Rainbow can do anything in 10 seconds flat (:pinkiegasp:). Rarity makes Clothing (Sexy Clothing). Fluttershy is just plain Adorable (:yay:).

Need more. Let Twilight's marem come to be.

Wait. Did all five of her friends and Celestia fall in love with Twilight?

BTW. This:

All of it added up to one thing, but she wasn't going

lacks a full stop. Is it incomplete, or did you forget the period?

This was fun. The next step is to ship Twilight with inanimate objects. :derpytongue2:

Could be worse.

They could have caught Dash singing in the shower about how she kissed a Twi and she liked it. :rainbowwild:

The new expert at freight transportation: :twilightangry2:
Shipping like FedEx!

Hahaha! that was awesome!

Oh lol... this seriously should not stay a one-shot!

Ha, I see from the description Twilight has yet to get used to paparazzi and tabloids!

Oh please god let this continue! There needs to be more Smart Horse marem! Especially ones as well-written and funny as this.

5139239 did i miss something? :trixieshiftright: Didn't seem funny. Is it a reference to another story? I don't remember anything like that in the prequel.

Twilight bit at her lip, but did as she was told as Rarity slowly worked the needle through the fabric to pull the two scraps of cloth together.

Indent paragraph

All of it added up to one thing, but she wasn't going

needs end punctuation.

For the love of all things holy, unholy, and candy covered. Do not let this end on this note. We see her battle the presses with insanity, throw a wrench in the works of their shipping attempts. But now we need to see the fall out. Who does she pick? Do we see a Twilight's Marem? What of the losers? This fic is literally too good, and loaded with tasty bits to end just yet.


And then there had been the Discord stack, which blessedly had been completely poofed out of existence by an incredibly irate Discord wearing a yellow and pink sweat-shirt. Twilight had elected not to ask him about the sweatshirt, but she had sent him a thank-you basket. She’d even gotten a thank-you card in return. It’d had a lot of bad puns on it, but it was still nice.

I'm still laughing xD

5140389 yes i had read the story. i thought it might have be n a reference you were laughing at:derpytongue2:

Oh no! Her friends weren't acting!:rainbowlaugh: this is freaking hilarious!

Haven't read it yet, but just looking at the title and description I already feel like laughing. Twilight exports herself. Looks like she's not the only one doing the shipping.

:fluttershysad: "Oh..... my....."

It seems like Twi might have a thing for "Dashie". And it seems like all of her friends might have a thing for her.

I'd love to see this one continue, with Twilight actually giving all of her friends a shot. Starting with Fluttershy because when that mare puts her hoof down and out right straight up non-mumbles asks for a straight up no hiding or fake allusions date you give it to her.

I think Celestia might just be trolling though. Not sure about that one.

And if you don't want to go with an "everypony and Twilight" route you could have Twilight using the dates as a chance to see if her friends are compatible in that manner with each other.

yeah, this needs to not be a one-shot anymore.

Loved it. Excellent writing and premise. Adding more chapters would make this brilliant. Please, let this go on. I await the next chapter eagerly. :pinkiecrazy:

LOL awesome plz write a sequel with more chapters or something

Yeah, i have to admit, i knew really early on exactly how this would all turn up. Still entertaining, though.

Twilight... Twilight, Twilight, Twilight... You've fallen prey to one of the greatest quotes in history.

"A [Mare] meets [her] destiny on the path [she] takes to avoid it."

And another to be watched like a hawk in hopes of stray continuation...

Excellent story, nice touch with Discord. Though if he and Fluttershy don't actually have a thing going, then might he have a chance with Twilight as well?


I dunno about Fluttershy. Given Discord's irate reaction to the Discolight shipping and the sweatshirt he was wearing at the time I think it might not be the best idea for Twilight to try to date Fluttershy. :-)

5140720 no. Twilight deserves everypony. All of them.

Pff. Run with it.

I can understand that her friends all start to crush on her once they begin thinking of her in that light, but why Celestia?


At 250 upvotes, I will strongly consider a second chapter. :trollestia:

:rainbowlaugh: Discord doesn't do stone? Am I the only one who gets that?

Twilight is always screwed isn't she...

She should probably have gone back to Sweetie to make sure the false stories did the rounds, but her taking that meeting might cause the rest of the media to suspect that Twibelle is brewing.

:unsuresweetie: Yes really, Twibelle. It's a terribad pun and I feel super bad for making it.


Sir, you shall have your votes! :twilightoops:

"What have you done!?:twilightangry2::facehoof:"


Your avatar gives me the nostalgic squees, I love it.

Also - Twibelle, huh? Hmm. *puts that in the crackship folder*

Aw dang Twilight was a bit too irresistable there. Once you get a taste you keep coming back for more! :rainbowlaugh:

Ya dun goofed, Sparkle.

Twily should'a just told them she was asexual. That would've put a stop to whatever questions they had. I, erm...assume.

If only she had looked up to see the look in Pinkie’s eyes…


Ok seriously, why isn't Flash Sentry an option? She likes the one from the human world, why not this one?

When I started reading, you had 172 upvotes.
After reading, I went to upvote, and it updated to 200.
Looks like you'll be doing some considering :yay:

I can only approve in the strongest possible terms of this. The phrase 'sparkling wit' exists for configurations of words such as this.

Great one. It reminded me of

"You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?" ;)

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