• Member Since 11th Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen Nov 19th, 2020


Just a nice, polite Canadian.


Having grown tired of seeing ponies worship the very ground that the Princesses walk on, Discord decides that it's high time ponies started worshiping him instead.

In his very own Cult of Chaos, no less.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 68 )

This story was kinda fruity.
Ba-dum tiss

This is shockingly realistic to what anyone would do if they had Discord's power. Just screw around. Well, after awhile anyway.

Appeasing demigods of chaos is surprisingly easy.

Lost it at the DiCs and CoCs

Somewhere, deep in the mountains, the one remaining member of the forgotten 67th Disorder of Chaos and Bad Things feels a sudden rush of disappointment while tending to the altar. Then he laughs to himself, shakes his head, and carries on down the shallow trench in the floor tiles.

Seriously, good story. Although you should possibly hold off on that sugar: it's only a short step from powdered to sugar glass.

I'm liking where your creative processes are going!

Next thing you know will be someone asking Cadence "What do you do, anyway?" and then she has an existential crisis and gets all soulsearch-y and the story would be called "What Is Love?" and oh my gosh I just came up with the best story idea. If anyone uses this I want credit, y'hear?

Everyone will remember the name; James Baxxterr! MUAHAHAHAHA- *cough* damnit

Did Discord really argue on the LOGIC of a childs drawing?

“Do you have time to talk about our Lord of Destruction Discord the draconequus? I’ll only need a few minutes of your time.”

Yes I have time to talk about this 'Lord of Destruction'. However, first let me introduce you to my lord and savior Cuthulu. Have a nice day.

Powdered sugar? I would have given them blue sugar.

7424798 You have a good idea there.

All your fruit baskets belong to Discord! :pinkiecrazy:

This was oddly hilarious.

appropriately chaotic XD have a like :twilightsmile:

I really hope it was powdered sugar, not powered.
Just imagine what dark and chaotic forces power this sugar!!!:pinkiehappy:

To clear up the confusion, tomatoes are fruits.
The difference is that vegetables are parts of the plant itself, while fruit is the ... ehm, fruit of the plant which is formed from it's flowers.
Basically, if it used to be the plant's reproductive organs, it's fruit, if it is any other part of the plant, it's vegetable.

That was hilarious. I enjoyed the acronyms and the imaginary friend stuff. I also loved the allusion to the previous story where Discord tells Celly that she shouldn't kick ponies in the shins after he got kicked on the ribs. Looks like Celestia learned her lesson from her previous story, he's lucky she didn't aim for his face like she considered in the previous story...lol.

But my name is Forces of Darkness... I'm a FoD!
Um... but at least I'm not a DiC, I guess.
... I think I'm going to go now.

Hilarious story, um... (checks author's name). Oh. I really should have realized it was you earlier. Anyway, wonderful job!

I shall worship the spirit of chaos! :flutterrage:

I will keep my house in disarray in his honor.

I'm going to vow to never clean my mess for his pleasure.

I shall leave disaster wherever I go.

And I will preach to all that the Lord of Chaos is the reason the world is kept in shambles.

Praise Discord the mighty inconsistent!


So you use mental disorders for a throwaway gag. How very, very classy of you. "Hey, look at the drooling ponies! Check out that one fighting a butterfly; she doesn't know any better! Isn't this funny?"

This literally made me feel ill. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Oh gaud. This is horrible. It's all dripping with sarcasm and wicked humor.

He owns a stall here that specializes in fruits and vegetables and the like.”
Discord took a faint glance at the near-bursting fruit basket on the ground.

That's terrible.

I want to feel entitled, damn it! I want to feel appreciated! And most importantly: I want free stuff and I want it now!

If it was anyone other than a nearly omnipotent spirit of chaos I say this would be the proper response wouldn't you agree?

One of them picked a fight with a pink butterfly and lost.

Of course he did. Those things are terrifying. Just ask Lulu.

“Don’t be silly, little one. Of course I’m your dad! I just happened to get into an accident since the last time I saw you that made me ten times more handsome than before.”


Discord held up his claws to count on. “First off: the sun doesn’t actually have a face. And I’m sure that even if it did, smiling would the last thing on its mind. Considering it’s on fire! Most likely it would spend all day screaming instead!”

Sadly, not a single pony would go on to believe any of the patients’ wild story involving an irritable, art-critiquing draconequus that traveled the skies with the aid of his belch-powered balloon.

I can't imagine why. This is a world of magical ponies is it not?

“Barry, come quick! There’s a bunch of DICs on our lawn!”


Next story should be weirder, so have no fears. :twilightsmile:

He is being sarcastic right?


Shame the mental patients never came back as a stinger, but eh, they served their purpose.

7425840 ...That's unusual, I may need to get that checked.

7426854 Speaking as someone with an actual mental illness, that particular gag was both hilarious and less offensive than the average depiction of Derpy Hooves.


I'm glad you enjoyed it. I did not.

My reasoning is simple, I thought I'd like this story's humor: I did not.

Well.... ok.

I don't think i'll read this buuut.

Seems like something Discord would do.

Call of Cthulhu comes to mind while reading this story for some reason.

BTW. Don't let the peeps that are triggered get you down.

7429678 I was expecting a bigger backlash, honestly. This story's a lot more mean spirited than my usual stuff. Not on purpose, mind you. Perhaps I was just in a mood.

Thanks for the comment! :twilightsmile:

7429736 We all gotta go a little evil once in a while.

Anything this well done with Discord in it gets an instant like and fav from me, and Discord was just hilarious here from beginning to end.

It's very like him. I can't fault you on characterisation.

This was hilarious... And it only got better. Everything in this was just amazing. I almost wish this were an episode, but I had to keep reminding myself that Hasbro wouldn't do this because it wouldn't be appropriate for the children.

This story was like the Book of Mormon, but with ponies and dick jokes. 9000+/10

Oh boy, this gotta be good.

I could not stop myself from laughing the entire way through this:rainbowlaugh: the humor was random a lot of times (as it should be, this is discord) and was just great.

Next story should be weirder, so have no fears. :twilightsmile:

I can't imagine what's going to come from that.

is this satire?
someone tell me this is satire... please? :applejackunsure:

I reviewed this story in Read It Now Reviews #90.

My review can be found here.

And I have now fulfilled my laugh quota for this week.

Another winner here, Derpy. The instant toilet spell has got to be my favorite.

When's the next DIC meeting?

One with way bigger fruit baskets than Celestia’s! No cantaloupe allowed!”

*Alondro eye-narrows dangerously... because he can't see too well when his eyes are almost closed and he walks into stuff which makes it dangerous...* A properly-ripened cantaloupe is one of the greatest achievements of the summer season. Next to passion fruit, the consumption of such a sublime melon is nigh orgasmic! There can be no forgiveness for such heresy! THOU SHALT BE PUNISHED FOR THINE INSOLENCE TOWARD THE HEAVENLY FRUIT!!!

*Discord screams like a little girl as LORD ALONDRO, THE DEUS EX INSERT explodes from the universal fabric and begins to perform all manner of unspeakably savage and brutal acts upon him that furries would likely find totally hot... which is even MORE horrifying than you can imagine unless you've browsed Derpibooru with all the filters off...* :fluttershbad::raritydespair::pinkiesick:

Discord cleared his throat. “As I was saying… Rule 11: If someone should happen to bring gum to a group meeting—”

Chewing gum on line...

(A movie that the butthurt PC SJW Hollywood culture would NEVER have let be made today...)

Not a single guard nor Princess would dare strike down such an innocent and adorable little foal.

*Alondro bitch-slaps a foal through the wall*

Humans do child abuse RIGHT!! :pinkiecrazy:

7427348 Yes, that's a disappointment. Revisiting failure is a big part of this form of comedy.

Oh my... I can't, I just... can't...

This may be the most in-character depiction of Discord I've seen. You've got him down pat, yo


God i love your stories! I love the DICs too xD

Mary stood beside the window of her home, ushering her husband over to her with a hoof. “Barry, come quick! There’s a bunch of DICs on our lawn!”

Aaaand there go my sides.

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