A pony wakes up to enjoy his 742nd day in Paradise.
He should be alright, though. As long as he doesn't resist the soothing voice inside his head.
Or any of the strings tied to him.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 11th Jul, 2014
- offline last seen Nov 19th, 2020
naturalbornderpy
Just a nice, polite Canadian.
naturalbornderpy
Joined 11th Jul, 2014 ·
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The dark stories are the best stories.
Because you can toy with such concepts as this.
Great work, and glad to see you doing stuff again!
Endlessly repeating the same thing over and over with an overtly cruel edge and regular murder seems entirely non-Discord.
7679872
Maybe it's just the one town.
And besides, you said it yourself, it's non-Discord. It's the last thing anyone would expect him to do. Isn't that the perfect thing to do?
7679894 ...
Touche, Body Pillow Jones. Touche.
Wonderful!
...I, don't know what happened.
Don't get me wrong, this is an AWESOME story, i just don't know WHAT happened on that fateful day.
7680115 a character who we are likely to believe is discord, though it is unsaid in the story won against the princesses. he killed them and to remember his glory on the day he won, he forces everyone to follow the script. if they don't follow the script perfectly down to the facial expressions, he punishes them. the wires are meant to be like marionette strings hooked into every fiber of the ponies beings.
When I first saw the summary, I thought this was going to be some sort of strange bondage story.
Boy was I wrong.
7680191
Thank you so much for telling me! Now it makes sense.
....lol is discord read that he would kill ME! Lol!
But thank you. Now I can read this again and know what is happening.
An excellent little horror story, a fine contribution to the Halloween season.
7679894
That would require Discord to be _genuinely_ random, which on the show he's not. Really. If this is Discord, it's a non-canon alternate interpretation (which I'm fine with: although I will admit, In my personal headcanon, this isn't the work of Discord, but Creepypasta, his even less pleasant cousin.
)
A tasty, tricky, treat, just in time for Halloween/Nightmare Night.
Well done!
See, this is a Discord who deserves to be utterly destroyed. Not simply because he's a killer... he's also very boring about it. Nothing chaotic or unpredictable. He's actually creating HARMONY, albeit in a twisted way. No, there's nothing truly 'Discord' about him. Just a plain anime-type demon who plays puppetmaster in a very predictable manner.
...
I'll be right back.
(Alondro pays that universe a visit and educates this garden-variety god-mode psychopath on what TRULY horrifying monster is capable of)
7681004 This isn't harmony, it's order. There's a pretty big difference.
Honestly, this feels more like something Starlight would do than Discord. He'd find it funny for the first day, then get bored.
Pretty damn good.
I'd like to think of this villain as Discord's brother order.
Also how dare you kill Bon-Bon
I hope you become a famous writer one day because this story was amazing. This story was so so good and original!
Congratulations on another amazing story.
It kinda makes me think that this is discords revenge. And that he was feigning being friendly because being turned to stone was like having his strings being pulled.
He was forced for millenia to endure the same reality, because ponies deemed their state( one of multiple limitless possibilities) the perfect one.
So now victorius, he decided to enact the same punishment on them.
7683365 So, they should have killed him.
Basically, I was right all along!
As usual!
To be honest and blunt, I've seen many of this sort of story. This doesn't reach any level of real horror because to the experienced, it's exceedingly obvious what's going on and it's going to be another 'there is no hope' sort of story, which rapidly induces Darkness Induced Audience Apathy. There is no expectation of salvation, no possibility of escape, no silver lining. There's not even a twist to it. It's bleak and meaningless and one might as well toss the world into a black hole, which would be a HAPPY ending.
Indeed, it has much more in common with general torture fetishism than what is generally considered the higher end of the horror spectrum. There's the bondage and cutting aspect which takes front and center stage in this story, for instance. And indeed, I've seen much of this in the furry fandom over the past 20 years.
Meh Discord is the worst Discord. Not sure this is even Discord the way you wrote him. An unknown force would have been 120 percent better.
Pretty fantastic scenario, but I have to agree that Discord isn't a suitable villain for this. He doesn't have the patience for repetition, not on this scale.
7685631
7685377 After reading the comments and thinking on it, I completely agree. Someone mentioned Discord's "brother" of sorts -- Order -- and that would've been great. Perhaps I only wanted to use Discord because I'm not great with completely original villains. Also having something attached to the MLP world -- considering this short doesn't feature a single nameable character besides Discord -- seemed like the best solution. (Sadly, this story could've been told as a non-fanfiction quite easily.)
Plus I also really liked that cover art.
7683365
Glad you enjoyed this disgusting tale.
7682135
7681557 Thanks for saying so!
7680030 I had a feeling I'd find you here.
7679839 I'm trying to write some "different" material lately to keep things interesting. Doesn't mean it'll work, but damn it, I'll try!
7686147
You know me, just your friendly neighborhood gollum, always watching for the next delicious horror story from nbd XD
7686147 For a named character, Starlight Glimmer off her meds would have been fine enough. The best would have been some unknown force. 20/20 when you always look back.
This is the real reason U.S of A. doesn't mess with Canada. You guys can get almost scary as us. Should know because I've watch the first season of Trailer Park Boys.
I read this while in Salem for Halloween. Really dark stuff. I think I'll read it again!
Oh, think twice...
and now that song is stuck in my head.
...To be fair, Discord isn't so much incorrect as imprecise.
I liked it, but I have a bit of a problem with the whole "every day the starts the same, the same meal is offered every day" thing. Seems very orderly, which would be strange for the god of chaos. I guess the series didn't have him be very chaotic either.
I was ready to be disturbed. I was ready for horror.
I was afraid I'd get Salo or Saw or Hostel.
I got Groundhog's Day sans Bill Murray written by a guy who had once heard of Brad Jones reviewing something called Salo. It was so sterile, so clinical, so note by note. I got no surprises, just a standard torture porn, with surprisingly little gore. Normally you double down if you want to make a name in a world post-Human centipede.
I get what you were going for but it failed to connect. Maybe something with Groundhog's Day but each day is slightly different and he has no idea how. Small things can stack up like practical skills and such but he could never do big things like puzzle out theft or perfect prophecy of one day, or his actions of knowing change the outcome as they normally would meaning his script works until it doesn't. There's some horror.
Sorry. But I just found it a little anemic and plodding.
this is totally OOC for any version of Discord. where's the chaos in just doing the same thing over and over
7679894 he does things because they appeal to him, not cause they make other people thing or anything
The stained-glass window in which Discord first appears in the show depicts him historically operating marionette strings with pony victims. When he corrupts five of the main six, he again appears on screen with marionette strings. It is an inherently discordant thing for ponies to be forced against their will to do things they don't want, especially something as phony as the same day over and over. His corruption flips the nature of a pony (kindness becomes cruel), and the free nature of a pony changing to a prison of wires would be consistent with that pattern and with some of his more malicious actions prior to his eventual reform
7933692 I interpreted it as Discord's repressed rage at being imprisoned for a millennia. Also, I think this is him trying to prove a point to the ponies who love order and harmony so much. I imagine there is a bit of sarcasm in his voice when he talks about "Paradise". Just look at this line here...
"Is this not what you all did before entering Paradise? I am not changing anything, am I? I’m only repeating them. Again and again and again and again…”
He is mocking them and their former way of life by cranking their ideals up to the absolute extreme.
7933692 I think that's the point. We would predict that Discord's paradise would be something "chaotic" but that's just predictable. Discord is a character that is easy to shape into whatever we want because of the basic thing that drives him- chaos. It isn't expected for him to do this, and that's precisely the point.
8036833 enhancing something to the extreme makes it no longer the thing it once was
7933692
Chaos doesn't always mean pandemonium.
I am kind of disappointed in myself. I thought I had commented on this ages ago..
I've read this... maybe three times now? It's still amazing, but part of me wants to see either more POVs or the day that a pony begs, just simply begs, for something, even if it's just more food, better or slightly different food, so that they can all better enjoy his paradise and see how wonderous it is.
It feels like there's a metaphor for an aspect depression or the whole 'rat race' buried deep in here.
Oh this is the kind of horrific story I crave! OwO
Espically loved the life on cloud 9’s reading ^^
Great story! I actually did a reading of this story on my YouTube channel, here's a link if you'd like to check it out.
https://youtu.be/cZiViqO33N8