• Member Since 29th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen Apr 6th, 2019

Bucking Nonsense


A Little Nonsense Now And Then Is Relished By The Wisest Men.

T

King Sombra survived the power of the Crystal Heart, and for a moment, it seemed as if his victory was assured. And then something unexpected happened...

He stepped on a nail.

CRACK FIC!!!

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 103 )

That—Just—I don't—Ow. Just ow. :twilightoops:
I think that Sombra's reaction was entirely appropriate given the situation. It would be bad enough for a human to step on a nail, but at least the nail would probably pierce through the other side and then it couldn't get any worse. But for a pony, that nail is going to keep on piercing though flesh until the entire nail is embedded in his leg.
Again, ow.

Celestia, Luna, and Cadance wear boots too. Are they just for decoration, or might they be able to sympathize with Sombra. Maybe there's some reason why all of Equestrian royalty has sensitive hooves.

Next up: Chapter 2: Tetanus Shots.

Also, I feel like there's a "For Want of a Nail" joke somewhere around here, just waiting to be made.

I’m noticing that you seem to like Sombra almost as much as you like changelings. And then, we get this Bucking Nonsense.

BN, DESBA.

5005041
Yeah, and it may not just be him: Rarity once injured herself by poking her hooves with a sewing needle. You try that with a real horse's hoof, the needle would bend. Likewise, anyone who tries to put horse shoes on a horse will tell you that a nail doesn't just go in like the hoof was butter: It takes solid nails and some serious hammering to get those nails to go in (My father used to shoe horses, so I know a little bit about it. You have to hit those nails hard, and repeatedly. Horse's hooves are HARD). I think that maybe unicorns and pegasai may just have softer and more sensitive hooves. Makes sense with pegasai: They spend so much time airborne, their hooves aren't toughened like an earth pony's would be. Likewise, a unicorn is more reliant upon their horn to do stuff, instead of their hooves, so they're not 'hardened' like an earth pony's would be.

[youtube=Rlv-T6mKVH8]

5005064
I like Sombra and Changelings primarily because there is so little canon about them, so I can go hog-wild on my fic writing: Almost any other character in the story has oodles and oodles of canon to adhere to, but with these two, the sky is the limit :pinkiehappy: .

5005077
That all may be true for real horses, but these ponies are made out of marshmallows. :twilightsmile:

For richness of nails, the Empire was not lost?

5005118
Madness is exactly what it is. CRACKFIC!!!

5005077
The frog is quite sensitive, though, unlike the hoof wall. The sole can also be weak, depending on the horse's health and behavior, and is frequently bruised by stones (or other sharp objects), hard landings, and snow.

5005125 NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! TO THE ABYSS WITH YOU!

Is this the one where he serenders to the prisses changling one

5005085
The sky’s only the limit if you don’t have what it takes to push further and pierce the heavens!

and those six interlopers (Seven, if you counted that meddling dragon).

So...seven interlopers. Why would there be an "if"?

I stepped on a tact once, barefoot. Sombra handled things way better than I did

Huh, that is quite funny, especially since Sombra is now bound with some Universal Rules.

I especially liked this part:

"AGONY! AGONY!!! IT HURTS WORSE THAN ANYTHING I'VE EVER FELT BEFORE IN MY LIFE!!! IT'S IN THE BONE!!! THE NAIL IS IN THE BONE!!! AGONY!!!"

Reminds me of this (the part after 3:55):

Totally using Haz-Bo-Ro SOMEWHERE in a fic. That's just too awesome, lol

This is one of the funniest fits I've ever seen. I hope to see more of this.:pinkiehappy:

5005483 My dad nailed his thumb to a plank once.

Nice to see I'm not the only one writing about Sombra having a bad day.
38.media.tumblr.com/6a83a596d7e6677d7d3619389504ecd5/tumblr_mll9nzPvts1rseelpo1_400.gif
Mmmmmhhh?

LOL ... I suppose one COULD argue that the oath was made under duress, but there's no need for anypony to let Sombra know that until later. :scootangel: Glad to see Flutters being her best self here and defusing the whole thing. A nail?! Owwwwwwch! And I thought the time I stepped on a sewing needle was bad (It was damn near perpendicular to the floor due to being in a pile of dirty clothes)!

On a very random note, what would happen if they tried to use the Heart as a lens for the Elements? Anything? Or are they auto-targeted towards the biggest source of evil in range?

I read the part with Sombre screaming in pain in Button Mash's voice.

Eh. It was funny.

But.. Sombra, really? A nail is the worst thing ever?

i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/000/223/530/funny-I-hope-you-step-on-Lego.jpg

Is there more to this?
(Eyeing the "Incomplete")

5006249
Well, I admit, I was looking at the image for your story when I noticed the boots on Sombra's hooves. That helped for inspiration.

5005077

That actually only makes sense with pegasi(useses) though. Yeah, unicorns use their horns, but they're still walking around just as much as earth ponies, so it really wouldn't make a difference.

Just go with the marshmallow idea. :pinkiehappy:

5006231 Ouch. Just thinking about it :raritydespair: ...

I hope it was just a small nail and not a galvanized one. Those things could have drilled a gaping hole through this thumb.

5009447 It was a skinny one, and he had to get some reconstructive work done on the nail.(i.e. They pulled it off so it would grow back correctly.)

And fyi, he tripped over the family Wienerdog, fell forward, and his thumb just happened to land on said nail when he hit the ground.

That's nothing short of just unlucky. And you say his nail was pulled out? That must have stung for weeks.

For want of a nail... the kingdom was lost ~

NAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIII!
I saw a bird.
...
It was pretty.
...
Kick its ass.:trollestia:

I am beginning to wonder if there is a way to favorite one of your stories at the moment you post it.
I have now added this one to my hord.

5005483
>be 12
>build crappy clubhouse out of scrap would
>spill nails, some get lost in grass (don't notice those)
>next day barefoot
>nail poking out the top of my foot

Damnit, author! You did it again! You started something good, then stop it and start another good story! With such great amount of talent as you have it calls "torturing tour readers"! Why do you do such things! :fluttershysad: :applecry::fluttercry:

For want of a nail...

Wait, no, for incredibly painful accidental discovery of a nail, a kingdom was lost.

5005077

There is a soft part of the hoof - the frog. If the nail went through that, well, it'd probably go in easy enough given steel's tensile strength and a horse's weight.

It'd be pretty messed up though since the frog is a major part of a horse's circulatory system. Their heart can't pump blood back up the legs (too long a trip), so when the horse walks around the frog serves as a kind of pump at the base of each hoof to get the blood back to the heart for oxygenation.

So... given all of that, did Sombra basically just have a heart attack?

You regret nothing, and that's how it should be! This fic is great :rainbowlaugh:

5015218
I can't help it. I think my muse has ADHD, and can't focus on any one thing for long :pinkiesick:

At least it wasn't a lego. I've stepped on a nail before, excruciating. Stepping on a lego… it gave me super aids. :rainbowderp:

NEW CHAPTER UP!!!

I REGRET NOTHING!!!

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