"Did you truly think that would be sufficient to stop me?"
Sombra chuckled wickedly at the looks of stunned disbelief on the faces of his crystal slaves... to say nothing of that pink princess, that knight, and those six interlopers (Seven, if you counted that meddling dragon). They truly thought that the Crystal Heart could stop him? If the relic had served as an anathema to him, then why would the tyrant not have destroyed it immediately? In fact, how could he have stolen it in the first place?
True, the addition of an alicorn's power had been disquieting, but rather than simply staring at the events transpiring before him like a dunce, Sombra had used the seconds between the Crystal Heart's retrieval and the unleashing of its full power to infuse his armor with sufficient energy to allow him to withstand the blast. True, the blast wave had knocked all of his armor off, but it was well worth it: The despair that his subjects now felt, seeing their invincible master standing triumphant before them, was quickly ensuring that they would not have enough hope left within them for a second attempt, and the pink alicorn was far too drained to fight any further.
Victory was his! Soon, so would vengeance. Yes... sweet, delicious, munchy-crunchy vengeance. Celestia would pay, as would Luna, for imprisoning him for a thousand years. First things, first, though: He would put an end to these meddlers, once and for all. King Sombra stepped forward, preparing a spell that would blast the entire lot of them into subatomic particles, and...
--------------------------------------
Twilight Sparkle had flinched when she saw King Sombra's horn begin to glow. She could feel him pulling magic from the world around him, crafting it into a spell that, even from here, she could tell was several orders of magnitude beyond anything she could hope to stop. She was done for, and so were her friends...
Then suddenly, the spell stopped, and she saw Sombra was just standing there. Why would he...?
The tyrant's mouth slowly dropped open, and is right lower eyelid began to twitch. It seemed as if something was happening to him. Could the Crystal Heart's effect have been delayed? Had she and her friends succeeded after all? Maybe...
Fluttershy, watching all of this with confusion, asked, "Um, are you okay, Mister...?"
She was cut off when, suddenly, Sombra began screaming, dancing around on his back legs while clutching his left foreleg. While at the start, it was impossible to make sense of what he was shrieking, but after a moment, words began to form...
"OW MY HOOF! OW OW OW OW OW!!! IT HURTS!!!"
While it was hard to make out from this distance , Twilight could see a glint of metal from the hoof that Sombra was clutching. It seemed almost as if... he'd stepped on a nail.
"AGONY! AGONY!!! IT HURTS WORSE THAN ANYTHING I'VE EVER FELT BEFORE IN MY LIFE!!! IT'S IN THE BONE!!! THE NAIL IS IN THE BONE!!! AGONY!!!"
The tyrant fell on his back, and began wildly swinging his hoof about, still shrieking like a small colt. As the display continued, Fluttershy calmly began walking up to the stallion, an almost serene expression on her face. What... what was she doing?
"WOE IS ME!!! ALL IS PAIN!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT!!! I REGRET EVERYTHING I'VE EVER DONE!!!"
While Sombra continued shrieking his head off, Fluttershy gently took his injured hoof to her mouth, and with a well practiced motion, began gently teasing the nail out.
"BY THE FAUST, I SWEAR, I'M SORRY! I"LL END MY EVIL WAYS! I'LL REFORM!!! I'LL USE MY POWERS FOR GOOD, INSTEAD OF EVIL!!! I'LL EMBRACE LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP!!! JUST PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!!"
Fluttershy succeeded in removing the nail, and... Sombra did not seem to notice. Instead, he continued as if the nail was still there while Fluttershy began cleaning, and then bandaging, his hoof, as if this was all perfectly normal.
"I'LL PERSONALLY APOLOGIZE TO EVERY PONY I'VE EVER HURT!!! EVER INSULTED!!! EVER EVEN LOOKED AT FUNNY!!! I'LL WRITE A FIVE HUNDRED PAGE APOLOGY LETTER THE PRINCESSES!!! NO, I'LL ENGRAVE IT INTO THE SIDE OF A MOUNTAIN!!! WITH MY FACE!!! JUST PLEASE, SOMEPONY, MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY!!!"
"All done," Fluttershy exclaimed cheerfully, after putting the final touches upon the bandage.
"I'LL... wait, what?"
------------------------------------
Sombra was startled to find that the pain had suddenly vanished. Looking at his now neatly bandaged hoof in shock, he realized that somepony had actually pulled the nail out of his hoof and tended to the wound. He looked up... into the eyes of an angel. A pegasus maiden was looking at him with a smile on her face, fit to melt even his black heart. Finding himself suddenly blushing without understanding why, Sombra looked away... and then almost fainted when, almost like putting icing on the cake, she gave his hoof a little kiss...
Sombra's face began to burn brighter, suddenly ashamed with himself. In the pain of just moments before, he had forgotten himself. He stood, then took in his surroundings, seeing an entire city's worth of ponies who were desperately trying not to laugh... and failing. He'd just succeeded in making a total donkey of himself, not just in front of this pretty young lady, but in front of the entire Crystal Empire. He'd never be able to win back their fear and/or respect after that little display. And all because of a stupid nail...
Almost rhetorically, Sombra asked, "Am I the only one who finds this to be a little bit awkward?"
The little dragon, perfectly deadpan, said, "I'm pretty sure that everypony is finding this situation to be really, really awkward."
Suddenly horrified, Sombra realized something: He'd not just embarrassed himself in front of the entire Crystal Empire, but had sworn, publicly, in the name of the Faust that he would mend his ways...
To break an oath made to the Faust, the McCarthy, or the Larson would have dire consequences. The wrath of the Haz-Bo-Ro, the ones who ruled the cosmos, would befall anypony who broke such an oath. If he did not reform, or at least make a genuine attempt at doing so, then bad luck and misfortune would infest his pathetic soul for all eternity...
Suddenly, Sombra's stomach rumbled, loudly. Right. After a thousand years, there was no reason why he wouldn't be hungry. And he really, really, really needed to go to the little colt's room.
Looking over at the pink princess, Sombra said, "I'm going to find the nearest outhouse. When I get back, I expect to see a meal fit for a king. After I'm done eating, we can discuss the terms of my surrender." Fixing the alicorn with a glare fit to make her, and every pony within fifty paces of her, flinch, he asked, "Any objections?"
Shaking her head, the princess said, "No. Just make sure you wash your hooves."
Sombra took a step, then stopped, hissing in pain. Right, he'd forgotten: No boots. Turning back towards the princess, he said, "Before that, could you send somepony to get my spare boots? They should be by my bed."
The princess confused, asked, "Why do you need them?"
Blushing bright red, Sombra admitted, "I've got very sensitive hooves."
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5004802 SPACE!!
5005023
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SPACESHIP!!!
That—Just—I don't—Ow. Just ow.
I think that Sombra's reaction was entirely appropriate given the situation. It would be bad enough for a human to step on a nail, but at least the nail would probably pierce through the other side and then it couldn't get any worse. But for a pony, that nail is going to keep on piercing though flesh until the entire nail is embedded in his leg.
Again, ow.
Celestia, Luna, and Cadance wear boots too. Are they just for decoration, or might they be able to sympathize with Sombra. Maybe there's some reason why all of Equestrian royalty has sensitive hooves.
Next up: Chapter 2: Tetanus Shots.
Also, I feel like there's a "For Want of a Nail" joke somewhere around here, just waiting to be made.
I’m noticing that you seem to like Sombra almost as much as you like changelings. And then, we get this Bucking Nonsense.
BN, DESBA.
5005041
Yeah, and it may not just be him: Rarity once injured herself by poking her hooves with a sewing needle. You try that with a real horse's hoof, the needle would bend. Likewise, anyone who tries to put horse shoes on a horse will tell you that a nail doesn't just go in like the hoof was butter: It takes solid nails and some serious hammering to get those nails to go in (My father used to shoe horses, so I know a little bit about it. You have to hit those nails hard, and repeatedly. Horse's hooves are HARD). I think that maybe unicorns and pegasai may just have softer and more sensitive hooves. Makes sense with pegasai: They spend so much time airborne, their hooves aren't toughened like an earth pony's would be. Likewise, a unicorn is more reliant upon their horn to do stuff, instead of their hooves, so they're not 'hardened' like an earth pony's would be.
5005064
I like Sombra and Changelings primarily because there is so little canon about them, so I can go hog-wild on my fic writing: Almost any other character in the story has oodles and oodles of canon to adhere to, but with these two, the sky is the limit .
5005077
That all may be true for real horses, but these ponies are made out of marshmallows.
For richness of nails, the Empire was not lost?
What madness is this!?!
5005118
Madness is exactly what it is. CRACKFIC!!!
5005077
The frog is quite sensitive, though, unlike the hoof wall. The sole can also be weak, depending on the horse's health and behavior, and is frequently bruised by stones (or other sharp objects), hard landings, and snow.
5005034 Space is awesome!!!
...Too loud?
5005125 NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! TO THE ABYSS WITH YOU!
Is this the one where he serenders to the prisses changling one
5005085
The sky’s only the limit if you don’t have what it takes to push further and pierce the heavens!
So...seven interlopers. Why would there be an "if"?
I stepped on a tact once, barefoot. Sombra handled things way better than I did
Huh, that is quite funny, especially since Sombra is now bound with some Universal Rules.
I especially liked this part:
Reminds me of this (the part after 3:55):
Totally using Haz-Bo-Ro SOMEWHERE in a fic. That's just too awesome, lol
This is one of the funniest fits I've ever seen. I hope to see more of this.
5005483 My dad nailed his thumb to a plank once.
Nice to see I'm not the only one writing about Sombra having a bad day.
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Mmmmmhhh?
LOL ... I suppose one COULD argue that the oath was made under duress, but there's no need for anypony to let Sombra know that until later. Glad to see Flutters being her best self here and defusing the whole thing. A nail?! Owwwwwwch! And I thought the time I stepped on a sewing needle was bad (It was damn near perpendicular to the floor due to being in a pile of dirty clothes)!
On a very random note, what would happen if they tried to use the Heart as a lens for the Elements? Anything? Or are they auto-targeted towards the biggest source of evil in range?
I read the part with Sombre screaming in pain in Button Mash's voice.
That is all.
Eh. It was funny.
But.. Sombra, really? A nail is the worst thing ever?
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Is there more to this?
(Eyeing the "Incomplete")
5006249
Well, I admit, I was looking at the image for your story when I noticed the boots on Sombra's hooves. That helped for inspiration.
5008245 5007645 5006249
I'm looking forward to seeing how Sombra would react to stepping on a lego block.
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5005077
That actually only makes sense with pegasi(useses) though. Yeah, unicorns use their horns, but they're still walking around just as much as earth ponies, so it really wouldn't make a difference.
Just go with the marshmallow idea.
5006231 Ouch. Just thinking about it ...
I hope it was just a small nail and not a galvanized one. Those things could have drilled a gaping hole through this thumb.
5009447 It was a skinny one, and he had to get some reconstructive work done on the nail.(i.e. They pulled it off so it would grow back correctly.)
And fyi, he tripped over the family Wienerdog, fell forward, and his thumb just happened to land on said nail when he hit the ground.
That's nothing short of just unlucky. And you say his nail was pulled out? That must have stung for weeks.
5005034 STARSHIP!
For want of a nail... the kingdom was lost ~
NAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIII!
I saw a bird.
...
It was pretty.
...
Kick its ass.
I am beginning to wonder if there is a way to favorite one of your stories at the moment you post it.
I have now added this one to my hord.
5005483
>be 12
>build crappy clubhouse out of scrap would
>spill nails, some get lost in grass (don't notice those)
>next day barefoot
>nail poking out the top of my foot
Damnit, author! You did it again! You started something good, then stop it and start another good story! With such great amount of talent as you have it calls "torturing tour readers"! Why do you do such things!
For want of a nail...
Wait, no, for incredibly painful accidental discovery of a nail, a kingdom was lost.
5005077
There is a soft part of the hoof - the frog. If the nail went through that, well, it'd probably go in easy enough given steel's tensile strength and a horse's weight.
It'd be pretty messed up though since the frog is a major part of a horse's circulatory system. Their heart can't pump blood back up the legs (too long a trip), so when the horse walks around the frog serves as a kind of pump at the base of each hoof to get the blood back to the heart for oxygenation.
So... given all of that, did Sombra basically just have a heart attack?
5012811
Yes, Lord Guru!
You regret nothing, and that's how it should be! This fic is great
5015218
I can't help it. I think my muse has ADHD, and can't focus on any one thing for long
5016716
Your muse is like this?
At least it wasn't a lego. I've stepped on a nail before, excruciating. Stepping on a lego… it gave me super aids.
Well...
At least you didn't make a pinkie promise
5015439 And from what I've read, that suction doesn't work if the horse is shod, which leads to extremely poor circulation and hoof and leg problems.
You know how your legs feel all sorts of tingly pain when you sit on them and they fall asleep? That's apparently how a shod horse feels all the time. I've seen the infrared comparison photos.