//------------------------------// // Achille's Hoof // Story: King Sombra's Greatest Weakness // by Bucking Nonsense //------------------------------// "Did you truly think that would be sufficient to stop me?" Sombra chuckled wickedly at the looks of stunned disbelief on the faces of his crystal slaves... to say nothing of that pink princess, that knight, and those six interlopers (Seven, if you counted that meddling dragon). They truly thought that the Crystal Heart could stop him? If the relic had served as an anathema to him, then why would the tyrant not have destroyed it immediately? In fact, how could he have stolen it in the first place? True, the addition of an alicorn's power had been disquieting, but rather than simply staring at the events transpiring before him like a dunce, Sombra had used the seconds between the Crystal Heart's retrieval and the unleashing of its full power to infuse his armor with sufficient energy to allow him to withstand the blast. True, the blast wave had knocked all of his armor off, but it was well worth it: The despair that his subjects now felt, seeing their invincible master standing triumphant before them, was quickly ensuring that they would not have enough hope left within them for a second attempt, and the pink alicorn was far too drained to fight any further. Victory was his! Soon, so would vengeance. Yes... sweet, delicious, munchy-crunchy vengeance. Celestia would pay, as would Luna, for imprisoning him for a thousand years. First things, first, though: He would put an end to these meddlers, once and for all. King Sombra stepped forward, preparing a spell that would blast the entire lot of them into subatomic particles, and... -------------------------------------- Twilight Sparkle had flinched when she saw King Sombra's horn begin to glow. She could feel him pulling magic from the world around him, crafting it into a spell that, even from here, she could tell was several orders of magnitude beyond anything she could hope to stop. She was done for, and so were her friends... Then suddenly, the spell stopped, and she saw Sombra was just standing there. Why would he...? The tyrant's mouth slowly dropped open, and is right lower eyelid began to twitch. It seemed as if something was happening to him. Could the Crystal Heart's effect have been delayed? Had she and her friends succeeded after all? Maybe... Fluttershy, watching all of this with confusion, asked, "Um, are you okay, Mister...?" She was cut off when, suddenly, Sombra began screaming, dancing around on his back legs while clutching his left foreleg. While at the start, it was impossible to make sense of what he was shrieking, but after a moment, words began to form... "OW MY HOOF! OW OW OW OW OW!!! IT HURTS!!!" While it was hard to make out from this distance , Twilight could see a glint of metal from the hoof that Sombra was clutching. It seemed almost as if... he'd stepped on a nail. "AGONY! AGONY!!! IT HURTS WORSE THAN ANYTHING I'VE EVER FELT BEFORE IN MY LIFE!!! IT'S IN THE BONE!!! THE NAIL IS IN THE BONE!!! AGONY!!!" The tyrant fell on his back, and began wildly swinging his hoof about, still shrieking like a small colt. As the display continued, Fluttershy calmly began walking up to the stallion, an almost serene expression on her face. What... what was she doing? "WOE IS ME!!! ALL IS PAIN!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT!!! I REGRET EVERYTHING I'VE EVER DONE!!!" While Sombra continued shrieking his head off, Fluttershy gently took his injured hoof to her mouth, and with a well practiced motion, began gently teasing the nail out. "BY THE FAUST, I SWEAR, I'M SORRY! I"LL END MY EVIL WAYS! I'LL REFORM!!! I'LL USE MY POWERS FOR GOOD, INSTEAD OF EVIL!!! I'LL EMBRACE LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP!!! JUST PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!!" Fluttershy succeeded in removing the nail, and... Sombra did not seem to notice. Instead, he continued as if the nail was still there while Fluttershy began cleaning, and then bandaging, his hoof, as if this was all perfectly normal. "I'LL PERSONALLY APOLOGIZE TO EVERY PONY I'VE EVER HURT!!! EVER INSULTED!!! EVER EVEN LOOKED AT FUNNY!!! I'LL WRITE A FIVE HUNDRED PAGE APOLOGY LETTER THE PRINCESSES!!! NO, I'LL ENGRAVE IT INTO THE SIDE OF A MOUNTAIN!!! WITH MY FACE!!! JUST PLEASE, SOMEPONY, MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY!!!" "All done," Fluttershy exclaimed cheerfully, after putting the final touches upon the bandage. "I'LL... wait, what?" ------------------------------------ Sombra was startled to find that the pain had suddenly vanished. Looking at his now neatly bandaged hoof in shock, he realized that somepony had actually pulled the nail out of his hoof and tended to the wound. He looked up... into the eyes of an angel. A pegasus maiden was looking at him with a smile on her face, fit to melt even his black heart. Finding himself suddenly blushing without understanding why, Sombra looked away... and then almost fainted when, almost like putting icing on the cake, she gave his hoof a little kiss... Sombra's face began to burn brighter, suddenly ashamed with himself. In the pain of just moments before, he had forgotten himself. He stood, then took in his surroundings, seeing an entire city's worth of ponies who were desperately trying not to laugh... and failing. He'd just succeeded in making a total donkey of himself, not just in front of this pretty young lady, but in front of the entire Crystal Empire. He'd never be able to win back their fear and/or respect after that little display. And all because of a stupid nail... Almost rhetorically, Sombra asked, "Am I the only one who finds this to be a little bit awkward?" The little dragon, perfectly deadpan, said, "I'm pretty sure that everypony is finding this situation to be really, really awkward." Suddenly horrified, Sombra realized something: He'd not just embarrassed himself in front of the entire Crystal Empire, but had sworn, publicly, in the name of the Faust that he would mend his ways... To break an oath made to the Faust, the McCarthy, or the Larson would have dire consequences. The wrath of the Haz-Bo-Ro, the ones who ruled the cosmos, would befall anypony who broke such an oath. If he did not reform, or at least make a genuine attempt at doing so, then bad luck and misfortune would infest his pathetic soul for all eternity... Suddenly, Sombra's stomach rumbled, loudly. Right. After a thousand years, there was no reason why he wouldn't be hungry. And he really, really, really needed to go to the little colt's room. Looking over at the pink princess, Sombra said, "I'm going to find the nearest outhouse. When I get back, I expect to see a meal fit for a king. After I'm done eating, we can discuss the terms of my surrender." Fixing the alicorn with a glare fit to make her, and every pony within fifty paces of her, flinch, he asked, "Any objections?" Shaking her head, the princess said, "No. Just make sure you wash your hooves." Sombra took a step, then stopped, hissing in pain. Right, he'd forgotten: No boots. Turning back towards the princess, he said, "Before that, could you send somepony to get my spare boots? They should be by my bed." The princess confused, asked, "Why do you need them?" Blushing bright red, Sombra admitted, "I've got very sensitive hooves."