I have gone to find myself. If I get back before I return, please keep me here.
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In the midst of Twilight's efforts to save the Crystal Empire from Sombra's return, she comes across an ancient artifact hidden away by the dark king. When she accidentally activates it, she brings two strange beings from an entirely different world to Equestria.
A Steven Universe crossover
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Since i have no idea what this a crossover with..... i think i'm gonna need a bit of help trying to understand that part
But this chapter has piqued my interest
7848445 The crossover is with Steven Universe. I'm assuming.
7848571 heard of it, but never watched it
7848580 It's great, in all honesty. I binged watched all four seasons in two days. Yes, you understood that right: Two days. Now, I'm lookin' around for fanfics and such. Shit is crazy, man.
7848609 two days?
Impressive if you only slept 4-7 hours during that time. Otherwise, not as much but still cool
7848623 I mean, the episodes are only 11-ish minutes each, (Sadly) so it didn't take that long to finish the two seasons in a day.
7848630 ah. Ok
Still kinda cool
7848634 Don't be discouraged from watching it because of that. The series has a 100+ episodes as it is. Plus, it's a really good show.
Will Jasper appear in this story?
This is not going to end well, is it?
7848634
7848639
Whether you know what the show is or not, I hope that you two enjoy this story.
7848736 Probably not, though I do have a few surprises in store.
7848797 NOPE!
7848812
Somebody pick up the phone because I fucking called it!
Ok I was pretty. Sure I had seen this story before, I thought I was going crazy for a little bit, glad to see it's back, especially after all of peridots character progression that has happened in the show.
7848797 Mountains of dead ponies... mountains of em...
Well, seeing as ponies are quick to judge books by their covers, and lets be honest, most of the time, they would be right since all of their big baddies look like big baddies (Starlight excluded), I imagine they'll think Sugilite is the bad guy and Peridot the good.
7850344 Uh, maybe not quite that bad.
7850603 Seriously, they freak out over a herd of stampeding bunnies. One can only imagine their reaction to something like this.
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/d5/e0/2d/d5e02d1483c1d603332aa6fc14e1c62f.png
7850705 Well, maybe the ponies have good reason to fear bunnies...
imgcdn.geocaching.com/cache/4fdd6621-26d5-4991-9363-c8e8f559941d.jpg?rnd=0.5926434
7850958 And not a Holy Hand Grenade in sight either. . .
I knew it, I knew Sugilite was going to have some involvement in the story. Equestria is officially fucked.
You have mastered the use of cliffhangers, Dilos1
Curses.....
That's it. You caught my interest. The second I saw the cover, I actually gasped. (Well, more of went 'ohhhhhhh! But, y'know, same difference.)
7860196 Sugilite does seem to evoke those kinds of responses.
Oh god, Sombra's using the Villain With Whom We All Must Agree trope, complete with Twilight being rendered incapable of any sort of thought regarding the OBVIOUS. Just ask the A-hole how mind-raping his nation into such terror that not a single pony can even think about him without falling to the ground shuddering in terror leads to harmony. He was actually better when all he could do was grunt "GARBLE!!!! CRYSTAL SSSSSLAVES!!!" Then at least he wasn't spouting idiotic hyperbole. Seriously, I could waste my time countering this bombastic buffoon, but I'd rather just smear him into paste.
This is the time when Deadpool should show up and shoot the bad guy in the face.
7863414 Have you stopped to consider that perhaps there is something going on behind the scenes?
7863776 I have... but you need to SHOW IT so that it doesn't look like a bad TV Trope in play. A balance between subtlety and ample detail are critical in these sorts of scenes.
7865879 Fair enough. Rest assured that I do plan to address it in future chapters, so I hope that you will bear with me at least until then.
I liked the Alien reference.
Believe it or not, your descriptions of the characters (Peridot in particular) is what made me check out Steven Universe. No regrets from me. The fic is really good, you do a real good job with keeping everyone in character.
7882776 Thank you very much. So which character is your favorite so far? Mine is Pearl.
7883088 I'm having a hard time deciding actually, there are a lot of great characters to choose from. Pearl is not a bad choice, but if I have to choose it would be Peridot. I have a bit of a soft spot for character redemption.
...and I really love her "Nyeh heh heh" laugh.
One of the only genuingly good SU real crossovers on this site, and nobody notices it. Confound these bronies, they drive me to drink.
Maybe if you put "Steven Universe" somewhere in the description, it'll help since, as it is now, this story doesn't pop up when you search for Steven Universe. If somebody is searching for SU crossovers, that's gonna be the first thing they try.
Well, as I'm still liking this, I'll probably put a link to it in one of my author notes or something. Tired of good crossovers being ignored for crappy, imported ones. Read locally! Not Displaced!
7885224 Thanks for the praise and the suggestion. I'll be sure to do that.
Also, while I agree that genuinely good displaced stories are few and far between, it seems kind of unfair to lump them in with the rest of the stuff that, in all honesty, is mostly drivel. I dislike being harsh in describing the majority of the genre that way, but unfortunately it is the truth. Still, if you really look you can find a few gems. I guess I'm just an optimist.
Edit: Description has been updated.
7885245 It worked, now when I put Steven Universe in the search bar, this story is the third result down on relevance. Hopefully this will start to get more attention soon.
7885262 Here's to hoping. Aside from that what do you think of the story so far?
more
7886280 SOON.
Wild balance,Indeed,Indeed
9/8 can't wait for more
"Ruddy muddy clumps beneath my gravity connectors!"
7909391
Yeah, I'm definitely going to be using Peridot's special brand of insults later down the line.
I want to like this story, I really do. There are moments of, honest to god, really good character writing here and there, but there's also a lot of rushed mistakes, poor grammar, and just general lack of editing all over the shop.
Take this passage as an example. It's probably the most egregious part of this chapter because I feel it demonstrates the biggest problems in your writing.
Paragraphs 1 & 3 are basically repeating the same thing over, and repetition in writing is best used for imagery or drawing something important to the attention of the reader, in this case the repetition is working destructively, so you could easily be rid of paragraph 3, and just fold it into paragraph 1, then fold paragraph 4 into the end of paragraph 2. Even then Paragraph 4 should read...
... Paragraph 2 is just off in several parts. "...Cadance observed as she watched..." (consider switching "observed" out for "commented", "mused", or "replied", we've got repetition via homonym, and it looks ugly), "...the ponies. However this did..." (Maybe replace "However" with "Unfortunately for her this did not keep several of the braver ponies from", "... on her boots as he walked..." (never watched the show, but I'm fairly certain Peridot is female).
As I said I'd like to like this story, but it just needs some editing polish and TLC before I can consider it anything but a good attempt, undercut by being a rushed first draft.
7921579 Thank you for telling me. I did try to go over it a few times during the reboot, but even then I guess I'm still a little blind to those kinds of things. Anyway I'll be sure to go back and correct those when I get a moment, and will keep my eye out for similar errors.
You keep calling it liquid hydrogen, but Earth does not have liquid hydrogen, nor can it have liquid hydrogen. It is H2O, dihydrogen monoxide, 2 hydrogen atoms and 1 oxygen atom. I don't think Peridot would get the two confused (unless she did in the show and I never noticed).
7921959 Thanks for correcting me on that.
I am here because Kind of Brony mentioned your story
*Gives information*
"Is there anything else that she told you?"
*Gives the exact same information*
Shining, buddy, that's not what "anything else" means.
This looks interesting.
It takes time for a fusion to become unstable, can't thry just split just aftef the Galaxy Warp Pad is destroyed?
So Gems eat magic? Celestia and Luna won't like that.
Well, this is going to be fun.