• Member Since 30th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen Nov 8th, 2020

Bucking Nonsense

A Little Nonsense Now And Then Is Relished By The Wisest Men.


A collection of short stories about Mole Cricket, and other changelings, attempting to fit in with pony society.
For more of the Mole Cricket-Verse, you can read Your Fangs Are Showing, and The Royal Interview: A Mole Cricket Story.

Concluded early in favor of a reboot.

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 345 )

Now, if any of you folks feel that this first story might be a little bit different from the stories I've posted before, you're right, it is. However, I think that, before I start on the sequel proper, I kinda need to have stories like this: while the Mane Six may not have starring roles in the series, they do take part, and I'd rather not just wave a hand and say they all magically became friends (except maybe Pinkie Pie, but then, she's almost always instantly friends with everyone, everywhere). Applejack was first, because, well, let's face it, she's kinda the easiest to write for: she's a pretty straightforward character, being the element of honesty, and all. The others will take a bit more work for me to do. I don't plan on keeping the breakneck schedule I had over the last couple of weeks, but I reckon one or two stories per week until I'm ready to start on the sequel will keep you all satisfied. I hope...


There is no way to keep readers satisfied -- no matter how fast or slow you write they will want things just that little bit faster.

this was posted an hour ago, wheres the next chapter?!!

So in your stories do non-queen changelings only have magic of the "pew pew pew" shooty-beam variety? I ask because it seems like that would've been an even faster way to harvest the trees without bucking. Although maybe that's why Cricket's so fast? He is using magic and I just didn't pick up on it?

Covered in the other two stories, only the queen, and aristocrats (or aristos for short) can do any sort of "proper" magic. Commoners can only use "Love-Burning", using increased amounts of love to increase physical abilities temporarily. Mind you, that wasn't what Cricket was doing: a lifetime of physical activity has left him in pretty good shape all around, and he flies like a bug, not a bird, so he has an easier time hovering in midair than a pegasus world. Experience, precision, and control help make up for the fact that he's normally not as speedy as Rainbow Dash is. Dashie might have been able to do it in ten seconds flat, but she probably would have crashed into something in the process. Speed, but no control.

Funny story, I briefly considered calling the Aristos "Nobbs" instead, since that's classic British slang. But then I realized just how many crude jokes could be made off of that...

Merciful heavens... one hour, and this is already on the popular stories list. One day, I'm going to just write "Bucking Nonsense Tries To Write An Awful Story", just to see what happens. It will probably end up being the most popular story on the site... forever :rainbowlaugh: .

3784596 That made me think of Discworld before I thought of the other meaning.

3784603 I would read that, but sadly I think such stories are banned after "Twilight Sparkle Earns the Feature Box" got stuck in the feature box for a week.

Thanks for clearing that up. :twilightsmile: I haven't had a chance to read the one where he meets with the princesses yet.

well, here we all are again. time to show what your cards can and can not do

While this will most likely have to wait for the sequel you have planned, I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to the Queen's Arrow showing up to extract their Commander, only to find out he's a (probationary) citizen with all four Princesses in their corner.

See AJ, this is why you need a pegasus or unicorn in the family for those up high tasks.

Oh no Applejack your tree's infested grab the bug spray oh wait no it's just Cricket.:trollestia:

Well, it will keep me satisfied. Though, I'm easily satisfied. I like this one thus far.

Miss Bunny Wunny Cuddlewumpus is best bunny :3

3786701 She seems a lot nice then Angel too.

Okay, this makes it official, I am going to be making fanart of your works, even if you don't agree to use any of it as cover art.:twilightsmile:

He was doing the job, one apple at a time, faster than Applejack normally could by bucking.

The Soldier-Commander-Prodigy-MessiahFigure-Babysitter is also faster at harvesting than AJ? I get that he would be quicker than her climbing up and down a tree and picking them individually, what with the precision and hover-capability, but faster than she is with healthy trees?

Well, once she bucks the apples, she'd have to gather them up and put them in baskets. Meanwhile, the commander is able to pluck the apples, and drop them off, a load at a time, into the baskets. With cartoon physics, he could just toss them in from the air, but that could damage the apples irl. It'd take AJ about 15 minutes to do this orchard, total. It took the commander about 10-12 minutes.

Cmdr. Mole Cricket:
Ex - Military Commander, covert operations and infiltration
Planning to start a coup against the monarchy
Dream punched a demon in the face
Escape artist

Is there anything this bug hasn't done?

Kissed a girl.
Learned how to cook, dance, or sing.
Played a board game.
Earned a high school diploma (or the Equestrian equivalent).
Any calculations beyond basic addition, subtraction, multiplication and division.
Win on an episode of Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader.

Look up the trope Sacrificed Basic Skill For Awesome Training. In particular, look at the page quote. Cricket's managed to do some awesome stuff, but all of it (or nearly all of it) has at least something to do with his military training, or just his past experiences. But in the next few stories, you're going to start seeing just how much he doesn't know about just about anything beyond that.

Like number 123... I feel accomplished...
Love it.

3784212 48h without an update,:moustache: this story is clearly dead... LYNCH THE AUTHOR!!:flutterrage:

Well, it's a good thing I just posted a chapter, then :pinkiehappy: .

Chapter 3: Cricket gets a hat. I'm thinking something with a feather. Or maybe a pith helmet. Those are sturdy enough, I guess.

right as I fave and take off my read later list it updates, love it when that happens

Um -- Mole Cricket does NOT have a cutie mark ... NO CUTIE MARK.. and Sweetie Belle missed it... Cricket could be a prime CMC target. I mean he could earn a cutie mark someday -- and would if he ever gained his true crystal pegasus form.

3795149 Just wait for it... I'm sure she wants to see the other crusaders about it so they can ambush him later :scootangel:

3795070 Aaw... But who are we going to lynch now?

3795149 do changelings have cutie marks
i think she knew about that

or your comment is forshadowing

Actually, I may do a story about another changeling for the next one as an interlude before I continue the Mole story-string. If I do, I'll do my best to make it a cute one :pinkiehappy: .

"Eeeeek! A screaming pony!"

:rainbowlaugh: Well played Cricket...well played...:eeyup:

Don't worry, there will be a hat later on :rainbowlaugh: .

My inner mercenary is satisfied.

I have been wanting to do that for WEEKS :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: !!!

What Mole “Seven Tricks” Cricket needs, if he’s going to wear a hat at all, is a really bitchin’ pork pie.

3795805 Bowlers are pretty snazzy, too.

I'd say a fedora, but hipsters ruined that hat.
So my vote is on, quite possibly, a beanie.

3796044 With that kind of attitude the Hipsters are winning!! Don't let them ruin our things! Just completely ignore their existence, they'll hate that!:rainbowdetermined2::moustache:

A real nice funny chapter you gave us here. I enjoy the comedy.


against better judgement and for the sake of a laugh - I ignored them before it was cool :trollestia:

Well, the first thing my comment for the chapter contains is that the little sister of Rarity is written Sweetie Belle.

Other than that, I'm interested how Rainbow Dash will react to Cricket after the military chew-out he did when meeting her. It could go many ways and some of those look really interesting to me.

Going with the trend of meeting strong stallions - how will Roid Rage react? The body building pony mostly seems to show off more than anything else and while he is inherently 'better' than Blattaria in his ways, I can smell some conflict there. If these two ever meet in any meaningful way in any story it's probably here than anywhere else.

The last thing I want to adress is that I found your stories about Cricket (and his team) quite the enjoyable read. I agree with the one commenter you even made a blog about (huh, sounds like something to achieve for me :trixieshiftright:) that

every word you used contributed to the experience, if not the story.

Have some free time beating those games and recharging your batteries :twilightsmile:

Well, I'd just like to say, I think that Ponyville as the coincidental meeting place of the entirety of the Queen's Arrow would be both hilarious and full of hijinks - especially if they all think that their commander's trying to pull something, and keep trying to get into clandestine meetings with him. All of them assuming he's been wired, of course, so they're being subtle. To a fault.

Cue Goliath stumbling out of the Everfree, an injured manticore in his mouth like a cat with a half-dead spider, and he brings it to Fluttershy for no reason his can explain.

Without a disguise on.

It would be delicious.

I should stop giving suggestions within the first thirty minutes of waking up :twilightblush:

3796044 He already has a hat. The rabbit of course!:pinkiecrazy: Just plop it on his head and you have adorableness.:pinkiehappy:

This one's short, but sweet. I hope you'll all enjoy it. Don't worry, I think you'll get to see more of this particular changeling in the near future.

Nice :) I swear I get to read these almost immediately after post

Daaaw that was cute.

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