• Member Since 30th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen Nov 8th, 2020

Bucking Nonsense

A Little Nonsense Now And Then Is Relished By The Wisest Men.


Mole Cricket, a changeling, faces the greatest challenge of his life so far: Convincing all four princesses that he deserves a chance at earning citizenship in Equestria. Can he convince Twilight Sparkle, Celestia, Luna, and Cadance that he can be a contributing member to society?

An Interquel to the story "Your Fangs Are Showing", this takes place between chapters 3 and 4.

Chapters (10)
Comments ( 327 )

If this is as funny as your last one it could be good. I'll keep an eye on it.

Is the name taken from Mother 3?

I hope you decide to do a proper sequel after this.

The Mole Cricket is a species of cricket found in many places throughout the world. They don't look too much like a cricket, but rather like the Frankenstein's monster of the insect world.

Probably one of the best changeling stories I've read in a long time.


Most anticipated story of the new year... Keep up the Shenanigans.

you have my like and my fav, now gimme moar this is too good

Don't worry, I have many shenanigans planned :yay: .

This officially gives him what must be the title of the changeling to receive the most distinctions in all of changeling history.

Which is a distinction in and of itself :rainbowlaugh: .

Now, I'm a fan of cute stories and changeling redemption stories and basically everything going on here, but don't forget to give our little buggy some sort of dilemma to deal with, aside from how to spend his riches. :trollestia:

Just remember, he has to get approval from all four princesses. Two may be down (Celestia And Twilight Sparkle), but Luna will be a hard sell, and Cadance... well, Cadance is gonna be a really, really hard sell. After all, if there's any pony in all of Equestria who'd have a reason to bear a grudge against changelings...
Oh, I probably should have said *SPOILERS* :rainbowlaugh:

And on top of that, assuming Cadenza doesn't just outright forgive him because she's like that, any attempts on his life are going to be met with a cadre of small children looking pitifully up at the attackers and asking, mournfully, 'Why would you do such a terrible thing?' and cause the poor villain's heart and pancreas to explode from diabeetus overload.

On another topic, I sincerely hope to see more of this particular story line out of you soon.
It's an excellent bit of work, but remember that trading things like riches into a relatively simple economy like Ponyville's is going to be hard; He'll have to work hard to ruin the economy with his spendings.


First off, I promise you, we won't see the adorable children... in THIS story, anyways. Second, the, ah, unique nature of the interview is going to reveal a few things about Cricket's past that may make a final ruling... difficult, even for the ones who LIKE him. This is the guy that was responsible for commanding the invasion force, after all...

I'm just saying Cricket has the most effective armor ever: Adorable Children Looking Sad.

But I think Cricket's going to be fine in a general sense, if only because we've seen the 'after'. What concerns me are the Nobility's potential reactions to him, since I'm guessing that all four princesses and probably some of the higher Nobles will be involved int he overall process, along with being able to make life difficult for him indirectly once he's settled. After all, the nobles are all well-connected and rich, and they still take potshots at one another whenever possible.

In regards to the first part, yes, if you've read Your Fangs Are Showing, his success is a foregone conclusion. However, his route to that success is not going to be smooth one, adorable children or no.

Second, yes, he'll have to deal with a lot of flak from those in high places who won't be so keen on the idea of a love eating bug monster becoming a citizen. But that's for the sequel, not this story.

Also In regard to the nobility he is a duke, baron, count, earl, and a thane, as well as the mayor of "Awesome Town" I'm pretty sure he out ranks them all. :derpytongue2:

Maybe he outranks all of them.
And remember that rank doesn't mean you're safe, as anyone with a particularly fancy hat on a battlefield can tell you.
Fancy hat = higher rank = more likely to get shot or stabbed repeatedly

Indeed. The destination is known, the road is not. I look forward to seeing the journey itself.

3719491 The only pony who'd really be an asshole though is probably blueblood and who gives a shit about him?

This...is the best story I have ever read. Well done.

Wherefore you find all this adorable? holy crap, this is great stuff. I hope you flesh the rest of your stories out this way.

I do not "find" this adorable...

I extract it each day from a freshly hugged puppy, using a magical device designed solely for that purpose. I then use another device, even more magical than the last, to convert it into ink, that I use to write these words of "daw" and "hnnnggg" each day, using a quill made from the feather of an incredibly adorable winged kitten, on paper made from a tree that has no name, and yet whose beauty and splendor would make poets weep at their inability to describe it. Then I use a third device, far more magical than any other, and use it to convert the finished product into something that can actually be read by mere mortal like yourselves.

So, if there is ever a break between chapters, and I go a day or two without posting, you'll know it's because my puppy needed a break.

I may or may not be joking :trollestia: .

Both this story and Your Fangs Are Showing are well written, very funny and a pleasure to read.
You should submit this to EQD.

:pinkiehappy::rainbowkiss::raritystarry::twilightsmile: Hope the next chapter's will come out soon.

Not quite as cute as the original, but provides some admittedly much needed serious plot development, but you don't leave the humor behind completely...

Skills, you have!

I enjoy this story! Quick! Someone get that "this chapter... I like it!" thing!

Please remember folks, if you favorite this story, please feel free to upvote it as well. I've been seeing a bunch of faves for both my stories, but the site doesn't track how many favorites a story gets. Or at least, I don't think it does. I'll have to look into that... Anyways, please upvote if you haven't already. It will make me happy and maybe make me want to update more chapters even faster :raritywink: .


This is going remarkably smoothly for someone who just invoked the Nuremberg defense. Cadence and Shining Armor just put their emotional baggage behind them instantly.

My thoughts as well

Blah, you know what, I'm gonna reword some stuff. Brb.

Back, done. Nuremburg shouldn't be very relevant now. Thanks for pointing that out. I'd rather not debate ethics, morality, and law over the internet.

As for Shining Armor and Cadance putting their baggage behind them, Cadance has a pretty good reason why her emotional baggage is pretty mobile right now. As for Shining Armor, well, we'll go into that towards the start of the next chapter.

love this story so much.

It's comments like that which keep me posting chapters daily, when I could be on my playgamesbox :rainbowlaugh: .

Nice update. Nice surprise with the I was the one ordered to abducted you.

Gotta have a little drama, I guess. There will be a few more shocking twists, some of which are going to be much bigger, before we hit the grand finale. As for why it had to be the commander, well, the Queen isn't the type to get her hooves dirty, and the commander isn't the type to foist a job on somebuggy else just because he doesn't want to do it. "I wouldn't order you to do something I wouldn't do myself". If there's one reason why the commander is The Commander, in spite of being a teenager, in spite of being a commoner, in spite of the fact that the previous commander hated his guts and would have loved to see him fail, it's this: He actually cares about those around him. And perhaps more surprisingly, his subordinates reciprocate.

I need a title image for this story, and for Your Fangs Are Showing. I mean, I have something that I made fooling around with MSPaint, but I'd prefer some actual, you know, art if possible.

I had no idea this chapter was so long before I posted it. I don't plan on doing another this long, if I can help it, and if no one minds, I probably won't post a chapter tomorrow. I spent a good chunk of my Saturday on this, so I hope you appreciate it. Enjoy, all you peoples out there :pinkiehappy: .

You know, it's going to sound funny, but if Cricket ever becomes a fully blown pony (hey, you never know, it could happen), and gets a mark of his own, I may not make it a cricket. After seeing the Grumpy Cat cutie mark today, I can't help but think maybe a Courage Wolf cutie mark wouldn't be out of place on his flank.

Geeze, 10k+ words. I just realized, I haven't written anything this long outside of a college research paper.

Time well spent :pinkiehappy: .


The guard pointed at the pool of wax now on the tabletop, and said, "You never, ever, ever want to use up all the love in your body if you can help it. If you do, you'll go into what is called Dry Hibernation. Your body will stiffen, and you'll be unable to move. You will be completely indestructible in this state, and while yes, you can live practically forever like this, it is not an experience I'd recommend, because you'll be rendered completely paralyzed, but still fully aware of all that's going on around you. If you're lucky, your fellow changelings will find you and give you enough love to restore your mobility. If you're unlucky, an enemy will find you, and use you as the world's ugliest coatrack, or perhaps as a foot stool, at your age."

That's quite a useful ability. I can imagine changelings chucking fanatical, starved berserkers through the walls of a fortress and then reactivating them when the next wave rushes through the breach, or concealing a hibernating spy near an important meeting place, or deliberately expending all their love when about to be killed or captured. There are nasty risks, but those may not factor into the decision-making process. Why are changelings indestructible in a hibernation state?

It's an ability based on "Waterbears" which are in no way bears, but some very unusual creatures, in that they are almost impossible to kill, due to Dry Hibernation (yes, violence still works, but nothing else). They can survive in freakin' space, the most adverse environment (or lack thereof) outside of being chucked into a volcano. They can survive tremendous heat, cold, radiation, poisons, dehydration, freezing, pressure, they are, in many ways, more difficult to kill than the original Terminator. But the thing is, in Dry Hibernation, they are completely immobile. Now, while it can be argued that this could be useful (the chucking through walls thing wouldn't work: there's no actual change in mass), the primary problem is this: Imagine you suddenly lose the ability to move in any way, shape or form. You are completely incapable of movement. Okay, maybe you can barely move your eyes, very, very slowly, but you can't blink. And you can't cover your ears, no matter how much you want to. All you can do is watch and listen, as your mind slowly feeds upon itself. The reason why all changelings avoid this state is simple: IT WILL DRIVE YOU INSANE!!!
As for why they are indestructible, I could quote all kinds of science stuff that a lot of folks would pick apart, but we're talking about a magical creature, so yes, I can get away with just saying "Magic" and leaving it at that.
The primary reason why I use Dry Hibernation as a thing for changelings is I wanted there to be a punishment that is worse than death, for those who displease the queen. You can only kill someone once, but a punishment like this? It can last FOREVER!!! Better to die quick and clean than to spend potentially all of time like that.

3736865 Imagine if they used dry hibernating changelings as bludgeons

Haven't done one of these in a while...

I had no idea this chapter was so long before I posted it. I don't plan on doing another this long, if I can help it

What? No! This was a great length for a chapter! If anything, the last chapter felt too short.

Hatchling number 8675309

Really? :rainbowhuh: Okay.

listening to the adult changeling as he tried to explain "How Not To Be Seen".

Okay, I'll admit, I chuckled at this one.

Blattaria was the only fat changeling in the hive: aristos can eat the same kind of food other creatures can, unlike commoners. However, this just adds calories, and eventually fat if not exercised off, but not nutrition.

Tense shift alert!

prior to it's relocation

No apostrophe here.

Excellent story, well written, and flows nicely. I especially like the name Blattaria, given the characteristics of the former commander. It's also nice to see another story with decent changelings.
Looking forward to more of this story.

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