The Royal Audience: A Mole Cricket Story

by Bucking Nonsense

Something Revealed

"Starting the interview without me?"

The door to the chamber was standing open, and Princess Cadance was walking in, followed closely behind by her husband, Shining Armor. The fourth princess looked cheerful, but Shining Armor looked angry. Furious, in fact. When he laid eyes on Twilight Sparkle, he seemed to relax slightly (he'd probably been worried that the big bad changeling might have somehow hurt his super-powered sister), but when his gaze fell upon Cricket, well...

It was about what the changeling had expected. The stallion was so furious Cricket half expected the knight to suddenly gain heat vision and blast Cricket to ashes. Given what had nearly happened to him, his wife, and the entire city of Canterlot, he could hardly be blamed for that.

Twilight Sparkle rushed over to Cadance, and the two of them began dancing while reciting a poem. "Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake. Clap your hooves and do a little shake." Cricket thought silently to himself that, while yes, that was an incredibly adorable little performance, it was also an excellent way of making certain that neither of them were changelings...

After the little show, Twilight explained that all she'd done was test the spell to be certain it would be effective on a changeling. She'd been concerned that it might not work: nopony had ever tried it on a somebuggy like him before. Cadance chuckled a little at the word "somebuggy", then look at Cricket for the first time... and stopped dead in her tracks, her shocked expression telling the changeling all he needed to know.

The princess walked up to Cricket, studying his face intently. Cricket looked Cadance in the eyes, and careful to keep his expression as neutral as possible, said, "Yes, your highness, it's me. And before you..." and that was as far as he got before Cadance slapped him in the face. It was a good slap, although Cricket had been slapped harder in the past, by individuals much angrier. The punch that Shining Armor delivered, however, was much more impressive. Cricket was lifted right off his feet, and then fell to the ground with a thud. While a changeling's exoskeleton was hard enough to withstand that kind of abuse, it didn't stop him from being rattled by the blow. The slap, he had expected, but the punch, that had taken him off guard...

As Cricket slowly picked himself up off of the floor, Luna and Celestia both began demanding explanations. The one they got left all three of the other princesses stunned.

Cadance, her face filled with anger, pointed at Cricket, and shouted, "He's the one who abducted me."

Sadly, yes, that was the case. The queen had given the order, and as distasteful as he had found the act, one of the principles he let himself be guided by was this: Never, ever, ever pass an order down to somebuggy else, just to get out of doing something you didn't want to do. That had caused the commander no end of problems in the past, but it had also earned him a great deal of respect from his subordinates, even if that had not been the intention...

Before Cricket could say anything, Shining Armor grabbed the changeling, then lifted him up and pulled him close, his expression of fury less than an inch from Cricket's face. The knight asked, his voice ice to his face's fire, "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't pound you into the ground like a tent peg." The stallion's other hoof reared back for another haymaker.

Cricket gasped out one word, "Orders!" The stallion's expression changed from one of barely restrained rage to one of confusion, his hoof lowering to the ground. After a moment, the knight seemed to realize what it was the changeling meant. His eyes narrowed, then asked, "You were following orders? Whose orders?"

Cricket asked, his own eyes narrowing in response, "Who do you think?" The knight gave Cricket a glare, then, after a moment, sighed, his expression changing to something much more like his normal self. He let the changeling go, then said, "We have a lot to talk about. Obviously. But I can't fault a soldier for following orders from his queen, especially since nopony was hurt in the process."

Cricket rubbed at his jaw, which was still stinging from the blow. After a moment, he grinned and said, "Thanks. Good form, by the way. Impressive follow-through. Very well executed. Do you give lessons?" At Shining Armor's confused look, the changeling laughed and said, "The punch, sir, the punch. Very well done. I haven't been hit that hard since the Sphinxopolis campaign, and that was from somebeastie twice my size, swinging a club!" After a moment, Shining Armor began to laugh, and Cricket couldn't help but join in. While not necessarily friends now, it seemed that there wasn't going to be a grudge held by either party now.

Cricket turned back towards the four princesses, who were now gathered together. The smiles of just a little while ago were gone. They weren't frowning, exactly, but their expressions were much more serious than before. It appeared that this little revelation had just knocked him down a peg in all of their estimations. He considered offering an explanation, some sort of justification, not just for his actions during the invasion, but also for his not having mentioned it. There had hardly been any time, of course... but just now, anything he said would just sound like hollow excuses.

He knelt before the four princesses, and said, as humbly as he could, "Your majesties, there is nothing I can say in my defense. If you wish to dismiss me, or banish me from your kingdom..." That was as far as he got before Twilight Sparkle cut him off.

"You don't need to apologize." Cricket's head raised up slowly as he looked up to see the youngest princess smiling. As the other three princesses looked at Twilight in surprise, she said to them, very plainly, "Not every kingdom is ruled by somepony, or somebirdy, buggy, bully, or beastie, who is just, wise, or kind. By his own admission, he was following orders from his queen. Had he refused, what do you think would have happened to him? More importantly, under what laws would he be held accountable? There are literally no laws in Equestria regarding how a changeling should act in our society, and historically, changelings have been treated like oversized pests, instead of sentient creatures. Under current law, PARASPRITES have more legal rights than a changeling does. That is something that, I think, is going to start changing very soon." She turned back to Cricket, and said, "I admit, I wish you had told me earlier, but I suppose there really hasn't been much time for that. Today has been quite busy. So, get back on your hooves. We were about to have an interview, if I remember right."

Luna and Celestia turned their gazes from Twilight Sparkle to Cadance, who, after a moment, took a deep breath, then let it out. "I suppose she has a point, and he has done a great deal more good than harm since then." the princess said, then gave Cricket a look. While not as friendly as Cricket would have preferred, the anger that had been there just a short time before was extinguished. "You will be paying for the damages you did to the Crystal Empire during your escapades earlier today, but I do believe you're good for it, so I'll let that drop. But let me warn you right now: if you were any other changeling in the world, barring your queen, of course, you would have been guaranteed a free ride from me, based just on your good behavior since the invasion failed. Since it IS you, however, you will have to impress me a bit before I give you my vote." Then, a real smile formed on her face as she added, "But not too much, I think: as one babysitter to another, you did an excellent job back there."

Cricket blushed bright blue as the four princesses began laughing.

Comments

[Dragonslayer Ornstein]

I enjoy this story! Quick! Someone get that "this chapter... I like it!" thing!

[Bucking Nonsense]

Please remember folks, if you favorite this story, please feel free to upvote it as well. I've been seeing a bunch of faves for both my stories, but the site doesn't track how many favorites a story gets. Or at least, I don't think it does. I'll have to look into that... Anyways, please upvote if you haven't already. It will make me happy and maybe make me want to update more chapters even faster .

[PPS]

This is going remarkably smoothly for someone who just invoked the Nuremberg defense. Cadence and Shining Armor just put their emotional baggage behind them instantly.

[devas]

3731128
My thoughts as well

[Bucking Nonsense]

3731128
3731220
Blah, you know what, I'm gonna reword some stuff. Brb.

Back, done. Nuremburg shouldn't be very relevant now. Thanks for pointing that out. I'd rather not debate ethics, morality, and law over the internet.

As for Shining Armor and Cadance putting their baggage behind them, Cadance has a pretty good reason why her emotional baggage is pretty mobile right now. As for Shining Armor, well, we'll go into that towards the start of the next chapter.

[RedTech]

love this story so much.

[Bucking Nonsense]

3733272
It's comments like that which keep me posting chapters daily, when I could be on my playgamesbox .

[Tomi]

Nice update. Nice surprise with the I was the one ordered to abducted you.

[Bucking Nonsense]

3733625
Gotta have a little drama, I guess. There will be a few more shocking twists, some of which are going to be much bigger, before we hit the grand finale. As for why it had to be the commander, well, the Queen isn't the type to get her hooves dirty, and the commander isn't the type to foist a job on somebuggy else just because he doesn't want to do it. "I wouldn't order you to do something I wouldn't do myself". If there's one reason why the commander is The Commander, in spite of being a teenager, in spite of being a commoner, in spite of the fact that the previous commander hated his guts and would have loved to see him fail, it's this: He actually cares about those around him. And perhaps more surprisingly, his subordinates reciprocate.

[Frantic Starz]

i wub it

[Bucking Nonsense]

I need a title image for this story, and for Your Fangs Are Showing. I mean, I have something that I made fooling around with MSPaint, but I'd prefer some actual, you know, art if possible.

[j-grizz]

3730843

I've been seeing a bunch of faves for both my stories, but the site doesn't track how many favorites a story gets.

On the main story page, to the right of the story character tags and just under the words total, is a box with a picture of a bar graph. That is the stats tab. Click it and you will see favs, views, thumbs, and referrals (if any).

[Mossy Mare]

He doesn't need to put up with this. Why would he consent to being tried by a princess he kidnapped, not to mention the involuntary mind rape by princess Sparkle, (involuntary because he has no control over what's playing or when it stops) when he has his pick of nations to choose from? He can go to literally any nation on the planet he wishes and stay there, loved, for the rest of his natural days, because he is friends with all of the royal children. He even has sensitive, top secret information that would harm his fellow beings if word got out about it, and yet he consents to this?

[Assasin_Asha]

Cricket gasped out one word, "Orders!" The stallion's expression changed from one of barely restrained rage to one of confusion, his hoof lowering to the ground. After a moment, the knight seemed to realize what it was the changeling meant. His eyes narrowed, then asked, "You were following orders? Whose orders?"

This is an example of something that is generally frowned upon in writing. Two speakers in one paragraph.
As a general rule, when you have two or more characters speaking, you assign a separate paragraph to each one, even if it's just one word. Otherwise it gets clunky, and hard to read.
A similar thing applies when you have one character giving a long speech. You divide the speech in several paragraphs. The key thing, though, is that if the speech is still going on at the end of a paragraph, you don't write the closing quotation mark, like so:

"Yadda yadda, my great speech of awesomness, yadda yadda.

"Blah blah, continuation of my great speech of awesomeness in the next paragraph, blah, end."

I hope I am not too direct in sharing this bit of info. I've seen many otherwise great authors not knowing these two points.

Also, I agree with Mossy Mare here. If we decide to stop looking at it as a comedy and actually start analysing the situation...
Good thing I treat it like a comedy and am willing to forego it.
It shows quite nicely that even a light, funny story can have dark undertones that will be missed by any who read it but those who are leery of this kind of thing. The first group may even include the author themselves! It's fascinating!

And I wonder, how many more comments am I going to make...

[brony323]

3907539 eh. True. One thing I've noticed while reading on this site is how different some rules of writing can vary depending on situation and style

[Draco Dei]

3731540
And yet, I was still put in mind of that defense, and that feeling was only reduced, not eliminated when the "he would have been killed otherwise" and "changeling's had no legal status in Equestria" parts were brought up. I'm mentioning this to give insight into the mind of a reader, and, like you, have no desire to debate the matter, except by arguing that the whole point is actually irrelevant to his final fate. (Note: If you don't know what "Watsonian vs Doylist" is, don't worry about it).

Doylist:
I actually think it fits the show in that forgiveness is a big thing and he certainly has demonstrated that he isn't an ONGOING threat. I mean, compared to Discord (torture of thousands if not hundreds of thousands) and Nightmare Moon (Attempted extinction of everything that needs plants to survive) he is... well, actually, both of those were punished by what may be the highest moral authority in the setting, and definitely by the highest legal authorities but his crimes are much smaller.

Watsonian:
His defense may or may not be invalid. The fact that he had amended his ways and refused to be further loyal to Chrysalis BEFORE he was caught means a lot, both ethically, and as a purely pragmatic move to encourage other changelings to do the same (when and if his story can be released... or even just letting him talk to other prisoners).

3898025
They also happen to be the country with the unlimited food supply (he will get hungry in several more years perhaps), and with FIVE super-powerful individuals (Ok, 4 +/- 1 depending on how you count Discord), and the most powerful magical defense known to the world, who can protect him if Chrysalis tries to get him, AND who he has done the most to demonstrate good faith to (seriously, reading stories out loud isn't actually that big of an effort if all you can do is read anyway), and with an amazing track-record for mercy... not to mention Fluttershy who he has a crush on lives there.

[Nyerguds]

Cadance, her face filled with anger, pointed at Cricket, and shouted, "He's the one who abducted me."

Oh. Of course. The Queen's star strike team. Who else would've done that kind of mission?

His eyes narrowed, then asked, "You were following orders? Whose orders?"
Cricket asked, his own eyes narrowing in response, "Who do you think?"

Yeah. that was kind of a dumb question, Shining

"You will be paying for the damages you did to the Crystal Empire during your escapades earlier today

Hey, he paid for the wall!

"But not too much, I think: as one babysitter to another, you did an excellent job back there."

Ahh. Common ground

Remarks and corrections:
> "I suppose she has a point, and he has done a great deal more good than harm since then." the princess said
if a "s/he said" type thing follows a quote, the end-period inside the quote should be replaced by a comma:
"(...) since then," the princess said