//------------------------------// // Something Educational // Story: The Royal Audience: A Mole Cricket Story // by Bucking Nonsense //------------------------------// "So, yeah, I guess I overreacted a bit." Cricket and Shining Armor were essentially shooting the proverbial breeze right now, waiting while Twilight Sparkle obtained another gemstone for the memory projection spell. Shining Armor's punch, and Mole hitting the floor immediately afterwards, had placed a hairline crack in the once flawless gem, disrupting the spell cast upon it. It wouldn't take too long: there were plenty in the royal treasury. Cadance and the other two princesses were chatting, the subject being, naturally, the exact nature of her abduction, and the treatment that Cricket had given the princess during her captivity. While too distant for Cricket to make out clearly, he expected that she was giving the plain and simple truth: the changeling had not been rough, cruel, or disrespectful, and had in fact been a perfect gentlebug the entire time. Well, as much as a kidnapper could be, he supposed. Cricket was unlike the queen in many ways, one of the most important being that he had never seen the point in hurting others just for the sake of hurting others. Cricket had requested that Shining Armor remain for the interview: as a military officer, the knight would be able to assist in answering any questions the princesses might have regarding some of the terms used by Cricket and his fellow changelings while Mole's memories were playing. The fact that Cricket felt an irrational urge to earn the knight's approval may have had something to do with it as well: in the aftermath of the Canterlot invasion, Cricket had come to respect the older knight (well, he wasn't that much older than Cricket, but he was old enough that it made a difference) a great deal. Cricket raised a hoof, and said, dismissively, "Completely understandable. If our positions were reversed, and you had taken one of my subordinates captive, I'd have done much the same. The fact that you had every reason to believe, until you walked into the room, that I might have done something to your sister, would have just been fuel to the fire. Besides, you didn't do any realy damage: as my mentor used to say, if changelings weren't meant to get hit so often, we wouldn't have such a hard shell." Shining Armor chuckled, then raised an eyebrow and asked, "Subordinates, huh?" Cricket blushed and admitted, "I may have spent more time focused on advancing my military career than on romantic pursuits. It's probably why, in spite of being, what, five years younger than you are, I technically outrank you. Didn't stop me from making a few friends, though." The knight chuckled a bit at that, then said, "Well, you are still pretty young: you've got plenty of time to find somepony, or some"buggy", to share your life with." The knight laughed again as the changeling blushed brighter, then asked, "Already got somepony in mind?" Cricket was saved from having to answer that by Twilight Sparkle's timely arrival, carrying a new gemstone with her. "Got it," the princess said. "Now, as long as the two of you can keep from beating each other up, we can get this interview started." Shining Armor and Cricket shared a look, and Cricket said with a smirk, "I think I can keep my hooves in check. I wouldn't mind a sparring match sometime, though: Like I said earlier, your brother has a remarkable right cross. I wouldn't mind seeing it in action again." The knight laughed, and said, "I may indulge you sometime, when things are a bit less crazy." Shining Armor turned towards his sister, then nodded, saying, "But yeah, Twily, I don't think I'll be throwing any more punches today. Feel free to get started." With that, the door to the audience chamber was shut, and then magically sealed. The four princesses worked together for several minutes to seal the chamber completely from the outside world: no spell would ever reveal what transpired within these walls, no matter how powerful. Any secrets revealed inside this room would remain as such, unless spoken by somepony, or somebuggy, who was inside at the time of the interview. Finally, Twilight Sparkle said, a smile on her face, said, "Well, now that we're in private, are there any other secrets you'd like to share with us, before we get started?" Cricket's expression turned thoughtful for a moment, then said, in a matter of fact voice, "Well, my favorite color is blue, love songs make me hungry, and I think I may have once punched King Sombra in the face. I'm not sure about that last one: I was on an awful lot of medication during my hospital stay, so I may have dreamed that. I'd like to think that if that had actually happened, I'd remember it a bit more clearly. Other than that, I don't think there's anything else worth mentioning about me personally. I do know a few other secrets, but they're not my secrets alone, and I would rather not share them unless they become relevant." There was some general mirth around the room at the idea of the changeling having once socked the evil overlord of the Crystal Empire in the jaw (although nopony took it seriously, of course), and after a moment, Twilight Sparkle said, "Well, if nopony has any objections, I'd like to go first." There were none, so the youngest princess smiled, and said, "Before I get to the question proper, I wanted to make certain I understood a few things that you mentioned earlier today. Do you mind?" Cricket shook his head and said, "I'm an open book, your highness. The cover may not be prettiest, but you know what they say about that. Feel free to ask me anything you want." Twilight nodded, then began, stating, "You mentioned that the Commander of the swarm is responsible for the education of the commonborn changelings. You also mentioned that your predecessor, Blattaria, was, to paraphrase your own words, the posterboy for incompetence. Was he the Commander when you were a hatchling?" Cricket nodded. "Was he the one who taught you?" Cricket shook his head vigorously, and answered with a chuckle, "Absolutely not. He was notoriously lazy, and left that to his subordinates. And no, they didn't teach me, either. No offense to them, some of them were semi-decent teachers, but most of them were blithering incompetents who couldn't teach a rabbit to eat carrots. No, I got my education from somebuggy else." "And that," Twilight Sparkle said, smiling, "brings me to what I wanted to ask you." With a meaningful glance towards Princess Celestia, she continued, saying, "Somepony I respect once told me that you can tell a lot about somepony, or somebuggy, based on who taught them, so..." here the princess cleared her throat, and asked, much more formally... "This Is My Question: Who Taught You?" Cricket felt a tingle run through his skull, and after a moment, the gem stuck to his forehead flared to life. A window appeared above his head... ... It was years before the hive would turn mobile, becoming a swarm, back when their presence was still largely unknown in the southern lands, and they could still maintain a permanent base without fear of a serious attack. A new class of hatchlings was assembled in a chamber, and lessons began. Hatchling number 8675309 (who would one day become Commander Mole "Seven Tricks" Cricket) sat at the back of the class of hatchlings, listening to the adult changeling as he tried to explain "How Not To Be Seen". The first step, after hiding, was apparently not to reveal yourself when somebuggy calls your name. But while the hatchling was listening with one ear, and one eye watched the instructor and the other hatchlings with vague interest, the majority of his attention was on the changeling guard leaning against the back wall next to him. The changeling in question was older than any other the hatchling had ever seen. Instead of the dark, near black of most changeling shells, hers was instead a light grey from her advanced years. She wore armor, which was rare inside the hive, and unlike the shiny and new type a lot of the officers paraded around in, this was armor that had obviously seen a lot of the world. It was dented, chipped, scratched, and worn. This was the real deal: battle armor that had seen fierce battles and come back alive with the changeling wearing it. While definitely old, the changeling seemed to radiate a strange sort of solidarity and strength that the youngster had not seen in any other changeling he had encountered before. She never said anything, and her primary duty seemed to be keeping an eye on the hatchlings (possibly in case something happened that might put the young ones in danger) while the instructors did their job. For everybuggy else, this changeling was just a part of the background, completely unremarkable. But to 8675309, watching her was an education in and of itself. When the instructor said something that even the hatchling could tell was stupid, or just plain wrong, the guard's face would usually scowl, although sometimes, the guard would snort, or sometimes even chuckle quietly, as if what the instructor said was so stupid that she couldn't believe anybuggy could say it with a straight face. But other times, the guard actually gave a real smile, and nodded, as if the instructor had touched on something actually important, and got it exactly right. Those were things that the hatchling made certain he committed to memory... The instructor was fairly young, and obviously not very good at his job. He stuttered, repeated himself without meaning to, and muddled through the lesson as best he could, but it was clear, even to the hatchlings, that at least half of what he said was wrong. It was clear that the guard knew more than the instructor, which begged the question: if this veteran knew more than the instructor, why wasn't the guard instructing, and the instructor guarding? It was as if the world was upside down and nobuggy had noticed... When the lesson finally ended, the hatchling waited for everybuggy else to leave the chamber. When it was just the hatchling and the guard, they both sat there for a little while. After a moment, the guard looked down at the hatchling, and said, "Lessons are over. You can go now." "I..." the hatchling started, then struggled very hard to say the next few words. It was the first time he'd really made a serious request of an adult, and he was incredibly nervous. To his credit, he gathered his courage and with no more hesitation, said, "I want you to teach me." The guard actually looked surprised by that, then chuckled, asking, "And why would you want that?" 8675309 looked the guard straight in the eyes, and struggled to put the thought rattling around inside of his head into words. Finally, the idea crystalized in his brain, and before he thought better of it, he said, with the kind of brutal honesty available only to small children, the elderly, and complete jerks, "Because there's no way you could be that old if you're as dumb as the instructor is." The guard burst out laughing. While it came from a changeling who looked as rugged as a rhino, it was pure, clear, and surprisingly musical. The hatchling liked the sound of it, but he liked what he heard next a great deal more. "Alright, I might be able to teach you a few things. What would you like to know?" "Everything," the hatchling said, with the enthusiasm only possibly by somebuggy who has no idea just how much "everything" there is. The guard chuckled, and said, "Everything is a lot, hatchling. It'll take more than one lesson to cover it all." The guard's expression turned a bit more serious as she said, "And I'm not very patient. If it turns out you're wasting my time, I won't be happy about it. Are you ready for your first lesson?" The hatchling nodded, and the guard said, expression serious, "Follow me." ... There was an impression of time moving forward quickly, then the image slowed down again. ... The guard placed an unlit candle on a saucer in front of the hatchling, who sat in front of a table. After a moment, the guard said, "This is the best metaphor I can use for what I'm about to explain to you. This candle represents the love inside of a changeling's body. The saucer, before you ask, is just a saucer, and the table is just a table. Don't over-analyze this, okay, just listen and watch." The guard's horn flared with magic, and a small flame lit the candle. "Since you aren't an aristo, you can't use magic, except for changing your appearance, of course. However, since you are a commoner, you can use love to do things that an aristo can't. This flame represents how much love your body needs at any given time. While an aristo, or the queen, needs love to power her spells, a commoner can use love to strengthen their body in a variety of ways." The guard's horn flared again, and the flame doubled in intensity, as the hatchling's eyes widened in surprise. "You can make yourself twice as strong, twice as fast, and twice as tough, but at the cost of burning through the love inside you at double the rate for each attribute you intensify. The only limit to how much you can improve yourself, and for how long, is how much love you have. You can grant yourself strength to rival that of an elder dragon." The guard's horn flared again, and the candle's flame briefly intensified to a blaze that was as tall as the hatchling, then went out as the candle was consumed completely. "But only as long as you have enough love to sustain it." The guard pointed at the pool of wax now on the tabletop, and said, "You never, ever, ever want to use up all the love in your body if you can help it. If you do, you'll go into what is called Dry Hibernation. Your body will stiffen, and you'll be unable to move. You will be completely indestructible in this state, and while yes, you can live practically forever like this, it is not an experience I'd recommend, because you'll be rendered completely paralyzed, but still fully aware of all that's going on around you. If you're lucky, your fellow changelings will find you and give you enough love to restore your mobility. If you're unlucky, an enemy will find you, and use you as the world's ugliest coatrack, or perhaps as a foot stool, at your age." That didn't sound very fun, the hatchling thought to himself. He definitely didn't want to be stuck like that... The guard noticed the hatchling's expression, and said, "As long as you keep track of how much love you have, and how fast you're using it, you'll be fine. Now that you understand the concept, and the risks, I'll teach you how to do it yourself." --- There was an impression of more time passing, and images passing in rapid fire succession. Images of the guard teaching the hatchling lessons, the two sparring, and more, passed over the course of two to three minutes. In addition, there were a few snatches of words and sentences. Things like, "Never immediately believe a word spoken by an enemy. If they say up, look down, if they say left, look right. If you don't see anything, then look the way they said. Sometimes the enemy will say something honest just to throw you off," or "A good trick is better than ten soldiers at your side. An infiltrator on the inside can strike with the force of a legion. Brute force is for cracking walnuts. Cunning is for defeating armies." There was even, "The definition of insanity, and stupidity, is to do the exact same thing, the exact same way, expecting the outcome to be different. And I don't just mean the things that you do: repeating mistakes made by others is just as bad." Finally, the image began to slow, and resolved to a steady projection again. ... It was graduation day. All of the youngsters were gathered together. It had been three years of hard work and effort, but they were all ready for their assignments to their first squads. However, before they began dividing the hatchlings up, there was a ceremony where new squad leaders were selected. While a promotion could certainly occur after this ceremony, this was the best time to get ahead of your class. Everybuggy would see, right off the bat, that you were something special. 8675309 sat amongst the other commoners, waiting for this little ceremony to conclude. The candidates for squad leader were almost always aristos: you needed a recommendation from an aristo to be nominated, and the aristos almost always kept with their own... Blattaria, the current commander, stood next to his son, who, naturally, was first named. Blattaria was the only fat changeling in the hive: aristos can eat the same kind of food other creatures can, unlike commoners. However, this just adds calories, and eventually fat if not exercised off, but not nutrition. Blattaria was always eating, unless at a function like this one. His son, on the other hand, while certainly large, was all muscle. At least the apple had fallen an appropriate distance from the tree for the next generation. The aristos gathered finished announcing their choices for squad leaders, and it seemed that the ceremony was over, when the hatchling heard a familiar voice say, "I have a nomination for squad leader." The guard, the one whom the hatchling had been training with for the last three years after classes, was there... standing with the aristos? The queen, who had been presiding over the ceremony with a somewhat bored expression (she was barely a teenager at this point, and was infamous for finding ceremonies like this incredibly dull), perked up with interest. "Ah," the queen said, "Former Commander Vespidae. What a surprise! You have a nomination?" Blattaria began to make an objection, but the queen silenced him with a glance. It was no secret that the queen did not like the current commander, and only put up with him since there was nobuggy else willing to take up his mantle... or at least nobuggy else who was qualified: all of the current lieutenants, who would be eligible, were little more than the commander's toadies... But there was one changeling in the military branch of the hive that was nobuggy's toady. Vespidae, dressed, not in her battered battle gear, but in shining silver ceremonial armor, shouted, in a voice that could have been heard on the other side of a battlefield, "Hatchling Number Eight Six Seven Five Three Zero Nine! Attennnnn-tion!" It was amazing how the commanding officer's tone (she'd taught it to hatchling but he'd proven just as vulnerable to it as anybuggy else) could seemingly override a subordinate's brain, taking control of the body directly. The hatchling was on his hooves and at full attention before he'd even realized that he was in motion. Blattaria seemed offended by the choice of a commoner as squad commander, but knew better than to object. The only reason Vespidae wasn't commander now was because she WAS the commander, before Blattaria had taken up the role when she retired, following a personal tragedy involving her son. If she asked for the role back, the current commander would not have been able to refuse. While she no longer held the office, she was... well, she was famous, the most legendary of legends, in her own lifetime, no less. The hatchling had heard stories about her hundreds of victories over the various enemies of the hive prior to its relocation to the southern lands, but had never seen the mythic figure for himself. No, that was wrong: he'd been seeing her every day for the last three years after classes, without realizing it. He'd always just called her Granny (the guard, no, Vespidae, had insisted). For the last three years, he'd been getting pointers from one of the greatest commanders the hive had ever known, without having realized it. The distinction of becoming a squad leader meant that he'd be given, in addition to the rank, a name of his own. The former commander supplied one: Cricket. When Cricket asked her a little later about her choice, Vesipae had laughed, and said, "Because you're not afraid to leap before you look, little bug. An officer has to be willing to take risks if he wants to win, even if it means he has to jump into the unknown and deal with the consequences when he gets there. The first day of classes, you took a big chance, asking me to teach you, and it paid dividends. Never forget that: Who dares, wins." It wouldn't be until years later that he learned that "Cricket" had also been her son's name, a long, long time ago. The next day, Cricket found, in his new personal quarters in the hive, a package from the former commander. Inside was a suit of armor, just his size, as well as a larger suit that he'd have to grow into. Inside was a note, congratulating him on his new rank, and letting him know how proud she was of him, and wishing him well in his future endeavors. She was leaving him the armor that had been intended for her son, had circumstances not made it tragically unnecessary. She hoped it fit him well. It also said that the former commander was leaving the hive for good. Her plan, according to the note, was very simple: she planned on picking a direction at random, and going out in a straight line, undisguised, until she found someone, or something, who didn't know what she was. When she did, she'd settle there for the rest of her days... of which, there would not be many. Cricket had heard about how other creatures had this thing called tears: they had water come out of their eyes when they were sad. They cried. Changelings don't have that ability: that was the price they had to pay for having compound eyes, allowing them a wider range of vision than most other creatures. This was the first time, and certainly not the last, that Cricket would feel a little envious of the other races of the world. With a resolute expression, Squad Leader Cricket slapped on his helmet, strapped on his armor, and went out to address his new squad. He'd made a living legend proud of him. He wasn't going to let her down now by stopping in his tracks. He was going to keep leaping forward, into the unknown.