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I'm a shameless neckbeard who has a knack for writing a LOT of smut. I have an Official Patreon page (Patreon.com/TheVClaw), and I also take commissions to help support myself as a freelance writer.


[SPOILER WARNING: This story is set after the events of Season 9, Episodes 24 and 25. Because of that, there are mentions of various things that would require watching the whole season for context. Reader Discretion is Advised.]

After the massive climactic end to the Legion of Doom, Discord knew that his well-intentioned actions had to be rectified in a big way. And since he was directly involved in some of Equestria's most recent events, he already knew who to apologize to first: The Crystal Empire's leaders - Princess Cadance, and Prince Consort Shining Armor.

Even though the couple were already aware of Discord's contributions -- more specifically, how he was the one who revived King Sombra to attack their Empire months prior -- the two were willing to hear him out after he made a formal request for a counsel. Fortunately for them, the remorseful draconequus came prepared with a sincere apology, as well as a couple of thoughtful gifts for the Crystal Empire.
Unfortunately for Shining and Cadance, one of those gifts may have not been nearly as considerate as either of them would've preferred.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 36 )

I appreciate the nice image of Sombra in a French Maid outfit. Thank you.

While I'm not too happy with reading dark comedies, I appreciate the ending and it not getting too mean spirited.

I appreciate that I could see Discord doing this of not for the rating :)

damn, Flurry's got a dark side

When I saw the story image, I thought we were going to see queen umbra. Pity.

I can apprrciate that shining and cadence tried to keep hold of their moral High ground, it contrasted quite well with the blood lust of the crystal guards.

Discord. I can never tell if you are trolling or not.

I only clicked because sombra was in a maid outfit.
There, I said it

Alondro #9 · Oct 14th, 2019 · · 1 ·

Ya know, few people have realized that Discord being Grogar all along means one very important and disturbing thing: DISCORD CAN RAISE THE DEAD.

He is LITERALLY a god in every way imaginable.

Also, he will never let Fluttershy die... never... even as their world crumbles after a trillion years and every star goes out... SHE WILL BE ETERANLLY HIS!!! :fluttershbad:

So dark, much brooding... :trollestia:

Started off kinda heartwarming, and then turned into delicious levels of dark comedy. I loved this.

Have an upvote and a favorite.

“Not only did I disable Sombra’s horn to leave him permanently devoid of his magic, but I also added an incantation to keep him from trying any funny business. For you see, every time Sombra has violent or impure thoughts, or if he tries to ignore any orders, fifty thousand volts of electricity will strike him right at his genitals~”

Well, that's one way to get your point across :twilightoops:

*Reads more*

Oh Discord... you sick and clever bastard. Well done *Claps*

...And there's my first post finale like.

This is just so damn evil on so many levels. But you know what? Uncork those damn bottles and get drinking!

Nice work! You churned out a quality fic in a short amount of time!

She'll ascend to draconequushood at some point, mark my words. (Nature is far too chaotic for an alicorn to be its god)

Okay I will grant you it is funny, but also utterly horrifying. And since I think that was what you were going for, good job!

I'd like to know how creative the crystal ponies can be with their torture/mutilation of sombra because putting a baby in bandage. i never realized until now that sombra is a pedophile as well as a just plain evil pony.

Well, you could also argue that Sombra did that to Flurry because he understood how powerful she was. I mean, Flurry almost destroyed the Crystal Empire herself the moment she was born, so it's not hard to think that she could've defeated Sombra herself. And if Sombra knew her Alicorn magic could counteract his own, he could think that locking her up was a better choice than to risk being defeated by a baby.

Which is also deliciously ironic, since he got bested by a baby dragon twice in a row. :P

yes, a baby dragon is not the most epic way to go but still sombra is a pedophile for putting a baby of all creatures in bondage which i my book is more then enough to get you castrated with molten iron to your genitals for ten minutes straight at which point the genitals are little more then just plain ash with huge amounts of pain shooting through the body that you'll go into shock at die, but with sombra essentially immortal he's in for alot of castration with the number of foals a did unspeakable things to.

Not bad, even if I think it's too much... In the show Sombra did not damage them, torture mentally and throw in the dungeon maybe, but he never hurt them

No. Cadence and Shining should immediately not only save Sombra but prosecute anyone who has caused him harm. Its not about them, Its about having a better society, and that means being held to a higher standard. Even way back in their era, taking on the King's justice was frowned upon, so they have no excuse.

Of course Shining and crew shouldn't have let him go in the first place.

She was already using chaos powers in the finale.

Sombra was already very well protected from death - he roamed as a spirit for a bit over 1000 years, but came back under his own power. I suspect whatever he did really helped. Discord might not be *able* to bring back random ponies.

That said, I imagine Fluttershy is safe from old age as long as he has his powers, and of course he'll be protecting her from accident and attack as best he can, which is pretty well.

9887545 Sombra banished himself and the entire Crystal Empire out of time. You forgot that rather important detail. Then he was blown to bits.

He was quite dead. It's more than obvious Discord brought him back to life. Lacking any information at all that Sombra's connection to Dark Magic had anything to do with it, the ONLY conclusion is Discord possesses the power to resurrect anyone he wishes.

If the show had wished to imply otherwise, it failed to do so, and that's the fault of the writers.


Typical symptoms of being banished out of time do not include turning into a fog wraith thing. Sombra's deaths are so non-central examples of being dead that the conclusion you draw is wild and unjustifiable.

9888481 He was.. BLOWN APART.

Unless the show bothered suggest or state otherwise, HE WAS DEAD.


yet he'd come back from total body loss before. Show Discord pulling back someone who hadn't done that and you have solid evidence.

9889026 Did he come back from total body loss? Or was here merely stuck in his smoke form until his powers returned completely?

This is kinda why competent writers explain things, ya know?

In any case, STILL BLEW UP. Was dead. Discord brought him back. Nothing else says otherwise. If the writers intended Sombra to have had some influence over that, they should have at least suggested it.

I would like to note that everyone blindly praising this show was SOLIDLY behind the idea that Grogar brought Sombra back from the dead... until the terrible plot twist that it was Discord. Only then did it become necessary to completely change direction and claim Sombra somehow had a hand in bringing himself back... despite a total absence of any evidence for that.

Being stuck in a smoke form is a very significant way of being pretty danged far from dead, and he managed that all on his own. You don't even seem to realize how grasping-at-straws your entire argument is, while treating me as if I am grasping at straws.

Like, can Peter Pettigrew call people back from the dead? Well, that one guy, yes.

9889346 Voldemort wasn't dead. He had the Horcruxes. Did you even read that series?

Nothing in the show implies Sombra has anything like that. His comic origin story was the only thing that gave him an ability to reform... but that comic can't possibly be canon now. So, they totally blew it, and you just can't admit the finale's writing was rubbish.

If every single one of the palace guards is ready and willing to throw their jobs away for the sake of having their own personal plaything, you know he was an ass.

"Look, I know how much all of you have been itching to get Sombra back for everything he's caused, but shouldn't everypony within these walls get a piece of him first?"

"And shouldn't the punishments fit the crime?"

"Fine. But once they've all had their turn at him, we throw him out to the public and let them do as they will. I mean, since most of them aren't in our employ, they won't have much to lose by it."

tie him down over a growing crystal sapling and have the tree slowly impale him


I really don’t get why everyone hating on Discord, Celestia “literally” threw Twilight into the fire by having her fight all evils “WITH OUT ANY TRAINING” Discord literally baby sited the elements so they WOULDN'T DIE. Yet his the villain? Wut why ? Explain to me why would he be the bad guy ?

This is dark... I love it though

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