Princess Cadance has some problems in her sovereignty over the Crystal Empire. For one thing, she isn't even a crystal pony. Another thing is that the crystal ponies would much rather have the former King Sombra rule over them... despite previously reigning with an iron hoof and treating the populace like whipping mules. To prevent civil war, Cadance has a brilliant idea to ensure her bid for the throne while pleasing the people: have an election.
And it's any wonder ponies don't have democracy.
Collab with the undeniably blue and of a shifty variety Blueshift. Go on and check his stuff out!
Also, big thanks to my editors Aragon, Themaskedferret, and prereader Skeeter The Lurker.
Chapters (1)
I was going to make a pony pun about Kangaroo Court, but fuck it I'm too tired.
OH MY GOD. BOB, YOU DIDN'T.
Excellent.
Is it weird that Sombra has Keith David's voice in my head. I think it fits.
That went from funny, to insane, to insanely funny all in one go. :D
Goddammit.
Just...
Dammit, Bob.
Why.
Just...
Why.
That was oddly hilarious...even if no one was in character.
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Pffft, ha! As a musical fan, this made me giggle.
Your inability to give a buck about what people think is hilarious and I commend you for that.
Oh, yeah it is~ Wha? I mean, nothing!
...Huh. That's the most simplified and most logical reason for Sombra being a tyrant. He didn't slip into the arts of dark magic and he wasn't power hungry, he was just keeping a tight ship so ponies would stop being crazy.
Oh my god.
OH MY GOD.
It's official. Bob, I love you even more now. I didn't know how it was possible, but is.
I wasn't aware Sombra was the pony version of Mitt Romney.
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Basically.
Also, this was fricking hilarious and I'm too scared to add more quotes for fear of upsetting the great sponge deity. As a gift, I give you this picture of Sombra.
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Do with it as you will.
Also, +A gif usage.
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This explains everything.
Everything.
Well there you go. Exasperated Cadance is just as funny as Exasperated Celestia.
Good job, bobby!
Delightfully over the top.
"Actually, Luna and I just wanted to make the Crystal Ponies go away for a while. Sombra was just sort of collateral damage."
This why Cadance needs to introduce Vetinari style democracy to the Crystal Empire: One mare, one vote. She's the mare, so she gets the vote.
Humanized interpretation of this Monday:
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"Down with the Police State! End Military Rule! We shall be free, like our fathers were!"
Next Monday:
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"The Peasant Dogs need to learn their place! For Princess Candenza, rightful Empress!"
The Monday after that:
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"I, George Washingtalon shall lead this brave attack on tyranny in the name of liberty and democracy. We shall depose of the old Feudal Orders, and the tyrannical Princesses and instead, impose a new system based on the consent of the governed!.. They're gone? Oh thank God, can somebody save me?.. Please?.. Conner, it was Beneyolks idea to attack your village-oh god they spotted me, ah-"
I do love callbacks to other stories.
As for this one... This is going to seem like an odd simile, but this sort of story is like a Bob Dylan song. If you try to listen for the lyrics as you would most vocalists, you're not going to enjoy it. But if you treat the voice as one of many instruments, then it becomes much better. So it is here. Concern yourself with continuity, sanity, or the flammability of crystal buildings, and this story will have you as frustrated as Cadance. Better to sit back and let the insanity wash over you.
And that's my "RainbowBob Dylan" school of fanfic philosophy. Thanks for this.
Oh! So not only did you ask me to be a proof-reader and then go ahead without me, you blates ripped off a fic of my own!
I will see you at dawn sir. Flintlock pistols. No items. Three lives.
The story was great, the GIF at the end was adorable, and you get a fave! Faves to the fave god, RainbowBob!
I think my eye is twitching about as much as Cadance's.
I had something to comment here, but I have decided to retract it because from out of that comment I got the most awesome idea.
I just need to finish this romance, and then it's time for Silly Shorts! Wahaha!
Well Cadance, now you know how George, Louis and Nicholas II feel.
You two working together is amazing.
Simply amazing.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Oh how hilarious.
This was hilarious!
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You'd have to get rid of this knightyatorshipping, first.
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I have suddenly got an image in my head of this Cadance becoming so freaking tired of all the anarchy and revolutions that she decides to become Pony Vetinari.
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"After the Crystal Empire, Shiny, a hoofful of flying melons present a very minor problem indeed."
The only disappointment was not seeing any appearance of the booing lady from The Princess Bride. I thought it would be that first lady at the castle gates, but then it went all Le Mis instead.
The Crystal Empire has issues.
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Nothing a healthy dose of Vader can't fix.
Meh, even the youngest audience who watch MLP know Cadence is little more than a figurehead for Celestia and the Crystal "Empire" is a puppet state. They're on to you.
Look out boys, we got a bro here!
Says the Head of the Military. Smart move, bro. You'll make a Sith yet!
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What about willy
Mondays man! They are a wreck!
Somehow this makes a ton of sense, King Sombra seems like the type of leader that would wear a "I'm getting too old for this" shirt when he goes to work.
Yo momma so fat...
Used car salesman: *slap top of this fanfic* This bad boy can fit so much fucking awesomeness in it
*ussr anthem starts playing in my head*
This is freaking amazing
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