• Member Since 16th May, 2013
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago


I'm a shameless neckbeard who has a knack for writing a LOT of smut. I have an Official Patreon page (Patreon.com/TheVClaw), and I also take commissions to help support myself as a freelance writer.


One night at Sweet Apple Acres, Apple Bloom hears strange noises in the house, and wakes up her sister for help. Because of that, Applejack and the family find out that Granny Smith isn't alone in her bedroom. Apparently, the mare found herself a special somepony; however, that pony isn't anyone that they would've ever expected.

Edit 6/19/20: Woooo, I got featured on Equestria Daily!

I want to thank Zyrian and Furion for proofreading this drunken idea of mine. Also, you can listen to an audio recording of the story here, as done by Voiceguy.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 113 )

Freaking awesome. Instant like. I can't wait to read any future stories from you. Great story. I loved it.

Dammit, upvote button, why did you make me click you?

:pinkiesick: AJ was tending her apple stand in ponyville the next morning, Tired & frustrated .She saw Spike & Rarity making kissy faces:moustache::raritystarry:
:applejackunsure:"Musta been thar stunt doubles that went down on the Titanic, That ship sunk years ago!":derpytongue2:
The thought of Granny made her lose all hope of a Coltfriend. . .Horse-apples!:facehoof::rainbowhuh::pinkiegasp::flutterrage::raritywink:

"Thunderlame?" Ha Ha Ha Ha

Ok, first of all: *Hurls at the mental images*. Secondly, this was hilarious.

Oh god poor MAC

Awesome! Granny was just perfect here. Bravo!

If I was Applejack I would say, "Fine you have to deal with Applebloom being afraid of ghosts in the morning, next time feel free to do this at his house, and let's never talk of this again..."

I'm still having nightmares from editing that thing.

Comment posted by Zyrian deleted Sep 24th, 2014

That is freaking hilarious! Dear Luna protect me from the dreams, however :rainbowlaugh:

:rainbowlaugh: ROLF That was harilious!:rainbowlaugh:

I just wonder one thing. Is it still counts to be a milf situation or it's alredy mutch over that?:rainbowderp:

Granny needs some lovin' too.

5050077 GILF, my friend. GILF.

I don't want to upvote this, because upvoting it would make a statement that I enjoyed what I read, and what I read was mildly disturbing and may make me gouge my eyes out.

But at the same time, I want to upvote it, because it was well-written and funny.

...Screw it; green thumb!


Good for Granny and Thunderlane...!

I nearly pissed myself

"Granny! What's-- AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"
Giving off a surprisingly high-pitched scream, Big Macintosh stumbled back from Granny Smith's bedroom with a mortified expression, his coat several shades paler than it was when he entered.

Well, looks like I'll never be able to look at Granny Smith the same way again. Thank you for ruining another perfectly good character for me. :ajsmug:

. . . Seriously though, that was great. Your writing style was flawless, your characters were believable, and the piece itself was just funny. Great work!

5050435 Thanks for the correction. :)

A swing? I don't get it:rainbowhuh:

I am slightly creeped out right now.

XD best laugh all week you have earned a fave

5051082 If you don't get it after that, you REALLY DON'T WANT TO.

Pass the bleach.:pinkiecrazy:

As Granny herself would probably put it, quit yer whinin'.

5051055 Oh, you sweet summer child.

"Oh, stop bein' such a sour grape! At least Ah'm actually seein' somepony!"

My thoughts...


This is both funny and heartfelt. With just a dash of disturbing. It has most definitely earned its green thumb.

5051082 What, is it like a bondage thing or something?:rainbowhuh:

5051175 I'll bellyache if I so please. :rainbowwild:


Imagine doing the deed with the...assistance of a swing. An actual swing, like...a grownup version of a playground swing.

I assume you got tired of waiting for that coverart from those drawfags?

Wow.....umm......I'm not......I don't.......umm.....I gotta step outside for a sec.:rainbowderp:

5051055 Uh.. well.. I guess it would be kind of smooth, and hard...
I can sort of see what they would be doing with it :rainbowderp:

Darn it, get yer butt over here so Ah can spank ya.:flutterrage:


That's a ll I have to say"

:pinkiesick: Mac isn't the only one throwing up... I WAS EATING!!!!!!

5051302 you just gave me the best idea I have ever had for a clopfic..... :pinkiegasp:

5051606 I did? Message me about it. I can edit it for you.

DUDE!, just Dude.

you guys know that scene in Big Bang Theory where Sheldon is trying to answer a physics question during a quiz game, but doesnt know the answer?

Thats my face right now. Thanks for that. now if you excuse me, I need Brain Bleach.

This one is hilareous! I love it! I give it 5 yays. :yay::yay::yay::yay::yay:

Bah, old people need lovin' too :P

Y'all are weenies.

thumbs up.:moustache:

Well...That was very...Eye opening...and by the way...





....Ew. :pinkiesick:

Amazing! I laughed, my skin crawled and I couldn't believe it!
Well... Older women don't play around!

Granny still got da swag.:moustache:

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