T"I must KILL Princess Twilight Sparkle!!"
MLP: FiM
Comedy
Slice of Life
After falling foul of Twilight's machinations in their last encounter, Spoiled Rich concocts what some may regard as a drastic plan to set things right. Dare you read on? I think you do.
Alt. Universe
Twilight
Spike
Diamond Tiara
CMCs
Spoiled Rich
deadpansnarker · 5.4k words · 79 3 · 1.2k views
TThe One Where Filthy Rich Finally Grows A Pair
MLP: FiM
Drama
Slice of Life
Simply put: Filthy Rich hears about his wife's outrageous behaviour during the events of Crusaders Of The Lost Mark, and goes to confront her about it. Expect fireworks. And a broken glass or two, if you listen hard enough.
Alt. Universe
Filthy Rich
Spoiled Rich
deadpansnarker · 2.6k words · 123 7 · 1.4k views
EOzymandias
MLP: FiM
Dark
Sad
Tragedy
The Legion Of Doom are finally free from the stultifying confines of their stone prison! There's just one thing stopping them from resuming their terrifying campaign of terror though, and it's a pretty major one...
Chrysalis
Tirek
Cozy Glow
deadpansnarker · 1.8k words · 105 5 · 1.8k views
EDowngrade
MLP: FiM
Drama
Mystery
When Twilight has returned from limbo as an Alicorn, Celestia also underwent a big change. This one was not quite so... expected, though.
Alt. Universe
Twilight
Celestia
Luna
Cadance
Main 6
deadpansnarker · 1.5k words · 94 2 · 1.5k views
E"I Cannot Possibly Work Under These Conditions!!"
MLP: FiM
Comedy
Random
The intro to My Little Pony starts, but somepony's missing. And that pony is... Twilight Sparkle? Where could she possibly be?
Twilight
Spike
Main 6
deadpansnarker · 1.9k words · 63 6 · 1.2k views
EAs Hungry As A Horse
MLP: FiM
Comedy
Random
Twilight Sparkle: "Pinkie Pie, could you please stop trying to eat me?"
Twilight
Pinkie
Main 6
deadpansnarker · 2.2k words · 55 4 · 883 views
THelp! I've Been Kidnapped By An Alicorn!
MLP: FiM
Adventure
Comedy
Drama
A troubled fourteen year old boy who's never heard of 'My Little Pony' or 'Twilight Sparkle' finds himself being abducted by the latter and taken to Equestria, in a form that's not even his own. What does his future hold? Why don't you find out?
Human
Twilight
Spike
Celestia
Luna
Main 6
deadpansnarker · 6.2k words · 145 10 · 3.4k views
EThe Joys Of Being The Dad Of An Overpowered Alicorn
MLP: FiM
Comedy
Slice of Life
"I only left my daughter alone for an instant Mr Officer, I didn't know this would happen. Her name? Flurry Heart. My name? Prince Shining Armour... oh, so namedropping that I'm royalty won't do me any good? That's a shame..."
Shining Armor
Flurry Heart
deadpansnarker · 2.5k words · 27 1 · 427 views
EA Rusty Reprieve
MLP: FiM
Comedy
On the eve of being frozen in stone like her co-conspiritors in evil Tirek and Chrysalis, Cozy Glow gets an unexpected guest from her recent past who wants to plead her case. What follows is... surprising to say the least.
Alt. Universe
Twilight
Celestia
Luna
Main 6
Cozy Glow
deadpansnarker · 3.3k words · 54 3 · 922 views
EFlurry In A Hurry
MLP: FiM
Comedy
Slice of Life
Now at that 'tricky' age of nine, a moody Flurry Heart is left with her aunt Twilight for the afternoon while Shining Armour goes off to take care of... something. Their time together is more eventful than either one expects...
Twilight
Shining Armor
Flurry Heart
deadpansnarker · 2.2k words · 34 2 · 716 views
TWhat Spike Gets Up To Upstairs.
MLP: FiM
Comedy
Slice of Life
Spike gets two special guests one sunny afternoon at The Castle Of Friendship, and soon Twilight's attention is taken by some very strange noises coming from his room. What could be going on in there?
Twilight
Rarity
Spike
Starlight Glimmer
Ember
deadpansnarker · 2.6k words · 52 4 · 1.3k views
EStarlight Express
MLP: FiM
Comedy
Slice of Life
A week after she moves in, a guilty Twilight tells Starlight there are no funds in the bank so she'll have to pay rent... or she's out. What does the newly-reformed unicorn do? Start her own delivery service across time and space itself. As you do.
Twilight
Spike
Starlight Glimmer
deadpansnarker · 2.6k words · 50 4 · 702 views
EJust A Heartbeat Away.
MLP: FiM
Sad
Slice of Life
In an most unexpected turn of events, the Queen has woken up this morning to discover an alicorn in her bed. Just what is the meaning of this?
Human
Twilight
deadpansnarker · 1.4k words · 28 4 · 801 views
TI MUST HAVE Princess Twilight Sparkle!
MLP: FiM
Romance
Dark
Comedy
Somepony is OBSESSED with the new Equestria ruler Princess Twilight Sparkle, and it's not a very healthy attraction to say the least. Let's join this somewhat disturbed individual as they plot their conquest of her, and see what happens next...
Twilight
Spike
deadpansnarker · 2.5k words · 434 views
EI Love Princess Twilight Sparkle.
MLP: FiM
Romance
Comedy
Everyone loves Twilight Sparkle. This pony more than most though, and he is determined to tell her to her face. What is the identity of this mysterious crush, though? And will he success in his romantic rendezvous?
Twilight
Spike
deadpansnarker · 1.9k words · 26 1 · 912 views
ETwilight's Very First Christmas
MLP: FiM
Comedy
A jolly bearded man who you and I know well spirits Twilight and some of her friends over to Earth to help out with something called 'Christmas Eve'. It would've been nice if he'd properly asked her permission first, but we can't have everything.
Fluttershy
Twilight
Rainbow Dash
Spike
Wonderbolts
deadpansnarker · 4k words · 18 1 · 422 views
E"Where Has Everypony Gone?!"
MLP: FiM
Comedy
Mystery
The day after her coronation in Canterlot, Twilight wakes up to discover everyone has just... vanished. Finding out what happened to them may be the most difficult thing she's ever done...
Twilight
deadpansnarker · 3.4k words · 112 7 · 1.9k views
ESpike Accidentally Breaks Twilight's Horn And Must Face The Consequences.
MLP: FiM
Comedy
Random
Please see title for details. And no, I'm not going to wuss out by making it about a musical horn or something, this is Twilight's actual magical horn. Also don't worry, it's a lot more light-hearted than it sounds. Kinda.
Alt. Universe
Twilight
Spike
CMCs
Starlight Glimmer
deadpansnarker · 3.3k words · 40 10 · 1.1k views

Why, hello there. If you're looking for fitfully updated chapter fics, comedic one-shots and shameless sarcasm, you've come to the right place.

If not, then stay anyway. You might just like it here.

Most popular stories 1-5

My Secret Daughter Starlight Glimmer's friends all find out she has became a mother long before any of them met her. But what'll happen when they make the discovery the long-lost filly isn't so 'lost' after all? What'll happens if... she just lives around the corner? by deadpansnarker 50,391 words · 691 · 55
A Mother's 'Love' Diamond Tiara finds out the consequences of her actions against Spoiled Rich after she stood up to her in front of the entire school. Disgraced, her precious tiara taken away...Then, somepony knocks on her door late at night, and everything changes. by deadpansnarker 170,362 words · 671 · 37
My Life As A Psychopathic Nine Year Old Filly A Cozy Glow-hating brony is fooled by the nefarious filly herself into switching bodies, now he's the one locked in Tartarus while she's causing havoc in his world. Uh-oh. Also, nopony believes him... because he's Cozy Glow. Makes perfect sense. by deadpansnarker 34,586 words · 534 · 55
Diamond Tiara's Shock Announcement Diamond Tiara has something to say to her entire family... and they're not going to be too happy about it. Especially a certain female parent of hers... by deadpansnarker 2,483 words · 513 · 23
Twilight Sparkle vs Ponyville Princess Twilight Sparkle wakes up early one morning, stretches, then decides to destroy Ponyville. As you do. by deadpansnarker 1,632 words · 496 · 18

Most popular stories 6-10

The Crazy Adventures Of Two Siblings Who Hate Each Other In Equestria. You've heard the story before, right? The guy who wakes up as Twilight Sparkle one day in Ponyville and has to adapt.Well what about if his younger sister accompanied him as Spike, and he knows next-to-nothing about the show whilst she's a crazy fan? by deadpansnarker 37,976 words · 345 · 29
"Did you really expect me not to notice?!" In the aftermath of 'All Bottled Up', Starlight and Trixie think they've got off scot-free. Aha, but they reckoned without the keen observational skills of one Twilight Sparkle, and what followed is now documented here for posterity. by deadpansnarker 1,202 words · 330 · 29
Scootaloo's Aunts Attend Family Appreciation Day It's Family Appreciation Day once again, and Scootaloo's aunts/parents are making their long awaited debut. Unfortunately, their arrival coincides with Filthy and Spoiled Rich's presentation and, well... by deadpansnarker 3,827 words · 304 · 19
A Homecoming To Remember Just before becoming a Princess but after the events of Magical Mystery Cure, alicorn Twilight arrives in Canterlot to tell her parents the big news. Their reaction however isn't quite what she expected.. by deadpansnarker 1,321 words · 285 · 16
Diamond Tiara's Second Shock Announcement: Better Luck This Time Diamond Tiara had something very important to tell her family, but it didn't quite work out. Undeterred, she decides to try again with renewed determination... it can't all go wrong again, right? Right?! by deadpansnarker 2,764 words · 277 · 5

Most popular stories 11-15

"I Wish To Register An Official COMPLAINT!!" A few days after the events of 'Crusaders Of The Lost Mark', an apoplectic Spoiled Rich goes to Twilight to shout at her. A lot. This should be interesting... let's eavesdrop, shall we? by deadpansnarker 3,397 words · 278 · 7
Power Grab Celestia is totally exhausted working hard day in day out, and eventually decides to use magic to get herself some much-needed rest. The spell she uses is a mite too powerful though, and isn't she in for a shock when she wakes up.... by deadpansnarker 1,705 words · 264 · 11
Twilight's Diamond Daughter After hearing dreadful tales of Diamond Tiara's less-than-ideal home life, A newly-crowned Twilight decides to offer her a whole new start. But will Diamond be happy with Twilight, or will her real parents get their act together at long last? by deadpansnarker 37,081 words · 248 · 16
Diamond Tiara's Shock Announcement: Third Time's The Charm After Diamond Tiara's first two experiences delivering big news to her parents, you'd think that'll be it. But, nope... she has yet another bombshell to drop, and this time Spoiled Rich isn't going to take it lying down. by deadpansnarker 3,480 words · 247 · 9

Top Favourites 1-5

Skin of Diamond, Heart of Glass Apple Bloom's perception of Diamond Tiara is challenged by Quillery 7,466 words · 263 · 1
We Can Do This Forever Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer are evenly-matched. Every time Twilight tries to stop Starlight's plan, she fails. That means Starlight wins, right? by Empirical Deduction 15,073 words · 1,329 · 20
Breaking Out Diamond Tiara has a breakdown after what happened in Family Appreciation Day. by BlackM 4,992 words · 174 · 3
Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara: The Reason For The Feud The Apples and the Riches have had a good relationship for a few generations, up until Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara. What is it about Apple Bloom that makes Diamond Tiara so mad, and can they ever reconcile their differences? by Never2muchpinkie 33,080 words · 84 · 1
Snipping a Diamond Diamond Tiara has had the worst night of her life, but then Snips appeared... by Starwind Dood 12,605 words · 142 · 4

Probably. I'm a pretty fickle person. Though No 1 is a cert.

Top Favourites 6-10

One Word Cheerilee repremands Diamond Tiara in the worst possible way. by BronyWriter 4,531 words · 1,424 · 29
A Diamond Comes Between Friendship? Apple Bloom and Scootaloo have both fallen for Diamond Tiara, and are both intent on winning her affections. by Yukito 69,664 words · 231 · 11
The Pony I Wanna Be Diamond Tiara has been mean for so long that looking back on her life now that she has changed fills her with such regret, that she decides to do something about it. by DragonShadow 2,013 words · 133 · 2
Alula and Diamond Tiara's Adventures in Romance The adventures of the cutest couple in Ponyville Elementary School by Yukito 57,828 words · 273 · 8
Closing Time After being cheated into selling her tomatoes at a lower price by a certain pink pony, Roma's afternoon does nothing but go downhill. by MalWinters 4,719 words · 105 · 2

Top Favourites 11-15

The Diamond Cutter She’s a rich filly. He’s a poor colt. What happens when Diamond Tiara accepts a dare to take Snips to the Sadie Hoofkins Dance? by Nova Force 28,643 words · 72 · 1
Dear Idiot After the gala, Princess Celestia sends Blueblood a letter to "explain" a few things... by The Descendant 2,809 words · 1,748 · 44
To Start a Fire A few months after his "redemption," Luna challenges Discord to give up chaos for good and truly become a hero. It doesn't go well. by Dubs Rewatcher 5,289 words · 68 · 2
Discord of Tomorrow After Discord failed to break up Twilight's friendships, he decides to trade places with a future Discord where the Elements would no longer exist. A future where, unknown to him, Discord has been reformed... by ChaoticConduct 9,935 words · 594 · 5
Diamond Tiara's Little Sister Diamond Tiara gains a little sister, and she's not happy about it. by AliceA020 2,173 words · 77 · 1