ETwilight Gets Scammed.
MLP: FiM
Comedy
Slice of Life
Twilight gets an offer she can't refuse. Maybe she should have.
Twilight
Spike
deadpansnarker · 2.7k words · 79 1 · 1.2k views
EA Princess's First Mission: Getting The Milk.
MLP: FiM
Comedy
Slice of Life
The day after Twilight becomes an Alicorn, she finds out there's no milk in the fridge so she decides to go grocery shopping. What could possibly go wrong? Well…
Twilight
Spike
deadpansnarker · 2.9k words · 31 1 · 621 views
TSpike Seems... Different?
MLP: FiM
Comedy
Random
Twilight gathers all her friends together for a private meeting to ask them if they've noticed any changes in Spike's behaviour. And as each one starts to share their story, a worrying pattern begins to emerge...
Twilight
Spike
Main 6
deadpansnarker · 1.6k words · 99 14 · 2k views
TI. Am Not. A Pony. Secret Agent!!
MLP: FiM
Comedy
Drama
The day he is supposed to be getting married, a man wakes up to find himself in Equestria as Sweetie Drops... who is of course already hitched to Lyra Heartstrings. And no, he doesn't consider any of this to be very 'sweet'.
Human
Spike
Lyra
Bon-Bon
Main 6
deadpansnarker · 14k words · 82 4 · 1.2k views
T"You know what you did."
MLP: FiM
Dark
Drama
Mystery
Twilight wakes up the day after her coronation not in the palace as she expects, but in a far more constrictive environment. In trying to figure out how she got there, what happened and why everyone treats her different now, she may well go insane...
Alt. Universe
Twilight
deadpansnarker · 8.3k words · 56 3 · 767 views
ETHIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!
MLP: FiM
Comedy
Random
Twilight summons all her friends urgently for a date at the Castle Of Friendship. They come straight away of course, but the predicament they face... well...
Twilight
Spike
Main 6
deadpansnarker · 2k words · 70 4 · 1.4k views
EMessy
MLP: FiM
Comedy
Drama
Slice of Life
For a while now, Twilight has been hiding the symptoms of a devastating disorder, which only Spike knows the true extent of. Just recently though, things have been getting much worse, and it's only a matter of time until...
Twilight
Spike
Main 6
deadpansnarker · 6.8k words · 30 4 · 634 views
TThe Gelding
MLP: FiM
Comedy
Drama
On a typically quiet day at Sweet Apple Acres, Big Mac tells Applejack he's thinking of having a vasectomy. This causes no friction between the pair at all, of course.
Applejack
Big Mac
deadpansnarker · 1.7k words · 53 4 · 861 views
T"I must KILL Princess Twilight Sparkle!!"
MLP: FiM
Comedy
Slice of Life
After falling foul of Twilight's machinations in their last encounter, Spoiled Rich concocts what some may regard as a drastic plan to set things right. Dare you read on? I think you do.
Alt. Universe
Twilight
Spike
Diamond Tiara
CMCs
Spoiled Rich
deadpansnarker · 5.4k words · 90 3 · 1.7k views
TThe One Where Filthy Rich Finally Grows A Pair
MLP: FiM
Drama
Slice of Life
Simply put: Filthy Rich hears about his wife's outrageous behaviour during the events of Crusaders Of The Lost Mark, and goes to confront her about it. Expect fireworks. And a broken glass or two, if you listen hard enough.
Alt. Universe
Filthy Rich
Spoiled Rich
deadpansnarker · 2.6k words · 131 7 · 2k views
EOzymandias
MLP: FiM
Dark
Sad
Tragedy
The Legion Of Doom are finally free from the stultifying confines of their stone prison! There's just one thing stopping them from resuming their terrifying campaign of terror though, and it's a pretty major one...
Chrysalis
Tirek
Cozy Glow
deadpansnarker · 1.8k words · 120 5 · 2.3k views
EDowngrade
MLP: FiM
Drama
Mystery
When Twilight has returned from limbo as an Alicorn, Celestia also underwent a big change. This one was not quite so... expected, though.
Alt. Universe
Twilight
Celestia
Luna
Cadance
Main 6
deadpansnarker · 1.5k words · 97 2 · 2.1k views
E"I Cannot Possibly Work Under These Conditions!!"
MLP: FiM
Comedy
Random
The intro to My Little Pony starts, but somepony's missing. And that pony is... Twilight Sparkle? Where could she possibly be?
Twilight
Spike
Main 6
deadpansnarker · 1.9k words · 72 6 · 1.5k views
EAs Hungry As A Horse
MLP: FiM
Comedy
Random
Twilight Sparkle: "Pinkie Pie, could you please stop trying to eat me?"
Twilight
Pinkie
Main 6
deadpansnarker · 2.2k words · 59 4 · 1.1k views
THelp! I've Been Kidnapped By An Alicorn!
MLP: FiM
Adventure
Comedy
Drama
A troubled fourteen year old boy who's never heard of 'My Little Pony' or 'Twilight Sparkle' finds himself being abducted by the latter and taken to Equestria, in a form that's not even his own. What does his future hold? Why don't you find out?
Human
Twilight
Spike
Celestia
Luna
Main 6
deadpansnarker · 11k words · 186 12 · 5.2k views
EThe Joys Of Being The Dad Of An Overpowered Alicorn
MLP: FiM
Comedy
Slice of Life
"I only left my daughter alone for an instant Mr Officer, I didn't know this would happen. Her name? Flurry Heart. My name? Prince Shining Armour... oh, so namedropping that I'm royalty won't do me any good? That's a shame..."
Shining Armor
Flurry Heart
deadpansnarker · 2.5k words · 33 1 · 605 views
EA Rusty Reprieve
MLP: FiM
Comedy
On the eve of being frozen in stone like her co-conspiritors in evil Tirek and Chrysalis, Cozy Glow gets an unexpected guest from her recent past who wants to plead her case. What follows is... surprising to say the least.
Alt. Universe
Twilight
Celestia
Luna
Main 6
Cozy Glow
deadpansnarker · 3.3k words · 59 3 · 1.3k views
EFlurry In A Hurry
MLP: FiM
Comedy
Slice of Life
Now at that 'tricky' age of nine, a moody Flurry Heart is left with her aunt Twilight for the afternoon while Shining Armour goes off to take care of... something. Their time together is more eventful than either one expects...
Twilight
Shining Armor
Flurry Heart
deadpansnarker · 2.2k words · 38 3 · 890 views

Why, hello there. If you're looking for fitfully updated chapter fics, comedic one-shots and shameless sarcasm, you've come to the right place.

If not, then stay anyway. You might just like it here.

Most popular stories 1-5

My Secret Daughter Starlight Glimmer's friends all find out she has became a mother long before any of them met her. But what'll happen when they make the discovery the long-lost filly isn't so 'lost' after all? What'll happens if... she just lives around the corner? by deadpansnarker 50,391 words · 693 · 55
A Mother's 'Love' Diamond Tiara finds out the consequences of her actions against Spoiled Rich after she stood up to her in front of the entire school. Disgraced, her precious tiara taken away...Then, somepony knocks on her door late at night, and everything changes. by deadpansnarker 170,362 words · 678 · 37
My Life As A Psychopathic Nine Year Old Filly A Cozy Glow-hating brony is fooled by the nefarious filly herself into switching bodies, now he's the one locked in Tartarus while she's causing havoc in his world. Uh-oh. Also, nopony believes him... because he's Cozy Glow. Makes perfect sense. by deadpansnarker 34,586 words · 546 · 54
Diamond Tiara's Shock Announcement Diamond Tiara has something to say to her entire family... and they're not going to be too happy about it. Especially a certain female parent of hers... by deadpansnarker 2,483 words · 525 · 23
Twilight Sparkle vs Ponyville Princess Twilight Sparkle wakes up early one morning, stretches, then decides to destroy Ponyville. As you do. by deadpansnarker 1,632 words · 511 · 18

Most popular stories 6-10

The Crazy Adventures Of Two Siblings Who Hate Each Other In Equestria. You've heard the story before, right? The guy who wakes up as Twilight Sparkle one day in Ponyville and has to adapt.Well what about if his younger sister accompanied him as Spike, and he knows next-to-nothing about the show whilst she's a crazy fan? by deadpansnarker 47,861 words · 389 · 33
"Did you really expect me not to notice?!" In the aftermath of 'All Bottled Up', Starlight and Trixie think they've got off scot-free. Aha, but they reckoned without the keen observational skills of one Twilight Sparkle, and what followed is now documented here for posterity. by deadpansnarker 1,202 words · 330 · 29
Scootaloo's Aunts Attend Family Appreciation Day It's Family Appreciation Day once again, and Scootaloo's aunts/parents are making their long awaited debut. Unfortunately, their arrival coincides with Filthy and Spoiled Rich's presentation and, well... by deadpansnarker 3,827 words · 310 · 20
"I Wish To Register An Official COMPLAINT!!" A few days after the events of 'Crusaders Of The Lost Mark', an apoplectic Spoiled Rich goes to Twilight to shout at her. A lot. This should be interesting... let's eavesdrop, shall we? by deadpansnarker 3,397 words · 295 · 7
A Homecoming To Remember Just before becoming a Princess but after the events of Magical Mystery Cure, alicorn Twilight arrives in Canterlot to tell her parents the big news. Their reaction however isn't quite what she expected.. by deadpansnarker 1,321 words · 286 · 15

Most popular stories 11-15

Diamond Tiara's Second Shock Announcement: Better Luck This Time Diamond Tiara had something very important to tell her family, but it didn't quite work out. Undeterred, she decides to try again with renewed determination... it can't all go wrong again, right? Right?! by deadpansnarker 2,764 words · 282 · 5
Power Grab Celestia is totally exhausted working hard day in day out, and eventually decides to use magic to get herself some much-needed rest. The spell she uses is a mite too powerful though, and isn't she in for a shock when she wakes up.... by deadpansnarker 1,705 words · 266 · 11
Twilight's Diamond Daughter After hearing dreadful tales of Diamond Tiara's less-than-ideal home life, A newly-crowned Twilight decides to offer her a whole new start. But will Diamond be happy with Twilight, or will her real parents get their act together at long last? by deadpansnarker 37,081 words · 255 · 15
Diamond Tiara's Shock Announcement: Third Time's The Charm After Diamond Tiara's first two experiences delivering big news to her parents, you'd think that'll be it. But, nope... she has yet another bombshell to drop, and this time Spoiled Rich isn't going to take it lying down. by deadpansnarker 3,480 words · 251 · 9

Top Favourites 1-5

Skin of Diamond, Heart of Glass Apple Bloom's perception of Diamond Tiara is challenged by Quillery 7,466 words · 271 · 2
We Can Do This Forever Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer are evenly-matched. Every time Twilight tries to stop Starlight's plan, she fails. That means Starlight wins, right? by Empirical Deduction 15,073 words · 1,350 · 20
Breaking Out Diamond Tiara has a breakdown after what happened in Family Appreciation Day. by BlackM 4,992 words · 175 · 3
Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara: The Reason For The Feud The Apples and the Riches have had a good relationship for a few generations, up until Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara. What is it about Apple Bloom that makes Diamond Tiara so mad, and can they ever reconcile their differences? by Never2muchpinkie 33,080 words · 84 · 1
Snipping a Diamond Diamond Tiara has had the worst night of her life, but then Snips appeared... by Starwind Dood 12,605 words · 144 · 4

Probably. I'm a pretty fickle person. Though No 1 is a cert.

Top Favourites 6-10

One Word Cheerilee repremands Diamond Tiara in the worst possible way. by BronyWriter 4,531 words · 1,439 · 29
A Diamond Comes Between Friendship? Apple Bloom and Scootaloo have both fallen for Diamond Tiara, and are both intent on winning her affections. by Yukito 69,664 words · 232 · 11
The Pony I Wanna Be Diamond Tiara has been mean for so long that looking back on her life now that she has changed fills her with such regret, that she decides to do something about it. by DragonShadow 2,013 words · 134 · 2
Alula and Diamond Tiara's Adventures in Romance The adventures of the cutest couple in Ponyville Elementary School by Yukito 57,828 words · 277 · 8
Closing Time After being cheated into selling her tomatoes at a lower price by a certain pink pony, Roma's afternoon does nothing but go downhill. by MalWinters 4,719 words · 105 · 2

Top Favourites 11-15

The Diamond Cutter She’s a rich filly. He’s a poor colt. What happens when Diamond Tiara accepts a dare to take Snips to the Sadie Hoofkins Dance? by Nova Force 28,643 words · 72 · 1
Dear Idiot After the gala, Princess Celestia sends Blueblood a letter to "explain" a few things... by The Descendant 2,809 words · 1,759 · 46
To Start a Fire A few months after his "redemption," Luna challenges Discord to give up chaos for good and truly become a hero. It doesn't go well. by Dubs Rewatcher 5,289 words · 71 · 2
Discord of Tomorrow After Discord failed to break up Twilight's friendships, he decides to trade places with a future Discord where the Elements would no longer exist. A future where, unknown to him, Discord has been reformed... by ChaoticConduct 9,935 words · 601 · 5
Diamond Tiara's Little Sister Diamond Tiara gains a little sister, and she's not happy about it. by AliceA020 2,173 words · 83 · 1